reactions and the worst

[noname]

Two part post here.

1: What group of people would you say gives the worst reaction?

It seems to me it's the women who are 20 - 25. They seem to really stare and roll their eyes at each other. ( Do they think I'm stupid and don't notice. )

2: What is with the smiling reaction?

I seem to get this one from time to time. The other day I was wearing cargo shorts and green t-shirt with the cap sleaves. This lady kept staring at me, so I finally stared back and she just smiles at me. I've gotten this a few times. What is with the smile thing? I was raised not to stare at people you find weird, odd or unusual.

What are you experiences. Perhaps some GG can answer my questions about the whole smile thing.

[kathy gg]

Hmm last time I checked most people smiled to be nice and pleasant..... seriously though....women make eye contact when they are walking and in what they percieve to be a non-thretening environment. Most of us dont' walk around staring at the ground or sky or scowling. I find smiling puts most people at ease. Regardless I would rather get a smile from a stranger than the rolling eye....0.02

[Butterfly Bill]

1. Males on the cusp of teens and 20s, especially when drunk and riding with more of the same in a car on the main drag on Friday or Saturday night.

2. When women smile at men it is usually because they think they are attractive. I take it as a compliment when they do it to me. When they smile after they have realized that you have noticed them looking at you, it can be an attempt to defuse a potentially embarrassing situation. The proper reaction is to smile back.

[Sky]

What group of people would you say gives the worst reaction?

Groups of guys, by a landslide.

It's easy: even assuming a guy is tolerant and open minded about xdressing, he would not dare showing it when hanging out with his buddies (even though some of them may be equally open minded). So they are more likely to holler, laugh and do all sorts of stupid macho things.

The solution is easy: ignore them completely. Don't try to confront them: even if they are not likely to get physical, the "group pattern" behavior will make them laugh even harder.

Needless to mention, a single guy will almost never say anything bad to you, unless he is drunk as a goat.


It seems to me it's the women who are 20 - 25. They seem to really stare and roll their eyes at each other. ( Do they think I'm stupid and don't notice.)

Yes, let's face it, some girls are not nice to us. I have noticed that reaction too, especially when you are sort of invading their turf, for example when you are browsing for lingerie. But a woman -alone or in a group- will never say anything loud no matter how you look. So they are not really threatening in any way. Mind your own business, simply ignore them.

[Lilith Moon]

Mallrats. Those groups of teenage girls who hang around malls, especially on Saturdays. Their tranny radar is acute and when they spot you they are merciless...they will follow you screaming "Guy in a dress" until other shoppers stop and stare, wondering what the fuss is all about.

At least, that was my experience :(

[Marla S]

1: What group of people would you say gives the worst reaction?
As Bill said " Males on the cusp of teens and 20s". I think they are themselves exploring their gender roles and react a bit hysterical if their is some confusion.


2: What is with the smiling reaction?
I take a smile as a smile; a gesture of friendliness.
Sometimes I might confsue it with a smirk, but as I can't read peoples mind I don't worry about it.

[myMichelle]

Some of the worst reactions I've ever gotten have come from young (20ish) guys. But it is a close tie between them and teen girls!

I think people smile because often they are a bit unsure as to just how to react. They're not necessarily trying to be rude, but rather they're trying to sort out what they're seeing and maybe even feeling when they encounter one of us. I really don't let it bother me--I smile right back and keep on doing my thing. (and besides, I'd lot rather have someone smiling at me than harrassing me!)

[Karren H]

Well, I have that stuck-up woman thingy down pat so I probably don't notice most of the ones that read me!! Hehehe. Hell maybe they all read me?? Scarry thought. :) I shy away from crowds of teenagers just to be safe and get the bigest smiles from older genglemen. More likely due their poor eye sight I suspect!!

Hmmmm. That's a good idea!! Crossdressing and hanging around retirement or old folks homes. :D. Or anywhere optically challenged people congregate!! I'd be big a hit at a convention for the blind!! Sorry.....getting carried away again!!

Love Karren

[Richelle]

From my experience it is teen age and early 20's girls. They tend to look everyone over, no matter what they are doing. I believe that it is part of growing up in today’s society from them to compare their appearance to everyone else. When they are in a group and someone does not meet what they consider to be the norm, they have a negative reaction. This has been my experience, based on many outings to the local malls.

