need help ( i am hysterical)

[ChrissyGG]

Sorry if my post is all over the place but i am hysterical right now and i cant stop! He ruined my life and i dont know what to do1 Well i known this person since i am 16 over 2 years ago we started dating and he told me about his dressing and i had hard time taking it but because i love him so much i ve decided to embrace it and i really enjoy it now we got engaged in the beginning of this year! Fast forward to now! I ve found out that he is married and not divorced and he wants to dump me because he doesnt plan to leave her and he doesnt care that he hurt me as far as he is concerned i am not the first one and even thou he appreciates that i excepted it he has to leave me because he plans to run for public office this fall and doesnt need me as baggage and he sticked me with all the bills no nothing and not willing giving me a dime! i am hysterical right now i cant even tell my family what happended ia m so used to the lifestyle that i dont think i can have a regular relationship now he is also threatening me that if i tell his wife or his work he would make my life living hell and i have noone to turn to i dont have anything here i am only 24 he is 41. Now he keeps on telling me that he keeps on hurting me i am on a brink on the nervous breakdown i dont know what to do!

[tekla west]

Get a lawyer.
Sue him for breach of contract.
File an affidavit and swear to it, have it entered into the public record as part of the lawsuit.

Sit back and watch the fun. He can't do anything to you, its all on him, and he is dead meat as soon as those papers hit the court. Then find a reporter, and tell him/her everything. In detail. He will not be able to run for dogcatcher.

[gennee]

I agree with tekla. Don't let him hold you hostage. You have a life. Someone like him does not deserve to serve the community.

Gennee


:straightface:

[ChrissyGG]

thank you ladies! I am just in shock now! I cant believe it happened to me! I have no friends in this city no nothing that is why i am taking this so hard!

[AndreaFranklinTG]

i agree with tekla
make his life a living h@#l and dont be afraid he cant touch you emotionally or phisically
i have seen something simillar and it ruinned the guys life cause he was just mean
just dont let him in on what your doing
let him think its over then let the s$%t hit the fan
trust me he deserves it no matter what kind of person he is or no matter what the situation if he did that to you then he deserves it
sorry i get kinda mad when i here anyone is cruel to anyone its just wrong
Panda:hugs:

[dancer1]

Do you want to do something ? are you not a gg , You are strong just missguided, by love.
You will not perish from this but become stronger in reality.
As a cd"s my wife some times understands and sometime she dos not!
But unfortunately i can only be me, and from nadeens, point of view i empatize for your hurt and betrayed feelings, I do not know what i can do to help you, but you are welcome to ask myself and family for help in this trying time thats befor you.
There is always help and answers for everyhing, just have faith and trust, and it will come to you, oh i did say trust even though he abussed your trust you cant abandon that to which you need to get on with your life.
So in closeing please feel free to reply to this and if you need to hear a sound.
Close your eyes take a deep breath and relax, you will hear your heart beat and know that you are still alive, and can always do something.
:love: Nadeen

[Calliope]

Get a lawyer.
Sue him for breach of contract.
File an affidavit and swear to it, have it entered into the public record as part of the lawsuit.

Sit back and watch the fun. He can't do anything to you, its all on him, and he is dead meat as soon as those papers hit the court. Then find a reporter, and tell him/her everything. In detail. He will not be able to run for dogcatcher.

In my opinion, file this one under the graduate school of hard knocks. Clear your psyche ASAP. You need to move on and get as far from this slimer as possible. Revenge will only keep you tied to him, don't let him bog down another second of your life - time is precious.

[jillinla]

I would agree with Daytripper

Move on

anyway - Breach of Promise lawsuits went out with bustles

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you so much! It still hasnt sunk in what happened he told me that over the phone and i am so lost he is my life for so long that i dont even know anything else! U are all truly wonderful and i believe being crossdresser is so unique and so special!

[RebeccaLynne]

Chrissy. we're here for you, relax and take a deep breath. He's no good, that's for sure. Resist the temptation to "get even" or exact revenge, he's not worth it. Forget him; I know it's difficult, but time will diminish the hurt. No matter how devastating this development has been for you, you will recover and be better off without him. You're a worthwhile person, and please know that your future happiness is entirely of your own making. Choose wisely, not all men are scum! Be selective!

