Sex Question to all CDs from a curious GG

[kali GG]

Hello everyone,

I apologize in advance if this question seems intrusive, I really don't mean to be rude, but I am making an ongoing effort to understand CDing, specifically as it relates to my husband.

My question is this: Do you feel that CDing is part of your sexuality? For example, my husband, a CD, would prefer to be submissive in bed, "serving" me, as it were. I think most people would agree that has traditionally been the "feminine" role in sex, so I correlate that desire with his dressing in a way.

I wonder if this is very common, or if there are CDs out there who, when it's time to have sex, just "switch", rip the clothes off and have at it, enjoying what society tends to think of as the "masculine" role, the "taker."

So often, I hear, "it's just clothes." I know that for my husband, that's just not true. There is definitely a desire to identify as a woman in bed. How about for you all?

Best wishes,

Kali GG

[emachine39]

Well when I dress my gf won't do anything sexual with me, but that's alright I'm just happy she's handling me dressing as much as she does. I personally enjoy being submissive, whether it's when I'm dressed or not. But at the same time I can be more dominant too.

[Calliope]

There is definitely a desire to identify as a woman in bed. How about for you all?


Yes, I'd go along with that. I'd even say I 'have a headache' most of time as well.

[elizabeth nicole]

Well here goes,I am TS non op which means i feel and think like a woman more than a male.My gf is still confused but has started to understand that I fall in the middle in bed. I enjoy the night when she takes charge and is in complete control,but i also let the male side rule also.It is a fine line some night.What makes it worse is that she is more than 15 years my JR.I think it confuses her some nights and she has started to assume a more domme role.Not your whips and chains type but the more aggressive type,and it is some times very exciting to say the least. I think what your SO may be wanting is to experience something similar.Dont be afraid he just mite open up to you about what he wants.THen it is up to you to decide what he gets. And for some of us they are not just clothes they are our life line,our sanity at times.

[Karren H]

Hmmmmmm. Sex? .......ohhhh SEX! I remember that now!! Hehehe.

Nope. I was always been the maleish one. But then again.... I've never had sex while dressed enfemme!

Love Karren

[Sandygal]

Hi Kali.............If I could make love to my wife dressed up, I wouldn't mind playing either role. I just know that it would highten the whole experience. To all you GG's. If your not sure how the sex would be, try asking your partner to dress up, you might awaken a tiger wearing little Bo Peeps clothes.
TaTa for now
Sandy

[EricaCD]

So the threshold question is "Is CDing part of my sexuality". But from your message, I gather that what you are really asking is: "Does CDing translate into a desire to take on a feminized role during sex?" - with the implicit assumption that a "feminized" role necessarily means a submissive one.

OK, now that I have hopelessly confused the question, for me the answers are "Yes", "I don't know", and "Almost certainly not."

Yes - CDing has a definite sexual aspect to it. For me it's not explicitly sexual, but profoundly erotic.

I don't know - I do not bring any sort of gender-shifting roleplay to bed, as my wife has made it pretty clear that she would not be interested. So I really have no clue as to whether this is something I would wish to do...

Almost certainly not - if I did assume a feminine personality during sex, I am quite sure she would not be submissive. Erica's just not that type of girl.

Does that help? Or should Erica stay away from the keyboard for a while...

Erica

[Dee 1062]

for me, I love being treated like a woman in bed....

[Julie Avery]

Kali, I looked back through your posts to try to get some context, and here's how it looks to me:

What's going on now in your relationship is his exploration of his forbidden side, now for the first time accepted. He's probably interested in nothing other than that, right now.

This exclusive emphasis will probably pass, and I would suggest that you encourage it to pass by perhaps showing him this post, or expressing to him that you have no interest in exclusively playing the role he's asking you to play.

It would certainly help if you could also say that you could be interested in playing that role sometimes in the context of a relationship where you felt comfortable with his masculinity, but I don't know if you can say that. If not, I think the prognosis is grim.

I am speaking to you and your husband's case specifically - in answer to your question about whether all CD's are like your husband, I do not think all CD's are alike, we're pretty diverse. On the other hand, your husband is not alone.

I appreciate, in some small way from my side of the fence, what you are going through, and wish you well. You are welcome to contact me or my partner CherGG privately if you wish.

[kali GG]

to all who have replied so far. I realize I wasn't totally clear: My husband and I have never had sex while he was dressed (although he would love to), I didn't mean to imply that we had. I just noticed his general submissiveness in bed and wondered about the possible relationship to CD.

I know any time we talk about gender stereotypes like "masculine" and "feminine" there are always bound to be as many interpretations of that as there are people...so I'm not trying to suggest that I agree with the traditional view of things...just trying to get the big picture and sometimes to do that you have to make generalizations.

Thanks again,

Kali GG

[Julie York]

Do not mistake submissiveness for someone who likes an easy life.

Choice A: Lie back and have your brains shagged out.

Choice B: Use muscles in your stomach and arms that haven't been used since you last had a jump......and then hope you get your timing right whilst getting friction burns on your knees.


Yeah...I'm submissive.:D Mostly after 4 pints.

[Janelle Young]

As you have already seen there are some of us that would welcome the submissive role, and some that do not. As for myself I am also into BDSM (whips and chains) and I am a Top. I have no desire to be submissive to anyone at any time. It may surprise you (it did me) just how many men are into being submissive. In the BDSM scene there are a lot of submissive men. I say this to let you know it is more common than you may think. Hope this helps.

[nikisbest]

I have never had the thrill of having sex while dressed, but I would love that.
I mostly HAVE to be the dominant one in bed, try to get to be more dominant, so I can be more submissive. She really don't ( "KNOW WHAT TO DO" ) is her quote to me. Wish she would treat me like a woman, just one time, I think I would love it TOO much.
Niki

[Cherry Lynn]

We have sex with me dressed and I love to be submissive but have no problem with sex when I am in the male mode. My wife loves to treat me like a woman when I am dressed and I love it. I guess what I am trying to say is we like it both ways and we both get turned on by it.

[nettiereno GG]

Like Janelle, we are involved in BDSM. My adora is submissive to me, however, she can be quite dominant in bed, at times. This is fine, as our relationship is not just D/s related, but also includes a full Vanilla relationship.

We have sex while she is dressed, and also while she is not.

The simple answer is that she is both submissive and dominant in bed. Magnificent it is!

Annette

[MarinaTwelve200]

Cross dressing is what some of us guys do for a VARIETY of underlying psychological conditions. While some guys may have a "Fem side" that needs expressing, and all that goes along with that, others, like me, are "escapists" who CD to ocasionally GET AWAY from our normal selves AND/OR "the pressures of masculinity" Itself.

In our case (escapists) it is generally not a "sexual" thing save for the normal hetro attractions to aspects of our own "converted" bodies.---The primary motive is to "to entirely get out of ME" for a while, and de-stress.

Other non sexual CD motives may be the thrill of "risk Taking" (discovery) or curiosity.

