Ashleigh's in trouble

[Ashleigh]

I guess it was too good to be true. When I finally came out to my wife a short time ago she said she would support my CDing. It is only in house with no other family present other than her. Recently she has gone the other direction - infatically - which as been causing some friction. I realize my marriage is more important and might have to make some changes to preserve that union.

She wants more information on Cding, why, and what becomes of people "who delve into this behavior" but does not want articles written by CDers (since they are biased). She wants authoritative and "sound" information from professionals.

I guess she could see a therapist here in our community, but that would be dangerous for me since it is a small and opinionated community. PLus the expense would be huge.

She is very afraid that I will turn out gay which is not where I want to go or where I will go. There is no convincing her of this. She has no reason to think this of me either.

Does anyone know of any information that comes from a PhD, clergy, or other authoritative person in this area (field) who has a both sides approach who doesn't just take sides with one side or the other? I guess I am not able to make her understand my feelings, where I am, where I am going, and where I will not be going with this. She will be receptive however to my situation if she can be made to feel more comfortable with it.

I don't want to bury Ashleigh but may have to. :(

Thanks for any responses.

[Wen4cd]

I think the best 'information' you will find ultimately is the trust you have in each other, and the marriage.

[DonnaT]

Print these off.

http://www.marybethsanford.com/sec500/pg01.html

http://www.marybethsanford.com/sec500/pg06.html

Also see what you can find (she really should see this site after reading the above articles) at:

http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm

Another interesting read, written by Reverend David Horton is at:

http://www.gender.org.uk/gendys/1999/08hrton.htm

For Example
Depending on the degree of control and (presumably) the intensity of the individual condition it can be suppressed for a time. The longer-term result can be nervous breakdown, alcoholism or drug dependency, and sometimes violence. Increasing the level of male hormone has led to suicide. Chemical and other aversion techniques are medically increasingly unacceptable, and by the evidence unsuccessful. Psychotherapy can help someone to come to terms with the condition but I am not aware that this stops the behaviour, although it may help the person to better balance it with the rest of his life. Sometimes age and frailty makes it impossible, but without removing the inner desire! There are blind, disabled and very old people who are transgendered.


My wife went through the same thing. On again-Off again. She'll come around.

[Ashleigh]

Wen, Donna, Julie,

Thank you so much. Here's hoping! :confused:
Ash

[Julie]

Good luck Ashleigh, I hope everything works out for you.

JJ

[Sweet Susan]

This is a tough bind to be in. Good luck. Hope everything works out.

[Ashleigh]

Well, my wife read an article that changed her stress about CDing and is much more comfortable about my CDing. In fact, we went to town last night to do some shopping, and I was (for the first time) allowed to go wearing my holdups, my heels, my bra (under my coat), perfume, and a neat necklace (her favorite). Now, I did not wear the heels in the store, but wore everything else (a big step for her). I changed back into my heels when we headed back home. I know that for most of you that would not be such a big deal given your experience, but for me it was a huge step in the right direction. By the way, driving in 3.75" heels is not as difficult as I thought. To coin a phrase: "the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time". So, one bite at a time it is. She also bought me a neat color of lipstick to be worn at home only of course. We are going to purchase a bottle of perfume she and I liked a lot at Victoria's Secret (in their holiday catalog).

If anyone is interested the site where this article is at:
ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/anima.htm

All is well.

Ash
:D :D :D :D

[DonnaT]

YEAH!!!!! http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_5_104.gif

Let her take the lead for a while and don't go overboard. When out and buying for Ashleigh, stop her every once in a while and say, "What about you?"

[Ashleigh]

Good advice. Will do. In fact I did so last night.
Thanks!!

[KewTnCurvy GG]

I'm sooooo happy for you grrl! Sorry I didn't rally sooner to your corner here but I'm glad things are working out and I care:)

hugs
kew

[DeniseNY]

Ashleigh,

Very glad to hear things went OK..Glad to hear the mrs. is coming around. Hang in there, and enjoy the ride. Always remember that the wife comes first though. You take care of her, she'll take care of you...

Again, I'm very happy for you.

Hugs,
Denise

[Julie]

I'm very pleased for you Ashleigh after your initial post one wouldn't have thought we'd be hearing anything this positive so soon. Long may it continue.

JJ

[Sharon]

It all sounds wonderful Ashleigh! And just in time for the holidays! :)
Keep us posted!!
Sharon