[older not wiser]

Hi Chrissy, First of all you must CALM DOWN, I know this is most difficult but you must do it. First of all you MUST see a lawyer!!!, Second when he threatened you did anyone else hear it? Have a tape recorder nearby at all times for when he calls you again TAPE THE CONVERSATION. About sticking you w/all the bills, did you sign any or all loan papers or did he? Please realize that you have recourse here, any newspaper would gladly jump on this story and expose this assh--e for the pr--k he is.
Above all you have friends here, as well as sisters!!!! Pls keep us updated and never, never lose your cool.

Love; BonnieAnne

[tekla west]

I'm not saying she will win, I doubt it. It will total his political asperations, now and forever.

Yessh, you want this guy in office in your town? Running on a "family values" ticket no doubt. Running there with his wife and kids as "A Family Man'? Creeps me out.

I think she should get beyond it, but no one ever gets beyond being threated and then backing down. You carry that stuff with you. So she should get even and then get gone. He left her with all this, and all you can say is "chalk it up to experience sweetheart?" Gee, spoken like a bunch of guys.

Lets see what the GGs have to say. About some guy, twice her age, starting in on her when she was 16 and he was in his late 30? Sounds good? Lying to her about getting divorced, only to dump her, stick her with the bills, and get on with his status sucking life? And no consequences to him? Nah.

What if it was your daughter?

[ChrissyGG]

thank you so much! I cant believe it is happening still i am too numb right now i truly dont understand how can someone can do it to me especially knowing what is like to be rejected i open my heart to him and truly excepted for the female and did everything even agreed for her to get implants! Sorry for being a downer!

[tekla west]

And oh yeah, if he walks on this, what about the next girl, and the one after that? Do you think he will stop? Me either.

Sometimes in life you need to cross some mighty big bridges. Sometimes its necessary to burn them after you. When that moment comes, use lots and lots of gas and make sure they burn to the ground.

[NewbieCD]

Sorry if my post is all over the place but i am hysterical right now and i cant stop! He ruined my life and i dont know what to do1 Well i known this person since i am 16 over 2 years ago we started dating and he told me about his dressing and i had hard time taking it but because i love him so much i ve decided to embrace it and i really enjoy it now we got engaged in the beginning of this year! Fast forward to now! I ve found out that he is married and not divorced and he wants to dump me because he doesnt plan to leave her and he doesnt care that he hurt me as far as he is concerned i am not the first one and even thou he appreciates that i excepted it he has to leave me because he plans to run for public office this fall and doesnt need me as baggage and he sticked me with all the bills no nothing and not willing giving me a dime! i am hysterical right now i cant even tell my family what happended ia m so used to the lifestyle that i dont think i can have a regular relationship now he is also threatening me that if i tell his wife or his work he would make my life living hell and i have noone to turn to i dont have anything here i am only 24 he is 41. Now he keeps on telling me that he keeps on hurting me i am on a brink on the nervous breakdown i dont know what to do!
Take no offense to this plz but nail his panty clad B*lls to the wall and give every one lovely pics to go out on lol.

[ChrissyGG]

thank you so much! I am so glad to be part of this forum!

[jennig]

hi crissy Iam so sorry this happend to you you need to take a deep breath and plan out what you should do for yourself first to help get your head back together. after you take a time out so to speak then you will have a clearer picture on how best to proceed. rember this is not the end of the world I know it feel that way now but this to shall pass keep your head up and take some time for you and rember we are all hear for you.

love and huggs jennig::brokenheart:

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you so much! I do need to clear my head!

[Lawren]

The very first thing I would do is to consult a lawyer. Find out what kind of legal recourse you have and see if you have any real chance of "winning". I might also find out who/where his wife is and let her in on it. I personally would love to hang his "dirty laundry" out to dry in full view of the public so that he will never get anywhere in politics. IF YOU DO ANYTHING, BE SURE THAT IT IS LEGAL AND THAT YOU ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAW!!!! DO NOT TAKE THE LAW INTO YOUR OWN HANDS!!!