[Yes I am]

I have yet to have sex while actually dressed, but yes I do enjoy more of being the "giver" in terms of sexual pleasure rather than the "taker." Maybe it's connected to my transvetism, maybe it's not. I don't really care why.

[Daintre]

I have never had sex while dressed as a woman, however, I was always the submissive one in bed. The problem was compounded because my ex also was not overly dominant in bed, we ended up in a relationship where she was very scornful of me because I did not do my manly duties and initiate sex. My ex was brought up to believe the man was always the initiator.

I wanted to initiate the act, but my self confidence was always real low. Although my ex wasn't dominant in bed.....she was very dominant in all other aspects of our marriage and yes, she certainly was the one who wore the pants while we were married. :straightface:

[Melanie R]

I do not know if I agree that crossdressing is related to sexuality. Certainly many CD's want to be submissive in bed and many want to be dressed in erotic clothing when making love. For myself I can feel like a woman no matter what I am wearing or if I am being dominant or submissive. The man in me never goes away - if it did I would have gone the SRS route and that would not be fair to my wife. If I remember I believe Peggy and I talked about this same issue as it relates to our life together in the Secret Lives of Women - Married to Crossdressers presentation on WE on August 15 at 9 PM CST. BTW to dispel some incorrect rumors the producer of the upcoming segment on crossdressing talked with five couples before choosing two couples for the final filming. Only one of the couples told the producer that they did not want to appear in this filming and they were from California. The final film is 50 minutes with two couples sharing the 50 minutes after commercial time.

Hugs,

Melanie

[lahr]

Is CDing part of my sexuality?... Usually only when my wife and I are making love. Am I submissive? Only when i'm on my knees and kissing her stockinged feet. I have a huge fetish for nyloned feet and stilleto heels both mine and hers. We often make love while we're both in hose and heels. As of late she enjoyes it as much as I do.... I hope thats not too much information.....Me wearing make up, jewelery, or acting femenine in her presence is a big no no and I respect her limits. When i'm alone and dressed fully en femme its more of a dominant / self assured comfort thing.

[GG Vanya]

Like Janelle, we are involved in BDSM. My adora is submissive to me, however, she can be quite dominant in bed, at times. This is fine, as our relationship is not just D/s related, but also includes a full Vanilla relationship.

We have sex while she is dressed, and also while she is not.

The simple answer is that she is both submissive and dominant in bed. Magnificent it is!

Annette

Ditto to what Janelle and Nettie have said. Trudi is "only" submissive when en femme. This does not mean my husband is *always* submissive in bed, absolutely NOT. <grin> We both are what is known as a "switch" in the BDSM community (meaning we can walk both sides of the road, so to speak, in the "scene" arena). We both have very dominating personalities in our day to day lives: we are both Leos.

I do not dominate "him"~but Trudi is submissive to me. Confusing to be sure, but it affords us a nice variety and balance in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom.

In answer to your question, yes there is an element of submissiveness in the boudoir when Trudi is dressed~in the manner of wishing to "service" me as you so eloquently put it. :) But this is not always the case.

Hell, I ENJOY being pampered occasionally! If this is not your cup o tea...grab him by the ears, flip him over and growl: We're gonna do this MY way tonight! (and watch him grin from ear to ear!)

P.S. It has been said, by my oh so wise Husband: "Dominance is the ultimate act of submission." Think on this. The dominant partner is responsible for the well being of his/her submissive. So who's taking care of whom?

As a dominant, if it pleases me to "service" my submissive, is that not my right to do so if it brings me pleasure? Perhaps your husband is more dominant than you think. <smile>

[Lissa Stevens]

I would very much like to be the submissive. My wife is very traditional though, so we are very vanilla. I feel the feminine fits me better in or out of bed.

[gretafemme]

I have to say that I enjoy combining both the masculine and feminine energies when being intimate. I enjoy the feelings I get when intimate with a woman, and also enjoy being submissive and receiving pleasure from her as well. The clothing has always been erotic for me as I am very tactile and sensual. I like it on her, and me as well.......if we both are in beautiful sexy lingerie......well.....WOW. The main thing is to enjoy eachother and find what you both get pleasure from. I think I like pleasing my lover better than being pleased...making me a servant type I guess. I can think of nothing more intimate than being two girls together. Good question, and the best to you and your spouse. Greta 0.02

[GG Vanya]

I do not know if I agree that crossdressing is related to sexuality. Certainly many CD's want to be submissive in bed and many want to be dressed in erotic clothing when making love. For myself I can feel like a woman no matter what I am wearing or if I am being dominant or submissive. The man in me never goes away - if it did I would have gone the SRS route and that would not be fair to my wife. If I remember I believe Peggy and I talked about this same issue as it relates to our life together in the Secret Lives of Women - Married to Crossdressers presentation on WE on August 15 at 9 PM CST. BTW to dispel some incorrect rumors the producer of the upcoming segment on crossdressing talked with five couples before choosing two couples for the final filming. Only one of the couples told the producer that they did not want to appear in this filming and they were from California. The final film is 50 minutes with two couples sharing the 50 minutes after commercial time.

Hugs,

Melanie

EXCELLENT point Melanie! This is so very true with Trudi as well. It was very confusing to me at first, until I caught on to a very subtle sign that lets me know, no matter how she's dressed, if she's feeling dominant or submissive.

She has worn a gold chain with a crucifix ever since I met her. If my husband comes to bed, (regardless whether en femme or stark nekkid) without that chain, I know "who" (or which aspect of the person I love so dearly) I'm about to get frisky with! :evil: :dom:

When I mentioned this to her, I think it came as a surprise. Not even she had realized she was doing this. It's become a very endearing signal for me, over the years. :love:

[Rikkicn]

My husband and I have never had sex while he was dressed (although he would love to)
Kali GG
I can't help but ask that if you love him and want to be with him then why haven't you had sex while he was dressed? I know you realize how much he wants that.
Understanding the varied and probably complex reasons behind this will lead you to the next level of understanding cding and your relationship with it and with your husband.
If your open to new experiences (especially sexually), love your husband deeply and approach life with curiousity and playfulness then your going to have the time of your life and more orgasms then you will ever want.
If not then you'll have something else.

Just something to think about, no need to answer

[Dragster]

Kali,
Like the others here, I can't answer for your SO. We're all different, so I can only tell you how I feel.
My wife and I have enjoyed pleasing one another without either of us being overly dominant or submissive, we just go with the flow and do whatever we feel like doing at the time. I love it when she wears anything sexy to bed, but sadly she rarely feels in the mood now. I'd also love it if she'd accept ME dressing sexy for bed. She knows, but can't get over her inhibitions. And if we were both dressed, it'd really blow my mind. In any of those three scenarios, I expect I'd feel no more dominant or submissive than if we were both naked.
I've also tied her up a few times before bringing her to orgasm, which I suppose is dominant behaviour, and I'd love it if she'd do the same for me, which I suppose is submissive. Sadly, I think my renewed interest in CDing is turning her off any sort of sexual activity with me at present, and I'm not rocking the boat because I love her dearly, and we have a great life otherwise. I'll just keep trying to win her over, and I suppose that's also submissive.
I hope you can get something useful out of my ramblings!

