How Much is Enough?

[Jenni]

I just don't know what to think, or how to handle this, but it seems as though the more I dress the further I want to "go" with it. This has been especially true lately, as I seem to me buying more and more clothes, and wanting to wear them more often.

At one time, the bra and panties were more than enough to satisfy my needs, but no longer. I've left town once to go out dressed (very briefly, after dark), and can think about nothing else but doing it again, and going shopping. So, the wig, makeup and everything else that comes with this lifestyle is suddenly thrown into the mix.

This all frightens me a little, because everyone knows the odds of getting "outed" become greater as you buy more clothes, and spend more time dressed. To my knowledge, I'm not out to anyone, yet.

We've had discussions on this board before about stress contributing to the need to dress more often, and I firmly believe this to be true. My mom has become terminally ill over the last year, and it's tearing me up inside. Along with the increasing fear that I'll be "discovered", it's a stressful existence.

I just don't want my parents to ever know about Jenni, especially right now. It would kill them both.

Any advice?

jen

[DonnaT]

My only advice is to just be careful with your dressing up and with going out.

When is it enough?

We are all different and have different needs. So it's impossible to tell you when it is enough.

[Lisa Golightly]

Find yourself a changeaway service in a neighbouring town/city and use their facillities. Least then you'll be in an environment where you can feel safe. Trust me, as you get older you'll find that cd'ing is rather unimportant in the great scheme of things.

[Marla S]

Hm, you are probably right that the stress situation contributes, but I think it might also be growing acceptance.
Growing acceptance produces kind of an inner freedom to explore things more deeply. Something that otherwise would have "prevented" by shame and guilt feelings. At first this might lead to a "rush" of buying clothes, experiment with different styles and just enjoying to dress as often as and as long as possible.
If so, give yourself some time to explore things and learn about yourself. After a while you probalby will step back a bit to a level where your needs and the "official" requirements can be balanced more easy.

[Tiffany 1953]

Jenni, I sympathize with you and am so sorry to hear about your mom. Through the course of my life, my dressing has both increased and decreased according to outside influences. The more stressed Jim became the more Tiffany needed to be out and such. A year ago, I lost my mom and even though she knew of Tiffany, and even confided to me that she always wanted to be a guy, Tiffany went on a spree of needing to go out. It has backed of now and we make occasional plans to go out. Under-dressing is now enough for her. I wish you all the best and E me if you just need a shoulder. I have two. Hugs sister for you are not alone. Tiffany

[Charleen]

Hi Jenni, A few things come to mind reading your post. The stress? yeah. My was sick for a little over a year before she succumbed to cancer in October. Stress in my life? Doctor appointments, chemo weekly, various scans, and then being with her for her last month and a half 'till she died in my arms. Stress? I didn't get to CD very often, but it was a realease for me when I did. Gotta be honest in admiting it was Lily doing all the nursing as Charlie couldn't handle most of it, and this was before I really came to terms with Lily, she was just there when needed. You don't say how old you are, but it appears that for most of us, we become more involved with our feminine self as we get older and need to explore it further. I know that's true in me anyway. Last, no one has to know if you don't want them to. I don't know about you, but I got real good at hiding over the years. I'll keep a good thought in mind for you. Love and xxxx, Lily

[bgirl]

I've experienced that as well. Each time after I thought I was done with this, it would come back even stronger and the bar would raise, I would get scared and purge. Same thing all over again each time. Scince I have come out to my wife and am resisting the urge to deny all this, Things are evening out to an acceptable or tolerable level. I no longer seem to be in such a hurry. I would like to get to know myselves a little better.

[panty-boy]

Jenni, I think I am in the same boat you are. It seems from reading others experiences here, for many, this goes in stages. For me it started with panties. When I was 13 or so, I would "find" a pair and be content wearing them under my clothes. Then I graduated to frilly socks under my pants. After a while, I added girls jeans then up to heels and now years later I have bras and I just bought my first cheap wig. I never thought I would get to this point, but it just seems to build up.

Now, I think I'm getting to the point where I'm going to try to dress to pass. I'm buying more and more clothes and need somewhere to wear them. For me its a mix of a sexual rush and stress relief mixed with a little humiliation of being kind of a sissy.

I have a parent in the same situation, be careful and don't feel guilty.

[Olivia]

No, I don't think there ever is "enough". But that is soooo subjective isn't it? With every new hurdle out of the way, it's only natural to want to try more I think. When is enough enough? In the summer, I dress in my femme clothes every day. To me, it has become almost like not crossdressing at all. Those are just "my" clothes. They are what I wear. As others have pointed out before, it now seems like I'm crossdressing when I have to wear "his" clothes for some reason. There was a time when I didn't really understand that concept, but I sure do now. Olivia