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you for the advice!

[tekla west]

She does not need to "win", she just needs to file.

[Bobbie cd]

Hi Chrissy,

Sorry to hear about your plight. This guy is definitely pond scum. There isn't much that you can do about the heartbreak part of it except give yourself time to get over that part.
As for the other, I agree with some of the others that you need some legal advice. First off, did you ever sign any legal documents? (Apartment lease, loan papers, etc?) If not, I don't see how he can stick you with any real financial hurt.

Having grown up in a very small town myself, I know just how well the "good ol' boy" club does at protecting it's own. If he is part of the inner circle, he may well feel un-touchable, but he isn't. Knowing how those small-minded small-town a**holes tend to be, I can understand why he would be worried about his lifestyle coming to light. He would undoubtably try to pass it off as a pack of lies from a neurotic spurned girlfriend, and unfortunately, many of his peers will want to accept that explanation unless you have some facts or even evidence to prove it.

If indeed, as it sounds, you have no friends or family or anyone there to turn to for help, then I don't see much to hold you there anyway, and I would say tell the truth about him and the whole sordid affair (literally), then blow out of that burg with your head held high and move on to bigger and better things.

No matter how you choose to approach this, I have no doubt that you can continue to count on us here for emotional support.

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you for all of the support! I truly need it! I have a year lease that i am stuck with 3 year cell phone contract etc. Also it might not sound much but for me it is a lot since i dont make that much since i ve graduated from college recently. Also since i cant ask family for support i have to get a second job etc to pay bills now!

[Wendi_cd]

I think we all need to calm down and think REAL hard about encouraging someone to 'out' someone else simply to be vendictive.

Think about what you are suggesting the next time YOU and your SO have a heated argument.

Where were your PARENTS when this man twice your age was taking you out?

I'm sorry you were hurt, but guess what, you learned a valuable lesson. Take it, OWN it and move on.

[ChrissyGG]

My father died and my mother abondoned me so i ended up being on my own since 15 years old! I am sorry i wouldnt call it a valuable lesson it is much beyond that!

[Scotty]

I'm thinking you need to turn the tables a bit here.

If it was a mutual agreement and he lied- well then YOU my dear, YOU hold all the cards.

I'm not for ratting out the CD part, but I wonder if his wife knows about it?

Maybe write your thoughts down and seal them in an envelope and give them to a good friend to hold for a few weeks.

THEN - THEN lets get those bills half covered (assuming half are his?)


Question - where was his wife when all this was going on?

Well he lied, and I despise a liar, that's outright lying and now he's scared, so he's going to scare you more.. that has to stop.

You hold the cards here, and that's all you have to say....."Honey, I hold all the cards here, lets get these bills sorted and you can go about your life"......

[kathy gg]

HI..

If you are the same Chrissy I have pmed with....well girl....I am sorry this happened. There are creeps in this world who will say what ever it takes to string women along. They come in all shapes and sizes. I know you were very supportive and very open to new things and this all seems crazy.

Girl how much money are you looking at that he stuck you with? $100? $1000? Depending on what sort of financial burden he placed on you ...welll you might have reason to contact a lawyer.

But if we are talking a small amount, don't get the law involved. As for him running for a public office...ya know.....the net' is a very very powerful tool. I am not saying to "out" this guy, but he decieved you and that should not go unpunished. Sometimes just being "known" as a cheater is enough.

I woudl start thinking of things this way....you are young enough to start fresh. Do you know what a special commodity you have?.....and in this town that is special. You know you are welcome to pm me if you want info on our local scene...I told you a while back that I know that a cool girl would be welcomed with open arms in TO .

But seriously, don't dwell and waste yoru energy on this dweeb. He happened to be a jerk, but not all cd's are like this. And being open to this lifestyle makes you a gem.

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you! I am the same Chrissy! Thank you so much i will definately pm you!