All the best,
Tony

[linnea]

Hmmmmmm. Sex? .......ohhhh SEX! I remember that now!! Hehehe.

Nope. I was always been the maleish one. But then again.... I've never had sex while dressed enfemme!

Love Karren

I have never had sex while dressed en femme either, but when I fantasize about sex while dressed en femme, I fantasize that I am the feminine partner even though my fantasies involve my SO (my wife). In those fantasies, I imagine her taking a dominant role. When I am not en femme, I definitely take the dominant, traditionally male role.

[KatieZ]

Sex!?

It's been so long since I've had sex, I can't remember who gets tied up!





Hugs

[loki_uk]

Hello everyone,
My question is this: Do you feel that CDing is part of your sexuality?

I wonder if this is very common, or if there are CDs out there who, when it's time to have sex, just "switch", rip the clothes off and have at it, enjoying what society tends to think of as the "masculine" role, the "taker."

Best wishes,

Kali GG

It's part of my sexuality but not the whole thing, through out my life my gender balance has been like shifting sands and even when not dressing noticably it has always played out in my sexuality

I used to be more Male and be more assertive in bed, even when my partners were being very dominant but over the years as I've become a little more comfortable with who I am I don't bother with the pretence of trying to be male in bed even though I've never dressed for my wife

It's the one time I can open up and let my emotions out fully as it's something she actively encourages, although it even confuses me that I groan like a woman when I get carried away :eek:

[Nike]

In this corner... Prince Charming

In this corner... Submissive CD

Sexuality is so complicated isn't it? I mean, the male is supposed to do this... and the female is supposed to do that and we have procreation.

Now that that's settled, what we really have is two people who have proclaimed their love and desire for each other.

Setting aside the "roles" the "Victorian Age" assigned to each of us by our birth sex, we as human beings have aspects both masculine and feminine within us. Not some, but ALL of us.

Masculine does not equal strength any more than feminine equals weak. Marriage by it's very nature is a mutually agreed submission, one to the other. If we need rules for our lives, including our sexuality, we know through history and theology that the Stronger shall serve the Weaker and that both will benefit greatly. So who really serves who?

If one is weak whether it be in body or Spirit (will), then is it submissive or "feminine" if they serve, or is it a matter of natural selection?

If one is weak, yet hides the insecurity and lack of grounding with a domineering or bullying manner, is that masculine?

On the other hand, if one is strong in both body AND Spirit, and chooses to serve, is it submission? If so, is it feminine... or is it masculine... or... does it have a gender at all?

People sometimes fall in love with the role they picture their partner in rather than the living, breathing person they accepted as their mate.

If your CD husband doesn't give you pleasure by "taking his pleasure in you", (Prince Charming) then shame on him. If you don't take your pleasure in your CD husband and express your needs and desires directly and clearly to him, (feminine prerogative) then shame on you.

Societal roles are assigned to give us the right to "judge", this is "right", or this is "wrong".

Given the choice, would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?

The choice IS yours.

Love each other first and always.

[NewbieCD]

Hello everyone,

I apologize in advance if this question seems intrusive, I really don't mean to be rude, but I am making an ongoing effort to understand CDing, specifically as it relates to my husband.

My question is this: Do you feel that CDing is part of your sexuality? For example, my husband, a CD, would prefer to be submissive in bed, "serving" me, as it were. I think most people would agree that has traditionally been the "feminine" role in sex, so I correlate that desire with his dressing in a way.

I wonder if this is very common, or if there are CDs out there who, when it's time to have sex, just "switch", rip the clothes off and have at it, enjoying what society tends to think of as the "masculine" role, the "taker."

So often, I hear, "it's just clothes." I know that for my husband, that's just not true. There is definitely a desire to identify as a woman in bed. How about for you all?

Best wishes,

Kali GG
As far as that whole submissive thing goes yes i want it 1 cause it helps me to feel more feminine and 2 i think it would help explore more of my self but being dressed or not i do not think that changes it at all. I hope this helps....

[Nike]

oh yeah, and I can be either Decidedly Dominant, assertive and "masculine", or I can be Sweetly Submissive, servile and even receptive (feminine). Somewhere in between is who I really am. I am both masculine and feminine.

What I am first, is a husband, who loves his wife. I receive as much joy from giving her pleasure (sexually or otherwise) as I receive from her be it sexually or otherwise.

[Josephine Bonne]

Hi Kali,

I can only speak for myself; dressing and sexuality are somewhat separate. Please before all the rest of the girls go off shaking their heads, really dressing for me is just being true to what I so deeply feel. Sexuality is mostly separate, but yes, I do so very much feel sexy when dressed. There must be some kind of paradigm there! Dressing is an expression of myself; sex is pure fun. My wife has not wanted to have sex with me dressed, she states that a lesbian relationship is not what she had in mind when we married, but she certainly knows how to excite me by treating me as a ****ty girl when we are having sex. When en femme I feel very sexual, when in drab I do not have the same deep feeling of pure being. Sounds confused, does it not? Really, being oneself takes you to such a fantastic place, all things seem better; reading a book, having a glass of wine, they all just are better when you understand yourself. Really girls; are you not a bit more relaxed walking into a room with your heals on and a short little skirt, in lieu of clunking in with a pair of logging boots on. And do you do feel a little sexier en femme than with a dirty teeshirt and jeans on? Kali, as for me, I am very submissive with a GG; how can one not be?

[Melanie]

Hi Kali ,
when dressed 'en femme' and having had 3 girlfriend's who were pretty understanding about it,I definatley was the 'fem one.Two out of the three GF's really liked it as it made a pleasant change from my male self where I was the 'initiator' about 95% of the time or more.
Plus being the submissive,I found it really added to the entire experience for me and sometimes them too.Of course I wasn't the least bit suprised when 2 of the 3 GF's turned out to be bisexual.Maybe that has something to do with it,unless I helped cause it?,lol!.

So yes sisters I am privildged to have had sex many times when dressed,it is simply mindlbowing!,not to rub it in or anything,I hope you all get to experience this some time soon.As for now I am 'asexual!,lol

Sex ?... what's that?

Hugs Sisters Everywhere, :hugs:

Melanie.

[AmandaM]

I am not submissive when in guy mode. When I turn on the crossdressing switch, I am the female. We have, uh, s-word, all the time while dressed. I can't understand it, but I even have multiple-female-type-orgasms while dressed, and at no other time. Even if it's not, it's certainly not the typical male "reaction" I known and loved all my life. This has only began about 3 years ago. I guess I've reached the height of crossdressing nirvana in that respect.

[Wenda]

In this corner... Prince Charming

In this corner... Submissive CD

Sexuality is so complicated isn't it? I mean, the male is supposed to do this... and the female is supposed to do that and we have procreation.

