Life conflicts

[Aimee]

Hi everyone,

My name is Aimee and I'm a 19 yr old guy who has had a desire to be a woman for a long time. However I've had many doubts and still don't know if I really am Tg or not. I think I'm Bi sexual althought I've never had any experiences with a man, I've crossdressed in secret since I was 13 and even bought some clothes of my own. However I go through these periods of rejection where I throw everything away and chastise myself for wanting something I can never have or pretending to be someone I'm not. But no matter how many times this happens I am always drawn back, despite my fears. I talked to a friend about these things and he introduced me to a dom in my area who would be willing to help me and to work through my first experiences with a man, and I really need to know if this is who I am... But I have a girlfriend, and she doesn't know...I don't waht to tell her I'm Bi or a Tg and then find out I'm not especially because I love her and we've been together for some time now. On the other hand I could experiment without her knowledge and find out about myself before telling her if that is what I want, but the thought of cheating on her horrifies me. Please I really love this girl but I know I'll be stuck in this never ending cycle if I don't get some answers, can anyone help me?

Love,
Aimee:nailbiting:

[Sharon]

Hi Aimee, it's nice to have you join us. :happy:

It's impossible for us to tell you who and what you are, of course, so all I can suggest is to try to let go of your fears and really think hard about what you are feeling. It's a tough thing to ignore society's prejudices and ignorance about the lifestyle you are a part of, but it is truly the only way that you can find out what your needs and desires are.

I'm not sure seeing a dom is the best way to initially explore your desires. although, at some point, that may be a way for you to go. A dom by definition is going to tell you what to do, but this is something I feel is best explored in a more intimate and self-actualizing manner. You may be nineteen and an adult, but you are also still easy prey for the more experienced and, potentially, nefarious segments of society, those who will put their needs before yours.

You don't say where you live, but there should be support groups or gender therapists within a reasonable distance. And more specific questions in this forum and similar ones will give you many answers, one or two of which may sound "right" for you.

As for your girlfriend, well, that's a call only you can make. Whether you tell her about yourself is your business, but I'm a firm believer in honesty when a relationship develops into something potentially longlasting. Keeping a secret like yours is difficult and stressful when you are planning to spend your life with someone, and, at that point, it's best your partner knows everything about you. She may actually surprise you by trying to understand what is is you are feeling. If not, you need to wonder if she's the right person for you to be with.

If you are gay, bi, or straight, there is only one way to really find out, just know that you need to be careful and keep your wits about yourself. Only do what you are comfortable with, and don't be afraid to step back and say you're not ready for something, or that you are having second thoughts about what you are attracted to. And don't equate your gender questions with sexual preference -- one doesn't necessarily influence the other.

So tell us a bit more about yourself, and try to ask more specific questions -- we are here to try to help.

[Angie G]

HI Aimee welcome to the family relax and enjoy your stay.
Dressing don't mae you gay or bi or eneything it may be you just like women.clothes you may be putting more then there is into it you got a gf you love I don't think your gay or whatever :hugs:
Angie G.

[Kimberly]

For a start... sexuality isn't black and white. I'm grey in many shades, (depending on the time of the month, the cycle of the moon, or whether cows are laying down, meaning it's about to rain!) So don't worry too much about it.

If you might think you're girlfriend will understand, you may be able to go on this journey together, and discover who you are.

More importantly - you are you; Whatever side of whichever fence you may or may not be currently sitting on.

(What a get out clause!!)

[Michelle Ellis]

Hi Aimee :) I can't help but agree with Sharon on this, seeing a Dom is not a good first step... almost sounds as if your friend is setting you up for something unpleasant in an attempt to scare you.

Regardless, have fun here, lots of good stuff! Make some friends, take your time :)

M

[Aimee]

Thank you all sooooo much!!!
I've finally found a group that understands me and these desires I have and... are even concerened for my development :hugs: I can't tell you how much this means after all this time... maybe I finally can find out who I am and how I fit into this crazy world. I may not be an attractive girl yet but I'm going to activly start working twords it instead of repressing. I know I can count on all of you and for that I am forever grateful.

Thanks Again for such a warm welcome

love
Aimee

[RyanWearsThongs]

hi aimee, im preety much in the same boat as u here, same age, same mind- in the way that i hav a go at myself for it but still come back. i did however talk to my parents, it was wen i had a fetish to wear female lingerie/ underwear all the time, they took me to a head doctor and allowed me to decide, i wore thongs to them knowing, i told em, it was a comfort thing, as this was what i was going to do, however they had a problem with me wearing feminine, pink, frilly underwear, they said they couldnt understand that if it was just a comfort thing, so i told em id stop, i have stopped wearing but i realise now that i wore em to feel like a girl and now all my old feelings about wanting to have srs are coming back, i just dont know, i do feel i should have been born female, i have alotta characteristics, mentaly and psyically about it. but im thinkin, il just try to deal with it as im sooo young, and if its still what i really want wen i move out and reach 23, then thats what im gunna do.
i hope things work out, i really feel your pain girl. xox