Shopping should be fun!

[dee-liscious]

I'm sure it happens to us all....
I desperately want to buy a few new femme items, namely new heels, hosiery and underwear (the old faves!) I always manage to freeze when shopping and feel the whole world is looking at me!! Lingerie is easy as I can use the 'its for my wife/girlfriend' line but how on earth do you buy stilletos and hosiery confidently. I do manage it but often cant get out of the store fast enough! (could never try on though). Purchase through mailorder isnt really an option so I am stuck with the face to face purchase. I love shopping but its so hard!! I deseperately want a new pair of 4" sexy heels and cant seem to manage it. How do you girls cope?....Im sure we all go through it! (advice welcome!)

[Ann Craven]

Go to a town where you're not known. Avoid eye contact.

Ann

[sparks]

It never gets easier for me anyway. I jsut grab what I want and go for it. If I'm feeling pluckie I try and feak out the SA a little just to even the ground some.

[noname]

I dunno about heels, but I was in penny's the otherday and I said to the sales person. Do you have womens converse in large sizes? Because I saw some really cool green converse, but all the stores I've been to only carry them in small sizes in the womens section. He didn't bat an eye or think anything of it. Of course it was for converse shoes though. It's not that coverse doesn't make large sizes, stores just don't carry them. Shame, cause I would probably have serveral pair of their shoes now. Yeah I can order from the website for something stupid like 50 or 60 bucks a pair, but those are not 50 dollar shoes.

[Karren H]

Its basically easy!! They are selling. And you are buying. That's it! Next question! Hehe


You shouldn't feel as though you have to explain yourself and your purchases to anyone, I don't! If I want to try on something I just do it. Usually in the mens dressing rooms. And shoes, I shop at the places where all the shoes are out in racks (ok so I'm cheap!!) And try on heels right there in my business suit. If your embaraced, take them over to the mens isle and when no ones looking then try them on!! Easy.


And I'm willing to bet you that they will take your money.... I almost gaurantee that!!

Now be gone and get out there and pump up the economy!!!

Love Karren

[dee-liscious]

Thanks for your advice! I picked up some lovely heels today (off the rack!) but just couldnt make that walk to the sales assistant....Im a coward and now Im sat here shoeless!!

[Karren H]

Go to a town where you're not known. Avoid eye contact.

Ann

Another town is fine but avoiding eye contact makes it look like your hiding something. I try to make contact with all the sales clerks and the adjoining female shoppers. And smile when they look at you. Look like you belong there, because you do!! Strike up a conversation! "Where did you get that cute skirt?". Or "have you seen any teal tops in a size medium?". Makes it more fun when you get others involved in your shopping adventure!!

Love Karren

[Michelle Ellis]

You've just got to take control of your fears and insecuritys... Oh wait... no, that's my line :p

Um, Sounds like you're already done this more than I have. Yeah, the whole world is looking at you, everyone is holding their breath to see if you really do grab that bra off the rack. And if you do watch out! The world may stop spinning and everyone will get thrown off into space due to momentum. You gotta be careful! :p

M

[Karren H]

Thanks for your advice! I picked up some lovely heels today (off the rack!) but just couldnt make that walk to the sales assistant....Im a coward and now Im sat here shoeless!!

Awwwwwww. Well on the positive side, look at all the money you saved!! :(:(:( Do I have to come over there and take you by the hand and show you how to shop?? Hehehe. Its just female instinct!! Dressed or not!

Well, Try again tommorow!! I know you can and will do it!! And then you'll wonder why you waited so long.

Love Karren

[Michelle Ellis]

Thanks for your advice! I picked up some lovely heels today (off the rack!) but just couldnt make that walk to the sales assistant....Im a coward and now Im sat here shoeless!!

Well... don't take it too hard... couple weeks ago I made several failed attempts and wound up beating up on myself for it :( the next weekend I just went out of town and did it! I bet you'll get there :)

Oh, Karren, your Shop-Fu is Strong! You can always come and teach me :D

M

[Jasmine Ellis]

just go into the shop see the shoes you like make sure they are in your size go to the sales girl hand them over pay you money and leave with shoes in bag.