[Breanne]

Sorry you have to bear such bad news, Chrissy. My two cents worth: Take this one step at a time, and the first step needs to be the advice of a good lawyer. You do need to protect yourself and your interests. The lawyer will advise you as to what steps are possible and what the consequences may be. Do not trust the individual who did this to you. He may very well take the first punch so to speak, and ruin your whole life (at least in this town). Lay it all out before your lawyer and follow his advice. It may or may not include exacting revenge (or as someone has put it, nailing his --- to the wall). But again, above all, you need to protect yourself.
Good luck.

[tekla west]

Public office in the United States is PUBLIC. The PUBLIC has a right to know what the PUBLIC officials it elects as its PUBLIC servants are like. If you don't like this, stay out of the PUBLIC arena. Outing someone who is a private citizen is one thing, but for a PUBLIC official, holding a PUBLIC office, and given a PUBLIC trust outing them should be mandatory.

Back in the early 90s I was working in Iowa on a Presidential Campaign. Democratic of course. We tried real, real hard to convince people that the front runner was dangerous. A horn dog with whom the crack of dawn was not safe. We were Shushed, told to be be quite, told it was not polite, told it was none of our business. When our candidate tried to bring it up in the debates he was shut down. The result, well the Repubs didn't care about any of that, and the Clinton Presidency was a total disaster because, as a horn dog, he could not keep his pecker in his pants. Just like we were trying to say.

Sorry, if it was private, then leave it at that (Except his wife has a RIGHT to know). But if he wants to run for office, that's a different deal.

[AmandaM]

I always prefer to protect the crossdresser no matter what.

But this guy is a rat!!!!

If he's a Republican, go to the local DNC, if he's a Dem, go to the local Repubs and tell them your story. :eek:

I'm mostly repub with a little dem myself....

[natasha]

Chrissy,

I feel for you, big time!!!! Since you say he is attempting to get involved in public service, you do have a way to get it out. Even anonmously(sp) contact a newspaper. They would love to hear, and print, pertinant parts of your story. You see, it sells newspapers, and that is what they are all about.

I work in the Public Service field and have been personally attacked by people that only have a half baked story. Headlines do make you "pucker" so to say. At least in my case I was right and the #$%^^$#hole was wrong. It did cost me a bunch in lawyer fees though. Good Luck!!!!!

[Calliope]

I'm all for killing his political career and I'm all for recouping losses.

But, do recall, court cases are a two way street. Chrissy, is there anything you would not like brought up in court? If the answer is yes, may your angry heart tread carefully.

As I see it, the best revenge (in matters of love) is sincere indifference.

And bubble baths.

[noname]

Get a lawyer.
Sue him for breach of contract.
File an affidavit and swear to it, have it entered into the public record as part of the lawsuit.

Sit back and watch the fun. He can't do anything to you, its all on him, and he is dead meat as soon as those papers hit the court. Then find a reporter, and tell him/her everything. In detail. He will not be able to run for dogcatcher.


Well aren't we caring individuals? What he did was wrong, there is no doubt about that. He lied and he was dishonest. But suing? Come on..... Sue for what, my feelings were hurt? sue because I was taken for a ride? plzzz..... Yes it is painful and can be difficult to move forward, but that is life. But sue???? Because money makes it better? Because revenge ease those pains, hardly.

Just to play devils advocate here, before getting engaged did you... Visit his home on occation? Did you meet his family? How about his friends or coworkers? Who gets engaged without meeting a few individuals in the persons life?

I'm going to get heat but shame to everyone here who backs up sueing and revenge. Any decent individuals here?

[vbcdgrl]

You're probably not gonna like this, Chrissy, but, I say, get away from this guy ASAP. CDer or no, he's a low life scumbag. And, since you know something about him that would most certainly end his political aspirations, you have to take his threats seriously. Be prepared to go to the police if he threatens you with harm. You have to put the emotions aside and think rationally about this, OK.

Vikki

[tekla west]

He wants to run for public office, don't you think we have more than enough scum in office as it is? What about protecting people? Standing up for them.

READ IT, he was in his late 30s, when she was 16, (alone, vunerable, underage) that is a FELONY, he is a CHILD MOLESTER, you support that? At the very least he is a sexual predator, for sure about that. And - dollars to doughnuts - he will run some conservative, family values stuff. Great.

