Who really changes?

[Rachel M]

I was pondering over the idea of who really changes. As we grow and mature in life there are many factors that make up who we are today. Rachel brings out my inner female side and helps balance me out as the caring and gentle person most know me to be while en drab. As we open our lives to others by outting ourselves, relationships with friends and family seem to change. I feel i am not the one changing. I am still me, the person they have always known, the only thing know is that i have divulged the fact I enjoy womens clothing. Some people I have told had that look of disbelief and began to distance themselves as if I was going to do them some harm. So, who really changes? I would never harm or hurt you as my male self, why is it I get treated as differently no that the inner female is exposed?....hmmm
Rachel

[Teresa Amina]

That look of shock when you tell someone about your inner self is precious! I've only told one "real" person so far and I got that look. It must feel as if the earth has opened up beneath them and the universe itself has changed. You are no longer you but some sort of alien being. But how well does one really know anyone? We cover up real well and are better at it than we think. And those shocked faces- do we know what goes on behind those eyes? Probably some shocking stuff in there too! Life is unfortunately a pretty dishonest game a most of the time.

[Angie G]

Maybe they see you as a threat or maybe they think they will catch whatever it is that makes you dress or maybe they like the idea and are arightend by it.
If only they understood but then sometimes we don't what ya gona do:rolleyes:
Angie G.

[Melissa A.]

I've always maintained that people, in general, will react more negatively to cross dressing than being surprised with the news that a friend or relative is gay, or just about anything. So yeah, they ARE going to change- they way they think of you, the way they look at you, etc. Especially if they had no idea. People just don;t "get" cding, unless they are extremely opened minded. And they don't want to. I mean look at the whole thing-On television, crossdressing is usually presented in the context of a joke, or else we are portayed as dangerous-homocidal maniacs or indegent crackheads or prostitutes. But usually, we are laughed at. Every halloween, millions of guys put on desses,not to look feminine, but to get a laugh. Even most of the real stories about cd's are negative, like that Durst guy that killed his neighbor then went on the lam.
Jeez, bet I'm lifting evertone's mood, huh? Sorry. That doesn't mean that lots of people won't still be your friend or be ok with you being their neighbor. Alot of people understand that it's none of their business and doesn't change who you were before. I'm just sayin' don't be surprised when ya get the negative reaction. Be prepared for it, and don't let your happiness hinge on being accepted. Right now, that's just the way it is. Close friends may eventually come around. alot of mine did. They don't wanna know about Melissa, but they're still my friends. Neighbors and aquaintances that find out? Expect the worst and be happy when you get better than that. A few of my neighbors know and they leave me alone. That's fine.

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[Rickie]

For myself I believe if I came out to others I would change. My persona would be different. My thought, actions, and my relating to them would be different. Then they would have to learn to deal with a new side of me. That they knew nothing about.


"I feel i am not the one changing. I am still me, the person they have always known, the only thing know is that i have divulged the fact I enjoy womens clothing."

By this statment I gleem that as they see it you have changed. This is something you kept hidden. Something they didn't know about you. Should this make a difference in the love for you NO.

But I believe the change is there for everyone concern.

[Jackie-Ann]

I've always maintained that people, in general, will react more negatively to cross dressing than being surprised with the news that a friend or relative is gay, or just about anything. So yeah, they ARE going to change- they way they think of you, the way they look at you, etc. Especially if they had no idea. People just don;t "get" cding, unless they are extremely opened minded. And they don't want to. I mean look at the whole thing-On television, crossdressing is usually presented in the context of a joke, or else we are portayed as dangerous-homocidal maniacs or indegent crackheads or prostitutes. But usually, we are laughed at. Every halloween, millions of guys put on desses,not to look feminine, but to get a laugh. Even most of the real stories about cd's are negative, like that Durst guy that killed his neighbor then went on the lam.
Jeez, bet I'm lifting evertone's mood, huh? Sorry. That doesn't mean that lots of people won't still be your friend or be ok with you being their neighbor. Alot of people understand that it's none of their business and doesn't change who you were before. I'm just sayin' don't be surprised when ya get the negative reaction. Be prepared for it, and don't let your happiness hinge on being accepted. Right now, that's just the way it is. Close friends may eventually come around. alot of mine did. They don't wanna know about Melissa, but they're still my friends. Neighbors and aquaintances that find out? Expect the worst and be happy when you get better than that. A few of my neighbors know and they leave me alone. That's fine.

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

Melissa, you got it right !!!...that's why I wouldn't dare to go out in this small town where I live to disclouse my female persona. There is a dangerous world out there and for the world around where I live, I'm the crazy "gringo"that fought in Nam.

[swiss_susan]

Truth be told neither really changes.

However when you come out to someone, it should be obvious that the real change lies in the fact that YOU have changed their perception of YOU.

Many take the revelation badly, often simply, I think, out of shock.

Personally I have only ever told one person in my life, my SO, and I think I was more shocked by her acceptance than she was by the revelation.

Thus my conclusion is that finding out this kind of information about someone can understandibly change the way you think of them. I am certain if many of the people who know me, knew about me, they would be stunned. And given the general views of CD'ing can we really blame them for their reactions.

Granted this is not ideal but, that is I think, the reality. Within limits ofcourse, there is never an excuse for abusive behaviour. After all many of us have feelings of guilt or remorse about our lifestyle.

Susan

[Jackie-Ann]

I was pondering over the idea of who really changes. As we grow and mature in life there are many factors that make up who we are today. Rachel brings out my inner female side and helps balance me out as the caring and gentle person most know me to be while en drab. As we open our lives to others by outting ourselves, relationships with friends and family seem to change. I feel i am not the one changing. I am still me, the person they have always known, the only thing know is that i have divulged the fact I enjoy womens clothing. Some people I have told had that look of disbelief and began to distance themselves as if I was going to do them some harm. So, who really changes? I would never harm or hurt you as my male self, why is it I get treated as differently no that the inner female is exposed?....hmmm
Rachel

Rachel, I respect those of us that have the courage, the need to go out to the world en femme.In my particular case I rather stay in "my world, with my secret". The only one that knows is my dear wife, for the rest of the world my male persona is out there. My sweet cousin was walking in one of the many busy streets in Montevideo, Uruguay and a couple guys took her purse out of her hands and body. Women, as a rule, are mugged more than men.
We moved out of the U.S. in 2004 and the crime problem compared to here is about the same.I remember my old father was mugged in Miami, NYC and Atlanta.I practice self preservation.Telling "family & friends" about my inner self is not my policy.For them I'm the crazy that fought in Nam and owns an Army Colt .38 and carry it loaded and ready.