small town people

[AndreaFranklinTG]

I have a Question . I live in a small town , about 3000 ppl.
Think it would be a good idea to got out enfem . I've been out in my car
, but never in public . I just have no idea what it would be like .
Any sujestions?


Luv all Panda

[Michelle Ellis]

I usually consider my area to be small at 30,000... I would think maybe about the next bigger town or something maybe?

Well I'm kinda like you, I've always wondered about getting out in public, but I think I have more work to do first. I've been out in my car tho :o that's a lot of fun! :p

M

[trannie T]

If you go out you will be 'outing' yourself. Someone will recognize you. If you are leaving the closet go for it, girl! Wish that I had the courage to go out in my small town.

[Ann Craven]

Firstly : think of the consequences of being recognised.

Remember, Cding is a "fringe activity" : not everyone accepts it.

What have you got to lose ? ( Family, career, etc. )

No problem. Go for it.

Any doubts . Go out of area. How far depends on how well known you are en drab.

Ann

[Rachel M]

If your're outed, than you will be an instant celebrity. Or at least the talk of the town. If you can handle it, then more power to ya.

[Win Der Mere]

This sort of celebrity gets remembered, for a LONG time.

Win

[Eugenie]

There are several dimensions to your question.

A lot of the reactions to your outing as a CD in a small or even large town depends upon how well known you are in your community. If you hold a public role in your community the reactions may be brutal, they may even involve local newspaper articles.

Concerning your own person: are you ready to face the consequences just for yourself. In small towns there tends to be more conservative people than in large metropolis. Their reactions may feel hurtfull to you as a person. This could mean also job loss or if you are an independant worker, loss of customers.

Another aspect concerns your family and close friends. They may get indirectly but personally hurt by the reactions of the public to your outing. They may also turn away from you. Well that's a way to know who is really with you, but at what price?

Here too, the fact that members of your family or close friends are well known in your home town will play an important role.

One other aspect is how feminine you look when dressed. For some of us the look when "en femme" is so natural that in fact most people wouldn't recognize them even if they knew the man behind...

But the important thing is to know if your deep desire to go public is stronger than all the potential risks associated to it.

All of the above is of course based upon my own situation: I live in a small town in Southern France, a very conservative population. I am well known but I wouldn't fear for my own. My family is well known and there I would fear for the impact on them. I'm not "passing" very well when "en femme" and my urge to go public isn't strong enough...

As a result I reserve my going out "en femme" in public to places where I'm not well known, for example when I travel on business trip, and in large towns...
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Helen MC]

I have to say I don't like small towns or small town people. I lived as a kid in a large city and moved at 18 to London and now live in the outskirts of the Capital and Greater London is a big enough City to say the least.

I don't go out dressed, I am quite content to be in the closet although in an ideal world I would love to be able to wear a skirt in public . If however you do wish to go outdoors en-femme, as others have already said you could be heading for disaster if you do so in a small town. Once outed that is it and you could suffer in your home life, your job and even physical violence

I would suggest a compromise. Drive out of the area in male clothing and park up somewhere isolated and get changed into female clothes in your car, assuming you will already be wearing panties under your male clothing. Drive on to a larger town or city and as far as observers there are concerned you are simply a woman parking up and getting out of her car. Enjoy yourself and on your return reverse the process. The other solution would be to drive in "drab" to a motel. Get a room as far from Reception as possible, get changed into female clothing and then drive into town as above .

Best of luck, Go Girl Go!

[kaitlin]

Hello Panda, I too live in a small town...I don't think it is wise to out yourself unless you are completely sure you want everyone to know. I have been taught that most people tell a good thing to 3/5 people and a bad thing to 7/10 people. No matter how you look at it everyone will know soon enough. I wish I was brave enough to let the world know of my fem side but we are not that advanced in our open minded thinking yet. Kaitlin

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, just how much do 3000 people talk to each other? My thinking is that if you do your best to make a good impression (and do nothing weird), be nice to others and show you have a good heart, there is not too much to complain about, is there? I wouldn't mind having that situation and putting my best foot forward as Ericka. Something to think about. Ericka

[NighttimeGirl]

go on these small towns! 3000 ppl? what are the statistics on crossdressing out of say every 10 guys/girls, that would be interesting because if the stats were high you could end up changing the whole town, hee hee

Just imagine that! what a popular destination that would be amongst tourists :heehee:

go for it and always remember, its like going for a job interview

when i go for a job interview I think along the lines of saying to the interviewer " Hi i come to interview you to see if you are good enough to employ me"

it's a confidence thing and what ppl think you may have(its all superficial)

so when you dress and take steps out think of how beautiful you look and always be smiling.

thats my 2 penneth anyways you go for it

:love:

[Karren H]

Well I grew up in a town of 1,400 and unless you pass really well, I know everyone in the whole town would know 2 minutes after the first person found out! And if you don't care then go for it, girl!! But I'd drive enfemme to another town, perferably larger, and go out there first! Get more comfortable going out enfemme...