As for me, no, I'm not nice. I'm a bitch. I like being a bitch. But I'm also a parent, and I'm protective. I HATE seeing people who SHOULD know better take advantage of others.....

What, here is this little girl, all alone, and he is in his 30s, college degree, perhaps a JD, or MBA too? Likely. Established. But can't induldge his little proclivity, and here is this little girl. When it becomes inconvenient its good bye baby. Disposing of people who you have been using when it becomes inconvenient is sick.

I'm not going to give the whole Grapes of Wrath speach here, but....

I'm shocked to see all the support this guy is getting just because he likes to wear panties or something.

RIGHT IS RIGHT, WRONG IS WRONG!

He is dead wrong. In his first action, in continuing the affair, in dumping her, in lying to his wife, and then in trying to run for office without his conduct being known.

and no, I don't care at all about men like this. If I saw him in the road the only skid marks would be where I slammed on the brakes so I could shove it into reverse to run over him again and make sure he is dead before he does this to the next girl. And the next. And the next.

Decent individuals speak truth to power and defend those without power. Men though, tend to support the male perogitive, ain't that the truth.

If you ever wonder why someone like Camille Pagila would say "I don't have buried anger against men. Because my anger is right on the surface." you don't have to go any further than this to figure out what she means.

How like a guy to say "Awe honey, get over it." Which, I'm sure, is what he said to her. She needs to quote Courtney Love and say "Live Through This."

At the VERY LEAST, his wife should know. She deserves to know. She is at risk as a matter of fact sleeping with this man as he sleeps around. If you were married to him, wouldn't you want to know? Just so you could pack, grab the kids and leave?

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Chrissy
I know you are very angry
be careful, yes this guy it a complete ass****
Consult a lawyer if the sum of money involved is big enough to be worthwhile chasing.
As for his political career I would be careful for your sake. You have to weigh the public right to know with the spotlight that may fall on you. Depending on where you are he may have committed an offence.
Most of all tell him you will not be held hostage to his wishes.

[racquel]

I think you know what you need to do.Other girls here have said it better than I can but I agree that you need to calm down and move on.Don't get tied down in a war with someone more powerful than you,you may destroy his political aspirations but he may ruin your life.You know how nice most cross dresser's are and there are many looking for an understanding life mate so look around.Most are not like this scum and you know that.
Move on and get the best revenge,be happy.:love:

[Lawren]

Chrissy

My heart really goes out to you. You are truly caught in a tricky situation and have some tough choices to make. I hope they all work out reasonably well for you.

One quick question. Whereas he is considering public office, is he in ANY legal profession? If he is then he could very well know just how far he can push things and still stay out of trouble. That could be VERY bad for you.

It has been suggested that you "leak" the story to the press. That may be your best option. After all, the press and politicians alike are great at tearing people to shreads by digging their skeletons out of the closet. If you do leak the story, tread very carefully as it may backfire on you.

It has also been suggested that you quietly leave town. Also good advice but it may be difficult to get far enough away from scum like him, with political aspirations and/or connections, to be safe from his vengeance. I think I would leave town first, consult a lawyer, then, (with legal advice behind you), consider leaking the story.

At any rate, I think something should be done to stop this guy from continuing to treat peolpe like he treated you. If nobody stops him it will go on and on and will get progressively worse. How many other victims are there before you and how many will follow?

[Lawren]

READ IT, he was in his late 30s, when she was 16, (alone, vunerable, underage) that is a FELONY, he is a CHILD MOLESTER, you support that? At the very least he is a sexual predator, for sure about that.

Tekla

In most states the age of consent is 16 and she was a willing participant. She ahs very little, if any, case there.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Chrissy,

I agree, file this under the school of hard knocks and get on with your life.

IMHO, unless you are being threatened financially or physically you need to move on. Revenge is not a good antidote. Try to stay above this and don't sink to his level.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[DonnaT]

I had the same thought originally, but after reading it again, it sounds like they started dating two years agoe when Chrissy was 22. They met when she was 16, and Chrissy didn't mention dating at that age. But if they did date and had sex, then either Tekla or Lawren could be right.