Now that that's settled, what we really have is two people who have proclaimed their love and desire for each other.

Setting aside the "roles" the "Victorian Age" assigned to each of us by our birth sex, we as human beings have aspects both masculine and feminine within us. Not some, but ALL of us.

Masculine does not equal strength any more than feminine equals weak. Marriage by it's very nature is a mutually agreed submission, one to the other. If we need rules for our lives, including our sexuality, we know through history and theology that the Stronger shall serve the Weaker and that both will benefit greatly. So who really serves who?

If one is weak whether it be in body or Spirit (will), then is it submissive or "feminine" if they serve, or is it a matter of natural selection?

If one is weak, yet hides the insecurity and lack of grounding with a domineering or bullying manner, is that masculine?

On the other hand, if one is strong in both body AND Spirit, and chooses to serve, is it submission? If so, is it feminine... or is it masculine... or... does it have a gender at all?

People sometimes fall in love with the role they picture their partner in rather than the living, breathing person they accepted as their mate.

If your CD husband doesn't give you pleasure by "taking his pleasure in you", (Prince Charming) then shame on him. If you don't take your pleasure in your CD husband and express your needs and desires directly and clearly to him, (feminine prerogative) then shame on you.

Societal roles are assigned to give us the right to "judge", this is "right", or this is "wrong".

Given the choice, would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?

The choice IS yours.

Love each other first and always.
THAT is exactly what I would have said if I had thought it, and submitted it! My ex was Victorian, man on top, woman under, even though she considered herself a child of the 60s.
MY SO, who is incredibly compatible, was not especially comfortable when Wenda first emerged, but has come to regard her as a 'special' ie 'secret' friend. Wenda is definitely submissive to Jaya. In our other lives, we will probably be about 50/50. We have a 'maid's outfit' for Wenda when we go on holidays, and she has a strap-on which is something neither of us has experienced previously.
I think Nike summed it up very nicely, "would you rather be right or be happy?" If it makes (the both of)you happy, then isn't it right?
All the best:hugs:

[Helen MC]

Both with girlfriends and with my wife when married, and of course they knew all about my TV side, when we had sex I prefered the woman on top and I took what would be preceived by many to be the "female" role, she made love to me and not the other way around. I have never liked to take the lead so to speak and I detest the stereotypical male behaviour as typified in magazins, books, on the Telly and in Movies etc of "giving her a good seeing to" or "shagging the ar5e off woman" as they would put it as I , and any women with whom I have had sexual relations have always prefered the gentler and more delicate approach as I do myself. So yes, in a sexual context I am the submissive partner.

[Angie G]

I don't mind kicking back and letting ner do some of tht love making but I play the major roll most of the time we make love.
Angie G.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

From the studies that have been done on crossdressing, sexuality often is wrapped up in crossdressing -- particularly in younger life (i.e. teens and 20s). But it's a complicated picture.

The dom/sub dimension (also refers to as "top" and "bottom") is really independent -- you see both straight and gay couples where one partner is more assertive than the other, and it's not necessarily related to gender -- just as one partner typically has more of a sex drive than the other (again not necessarily related to one's sex).

That said, our culture has traditionally associated "feminine" with "sub" (at least for the past 200 years, for centuries before that women were believed to be the more sexual of the sexes). So it's not suprising that a number of CDs seem to equate the two. And as Marla GG once asutely observed, there's a number of CDs who are "penetration curious" for a variety of reasons.

There's also the aspect of just laying back and enjoying "being done to" as Julie York alluded to. IIRC there's surveys that show the favorite sex act of both sexes is receiving oral sex -- which isn't surprising given that it is usually receiving pleasure.

Also, I think most many feel a lot performance anxiety that most women don't really understand. So if you're feeling a bit uncertain about your masculinity because of your crossdressing, you may be less traditionally assertive in bed. And if you're willing to step outside of the masculine role to crossdress, you're probably more likely to act out a desire to be the "passive" partner.

[sandra-leigh]

my husband, a CD, would prefer to be submissive in bed, "serving" me, as it were. I think most people would agree that has traditionally been the "feminine" role in sex, so I correlate that desire with his dressing in a way.

I tend to prefer bottom, but I don't think of it as submissive. There are some physical reasons for my preference, which I won't go in to at this time. The major psychological reason is that I prefer active participation from my partners: you are more certain she wants to be there if she's on top.

[Khriss]

to all who have replied so far. I realize I wasn't totally clear: My husband and I have never had sex while he was dressed (although he would love to), I didn't mean to imply that we had. I just noticed his general submissiveness in bed and wondered about the possible relationship to CD.

I know any time we talk about gender stereotypes like "masculine" and "feminine" there are always bound to be as many interpretations of that as there are people...so I'm not trying to suggest that I agree with the traditional view of things...just trying to get the big picture and sometimes to do that you have to make generalizations.

Thanks again,

Kali GG

..and Your willingness to understand your "partner" is commendable , as long as You both feel safe in such explorations ( concidered-and thought out) Who cares realy ? I'm always hoping my partner would want more from me..sexually.... (an ego-thing?) a given...reguardless of gender conflicts eh ??
Being "right" sexually with a lover or partner ..gets complex...or does it ?? xx "K"

[ArleneRaquel]

I've NEVER had sex enfemme! But it's a WONDERFUL thought!!:love:

[Pauline Brown]

It's always fantastic.
We've tried it every witch way.
Sex, surely, is about enjoyment amd pleasure, Do the washing up some other time.

hope that helps.

Pauline.

[RachelDenise]

I believe that these are separate issues but closely linked. I am submissive by nature and would love to incorporate the dressing part into my sexual life. Forced femininity and submission, servicing my mistress, etc... are part of my fantasies. The dressing part of me is there all the time, while the sex part shows up every so often!

[Raychel]

I would say that for me the crossdressing would definitly heighten the sexual responses. Although for as often as it happens around here I will take it anyway I can get it. And my wife will have no part of the dressing.

[Elena Ambasce]

I wonder how many of us would be sexually submissive en homme as well, if we could get away with it...

[pedebra]

I have never had sex while dressed, however I do enjoy both roles. There are times when I enjoy being the dominant one and taking the lead. I do find that if I have been dressing recently, I really enjoy having my wife take the lead and have her way with me.

[loki_uk]

I wonder how many of us would be sexually submissive en homme as well, if we could get away with it...

I do it's easy, it's the easiest way to be yourself without being asked any awkward questions, and of course if the missus suddenly got the urge to feminise mean I'm not going to resist much lol

[paularg36]

:hugs: Is cding part of my sexuality? I suppose it is. It does make me feel different but it doesn't make me act differently. I am the one who usually takes the iniative in bed but it is wonderful when my wife takes the iniative. I wish she would do it more often. I don't think this is a matter of domination or submission; it is a matter of intimacy and trust and the desire to be together.

[swiss_susan]

I suppose it can be, thought I will admit my current realtionship is the first time I have ever actually told someone about me.

