how do you let your fem.side come out and still be male???

[Danielle41]

i ask this question because of my job i can not shave arms,face legs. I did this on hollween and my boss got up set ,because of this I have chose to not come out to them. I need the job BUT also want to be happy and i cant till i Come out all the way. IT has caused a lot of HEAD PROBLUMS. anyhelp is GREATLYAPPRICATEDE

[Stephenie S]

Dear Danielle,

We need some more information. Why can't you shave your face? Do you need a beard for your job? You may not need to shave your arms. Try trimming with a clipper and bleaching if you have really dark hair. Legs can be covered with pants. No one at work knows that I shave my legs, chest, and underarms, because I keep my clothes on at while at my job. Eyebrows can be trimmed very gradually over time and no one will notice.

We have all been through this in varying degrees. There is almost always some answer or other to solve our problems.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Charleen]

Yeah, what Stephanie said. At work, I always wear long pants and sleeves so no one knows I shave. love and xxxx,Lily

[jessicaparrot]

where Iwork they don't care if I shave my arms and legs. They say that I must come to work clean shaven every day
0.02

[NighttimeGirl]

Do you have to wear shorts? because no one has ever mentioned my arms, and i always wear trousers in male mode so my legs are under cover, fair play if you live in a really hot place I can see this being difficult,

dont understand, how can your boss be upset at you shaving, what business is it of his if your hairy or not unless you are promoting hair growth.

Last time I checked it isnt a sackable offence to be hygenic and hairless, your boss is your boss whilst at work, dont let them rule you like that my Friend.

shave what you want and go to work, that would make one hell of a good human rights story "employee sacked because they shaved"

the boss wouldnt want that surely, I am sorry if that seems blunt but that is the only way, I am really frustrated that the boss could say anything for that....

i better go now ggnrr

good luck :love:

[Tiffany 1953]

Greetings Dear Danielle, I have lived for many years in the closet where work is concerned. They are a ruthless bunch and ridiculed to death a true TS. they never let up. So for what I do as far as I go is this. I used to have bushy touchy eyebrows. I have had my hair stylist (she knows) very slowly feminize them with waxing once a month. they are now long and thin and I have her arch them on occasion. Nobody noticed. I wear my fingernails long and have an occasional manicure done. They are just shy of a females sports length and rounded. When I polish them to go out they work for me and I do not have the associated "Fake nail" problems. I trim my body hair with a clipper using a guard so there is some short residual hair. Chest and pits are personal and never exposed. I never wear panties to work because of the physical nature of my employment they may become exposed. I always wear Hanes Socks for Her. They have a pink lettering and it is enough to let me know that Tiffany is still with me.

Having your eyebrows waxed and a manicure are two visits to the feminine world that any male can make now. Just go slow with the eyebrows and the nails. Best of luck Tiffany

[vbcdgrl]

For the life of me, I don't know where your boss gets off telling you how to deal with your body hair. Is this written company policy or you're boss's personal hangup? Either way, it's not right, in my opinion.
I shave my entire body, including my back, legs, arms, chest, and, yes, even my face. Obviously, this is to facilitate CDing, but, I've found it's cooler, too.
I just retired from a defense related job after 30 years, about 10 years of which I've been shaving as above. No one, boss or otherwise, ever said anything to me about my body hair, or lack of it. In fact, I don't think anyone ever even noticed.


Vikki

[Angie G]

Is this really good job can you find one just as good if so i'd find it and tell the first boss a to go do something to himself if you know what I'm saying.
I'm union no way my boss would talk that s_ _ _ !
Angie G.

[tekla west]

Right on Angie! One more reason for unions. AFL/CIO journeyperson here!

[Danielle41]

beard i can but musdash have shaved only for hollween and got picked on a lot so dont realy want to shave it off. On the other hand Danielle REALLY WANTS TO COME OUT!! :D :D :happy:

[Danielle41]

BOTH I WORK FOR A SCHOOL even when i let my hair grow he get the HIGH horse out and starts his s---!!!! thinking about looking for another job that will let me be me.

[NighttimeGirl]

BOTH I WORK FOR A SCHOOL even when i let my hair grow he get the HIGH horse out and starts his s---!!!! thinking about looking for another job that will let me be me.

well good luck which ever way girl but whatever you do you if you stay in that job you cant take anymore from the boss, you have to put him in his place

work to live not live to work!!

go get him Danielle :love:

[Danielle41]

i am also in union teamsters and the shop rep wont do anything because HE dont want to ruffle things up. {BOSSES PET}

[Danielle41]

I want to thank all of you for good advice this has been weighting me down for a long time now and sounds like i know what i ave to do now . find another job or stay and put up with the bulls---!!!!!!!! i dont think so. thanks agine for all your help on this matter.:happy: :happy: :happy:

[DonnaT]

If you don't want to shave your face, then don't. If you don't want tos shave anything else, then don't. If you want to shave, then do. They can't fire you for shaving if there is no written policy against it.

You can still crossdress, shaved or not.

I had a mustache for 25 years and still dressed. Didn't go out though.