READ IT, he was in his late 30s, when she was 16, (alone, vunerable, underage) that is a FELONY, he is a CHILD MOLESTER, you support that? At the very least he is a sexual predator, for sure about that.

Tekla

In most states the age of consent is 16 and she was a willing participant. She ahs very little, if any, case there.


Well aren't we caring individuals? What he did was wrong, there is no doubt about that. He lied and he was dishonest. But suing? Come on..... Sue for what, my feelings were hurt? sue because I was taken for a ride? plzzz..... Yes it is painful and can be difficult to move forward, but that is life. But sue???? Because money makes it better? Because revenge ease those pains, hardly.

I'm going to get heat but shame to everyone here who backs up sueing and revenge. Any decent individuals here?

I'd agree, BUT the guy has threatened her if she exposes him.

In such a case, not only should she see a lawyer about filing suit, but she should write a letter and have it notorized for the lawyer to hold in case anything happened to her. A copy should be given to the district attorney as well.

She may want to get a protective order as well, to keep this guy away from her.

Then, if it were me, I'd call his wife and tell her that he's been cheating on her for the last two years.

[StephanieH]

I'm not one to step into other people's business, but since this is posted looking for advice, I'm going to offer advice. I can't believe some of our friends here advice letting this jerk go! You said you weren't the first, if you let him go without any penalty, you will not be the last. This guy is an absolute SOB, regardless of whether he's a CD or not. Get a lawyer, if you've got photos, make a lot of copies. Get the money he owes you first, then RUIN him - crucify him. Duct tape him naked, face down, to a block of dry ice; nothing's too good for this guy. If he's wanting to run for public office, as a guy who's somewhat in the public light myself, YOU now have the power to destroy him and believe me, he KNOWS this. YOU have the power now, NOT HIM. If you let him skate, he'll continue to lie to his wife, cheat on her, and hurt other women. Yes, this is a learning experience, but if this bum doesn't get what he deserves, you're going to have to live with whatever happens to someone else down the line. Good luck boo, punish this jerk, then move on to someone who's worth your affection. And never settle for "good enough" - I've always beleived those who refuse to accept anything less than their ideal will very often get it. 0.02

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you everyone so much! To clarify we havent had any sexual contact until i was 22 as far as the work he does he is in legal field!Also the problem that everything is since he decided to run for office he decided that i wouldnt be good enough in case if someone finds out etc. I ve trusted him because i ve been to his work tons of times also he told me that he is single and that i am the only one that he found that he loves and i am his soulmate and that we will be together forever etc. He knows that i ve been hurt in the past and he said he wouldnt do anything to hurt me. Then we got engaged! This is the today pretty much. He is trying to tell me get out of my life think about my children and my career you are young you got screwed over no biggie not the first not the last everyone got over it so will you! I only care about my children and their future. If you go and tell my wife i will make your life living hell!

[KathlyLC]

Got any pics, I say smoke his a$$. Do not consider it as back stabbing its really justified payback to a slug. I wold personally play it out to the max...A few phone calls to his wife, perhaps a few phone calls to the party chair he is running for, a bunch of phone calls to the opposite party he will be running against, I say make his life miserable as can be....and a few pics would be of imense use........yea, you can say I am vindictive. Turning the other cheek is ok for some things, but all out payback is faster and usually brings much more satisfying results.

[bgirl]

We all seem to react as if the SOB had done this to us. I think we have some residual hostilities. I would suggest you step back a little. Action in the heat of the moment is never thought out well and often ends with personal regrets. I do have a suggestion by way of answer to his threat; say "It wont be necessary for me to tell your wife or anybody else as long as YOU don't make MY life a living hell." It does still make you let time do its job for your own heart. The only help I can really offer is to listen and it would seem there a many others who are offering as well. I wish you well. Beth

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you!