[Wendy me]

how i useto do my shopping go look sweat ,shake and leave....not a lot of fun ....


how i shop now go look find what i want pick it out walk up to check out pay and enjoy......

now what changed?? i soon found out if i did not just do it go shopping and buy things i would end up being a naked crossdresser .... after you come to grips with the silly idear that everyone is watching you and thinking omg there is a guy buying girly things for himselfe ..... fact is no oner cares and most don't even give it a second thought .....

give your selfe a mission to buy a pair of shoes ... go in ask for helpe if you want pick out the shoes bring them up to pay and ask for a gift recipt ... soon you will just be out shopping and not even give it a thought.....

[Charleen]

Oh Yeah, Shopping's a blast. So what if people look? Do I care what goes through the minds of the unwashed? NO! they don't know me and I couldn't care less. I've bought just about everthing, and to tell you the truth, I get a kick out of some of the ol' girl SAs at Wally world as they get so nervous that they shake when ringing me up.:D I just say thanks, and go on my way. If they tell Pa about me when they get home from work, then I look at it as a public service as I have brought some excitement into their ordinary lives. As far as buying hose, I think that every married man has bought stockings at some point in his life, so that's no sweat. Shopping, gotta love it! Love and xxxx, Lily

[Calliope]

Another town is fine but avoiding eye contact makes it look like your hiding something. I try to make contact with all the sales clerks and the adjoining female shoppers. And smile when they look at you. Look like you belong there, because you do!!

Ultimately, shopping in your town will be more convenient and finding the friendier clerks will make shopping more and more pleasant in your future. (Easy to say, I know.) Bottom line: the reservations are in your head, most stores and clerks don't care.

[crusadergirl]

I still Have a hard time shopping for female clothes mostly just whwn the store is real busy. If theres nobody around are theres just a few ppl there i will buy stuff. I'm not as scared to shop as i use to be it gets easier the more you do it. I just have a hard time finding what i want.

I'm sure people see me but some of you are right they probably don't care.

[vbcdgrl]

I used to go out to various mall stores, in drab, to buy my femme items, including "intimates" and stockings/pantyhose. I did it, but it wasn't fun. Stressful is what it was. No one ever said anything to me, but, still...... Never bought any shoes because the cute ones were never there in my size(11W).
You don't say why internet shopping(mail order) is taboo, but, as for me, that's the way I do 90% of my shopping now. There's a shoe outlet out there, Zappos.com, that has hundreds of cute styles in "larger" sizes.
My next challenge will be to go shopping en femme. Still working up the courage, and, I'll have to work on my femme voice.
I guess my advice is just keep cool, pick your item, pay for it, and leave. Usually, the SA will put your items in a bag, right? You can then relax, and take your time leaving the store/mall.

Vikki

[gennee]

I just be myself. i browse the women's section and am a regular at a few places. I'm cool :cool: and collected because I try not to draw attention to myself.

Gennee

[Adrienne Heels]

Just be confident and act as you belong there. No one will bother you or probably even notice you. I try on shoes a lot and never have an issue with the SA's. But if I do feel uncomfortable in a store, I just leave. There are lots of other places to spend my money. So just go for it!

[Bobbie cd]

It is hard sometimes to get past the fear that the whole world is watching you, that someone will be thinking "look at that pervert looking at women's shoes, panties, bras, etc.", but like many others have posted, most people are not really paying any attention to you. I find that if I just walk into the stores and go right up to what I am looking for, no one pays any mind at all. Last night, on the way home from a friends house (learning to shoot craps, watch out casino! LOL), I stopped off at our local Wal-Mart Hypermart, walked straight back to the women's shoe dept., and there was a pair of black patent leather sling-backs in size 12 just calling my name.