Thus far it seems to be going pretty well.

I have always been pretty adaptable in a physical sense. I see no point in defining specific roles for these things. Sometimes I like to take charge others I prefer to have my partner do it. These things of depend on the partner, but the key is to be spontaneous.

Generally I try in all aspects of my life to keep and open mind, why should intimacy be any different

[monalisa]

Try having sex while he is dressed and see what it is like and what you enjoy. You will find him more submissive, more gentle, and more romantic. Just close your eyes and enjoy. It might surprise you.

[bobinguilford]

I have never gone to bed without anything other than panties but I would love to go all the way and be the female and take orders(or requests). I do not have the nerve to make my desires known. Best all I think would be for the SO to do the "change over" the whole works. At my age I would perhaps have a heart attack but what a way to go!!!

[KarenXDR]

...and I am. My wife LOVES my xdrg and the only problem is she gets so hot she's ripping my clothes off before I can "strut my stuff".

In bed I am the total dominant, though hardly a masher. Oh by the way my wife has a gorgeous wardrobe herself....what a life!!

Lipstick kisses

Karen

[allisonrn06]

Just a couple of Sundays ago,I wore lingerie during sex with my wife for the first time and i don' think there was any of the "role reversal" mentioned in this post.0.02

[Kimberly]

"It's just clothes" is often a logical conclusion drawn by CDs to justify to an ignorant people why they crossdress -- I'm not shy of using it either, but reading your post I see that that just isn't the case.

I've been drawing conclusions myself of late - to be written in down in volume at some point in my life... An examination of CDing by a CDer... and one of my observations is, "What is gender, if not the presentation of attributes playing on the rules of the cisgender?"

The presentation is most obvious in clothes, which have built connotations with them along the years - frilly things are girly, for example. By Crossdressing, we are presenting a part of ourselves that we wish to show... therefore, your husband's submissiveness may come out in his dressing - it has in mine in relationships of the past.

At the moment, I'm dressing in jeans, stretchy tops. Sexy, but somewhat boystrous. And I can see that in my attitude to dressing over the past week or so. Sunday was the first day I ever went out in heels... and the only two emotions I felt before stepping out were fear and a sense that I just didn't want to care about what anyone else thought, which takes some courage. So, in my ambivilance somewhere, I was being boystrous and loud with my attitudes - something that's coming out in my dressing at the moment.

So, yes, his attitudes are expressed in his dressing, his relationships and his actions. As they are in all of us.

[DonnaT]

I can take on either role (aggressor or aggressee) when dressed enfemme. Even when not dressed enfemme. I would like for my wife to take on the aggressor role more often, but it's just not in her nature.

[Melissa A.]

I think you really asked two different questions...First, is cding part of my sexuality? Well, it can be, if I'm with someone I like and I'm horney! Seriously, though, being a girl involves so much more than just being turned on by "admiring" myself in a mirror. For me, it's more about experiencing a very strong and real part of myself. Being Melissa relaxes me, makes me feel peaceful, and puts me in touch with , again, a real part of myself.

The other part of your question involves traditional male/female roles, at least as they are viewed by most people. When it comes to women, I am always submissive, as a boy or a girl. That's just me, I like dominant women, and I'm not sure it has any more to do with being in girl mode than anything else. I can also enjoy sexual intimacy with a woman as equals, but I'm just not that good at the dominant/aggressor role. I have noticed that alot of cds are also submissives, so I suppose there is a connection there.

I have never been intimate with a man, but I do have an interest in experiencing it as a girl. I believe I could take on the submissive OR dominant role in that case, and have fun with either. Even though I am thoroughly submissive when it comes to women. Go figure. Maybe it's cause I just believe that GIRLS RULE!

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[Katiegirl]

I have never had much sex drive and found it difficult even when was married so I gave up sex for many years ago. Now I live alone I really don't miss it, weither you could say my cross dressing is a substitute I don't know.

[nettiereno GG]

GG Vanya - I also enjoy the pampering I get from my adora, including the times he pampers me as my "poet boy." He is service oriented, and I enjoy service.

Interesting thought, by your husband, "Dominance is the ultimate act of submission." I think this can definitely be true. I also feel that many of the submissive men I have met, as a Dominant in the Scene, are some of the strongest people, internally.

I like your Mantra.

Wenda - We also play around with the strap on at times. He/she had experience with it, I did not. We enjoy it, as sometimes I am the poker, and sometimes I get poked. Lots of variety in the relationship. LOL.

Annette

[Eugenie]

Kali,

Obviously there must be considerable differences between X-dressers with regard to the role they like/want to play during sexual games. So this will be just relating my experience and will probably not apply in the specific case of your husband. But between all the stories that you will read in this discussion thread, you may find some elements that will enable you to make your own mind on the subject.

For me, X-dressing has evolved from being a primarily sexual activity to being primarily a mode of living with limited sexual content.

My wife, whom I've told about my desire to x-dress just about 2 years after our wedding didn't mind too much about it since at that time it was pretty much a sexual fantasy involving only sexy women underwear and occasionally a satin nightgown. We even had a few love making sessions with me wearing such underwear. But I was then playing a full part male role, even though my vision of having sex was far more centered on lengthy foreplay, in particular I had a tremendous pleasure with giving pleasure to my wife via oral stimulation and I wasn't so kin on regular intercourse. Perhaps this desire was already sort of a denial of my masculine role. But I didn't expect my wife to be the dominating partner. Unfortunately she didn't like those long foreplay and even progressively refused to let me stimulate her orally. She liked quick and powerful intercourse, somewhat as some male like to make love.

In the mid seventies, we had a phase of life when we had what was then called "open marriage". We had met a couple of friends whom we both liked and we exchanged partners occasionally, always in separate rooms (no orgy involved)

My relation with that woman was fabulous and I told her almost right away about my x-dressing. She accepted it quite easily. We played all sorts of games involving me being "en femme". By that time, I had progressively moved towards a fuller expression of x-dressing, wearing dresses on top of my women underwear. My friend introduced me to wearing skirts and blouses and high heel shoes.

She insisted, however, that we should share equally the periods in our relationship experiences between the ones when I was "en femme" and the ones when I was purely acting in my masculine role. When I was "en femme", she adored my way of "treating her as another woman would" during our long foreplay. She would enter in the role, playing with my small breasts...

When I was playing the male role, she liked me being in the traditional dominating male role. But even when I was "en femme", I was still playing the male role in the end.

Note that we still have a fabulous relation, even after more than 25 years... We don't see each other much as we live on the opposite side of the Atlantic...

Lately she has been somewhat turned off by the fact that I shaved my body. She said that she couldn't bring herself to touch my new bare skin (I have a very naturally hairy chest which I only shaved a couple of years ago...). I can understand her reaction, she has known me with that hairy chest for more than 20 years...

I think that now, I would be more inclined to play a "woman" role in lovemaking. I would still preferably make love to another woman, which means that she would have to be accepting that mode of sexual relationship... Not an easy road to follow...