[Tamara Croft]

I ve found out that he is married and not divorced and he wants to dump me because he doesnt plan to leave her So, if he's married, then the following quote makes NO sense at all +?
i open my heart to him and truly excepted for the female and did everything even agreed for her to get implants! So, you agreed that she/he could have implants correct? but if he's married, what did his wife say to that then +?

Sorry, but something just isn't adding up here :strugglin

[ChrissyGG]

I didnt know he was married period he lied about everything!

[kristytv]

i too would like to see this clown nailed , but for your own peace of mind do you what you feel is best, but either way get on with your life, id love to meet somone like you who is understanding of our lifestyle , kristy

[ChrissyGG]

Thank you so much! I am just in rough place right now hopefully i will feel better soon right now everything is a mess!

[SherryLynn GG]

I say get on with your life and forget about him....Men lie to women everyday, women lie to men everyday....you cant go around sueing every person that lies to ya or makes a promise but doesnt keep it...and I know this may not go over well but if his name isnt on any of the bills then how in the world could the courts make him pay?? Just because she said he said he would?? Bottom line if she took out a cell phone with a contract and her name is the only one on there then sorry its hers, im sure the same goes with other bills, itd be her word against his...Bad relationships happen everyday, women & men get used everyday, people lie about being married everyday....its life...I know its hard and I know you wanna get back at him, but honestly outing him to the world isnt gonna make this any less painful....now I do agree that if he's threatening you with harm then contact the police, get a restraining order or whatever, otherwise just forget about him...move on....I dont wanna come across as harsh or anything but it is my opinion :)

Oh and if I did anything, id contact his wife and let her know what he's been doing....she deserves to know she's married to a cheater....as far as the cding, I dont think that is the issue here so I dont see a reason to even out that part...my opinion again, im sure others wont agree with anything ive said here but hey, we're all different...ive been hurt and used by men as well but I never sued them cause they lied to me, I just moved on with my life

[Dixie Darling]

Chrissy,

I can't add anything to the good advice which others have already given you other than to give you my opinion.

Contrary to what this low-life might think, YOU are the one who is holding all the cards and as such you have the ability to make or break him. If you have incurred expenses that were at his instance I would USE those cards to demand restitution for the expenses you've incurred. As far as outing his crossdressing to the public, all that would appear to do for the rest of us would be to give us another black eye and reinforce the public's opinion that we're all just like he is. So unless it became absolutely necessary for you to use exposure against him to make him reimburse you for the money you've spent on his behalf, it would be better for the rest of us to let it remain a secret.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[SherriePall]

Chrissy -- Aside from all the advice you have been given, I must underline what my namesake SherryLynn GG wrote about his being CD and not evening out the score on that one point. Please don't out him for that! He may be the rottenest person on the face of the earth, but if you out him for being CD, what does that do to the rest of us?
You'll be saying, "On top of all the terrible things he has done, he is a crossdresser to boot!" That's putting crossdressing on the level of all the terrible things one person can do to the other. That's putting CDing up as something to be ashamed of. Something to scorn and mock and make fun of.
Please, Chrissy, keep that in mind if you take on the lowlife. Attack his faults, but don't equate his CDing with his lying, cheating, etc.

[Bonnie D]

Chrissy,

My biggest fear is for your safety. If you expose and destroy him he will have nothing better to do than to come after you for revenge. Secondly, there are usually ways of getting out of contracts which can be cheaper than staying in them, ie. penalty fees.

He should not be allowed to run for public office and if he can be stopped without your name being tagged to it in any way, then go for it. It will save others.

That's what I liked about the old television program, "The Equalizer". He could always help people who have been taken advantage of by punishing the scum and protecting the victim. Most people he helped were helpless due to fear and couldn't pay for professional help. But then 'the equalizer' was only a tv show. The police and the law can't often protect you until you have been attacked or killed, then it's too late.

There are many very nice men out there who would treat you respectfully. The problem of course is finding them. If you enjoy the crossdressing male then I'm sure you can get lots of advice on how to meet them from people here.

By the way, he isn't a member on this or any other TG site that you are aware of, is he?

Bonnie

[Julie York]

There's a bit of information missing here.