Richelle

[Bernadina]

I don't think anyone can come as close to reacting badly as some of the so called Christian folk. Not only are we societies outcast, we are also full of sin and hated by God.

http://www.geocities.com/bernadina_q/CD/hotstuff.jpg

[Calliope]

Young women have always seemed the kindest in my experience. A bit of a giggle from the teens (say, when I'm browsing the makeup racks next to them), but quizzical and charmed as a general rule. Never a hassle from young women - and I'm glad of that because I've always felt young women provide the greatest justification for continued life on this irrational planet.

The least forgiving stares I've ever encountered have invariably come from 'old ladies' - crinkled, ossified, arthritic, sad. I never feel defensive, considering. Once, I was taking a walk (bopping along to an iPod is a great shield) and sensed this nuclear-powered scowl aimed straight at me; the old lemon was right out of Dogpatch USA - goatee included.

[Marla S]

Why do people always blame Christians? As if the Muslim faith is TG-friendly?
Let's say: Fundamental monotheists.;)
Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all have he same/similar cultural background and share the same roots.

[Sky]

Funny how we seem to have widely different opinions. Young males, young girls, old ladies, christians, the list goes on.

When you don't see a definite trend among a wide sample of opinions, the most likely answer is "there is no trend". Meybe no group is specifically hostile to us. Maybe some young guys, some young girls, some old ladies and some christians laugh at us while some others don't. Who knows? Ultimately, who cares?

While I don't have a solution to erradicate the smirks and the comments, I do have one for us: relax and live your own life. Don't be all freaked out about your image. "Are they reading me?" is a terrible question, because the more you worry about it, the most stressed you will be and the easier will be to get read. Practice your manners, your gestures and your walking, don't try to make eye contact -unless you cross paths with one of those unbelievable hunks...:heehee: and strut your stuff! You'll see how much easier it is when you're not thinking about the others!

[Marcia-B]

Please don't ban me.I just wanted to defend a minority group who disagree with us.I hope this is not offensive.I don't plan to talk about this again but I would say that not all criticism is hatred.Whatever you do somebody will disagree with it and they have a perfect right to disagree.We can't force everbody to be silent or agree with everything we do otherwise we would end up like totalitarians.Political correctness might silence peoples mouths but it does not change their hearts.Wouldn't it be better to know what people actually think than just silence everyone.I would rather know If someone doesnt like me or disagrees with me than if they kept silent and I thought they were my friend and later stabbed me in the back.I think christians often get a bad or unfair hearing from the GLBT community and below I would like to give a fair hearing to some christians that I know and what they believe about this issue.
I think Christians do not hate crossdressers.They love people and want them to be saved and got to heaven and they spend a lot of time praying for this.It is true that the bible is against crossdressing Deuteronomy 22:5. Christians want people to repent and turn from their sins (whatever they may be).Many christians are against drunkeness but they don't hate the drunkards they go out to help them.They do tell them they are sinners just like everybody else but they try to tell them about the Lord Jesus and the way of salvation.Many peoples lives have been turned around like this and they are no longer beating their wives,they are bringing home all their wages,and looking after the family.Christians believe that "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God".That means everybody not just one particular group of people.To them it would be one particular manifestation of sin.No true christian would hate anybody but "he that hateth his brother is a murderer".
They would be critical but only because they are concerned about you and concerned about your soul.I know quite a lot of christians and they are very nice people who will welcome you into their homes.
They can't help it they are born again that way.Christians don't like swearing,dirty jokes and various other things but they don't hate all people that swear.
However I know that there ARE SO CALLED christians who hate people.They are not christians.
So I would say real christians love us and are concerned about us and only want the best for us.Most christians wouldnt even mention peoples individual sins but sin in general and the Lord Jesus.They just want us to have what they have got.They just want us to share the same happiness.Most chistians would say come to Christ and God will deal with your life.
They might disagree with us but we shouldn't persecute them and burn them as heretics!