Playing a "femme" role with a man is a fantasy, even though I had a one time experience with another X-dresser friend who suddenly felt attracted to me, or should I say my cleavage, and started behaving more like a male than like a woman...

Would I want to really make love with a man? When I am in DRAB mode, I certainly would not. When "en femme", so far I don't think so, but the above anecdote makes me less certain about what would be my final reaction if a man would attempt to seduce me when I'm all dressed and made up. But that is going out of the topic...
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Stephenie S]

So because I sleep in the nude, and my wife sleeps with only a pajama top, our lovemaking really happens when we're nekkid. Don't know what clothing has to do with it for us. This question does seem a bit intrusive and I think that's all I want to say about the subject.

Steph

[Jillian310]

OK Now ~ I believe dominant or submissive in sexual activities is heavily influenced by nurturing during the formative years impacted by genetics. I also believe that the desire read compulsion to CD is likewise captive to those factors. The precise criterion that determines dominant/submissive/CD/and even orientation are frankly a mystery to me, although I have my suspicions! I further believe that these issues may be acted on early on or lay dormant for years until triggered by an event, whether traumatic or social. Moreover, whatever triggers the transformation, in most cases it is a 'tipping point' from which few return, even if lifestyles are drastically impacted. I know of a case where a boy 'came out' at age 6, and another case where a male 'became' bi and began CDing at age 65! I have personal knowledge of only one CD that completely abandoned the lifestyle, and I expect at some point she will return to the fold. Her issue was she couldn't find any girlfriends in her area, so began to stalk females in her male persona, this after she 'came out' to a teen age daughter. These, of course, are my personal opinions subject to modification upon a showing that more compelling issues are at play.

[snow]

I feel my whole personality changes when I'm dressed. I, too, have more of a desire to "serve" and think more of my wife's feelings and pleasures when I'm dressed. She can see the difference and enjoys the change.

[angelfire]

Generally, I think (I am still a virgin, and thus do not know for a fact) I am more submissive in the bedroom. My fantasies are more submissive based than dominant. While I feel like I could do the whole dominant thing, I think I would much rather play the submissive role. I have known I am submissive since before I admitted to being a crossdresser.

[Jasmine Ellis]

never had sex while dressed. Never thought about it. Sex and dress enfemme sounds good on paper

[Sawsan Omar]

i very much to be the submissive, but as my exwife and my girlfriend are traditional thought i have to leave them beacuse the couldent meet my emaotinal needs and my sex diseres now i'm looking a dom woamn or a cd top man beacuse i think that a top cd man will understand me better as i'm tierd to be not myself.

[kayla_cd_va]

For me crossdressing is all about sex. When I'm dressed I feel totally erotic and want to have sex as a woman.

K

[Penny]

Gender roles in a sexual relationship! Is that anything like gender behavior in society? Sometimes I'm agressive even though I appear female; sometimes I'm pasive even though I appear male. That must mean my wife is at times
aggressive and other times passive. No matter who removes them, to some
degree, whether they are Hanes his or her way, they got to come off (or down)! At times it has been so hot I think they got burned off.:blushing:

[tullyxxx]

Hello everyone,

I apologize in advance if this question seems intrusive, I really don't mean to be rude, but I am making an ongoing effort to understand CDing, specifically as it relates to my husband.

My question is this: Do you feel that CDing is part of your sexuality? For example, my husband, a CD, would prefer to be submissive in bed, "serving" me, as it were. I think most people would agree that has traditionally been the "feminine" role in sex, so I correlate that desire with his dressing in a way.

I wonder if this is very common, or if there are CDs out there who, when it's time to have sex, just "switch", rip the clothes off and have at it, enjoying what society tends to think of as the "masculine" role, the "taker."

So often, I hear, "it's just clothes." I know that for my husband, that's just not true. There is definitely a desire to identify as a woman in bed. How about for you all?

Best wishes,

Kali GG
hi yes i know what you mean and yes i always like to make love dressed as grace , i am lucky my wife 20 yrs younger treats me as grace all the time she loves me dressed nice even buys my clothes .

its not just clothes i feel all woman always have so making love as a woman to my wife seems natural and as she dosent mind its great .

in fact she is proud of me when i dress nice and often makes sure i am looking good .

she married me as a man but i told her my desires and she accepted them so i dont know if it answers your question but it is really up to you if you feel good about it .

am sure it dosent mean anything just wantint to be submissive i love that as i feel its my role as a woman but i really love my wife just i am grace and cant help how i am so yes if you ok with it its ok just enjoy he loves you


lots of luck love grace xxx

[suzy]

Well,....what an interesting topic!

I have had the absolute wonderful experience of making love with my wife while dressed. Usually, and moreso at first, I enjoyed the submissive role.

When dressed enfemm, I want to be treated enfemm. But as much of the time I am the man of the house and make love with my wife in the male dominated role, and we enjoy that as well.

If I could, I would dress up more during lovemaking and be submissive more of the time than as the man of the house role, but for now, she needs me to be the husband that she married. I'm glad that we have the ability to share our love in both roles and enjoy each other!

I would be really unhappy if my wife refused to allow me to make love enfemme, because I find it to be sexual as well as part of me as a whole person.

I think it all comes down to sharing. Sharing the most intimate secrets and emotions that two people in love can share!:love:

[dazzed]

My wife finds it difficult to be at all aggressive, However on occasion she will role play with me ,Its special and I love it. I learned not to ask very often and never push it.Works for us.By the way the wife buys most of my lingerie ,skirts blouses,saves the whole shopping bugaboo. have fun injoy life.

[Ellaine]

I take a similar line to what Nike says.

We are all sensual beings. We enjoy sex pleasure even though we have no intent to make babies.
Some folks will do anything. Some have limits, which may be psycological or sensory. This leaves a lot of latitude to do as you wish in the bedroom. Sex organs, though apparently so different, are almost identical in feeling and sensitivity. Both sexes have a powerful pleasure button in the rear too. A woman with a strap-on is an awesome sight.IMHO
As a crossdresser, a male might well have a particular taste for submissive sex, might feel he needs to be penetrated, the ultimate sub act.
Why not just do what you like? Most of the people can be happy most of the time lol.
Try everything, just be honest with each other. What other rules do you need?


Can we make it fun please? :)

[MsJanessa]

to all who have replied so far. I realize I wasn't totally clear: My husband and I have never had sex while he was dressed (although he would love to), I didn't mean to imply that we had. I just noticed his general submissiveness in bed and wondered about the possible relationship to CD.

I know any time we talk about gender stereotypes like "masculine" and "feminine" there are always bound to be as many interpretations of that as there are people...so I'm not trying to suggest that I agree with the traditional view of things...just trying to get the big picture and sometimes to do that you have to make generalizations.

Thanks again,

Kali GG
Actually I do feel a lot more sexier when dressed but in a Dominant, not submissive, kind of way---dressing (particularly in:dom: leather and sexy lingerie) makes Me feel powerful, in control and very aroused. One good thing about your husband dressing is that while dressed I bet he will never need viagra.