Love Karren

[Wendy me]

ok let's do this soooooo simple ....silly to just ask if i should go out post your best pic.. then and only then can anyone realy let you know if you should go out or not......

[Angie G]

welcome panda it nice to have you with the family hope you enjoy your stay. Very good point Wendy made give us your best pic the more info we have the better we can help.:hugs:
Angie

[Lawren]

If you have the urge and the courage then, by all means, go out.
Please keep in mind though, that small towns are rumor mills. It seems that everyone knows what everyone else is doing. I grew up in a town of less than 1,000 and now live in one that has only about 1,600. Granted, it is easier to go out and not be seen in a place where the population is small and spread out over a large area but a higher percentage of the population is more likely to recognize you by you car if by nothing else.
I don't mean to sound discouraging, just cautious.

[connie rotten]

Small town where? It depends on the town. If you lived there any length of time you should have some idea if it is safe or not. Is the worst thing you could suffer is the stygma of being the queer in girls clothes? Would some one do you harm then or in the future for going out dressed?
More info in your profile would make it easier for forum members to have some idea as to how to answer your question?

[AndreaFranklinTG]

hi gals i dont have a camera as of yet but im going to pic one up at the store i should have pics by next week
i just wish i had some one to hold the camera lol
Panda

[MsJanessa]

My personal advice is to try it first in a larger city---at a gay bar on drag night or a bar that caters to TGs---once you get comfortable in that venue then try it in a smaller place.

[Karren H]

hi gals i dont have a camera as of yet but im going to pic one up at the store i should have pics by next week
i just wish i had some one to hold the camera lol
Panda

Pickup a mini-tripod, too...fits in your purse and great for those action shots in the ladies room!! hehehe

Love Karren

[Olivia]

Going out en femme in my hometown (pop. 6000) would be social and professional "suicide", no matter how well you pass. Once you were made, and you would be, if only by people recognizing your car or truck, then the shit begins to hit the fan. If you can handle the spray, then no prob. If you don't want to have to handle it, then I'd sure suggest traveling a bit further for your fun. Just my .02 worth, your mileage may vary.:happy: Olivia

[LindaTS]

I happen to live in a small town, about 1200 people and one traffic light, and am fairly sure I could run around without being recognized. However, there is always the possibility of it and I'm not willing to take the chance so whenever I go out I always drive to the small city that I do all my shopping in. I'm always out during the daytime so the biggest risk is when leaving or coming back to the house. You know, the first half block or so. I've said in the past that I was working on being full time but it won't be here where I now live. Just can't take the chance here.

[tekla west]

I lived in lots of small towns and I just can't belive you think you could get away in a town of 1200. I knew the people in my town by thier headlights at night for petes sake. That and in such places there is always a cafe or dinner or something where the news of the day travels quicker than wheels. If its small town America, they know you by your car if nothing else.

Now, first all small towns are not the same, its a regional thing
Second, if you family owns the town, you can do what you want
Third, where is there to go? My town had a bank, cafe, gas station, farm supply store and grain elevator, big fun. I wanted bright lights, big city and all that.

[Breanne]

Don't forget, in a small town if you go for a drive, you may not be recognized, but chances are good that your car will be, the next step after that may not be to your liking.

[AndreaFranklinTG]

i thank you for all the advice
acually in the last couple of days or so , I have been thinking of selling my house (and i know ill make a killing cause prices have sky rocketed )
and moving to Vancouver BC Canada
its a very nice place there and very accepting of all type of people
thank you all i have decided not to make things harder while i am still here in a small town :hugs:
Panda

[tekla west]

I hear nothing but good things about Vancouver BC. I would think this is a good decision. I know a lot of the girls in here (and the bois over there) are unhappy because they can not pursue thier life choices where they are, but they resist the need to change locations.

Look, if you want to be a surfer you got to leave Kansas, if you want to be a cowboy you got to get out of mid-town Manhatten.

[Gunda]

Panda,
You are braver than me, and I live next to a city. I would agree with all thats been said here. Suffice it to say that cities have always been areas where anonimity can be attained which is why there are typically more people living alternate lifestyles openly in urban areas than rural ones.
My grandparents lived in Vancouver and I was up there every six weeks while they were alive, so I know something of the town. No freeway system so its a b**** to get around if you drive anything bigger than a "Tokyo Torpedo" - coming from Alberta truck-country that may take some getting used to. You are probably also aware how insane property prices are there. Forget about a house unless you want to live in Langely, Abbottsford, or Delta - and it'd be expensive even then. I figure values are going to peak during the upcoming Olympics in a few years and then return to reason after the "hangover" begins. Still, you could be anonymous in Vancouver which may be what you want.

Best,
Gunda

[linnea]

If you go out you will be 'outing' yourself. Someone will recognize you. If you are leaving the closet go for it, girl! Wish that I had the courage to go out in my small town.