[Bev06 GG]

I don't think anyone can come as close to reacting badly as some of the so called Christian folk. Not only are we societies outcast, we are also full of sin and hated by God.

http://www.geocities.com/bernadina_q/CD/hotstuff.jpg
Awww Bernadina. You say So Called and honestly that would be what they were if they thought you were societies outcasts. True Christian folk realise that we all fall short of the glory of God whatever our attire. Honestly babes, we have allsorts in our church family, gays, lesbians and true sinners just like me. BTW im not gay or lesbian folks.
As for my experiences on who's worse for looking and staring, most of my worst experiences when out with my CD friends have come from middle aged shop assistants in Supermarkets would you believe.
Take care
BEVxxx

[Marla S]

It is true that the bible is against crossdressing Deuteronomy 22:5. Christians want people to repent and turn from their sins (whatever they may be).
Please, can't we just forgett about this verse in relation to CDing. It has been atrillion times shown that this either is not related to CDing or people taking this as an argument are so biased and/or vain that I can't take their "help" to repent seriously.

Christianity is about LOVE and not about splitting hairs.

[noname]

Hmm last time I checked most people smiled to be nice and pleasant..... seriously though....women make eye contact when they are walking and in what they percieve to be a non-thretening environment. Most of us dont' walk around staring at the ground or sky or scowling. I find smiling puts most people at ease. Regardless I would rather get a smile from a stranger than the rolling eye....0.02


Thanks Kathy, well said. I'm pretty good at reading people. But this smile after staring confused me. It wasn't rude, just appeared to be a genuine smile and I wasn't exactly certain to interpret it. Agreed though, a smile is so much nicer than an eye roll or a scowl.


Reading your post it reminded me of another smile I recieved the same day at the same store. Walking down the isle and a couple walking the other direction with the wife pushing the cart. The husband steped right in my path and exclaims to his wife how great this juice is picking it up and examing the product. He was to say, completely unware he just stepped right in front of me. I kind of smirked and his wife smiled at me. It came across to me as if she was saying, yes, I know... not all you guys are like this. But who knows.

Perhaps self conscience we interpret things the wrong way.


They love people and want them to be saved and got to heaven and they spend a lot of time praying for this.It is true that the bible is against crossdressing Deuteronomy 22:5.

Interesting, do you believe all women who wear pants are going to hell? I wonder how many of these "caring" people are asking women to repent for their crossdressing? ( Whoops! I forgot, that's different ) You might be surprised to learn that others here and myself have studied this extensively.

[Rachel Ann]

Hmmmmmm

For me, teens and post-adolescents of both sexes are trouble, but only when they are in packs. As individuals they behave better. Guys are scarier than girls because they tend to be more physically aggressive. I usually don’t go to malls en femme except during school hours.

In shopping situations I usually find that the store personnel are usually quite nice, but I get the hairy eyeball from GG shoppers a lot, especially in places like the bra section. I only use the fitting room in thrift stores.

When I went to the GLBT Pride Parade, the “God Hates Fags” gang had taken up a position right outside the train station exit. However, they were so outnumbered that they ended up cowering together in a small bunch. :p (They are the ones who go around picketing the funerals of murdered gays. :mad:)

I never forget how lucky I am to be living in one of the most T-friendly places in the world. I never have to worry about being treated nicely in a bar or a restaurant. :D

Rachel xxx

[NighttimeGirl]

yeah them god hates fags lot are a scarey bunch, Im in the UK but I have heard of these lot more than once, obviously dont enjoy thier own life so wanna mess up everyone elses, seen a clip of a mentalist woman at a funeral shouting at the relatives of the deceased that it serves them right etc, sick bunch.

I tend to think anyone who is growing up and learning about thier own self because lets face it when your a teen it can be pretty confusing, I aint condonin or condemning them but I think the reactions would go well accross the board, just lately I have gone through a stage of outing myself to evryone, maybe a confidence thing and the mixed reactions I get is always suprising.

besides what does it matter what the next vicki pollard thinks!!!!! lol

[Marcia-B]