[Ms Nicole]

Hello Kali!

You're certainly generating an avalanche of responses here, aren't you? Good topic! If you're reading all these and make it all the way to this posting, I'm impressed!

I must confess that I envy your husband a bit, as I share his same bedroom desires but have not (yet) had a mate receptive to such interests. Bless you for loving and accepting him, Dear!

:la:
It sounds like you two have a relationship built on a rock-solid foundation of mutual love and respect. Of course, being a relationship, it's not perfect ... but realize that you share something quite special, that many people look for and never find. I wish you both the best!

So anyhow, I tend to prefer a Submissive role with past girlfriends (and any gay fantasies I've ever had are as a Sub). Yet sadly, I've just about given up on finding a woman who is comfortable and happy in an occationally Dominant role. For some reason it seems to be a rare trait. By the way, I'm 35, male, about 95% straight, with a history of several long-term, healthy, commited relationships with women.


But here's where it gets interesting ...

You see, Darling, it turned out that my last two girlfriends both enjoyed being submissive, but being dominant seemed so against my nature (classic "nice guy"). Being very empathetic myself, I've always derived much sexual pleasure vicariously, through my partner's enjoyment of the experience, both emotional and physical. So, since they wanted it, I gradually worked through the initial awkwardness and tried on a new persona in bed (sometimes), fullfilling their deep longing for submission. That alone (fullfilling them) thrilled me, but I also discovered that taking on a dominant role was a Major turn-on for me.

A whole new area of exploration opened up for us, and we both loved it, and would both switch. Overall, it was wonderfully expanding all around, and made the sexual bond between us feel more enriched and complete.

:battingeyelashes:
In a sense, when you switch roles, you're each better able to later see the whole experience through your lover's eyes more acurately. By developing genuine empathy you can get to really know and feel your lover's needs, sense their cravings as your own, intimately share in their deepest passions, and delight fully in their personal satisfaction.

I guess I'm just thinking that if he is willing to be versatile and expand his role a bit, it would (at the very least) provide more of a balance in the sexual power dynamics of your relationship. To bring up the subject, you could gently talk to him and ask him to think about the fullfillment he derives from being in the submissive "feminiine role" during sex. About the needs it satisfies for him, the sense of happiness he feels by surrendering personal will and submitting in service for the one he loves. Let him know you appreciate how he's able to understand something alot of guys never have a clue about. He's able to (at least in a sense) experience the feelings of a woman in a state of sexual surrender. NOW... you kindly implore him to look at the situation through YOUR eyes. Wouldn't he still want to experience the joy of submission? Perhaps more acurately, the joy of Receptivity. Explain that YOU NEED THAT TOO. As a woman, perhaps even more so. And just as you have grown and learned to enjoy acting out a dominant position for his sake, you need HIM to be a Man sometimes and do the same for YOU! That you want him to vicariously share in the pleasure YOU get when HE'S in the role as the Giver and you're the Receiver.

Hopefully this will enable him to hear your request in an empathetic manner, rather than seeing it as taking away from his desires, or worse yet, getting hurt and/or defensive and pulling away emotionally. As always, Communication is essential to any intimate relationship. But handled sensitively, this may well be the "whack on the side of the head" he needs to break out of a rut that ultimately is leaving you less than satisfied. Your intimacy and connection to each other could potentially blossom as a result.

I hope things work out well for you both.

Be positive! :hugs:




So...
If you're still reading this ... hey, thanks! I had no idea I'd be writing this much when I started.
:sb:

Actually, I have a couple more thoughts to share regarding the desire of submission, surrender, "feminine" receptivity, and yeilding to service in love. (It gets kinda metaphysical, but it's all good.)

Although it's largely hidden from people's awareness behind a facade of sexual and cultural clutter, the importance of this passionate longing is not just some surface-level kinkiness, but rather a deep call from our soul. At its roots, in fact, this is a genuine inherant spiritual longing we all have, though frequently unrecognized or denied by many. On a soul level it represents the ultimate Human longing: Return to the Source, Reunion with the Divine, and the peace that comes with fully surrendering into love. This ties in with the fact that many spiritual traditions recognise sexual union as a time when humans can get as close as possible to merging with the Divine. If you want to know more about this, the authentic traditions of Tantric Yoga, Kabbalah, and/or the Rosicrucian path would be great avenues to explore.


Just wanted to share that thought. .



Well, I hope all this helps ... or at least makes sense.


Take care, Kali. Blessed Be!


Love,

~ Miss Nicole ~

:doll:

[brun123]

With me and my Gf we both like to switch it up, often right in the middle.

[Kimberley]

Hi Kall,
For me there is no sexual connotation attached to the clothing at all. As far as sexual activity, I think an even dose both ways works for me. I like my wife to take the lead of course just as much as I like to.

My first concern at any time is her pleasure then mine but I guess I do expect equality. So if she expects my attention to her and none the other way it doesnt work for me. To sum it up, "Ya gets what ya gives."

:hugs:
Kimberley

[NighttimeGirl]

Hello everyone,

I apologize in advance if this question seems intrusive, I really don't mean to be rude, but I am making an ongoing effort to understand CDing, specifically as it relates to my husband.

My question is this: Do you feel that CDing is part of your sexuality? For example, my husband, a CD, would prefer to be submissive in bed, "serving" me, as it were. I think most people would agree that has traditionally been the "feminine" role in sex, so I correlate that desire with his dressing in a way.

I wonder if this is very common, or if there are CDs out there who, when it's time to have sex, just "switch", rip the clothes off and have at it, enjoying what society tends to think of as the "masculine" role, the "taker."

So often, I hear, "it's just clothes." I know that for my husband, that's just not true. There is definitely a desire to identify as a woman in bed. How about for you all?

Best wishes,

Kali GG

I thought it was my g/f writing in, yep that is me also i become very submissive and always have, I always feel more feminine and identify with myself as a woman when we are in Bed.
I will say that dressing as Linda is far from sexual for me also, them days are long gone. but if we do get intimate then thats the way it is. :)
that goes for anything else though, if my g/f asks me to do anything else around the house as Linda then it gets done in an instant, :hugs:

:love:

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hi Kali

Well I can only speak for me on this subject, as i guess this issue varies from person to person.

However, the way I see it is that it should be deemed more a refreshing change from the mundane and more traditional male takes woman role, giving the woman, lady (female) a change to see the grass is greener on the other side of the preverbial fence... Putting her in control once in a while, instead of it being the mans role all the time. Surely a refreshing change. So long as you have a sense for adventure I really cannot see the harm. It will make the crossdressing partner more at ease and sexually will perform far better knowing you are enjoying taking on the role, and he'll enjoy that you are taking the lead. That way, the switch in roles every now and then opens many sexual doors and that can only help to prevent your sex life becoming stagnent (boring) since when has a change never been welcome!!!!