Going out in a town that size will, in effect, be a literal "outing." If that's what you want, then go for it. But you'll never unring that bell, so be sure that that is what you want. For your first time out, I would suggest that you do it in a larger area, away from your home.

[sue_donim]

I don't know what the exact population is where I live, but just like lindaTS we also have only one trafic light, and that is just as you come onto the island. The island itself is only 11 miles long and 5000ft wide and has two nature reserves, so I would guess the populations quite small. I have lived here for nearly 10 years and besides myself I know of one other girl who is out. I have never had anything more serious happen than the occasional bit of verbal abuse which I just ignore. Kelly (the other girl) once told me of an incident that happened to her, she had paint thrown over her car and even though she didn't witness the event the culprits were aprehended easily because in a small area it's harder for anyone to hide.

Sue_donim :-)

[AndreaFranklinTG]

:love: Thank for the advice tunda but im acually from BC and love it there
i origionally came to alberta because of my wife ( well now my X)
i know what its like there
but at that time in my life it was not for me
but its what i want now
plus the whole no more winter thing is great
(to all those who have never lived in canada we have a very different opinion on winter)
Im sorry if im rude
sorta moody today not sure why
maybe i should eat somethin havent eaten in 4 days yoiks
sorry im ramblin again
LUV ALL Panda :love:

[Dee 1062]

Don't, or wait till dark......I go into another town 30 miles from me....I feel much better...Small town girl,Dee

[Melissa A.]

Jeez, a town of 3,000? you should worry about someone recognizing your CAR, not to mention you. I would run every red light till I was out of town. Then keep driving. Unless you don't care. But I understand that can be tough in a small place like that.

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[LindaTS]

I lived in lots of small towns and I just can't belive you think you could get away in a town of 1200. I knew the people in my town by thier headlights at night for petes sake. That and in such places there is always a cafe or dinner or something where the news of the day travels quicker than wheels. If its small town America, they know you by your car if nothing else.

Now, first all small towns are not the same, its a regional thing
Second, if you family owns the town, you can do what you want
Third, where is there to go? My town had a bank, cafe, gas station, farm supply store and grain elevator, big fun. I wanted bright lights, big city and all that.


I have a feeling that this was directed at me but I don't have a problem with it. When I said I thought I could get away with it I was speaking from experience. On two seperate ocassions I've seen people that I know when shopping out of the immediate area. Not one sign of recognition. The other thing that was mentioned is the car. I bought my latest car about two years ago and have since discovered that there are quite a few amost like it right here in town. It doesn't seem like anyone notices it. I always drive right through town when coming and going. Of course I would assume that everyones situation may be different. This just happens to be mine. But no matter what, good luck to all of you.

[julie w]

I live in a large city and still worry about being spotted .,just remember
you cant go back into the closet once you are out .when I retire I may
move to a small town but I plan to live just about full time

[Denise01]

I live near a small village, population about 1800 people if you count all the cats and dogs.
I would think it is very difficult to go out in a small town dressed unless you are ready to come out fully, as has been mentioned previously, you might not be recognized but your car sure will be.
I find in the village that I live near, there are a lot of narrow minded people who do not or will not accept our life style.
I was at a reception a few years back, one of the men was wearing a very nice Kilt, and one of the ladies commented " why is he wearing a skirt "
It was all i could do to keep my cool and not give her a piece of my mind.

When I go shopping, i usually go to a city about hour and half from home there, i have a lesser chance of runnning into any one i know. There is one ladies store I do go to, in a city about 20 minuets from me, but it is in a mall on the edge of town, and a freestanding store. I do leave home fully femme, but living in the country, it is a little easier to do, and then i do not have to go through the village to get where i am going.
I am still very careful when i am out femme at least 2 hours from home, but in the mall where i go, if i do see some one i know, i am not too worried, as i would be so far out of context from what they would expect, i doubt any one would recognize me.

When I do go there femme, i am very careful, usually go in the evening as I know too many people in the area of the city, and watch the cars in the lot before i go in to see who is there.

Remember once your are outed in a small town or village there is no turning back.

Be careful, but enjoy and have a good time

Denise

[Sam-antha]

Whether you work and live there or just live there, you would be on dangerous ground going out. You have a car, get to the next town, big or small, they will not know you there. I would hope.
~Samm

[Jesse69]

I've acquired a big reputation in Chicago as a crossdressor simply because I bought a lot of womens clothes as a guy. Now if I did it in full drag at the start maybe I wouldn't have had that reputation because I would have been in disguise and I do look very passable (only lately since I was 150 lbs or less).

Big cities are awesome for their shopping and thrift stores, and I just couldn't help shopping.

I do face problems in jobs and making friends simply because they know about my crossdressing. It's funny how it has popped up at every job I've worked at (13 jobs?).

If I moved somewhere else where know one knows me I would shop in full drag for womens clothes. But I have a lot of clothes now and I feel I shouldn't shop anymore. I have more womens clothes than mens!