Nobody is going to hell for crossdressing male or female.
All I was saying is some disagree with us but don't hate us .I accept there are others who claim to be christian who do but they are not to be lumped all together.
Christian want all people to repent,no one is any worse or any better
we are all the same.I am not telling anybody to do anything or judging anyone.I am a crossdresser myself.If you read my previous posts you will see that I am very far from condemning anyone about this.This is something that I do and will probably do for the rest of my life.
I am struggling with the idea of going full time.
I just think everyone should be able to express their opinions.I am quite happy for someone to disagree with me on every subject under the sun.I don't get angry ,I enjoy the fact that people are being open with me.
Have you ever been to speakers corner in London on a Sunday.Great fun there is every religion you can think of,all kinds of political speakers communist,socialists,conservatives,right wing ,left wing,pro black,Gay rights,comedians,atheists,Palestinian rights,Israeli speakers,Kashmir people talking about their rights.People defending Mugabi,people speaking against Mugabi.
People have been killed for their religious beliefs,their political ideologies (however you spell it),their opinions.
I just wanted to put all the evidence before you and you can judge for yourself about them and you can call me any name you want I will be very happy that you expressed your true opinion.
I think these people are relatively harmless and will only talk.I would be more concerned about a group of drunken lads or a group of teenagers but I dont think we should pick ony any group.BIg up the hoodies, they are getting a lot of stick.

[GG Vanya]

Mallrats. Those groups of teenage girls who hang around malls, especially on Saturdays. Their tranny radar is acute and when they spot you they are merciless...they will follow you screaming "Guy in a dress" until other shoppers stop and stare, wondering what the fuss is all about.

At least, that was my experience :(


Lilith,

I wasn't blessed with a daughter, and sometimes I think God knew exactly what he was doing in department! :D I have little to no patience with the attitudes of teen girls these days. It's as if they've taken "school yard bullying" to a new level.

IF I had a daughter, and IF I found out she'd treated someone in an alternate lifestyle in this manner, I can't even begin to think what would be proper punishment for her.

Making her wear brogan boots and fatigues for a month wouldn't work. Hell, she'd probably have half the other mall rats wearin' em too. Suffice it to say, she'd be VERY familiar with the four walls of her bedroom. :Angry3:

By Daytripper:

The least forgiving stares I've ever encountered have invariably come from 'old ladies' - crinkled, ossified, arthritic, sad. I never feel defensive, considering. Once, I was taking a walk (bopping along to an iPod is a great shield) and sensed this nuclear-powered scowl aimed straight at me; the old lemon was right out of Dogpatch USA - goatee included.

Tsk Tsk, has it ever occurred to you that, if you are granted a long life, you also will fit this description?

I look at signs of aging the way I do stretch marks from giving birth. The only nice and endearing thing I can remember my ex saying to me was: Your stretch marks are beautiful to me. They are like jewels in the crown of motherhood.

My Mom just passed away in October. Being Cherokee, her hair was silver, and her face had the deep crevices associated with elderly Native Americans.
Each silver hair, and each wrinkle was beautiful to me.

Yeah I know, Pretty is as pretty does.:D


__________________

[Calliope]

Tsk Tsk, has it ever occurred to you that, if you are granted a long life, you also will fit this description?


The part about scowling at someone whose appearance does not confirm to my expectations - I really must say I am sure I will never fit that description. Please re-direct that 'tsk tsk.'

[GG Vanya]

The part about scowling at someone whose appearance does not confirm to my expectations - I really must say I am sure I will never fit that description. Please re-direct that 'tsk tsk.'

Ahh the inadequecies of corresponding via written word! I failed to make it clear which "description" I was referring to.

It is this: 'old ladies' - crinkled, ossified, arthritic, that I tsk tsk'd ya about. :D

[Calliope]

It is this: 'old ladies' - crinkled, ossified, arthritic, that I tsk tsk'd ya about. :D

Guilty as charged, I was dishing - but not within any realm in which they (who have been generalized) would know and be hurt. On the other hand, I was referring to receiving direct, public, one-on-one disapproval - from them (hence the catty description). When I'm crinkled, ossified and arthritic (sometime next week, probably) I trust my public behavior will earn less disapprobation than they. Or am I just rationalizing?

[PinkVanessa07]

I am a Christian and I used to judge people, even as a CD. I would never laugh or say anything, though. Now, grown up, I try not to judge anybody, I just try to be as nice to others so maybe they will be nice to me.

[Rachel Ann]

Just a general observation to throw in to the mix: Although women tend to be more nurturing than men, they also tend to be more judgmental.