So remove the barriers and enjoy the fun and play the roles. Crossdressers are just the same as many men (maybe a tad more honest than most!) as other men who claim not to have any secrets lol tend to have more secrets than even we do...lol so there you have it...

I wish you all the best, and I hope you enjoy your partners refreshing outlook in your relationship... all the very best..


have a lovely future together... finding partners for us crossdressers, is never an easy one, one thing though I am sure you will find in him a loyal and faithful husband... as he'd be hard pushed to find another woman who would be the way you are..... all the very best.... to you both...

[ChristineRenee]

Being TG, I identify sexually as a woman...always have. But I only have interest sexually in GG's...not genetic males.

[CHRISTINA_CD_TX]

I would guess that there are many types of cds here as well as levels and interest. Each cd has issues that turn us on or feel good.

They say women like to wear find lingerie under the cloths as it makes them feel pretty or reminds them of their femine side in the work place. Is that not the same for a cd when they where it.

To where the cloths male or female is to want to look good and feel good in them. The more you wear the cloths you take on the part being more female with more female thoughts.

To me its a normal thing being what i am. Not better not worse not a sexual thing. Its the girl i am with that would turn me on no matter what i am wearing. The lingere just makes it more fun.


I like how i dress and look and feel sexy in it and only wish i could find a lady who thouht so also. It takes 2 and when the cloths come off your but naked and it all fits right. Man made cloths and if these cloths were made for men then they would be mens cloths and what would be the conversation


I like how i dress and look and feel sexy in it and only wish i could find a lady who thouht so also. It takes 2 and when the cloths come off your but naked and it all fits right. Man made cloths and if these cloths were made for men then they would be mens cloths and what would be the conversation

[eleventhdr]

Yes most probaly.

what man would not give it all up just to be able to finally relaxa and be who and what he might really desire to be.

And that is the female in bed.

But then who say's that female can not be the one's on top hmmm. Indeed it can and does work that way just as well.

If and when the man is going to become feminine then why the heck not be the submissive one.

It does make perfect sense really it does.

But then what is sex anyway anyone really want to voleteer to come out here and explain it to me.

I am really quite ready to listen and do the deed with a real GG.

If and when anyone might just be willing to fulfill that role for me in this lifetime hmmm.

it is kind of very lonley not having someone to love if and when you do get my drift.

Oh well!.

Jay Suzy!

You can decide which role you do wish to play when you might arrive i do not mind. But might be very well if and when you are a reall GG and or a TS girl as I am still in the male roll for now!

Butn can still play the feminine part if and when so desired. And love it just as well either way really depending on how and what you might be wamting and looking for just as well.

I can be Jay and or Suzy!

[Ashley Helen]

Kali, as my wife doesn't know about Helen we have never had sex while I was dressed femininely. My role is definitely male but what guy, at some stage, wouldn't like to lay back and let his partner make the running.
We just have the wrong equipment to take on the female role in a normal relationship (although I am sure someone will argue otherwise).

Helen xx

[Sharon_Rose]

I love to dress because it releases the woman that is trapped inside me. When dressed, I then become the woman I wish I were. That implies that I am much more submissive and nurturing. When I came out to my sister, she was shocked but after 6 months, she told me that she liked me better as Sharon. She felt like she had a sister and found it much easier to talk to me.

[Seraph]

That is a very good question.

I myself prefer to be submissive. :heehee:

I like to pretend to be frail and weak like a kitten. :heehee:

[suanne]

With or without the clothes I am still a guy. I am sure I would act no different if I were permitted to dress in bed. I take the lead and love it. I feel like that is what my wife wants me to do also. I wish they made men's night wear as sexy as they do womens lingerie. I think the before play would take on a new meaning for both of us. But I guess I will never know.

Suanne (the guy)

[Sky]

There is definitely a desire to identify as a woman in bed. How about for you all?

Absolutely yes. Now pass the Astroglide, please. (Damn GGs can do pretty well without this stuff...)

[suchacutie]

There is no doubt that dressing affects the senses, and in many ways it is clearly sensual....but.

Without the brain physical pleasure doesn't get too far, and there is nothing better than delving into the erotic side of the brain of your partner. As we can all see from these posts, there are as many variations on this theme as there are people (maybe more!). It seems to me that this is the perfect opportunity to open up the usually tightly closed box of both of your deepest, and maybe darkest, thoughts, the ones that you hide away tightly, and both of you share. That is the only way you will know the specific answer to your question.

That sharing, and the drive to find something new within both of you, is, in my opinion, the best!

good luck!
tina

[Paulette]

It's all part of the dream. My girlfriend and I have changed roles a few times and it alls ways sends her over the top. I like to have make love to me in a way that I would do to her. She likes to assume a take charge role at times having me llie on my stomach so that she can hump my bottom. The first few times she went over the top seversal times before flipping me over and finishing the job. She asked if I liked it and when I told her that I did she said that she would let me know when she was taking me instead of me taking her.

I can always tell when she wants to be on top as she will sit next to me and start playing with my breast and kissing me hard. Sometimes she will ask me to get ready for bed which is our code that tells me that it is time for me to put on makeup and panties and bra along with my night gown. At times like this I am submissive to her desires and pleasure. If I am all ready dressed I will take the lead ans seduce her like a lesbian lover would do. My lady has had a bi- relationship and has told me what liked from her lover and I try to do the same.

She recently has brought some toys into the game and I am trying to get used to seeing her with it and adjusting to the feelings. I do not think I would want to have a real man do the things that she has done to me as I think I am basically hetro.

[Audra Sinclair]

I love the feel of the night gown and panties while I make love. I can still be the dominant one but the night gown enhances the experience.

[mikala]

I love my crossdressing clothes I have on right now.... the wife is out right now and I am wearing her bra (my favorite one), my new thigh high hose, and her black panties...

I am so thrilled to be dressed, asn I can't wait for her to get home so we can make-out...

It all started a couple years ago when I got caught dresses.... she was pretty steamed, but laughed about it later.... then I told her I always wanted to wear this certain bra when we have sex.... this was in the context of her telling me about her lesbian experiences when she was a teenager... this all happened when I weighed in at 200... now I am down to 155 and I can fit into most of her clothes except the ones made for narrow shoulders....

So after a trip to Calif (Lydia's TV fashions) I came home with some clothes and breasts (the glue on type, with latext around the edges)... I wasn't sure how she'd react to 4 boobs in bed.... so I got dressed in the sexiest bra, garters, panties, lipstick I could find... and presented myself one evening when the lights were low.... she was a little relunctant (maybe she was unsure about her sexual feeling for a "female".... or maybe she didn't want me to know...)

Anyway we had great sex, and she loved feeling me up (rubbing he hands all over my low cut fredericks-of-hollywood demi cut traps) and rubbing her breasts against mine... she was totally turned on the whole time...

If I could have only experienced this years ago I would have been so much happier

Mikala

[Annette49]

I am definitley submissive, especially when dressed.

Annette