Given that you could seriously screw his life up with one well aimed phone call...What do you think he could do to "make your life hell" ?

[tekla west]

There are two parts to this deal, so lets separate them.

First is the human aspect.

OK, cold hard facts here. Ask yourself the following questions.

Moms and dads, if your 22 year old daughter brought home a 39 year old lawyer and said "He's my boyfriend." What is your reaction?

What if you knew the whole story, which is that he is not only 39, but married, and took advantage of her in a vulnerable state so he could satisfy his kinky desires? Dads? Does he even walk out of your house?

He dumps her, leaves her with bills that he has a much easier time paying - being a lawyer and all - then her, so he can run for public office? You OK with that treatment for your daughter? Do you tell her to "just get over it"?

All I ask of you is to put the panties away for a second and ask the simple, basic, human question. WHAT IF THIS WAS YOUR DAUGHTER?

OK, that is the human part. Sad, but even in here we know a lot of people doing this type of stuff, lying to wives, having secret lives and all that. So the sympathy for him is not entirely unexpected.

What bothers me though is the total failure to see the higher, and bigger reality. And it goes like this.

Its the public part. First, there is aspect of Public Service. Don't we have enough of these types in office already? Don't want to put our community in a "bad light"? Do you think that he is going to be a stand-up guy in office and work for transgender rights? Anyone? Didn't think so. I bet he is the FIRST guy out at the country club to make fun of crossdressers. Anyone doubt that? And we need that?

Second, and this is huge, and real. What if someone else knew? And I'm sure that someone does. Someone saw his car, he is on tape in the stores where he bought the stuff, whatever. Could he be blackmailed? Sure, its the perfect set-up. Do we need public servants that are open to being blackmailed? If he is the district attorney does corporation X use that knowledge to evade criminal charges for dumping toxic waste in your community? If he is a mayor or council person (or an assessor), do they use that to get a "special" deal on their tax rate? If he is the sheriff, do people use that so they can run a meth lab in your town?

That is what I worry about, because it happens all the time. That is why I was (and am) so vehement that under NO circumstances should such a person, with such a non-functional moral compass ever be elected to a public trust. That is beyond this poor girl. This is all of us. This is about the very fabric of our communities, our society, our political system.

Because, that meth lab is down the street, is it your kids who start doing it because there is so much around? The toxic waste, is it your grandkids who are born with birth defects because of environmental factors? The tax deal, is it your kids that have to go to community college because your taxes are so high you can't afford to sent them to State, while the corporate executives send their kids to the Ivy League and Seven Sisters because they have made so much money?

Do you think that scene in The Godfather where they make it look like the Senator from Nevada killed that prostitute was made up, whole cloth in Francis Ford Coppola's head over coffee at Zoetrope Studios? Or did it reflect a reality that has occurred again and again? And in this case, as in most such cases, they don't have to fake anything. One picture (or as Bill Clinton would be happy to tell you, one little blue dress with a certain stain) is enough.

My first advice was simply "Get a lawyer." Breach of contract might be quaint, but it can still be entered, and entering the charges in the public record is what I was after. A restraining order would be just as good, as it would have to list why he is being restrained. Same effect on his political aspirations. I never said, or implied, that she would win, I doubt it. It would cook his goose however.

And in real life there is no equalizer, but there is the law. The law is her protection here. If she were to get all this on record, his chances of threatening her are greatly reduced. If anything would happen to her, where would they look first?

Finally, to the GGs, to the wives (or husbands even). Do you want to know if your sexual partner is out sleeping around? Yes, there are the vows and all that. But beyond that, what is he/she bringing home with them? Want me to list them? Sure. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis, Vaginal infections, Genital Herpes, Genital Warts (HPV), Hepatitis B, and HIV/AIDS. Quite the list of special anniversary presents ain't it? And if not from this girl, well, you think he is only cheating once, with one person? Nah, me either.

[myMichelle]

Chrissy:

I sincerely hope you read every single word in all of Telka's posts. I sincerely hope you take them to heart.

[Shelly Preston]

I am closng this post as it is begining to get out of control,

There is no more information to be gained from keeping it open