[jjjjohanne]

I used to feel like I should only buy my femme stuff from older women at cash registers. I avoided teenagers, especially the boys. I had a fear of black people making a scene.

I have been out dressed some. Often, I am dressed en femme clothes, but as a man. I have found that black people are nice to me. Some teen girls laughed loudly at me, but I have had either non-event experiences or inquisitive interactions with black persons. I have had women politely ask me questions about why I was dressed the way I was. I guess they didn't jump to what I feel is the obvious conclusion.

Teens have not bothered me. (I don't go alone to remote places at night. I stick to malls, and safe places.) I stepped out of a dressing room one time and some teenage girls were near the dressing room. I was in a skirt. The girls leaned to get a look, but no laugh or any negative reaction.

It turns out, the most unpleasant reactions I have ever gotten were from white women at or over 50. One lady gave me two long dirty looks when I was browsing a dress rack. Another lady bumped into me in two stores. I was trying on shoes at one of them. She seemed disappointed in me. She later said, "I hope you are going to be in a pageant."

Obvious my notions of people's reactions are poorly formed!

[Kimberly]

Why do people always blame Christians? As if the Muslim faith is TG-friendly?
As if ALL ORTHADOX RELIGION is TG friendly...

[Bobbie cd]

yeah them god hates fags lot are a scarey bunch, Im in the UK but I have heard of these lot more than once, obviously dont enjoy thier own life so wanna mess up everyone elses, seen a clip of a mentalist woman at a funeral shouting at the relatives of the deceased that it serves them right etc, sick bunch.



OMG, if you think that sick lot are scary when viewed on the television, you should see their sick, pathetic act up close in real life. I see these brainwashed zealots picketing all over town on a regular basis. The saddest part is seeing the young brainwashed children holding up these rude, nasty signs, often in the heat of the day.
Do not confuse these peoples with truly religious, spiritual folk. Their leader is a dis-barred lawer, as well as a de-frocked Baptist Minister (he had to start his own church to satisfy his egotistical demagoguery!)

The sad thing is, due to the success of the legal chicanery of some of the members in suing anyone who they feel opposes them, the city officials and most people are just scared of them.

[jarts55]

Bobbie-cd
Are you talking about those from your fair state that have been going to the funnerals of America"s finest who have given all in our defence in Iraq?
What a group! What a way to dishonor their sacrifice. IMHO if you want some one to see things your way, you don't call them names and tell them they are going to hell.

[ReginaK]

Worst reaction? Definitely older women. Between 40-60 years old to be specific. The usual "you must be gay" thing, followed by them sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming like a little child when I try to explain anything to them.

Best reaction? Probably younger women. Like 18-30. Usually a lot of questions, but nothing that shows that they might be put off by it.

[cath]

Personally if on my own or with other adults it wouldn't bother me I'm a great believer in live and let live. I would also like to say that the effort you all go to makes me ashamed as on a bad morning of chasing kids around trying to get out the door I look terrible when I leave the house. At least you take the time to look nice which deserves an approving smile.
On the other hand if out with children, if I was to notice I would give a wide berth the same as I do with people that dye their hair bright green(or many other colours) as children have a nack of embarrasing the best of us.
I would just say go and enjoy, if people don't like it that is their problem not yours.

[tekla west]

As someone who spends a lot of time with people who dye thier hair stange colors, you need not be afraid, unless you worry your kids will want that shade too. Yeesh, its only hair, the differenced between kelly green hair and jet black hair is about 1/2 hour needed to change the color. I mean, why would someone with bright green hair start a problem, its not like they can just melt into the crowd.

From time to time I'm kinda amazed at how intollerent some of us are while screaming for tollerence.

The kids are alright.

[cath]

The point I was making is that children have a nack of asking awkward questions in very loud voices creating maximum embarassment for everyone.
My eldest is past this and wouldnt bat an eyelid but my youngest still hasnt quite got the hang of being quiet.
Sorry if I caused any offence!

[tekla west]

No offense taken, and I think people with Green Hair DESERVE to be embaressed by little kids, that goes with the deal, LOL! My crew chief from time to time has green - like optic green, use him for a landing becon or something - hair, and I love it when kids make fun of him. Laugh riot.

