Friends

[DonnaG]

As I sit here in my skirt and heels I wonder whether there are others like me?
Being a widow I can dress whenever I feel like it but because of my appearance I can't go beyond the backyard. I do dress well and take care with my makeup and hair but because I'm tall and broad I can't go out. That leads to some very lonely times. And yes, I've contacted Tri-Ess but if your not willing to at least attend chapter meetings they soon lose interest. The internet has not helped either. The only replys I've gotten are from CDs and admirers who are into much more than enjoying the pleasure of putting on lingerie and a pretty dress.
Having been married to a totally unaccepting wife for 30 years I know I shoud be happy just being able to dress but something is missing. When I'm all dressed up I feel so grand and I would love to have someone to talk with who understands. Donna

[oztallulah]

Donna, can relate. I sit fressed up a number of times a week, at the computer, and sometimes wonder why I do it. Easy, because I like doing it and I feel good doing it. I am also limited to the backyard, and even then I have to be aware. I have been out a couple of times in the car, I have an electric garage door so I get in the car before opening it. But, Donna, keep your options open, use this type of forum for meeting others. I would think there are many like us.:happy:

[Jerry]

As a forty-something who's never gone out, I wonder all the time. I consider myself lucky because my wife gives me some time alone. She has no interest, but that's okay. Seems like sharing would be a good thing tho.

[Joy Carter]

Hi Donna a lot of us gurls are just like you I'm planing to go out once the weather cools off I hope I'm not making a mistake. I'm going with other gurls like me (they are pretty compared to me) and I'm sure I will have a good time. Hope you stay here and hope you find a place to be confident In being your self. "One is such a lonely number. "

[Holly]

Hi Donna, and welcome to the forum. Is going to a Tri-Ess meeting or two out of the question? That would be one way to make contact with those who share your interest. And if it's your physical presentation that is holding back from stepping out of the closet, well, I'm over 6'2" in my stocking feet and let's just say that shopping in the petite section is not an option for me. If, as you say you dress well and take care with your hair and makeup, there's no reason that shouldn't be able to go out, should you want to. Honey, please don't think I'm trying to push you into doing it if you don't want to; all I'm trying to say is don't let your fears rob you of your joy. GG's come in all shapes and sizes... surely there is a place for us as well. Best wishes.

[sandra-leigh]

I do dress well and take care with my makeup and hair but because I'm tall and broad I can't go out.

A couple of times this week I happened to see a woman noticably taller than me -- I think she must have been at least 6' 3". I did have a couple of looks as I did think "crossdresser??" but if she wasn't a GG I sure couldn't tell.

Broad... not all that uncommon in these parts. There are several ethnic groups around here that tend towards girth:
- aboriginal
- east European/ Slavic (Ukranian, Russian, Polish)
- east Asian (Indian, Sri Lankan)
- Scottish
- Saxon [I think it is] -- that is, the British "pear-shape"

I'm a mix of Scottish and Ukranian, so I started out dense ("big boned") and added a tendancy towards "stocking up for winter" (shall we say.)

For all of that, I am not the broadest dresser in the local club -- and I'd swear that the broadest one who regularily shows up also has a lot more fun than I do! Attitude, attitude, attitude!


Anyhow, one thing you might consider is Drag. Perhaps it has just been selective attention, but I've noticed that a lot of Drag performers are big people.

[JoAnnDallas]

DonnaG....if you have the time, why don't you come to Dallas, TX in Nov of this year. The "Holiday Enfem event" will be held here. It is four(4) days in which your height will not matter. You will get to meet many CD's, and have a great time. See this web site for details. http://tri-ess.org/hef

[sexy_shannon_19]

[QUOTE=] its all about what is inside and on the inside we all have fem...

[Byllie]

I have a beard, a compromise I agreed to with my wife, so going out is not an option for me. But size? heck, GG's come in all shapes and sizes. I'm a college prof and I can tell you that 23 years of teaching I've seen GG's who are short, tall, slim, heavy, narrow, broad, and everything in between. But it wasn't their boy forms that separated them, appearance wisee, it was what they wore and, more importantly, how they carried themselves. Confidence goes a long way to being successful.

[paulaN]

I have been out. but not very often. I can't do that in my little town.their are a lot of us just like you.

[Mitzi]

Donna G...

First of all, condolences on your loss. No matter what, it has to be devastating to lose someone you've shared your life with for so long.

I can certainly understand your reluctance to expose yourself to possible embarrassment, going out in public. But going to TRI ESS, or any other TG function, is a totally different thing. You may not be the belle of the ball, but you'll certainly be comfortable, if you'll let yourself be. And you'll meet friends. Go ahead and go to one...

Mitzi

[Marla GG]

Hi honey,

Please don't give up hope of finding some understanding friends. My husband and I have met some wonderful girls online who have become good friends. If you are looking for genuine, non-sleazy internet friendships, I'd stay away from chat rooms. Instead, find a few people on this forum (or any other quality CD forum, though personally I think this one is the best!) whose posts you enjoy reading and who seem to have things in common with you. Send them a private message and see if they are interested in chatting and getting to know you better. You can also contribute to the forum yourself and hope that some nice, like-minded people will get in touch with you.

As for Tri-Ess, are you sure you can't go out to the socials? Not every girl at a typical Tri-Ess meeting is petite and passable. As long as you are dressed appropriately you will be welcome. Most chapters also welcome you to come in drab if you are not comfortable going out dressed yet -- maybe you could do that for your first time. Once you go, you might think "if they can do it, so can I!" Honestly, you shouldn't let your height and build stop from going out if that is what you would like to do.

Hugs,
Marla xx

[gwenrob43]

Hello Donna,

Like you I also am mostly confined but for a much reason: we live in a very small rural town surrounded by other small rural towns. It's 45 miles to the next larger city. Going out is difficult for me, I too have to go it alone. I was petrified the first time I did; wish we had a Tri Ess somewhere nearby. My wife knows I dress, but has never seen me - 30 years! Now that I'm retired and she isn't, I dress when she's at work; YES! Feel free to drop me a note anytime, I'll be glad to chat with you. I too am not a skinny mini, but can still dress and make-up well.

:hugs:

Gwen

[Bernice]

I am so sorry for your loss. These are undoubtedly very stressful times for you, while you learn to cope with all this change.

There are many many people here on this forum who have a lot in common with you. Yes, perhaps crossdressing is the one obvious thing we have in common, but there will be other things as well, including a fair number of widowers. Common experiences are key to lasting friendships. So, there is absolutely no reason to "be alone" for very long. :hugs:

[sandra-leigh]

As for Tri-Ess, are you sure you can't go out to the socials? Not every girl at a typical Tri-Ess meeting is petite and passable. As long as you are dressed appropriately you will be welcome. Most chapters also welcome you to come in drab if you are not comfortable going out dressed yet -- maybe you could do that for your first time.

I am not familiar with the culture of Tri-Ess, as that organization does not exist here in Canada.

At the meetings of our local organization, it is not considered important whether a person is Dressed or not. It is much more important to just to show up, interested. There have been quite a few times when I've only been able to pop in for 20 to 40 minutes, completely in drab or with minimal dressing (e.g., possibly just forms); and at most meetings there is usually someone in drab. It isn't a Competitive Dressing organization, it's a social organization, so being there is much more important than looking great.

According to your new member introduction, you are in NJ and are planning to move a bit further east, so unfortunately it's a long way to visit us here (1600 miles!)