To make a long story short, I grabbed them off the rack, walked up to the register, paid and walked right out with them. (Ok, once in the car, I had to take off my running shoes and stick my painted toes right into those heels to drive home.):D

If I can work up the courage to do that, I am sure that you can do it too. You just have to want the shoes badly enough to get past the block in your own head!

[Stephenie S]

Dear Dee,

Listen to what EVERY one who answered your post has said. JUST DO IT. No one gives a rats' a*s what you are doing. You are shopping. Everyone in the world does it. It's not wrong, it's not evil, it's not sick, it's not imoral, as a matter of fact, it's a LOT of fun. Be careful you don't get hooked because it can get pretty expensive.

Don't waste ANY time or effort making up a silly story about "why" you are shopping. Nobody cares! And it just calls attention to yourself as someone who must think they are doing something wrong. SA can see through those silly stories like water.

Let me see if I can construct an analogy to help you see this. When a GG goes to the auto parts store (guy territory) to buy a wrench to fix the faucet, do you think she makes up a silly story about how she is buying it for her brother? father? unkle? "You know, hee hee, I'm really buying this for my brother!" Of course she doesn't! OK, maybe that's not an intimate article of clothing. So how about this. A young mother goes to the sports shop (guy territory) to get her 8th grade son a jock strap. Does she make up a silly story about who she is buying it for? No, she just buys it. Why? because NOBODY CAREs who she is buying it for!!!

The store is there to sell stuff. That's how they pay their bills. They don't care who buys the stuff. They want you to buy 100 pairs of shoes! They want you to try on every pair in the store and buy them all. Buy something and you are their best friend.

This is the idea behind shopping. They WANT you to buy. When you have this concept firmly in your mind, everything becomes much easier. "Who is that guy in the bra section?" "I dunno, but lets hope he BUYS something". That's the way it works.

My, my, I can carry on about this, can't I?

But, please don't think you have to build up your courage to buy something. Buying stuff is easy. Like at Payless, go to the women's section, pick out a pair of shoes, sit down, try them on, take them to the register, pay, and go home. Or keep shopping.

When you are more relaxed, you understand this perfectly. When YOU go to buy a wrench, you don't wonder if the guy next to you cares. Of course you don't. It's the same everywhere. Just because it's a pair of 4" heels instead of a wrench, the concept doesn't change. The change is only in your mind. You can get past this. Try!

OK, enough already, Steph!

lovies

[sandra-leigh]

I always manage to freeze when shopping and feel the whole world is looking at me!!

I had it easier, because I used to shop for my wife a fair bit. I discovered about 15 years ago that I have a fairly good eye for buying women's clothes, so for several years before I started CDing, I was hanging around discount stores, looking through the racks, keeping an eye on fashion. I really was buying for someone else :) And my wife appreciated it, as I would find the nice things that she did not have the patience for.

All that shopping contributed to my starting to CD, as sometimes my wife wouldn't wear something I bought, and I would start wondering what it would look like being worn, and volunteered myself to model it to see the look.

And yes, in my pre-CD days, I did buy panties, and sometimes bras, for my wife; I got to know bra styles better than the young SAs.

My wife is more of an impulse shopper than I: wonder in to an expensive store, buy something, don't buy much else until the next mini-splurge. I'm much more methodical, looking through the racks at various stores and cross-checking styles and prices and going back for what I liked best. I am more impulse when I am buying femme for myself -- but on the other hand, I am more up-to-date on what is in the market, so if I see something nice and a bit different, I don't need to go around checking to see what else is like it.

Incidently, not once during that time did someone address me as if I were buying for myself, but now-a-days, it is relatively uncommon for a SA to make an overt assumption that I'm buying for someone else. It's probably that body-language thingee that some people mention :)

Anyhow, if there is a practical message here, it is that you can always go in and browse and figure out what you like, narrow down choices, and then for your real buying, focus on those choices. Get the uncertainty out of the way first: when you know specifically what you are trying to choose between, then you are going to speak with much more confidence when you ask to try things on.