Serriously, anyone with hair like that is - gasp - doing it for attention, just like a Mohawk, or the guy down the street from me who dyes his white dog pink, or blue depending on his mood.

[julie w]

I was out enfemme about a month ago walking down a street when a women
about 40 with a male companion walked by me she smiled and said hallo
I gave her a smile did she read me or was she just being friendly to another
women ? I hate say it but the only time I have been laughed at is by
black girls

[Bridget]

Hmmm...the only negative, if it can be considered as such reactions I've had only came from store clerks. They're not really negative, as in hostile, however. I was buying shoes en male and I told the clerk when she said, "That I could buy some shoes for myself" (Even why buying the most obvious items you would think would indicate that you're a crossdresser, I never get read...), that the shoes, very fashionable sandals, were for myself, she looked puzzled and embarassed. The other time was when I opened my mouth to speak with the clerk when buying a swimsuit dressed. The clerk equally was puzzled and embarassed.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

My experience is that teenage kids tend to be the ones that tend to read me the most, and are the most likely to giggle and stare. But I don't pay them much attention because it's their insecurities that are showing.

As far as smiling, from what I can tell, it's the equivalent of The Nod men give each other to acknowledge each other's presence.

As far as staring, one thing my Pilates instructor once said that we shouldn't assume people are staring for bad reasons. She said she used to stare at CDs because she was fascinated that they did such as good job at presenting themselves.


From time to time I'm kinda amazed at how intollerent some of us are while screaming for tollerence.

What Kat said....

[Tiffany 1953]

Yes, let's face it, some girls are not nice to us. I have noticed that reaction too, especially when you are sort of invading their turf, for example when you are browsing for lingerie.


I have noticed that the GG's that are secure in their own femininity are the most accepting of us for invading their space. The most complimentary comment I have ever received was from a an older waitress that told my wife "I think it is great for a man to try to emulate a woman honey, Just goes to prove they want to be like us."

[Rachel Morley]

What is with the smiling reaction?
Personally, I think a smile from a GG means that she probabaly finds you either interesting, or at the very least, non threatening...both of which are a good thing. I say, if you get a smile...smile back.:happy:

[noname]

I just got a reaction a couple of days ago when I got a pedicure. I picked out a light green color. As I sat down these two women said, "Is that color for you?" yeah it is. Are you wearing any now? Uh huh. Let's see, they said. I showed them saying it changes color, so cool. They are painted! one exclaimed. I said, it's ok, it's not like the sky is going to fall or anything. She back pedaled a bit saying she knows. She then wennt on to say, wow I thought my husband was odd ( can't remember the word she used ) or just ahead of his time. I guess that wasn't too bad. Hopefully I left the impression that guys getting nail color is ok. I really find it strange that something as simple as color is tied to a certain sex.

Later that day while browsing with the wife, I was looking for pants. Some girls decided to giggle and laugh, they kept calling for their friend who was working at the time to come and check this out, you gotta check this out. ( Store was empty ) code green code green... we gotta ( couldn't hear ) on our hands, code green code green. Maybe I was just being over hyper aware. Ok this post had not real point, but both in the same day.

[jjjjohanne]

I have a skirt that has little shorts inside of it. It is a garment made of something like spandex. I wore it with my sheer hose, fake keds, and a ladies polo shirt (with a slightly lacy collar), and went for a walk. It was 7am, so I could avoid most people. I could pull up the skirt so that it looked like shorts. I wore it and walked about a 1/2 mile. I came back in to my apartment complex near the back area. As I came out of the trail that cuts through the woods, I heard a car door. I started to only show my shorts. I saw an older woman entering a van. I decided to let the skirt hang. I walked toward her since that was my way home. She looked up from what she was doing and smiled at me and I smiled and waved at her. I don't know when she noticed the skirt, but she kept looking my way and kept smiling in a nice looking way. It was nice just being me in a skirt!

Joe

[Jodi]

I would say that a group of drunk rednecks are the worst. Teenage girls might giggle and point, but they are harmless.

The next are extreme fundamentalist, rightwing Christians. As I have seen written lately-"Oh so many extreme, rightwing Christians, Oh so few lions".

Jodi