Have since shaved and gone out.

[connie rotten]

Hang on to your WD40 and a roll of dukt tape and for goodness sake stay away from pink colored hand tools.

[jai.says]

Danielle,

You're going to have to make a choice. You're boss cannot fire you on the basis simply because you shave. If he does, hire an attorney fast. If you truly want to come out, you will. I worked for a suit and tie company for 2 years -- and I wore women's slacks every day. People noticed, people said some things to me -- but if you really want it, these little problems won't matter.

You also will find confidence in coming out to some close friends who give you strength in their support.

good luck!!!!

[Melissa A.]

C'mon, Danielle, shave your face, if ya want to. You still haven't given one good reason why this should be a problem. You work for a school?? You're a teamster??Jeez I thought you were gonna say you were in a lumberjack union and it was a rule!

I work with teamsters, in a very macho job (few women around) where nicknames and ridicule are common. I remove all my body and facial hair, wear clear nail polish, and both my ears are peirced. Look, I'm not saying you should necessarilly be like me, or do anything that is going to make you perpetually nervous, or uncomfortable. But I will take a risk(since I'm not there and know little about your situation) and say that you are projecting this(at least shaving your face) into alot more than it is. This ain't 1890. It's more than OK to have no facial hair. The other stuff, well if your really not comfortable, then don't do it. But you have not at all convinced me that you shouldn't shave your face if you want to. If there is one-then that must be one heck of a job. Wishing you strength and luck, sweetie.

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[Kelli Taylor]

Hello Danielle,
It makes me very angry to read that about where you work, I mean your boss trying to tell you how to live your life. If what you do on your own time does'nt affect your job performance then it is none of his damn business. Excuse me for using such language, (not very ladylike). You should look for another job that cares about it's people. They also would be losing a really good employee. After all these years I've started associating with others that like me for who I am Not what I wear , even family. GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide. Keep us all informed.

Kelli

[kathy gg]

Ummm....I know this is more 'tg' territory than gg, but I jsut wanted to interject a few thoughts, I hope you don't mind.

Anytime a person starts making drastic changes to their appearance people ask questions. I am not saying it is right and please dont' take my post as agreeing with what your boss said. he does not have a right to tell you what he is telling you. How you modify your body really is of no concern to him. BUT... if I was in your shoes... I would want money to pay the bills, eat, and live. Money = fun money to spend on femme self.

I dont know how easy it is for you to find a job. I am betting if it was you already would have left. So I am guessing you have taken the best job you can find for your skills.

So if you decide to stick with it and keep making money....

Do things gradually. If the union rep is a 'pet' of the jerk then go above him. We are talking about shaving off a mustache. Not dying your hair pink or getting a mohawk.

But I think 'gradual" is something you need to consider. Doing modifications and changes to your appearance over time. Duing things all at one time and then regressing back is what people notice.

At my husbands work he slowly removed his body hair. In time people came and left and the years have passed. To look at a photo from 15 years ago to one now you would see how drastically his body hair has disapeared. But over a 15 year period it is almost unnoticable to those around him. Because it was done slowly and gradually. Jus tlike him growing his nails long and keeping them long. Just like getting his ears peirced. Yeah he probably got teasted for a week, then they moved on to something new to tease someone else about.

Anyway, it is a shame what you are experiecing, but as we all know some jobs are more challening than others when it comes to human rights and self expression. When you choose a career that puts your "personaltiy" at odds with the status quo, you hae to be crafty in your approach to solve the problem.

Good luck

[Dee 1062]

Have you ever thought about finding another line of work....?

[DanielleAnne]

Question: If I was in a union job and had the nerve to want to wear a bra filled out with breast forms on the job could i get tossed? I know i would get heckled from other people that i don't care it is the part of being afraid of being tossed.
danielleanne

[DonnaT]

I think if you caused a distraction at work, then you could get tossed. And it probably wouldn't be hard to prove such a distraction.

[Lanore]

Hello D.
When you introduce your female side to the world, go slow and do a little at a time. Too much is too noticeable. It'll take time but it will be worth it.
Bye for now,
Lanore

[CammyT]

Aloha,
Perhaps your boss is into ummm bears? A lot of us military types (Special Ops) shave our whole bodies, to cut down on body odor. Body builders do it for asthetic reasons, so if you think about, two typically "macho" type men shave their bodies.

[Casey Morgan]

Danielle, have you considered underdressing? I've been at my current job for almost eight years now and I can't say that I have any idea what sort of underwear any of the guys wear. And you can get women's socks that look like men's dress socks (the slightly thicker ones).

I know some of the girls won't underdress but that's what's right for them. I rather enjoy it.

[Tina Dixon]

Strange post, but the circus has a bearded lady so what the big deal:D

[bgirl]

Union Job? 27 years as a Juorneyman Carpenter and never once did I get told to shave or grow a beard. My hair was past my shoulders at one point and as it thined, I cut it all off. Had I been told to grow or cut hair on demand, I would have directed them to press their lips to my please spot, under my back pocket.