[Deanna2]

I really really love to shop and wander through the racks for ages. What scares most CD's is the buying part, particularly if you have to stand in a queue with your very lacy item of whatever. I've generally found that most of the queer looks, if any, come from women in the queue with you. The sales person is just ringing up another sale and is merely waiting to go break or knock off. Apart from the obligatory greeting they are all trained to give the only other comment is whether or not you have a loyalty card. Most times the buying part takes less than 30 seconds.

[Tanya K]

Do what I did Hit a bar right next to a mall have a few and just do it:D Or just find a small Lingerie shop scope it out when no 1s there buy the shoes I am sure they have had us in there before Good luck

[dee-liscious]

wow...didnt expect so much helpful advice. Thanks to you all...I really appreciate your kind words. I have and do buy but it seems to get harder. I will take your advice on board and stop being such a wuss!!

[tacal]

Yesterday, i had a fun time shopping. Went to Nordstrom at the Tacoma Mall. When I got to the 2nd floor, I noticed a clerk comming from the back room, I stopped her and asked where the Petite jeans could be found. She started to point then said she would take me to the department. She asked what I was looking for and told her boot cut jeans size 14 petite. She asked who they were for and I said for myself.....she didn't even look shocked. She found the size and said to try them on and took me to the dressing room. She brought 4 or 5 pair to me while I was still trying on the original pair. some fit welll others toooooo tight. I opted for a pair JAG boot cut 14 petite. Took them out to her and she rang them up, gave me her card and said to call her whenever I was in need of anything. I will be back there soon. I will call her and see if she can do a bra fitting for me. Her name was Teri.:bighug:

[Jodi]

On my way home from my vacation today, I stopped at my favorite outlet mall. I was going right past, so why not stop and brouse. As ususal, I was shopping in drab. I stopped first at the BCBG/Max Azaria store. Could not find anything that turned me on, but ended up chatting with the asst manager, Cara, for over an hour. She is so darned cute. When leaving, she promised to call me when the new fall stock comes in. I next went to the Ninewest store. They still have their sale going on. When I entered, the asst manager, Robin grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to show me what they had gotten in for fall. I really liked a new style with a peeptoe and 4" heel. She grabbed a pair of 9-1/2 and said, "here try these on". She brought me nylon footies as it was so warm and needed them to try on pumps. As I was trying them on, a woman customer was watching me. I stood up and walked a few steps. The customer's comments were--they look great, are they comfortable, and wow, you can walk in those well. I bought the shoes. The woman, probably in her 30's, then asked me about my taste in shoes and what kind I liked. There was also a pair that I liked in winter white patent, but they did not have my size. Robin stated that they would be getting more in and that she would call and let me know when they arrived.

If you don't have fun shopping, why do it? As others have said, nobody cares what you are buying, they are just happy to have a pleasant customer and happy to sell.

Jodi

[Denisegurl2]

I gotta find Teri!!!! I have been looking for some cute, low rise jeans!

Tacoma, here I come!

[Kristen Kelly]

This is another of my recent posts

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=520274&postcount=46

Just get out and do it. I have fun shopping I go to thrift stores, found some great bargains, they have unisex changing rooms, or the mall. I usually shop in drab, not that I have a problem being out enfem I love it, thats why I have to shop so much, (a vicious cycle here) not afraid to say it's for me, in fact I joke about it often. It's funny when shopping enfem I window shop more, and buy less, I have even used my male credit card enfem (was told I couldn't use my husbands card, wanted to kiss that saleswoman). I say the more you do some thing the more "normal" it feels.

I am not on a cause, but the gays had to endure a lot of ridicule, and to some extent still do, to get where they are accepted in society today, getting out we are furthering our cause, do it were we are accepted the most with our $$$, shop in the stores.

[Siobhan Marie]

I do most of my shopping online, be it femme stuff, drab stuff or books, cd's, and dvd's. Its not because I'm lazy, I hate going into Southampton. Can never get what I want or in my size. Its just easier for me to buy online. I can get what I want and in my size. But thats just me.

:hugs: Anna x