Wives/SO's of Crossdressers

[CDLauraNJ]

I was just wondering how other CD's wives feel about their crossdressing? I told my wife about my crossdressing about a year before we got married. She has never fully accepted it, although she "tolerates" it's existance. I use the word loosely because she is far from accepting. I think she mostly deals with my CDing through denial. I was just wondering how other sisters wives were. Thanks.

Laura



By the way, we have been married 3 years and otherwise going strong.

[Deanna2]

Like you - not a 100 percent accepting, but reasonably tolerant.

[CDsWifey GG]

My hubby and I have been a couple for 8yrs , just got married on the 22nd he told me about a month before our wedding. For 48 hours I was insane but then came to realize I have always loved all of him, including his "feminine" side, his sensitivity, etc... As of right now I am having a ball with it. down the road it may get harder, and there have been some concerns, and some things I dont fully understand, but I am having fun helping him dress, learning and growing alongside him. I am so glad he finally opened up to me about it and I feel blessed to be able to share in this with him. It is all new and we both still have much to learn and experience but for now, its a blast.

[Debbie GG]

Hi.

I have been married to a cd for 30 years. I have known about his dressing longer but I really don't remember exactly how long. Everyone has things their SO is less than thrilled about. I expect this is often the case with dressing for SO's of cds. If you (or your SO) really think about it, there are a lot of things you could do that are much worse. If most cds are like my SO they don't try to push their "hobby" onto others, they don't hurt anyone by dressing and try to be considerate of the feelings of others in the household. Currently, I like to watch cooking shows and work on sudoku. I suspect this drives my SO crazy as he is not into either of these things. Well, I try to be considerate and watch my cooking shows where he doesn't have to see them.

We also try to have some activities we can do together. We both have our amateur radio licenses so we check into nets and just talk together. We also went to a hamfest recently. If it ever cools off in Kansas, we are planning to try to walk together for exercise. At our age you need it even if you aren't an amateur gourmet cook.

Hang in there. Encourage your SO to join the forum if you think talking to other SOs would help.

:hugs:

Debbie GG

[Sarah Rabbit]

My Wife is O.K.. She helps me shop and advises meAas long as it does not become the dominant thing in my Life, things should stay as they are. :bs:

Sarah R. :bunny:

[GG Vanya]

Married to a CD seven years, love all aspects of the man I married, and look forward to many more years together.

I actually enjoy shopping for Trudi, as I can spend money on pretty things and feel no guilt! :D In fact, I'll buy for her before I buy for myself.

I am married to, and hopelessly in love with, the quintessential "sensitive male"!:love:

[tekla west]

I wonder how many of those women would be happier if he chased skirts insteed of wearing them?

[Eugenie]

To answer the initial question of that thread, my wife hates my x-dressing but tolerates it as she has come to realize that I can't resist the urge. She lets me buy my clothes and have a closet full of them... She doesn't want to see me "en femme" nor speak about the subject.


I wonder how many of those women would be happier if he chased skirts insteed of wearing them?

About telkla's comment, I have to say that my wife has clearly told me that she didn't mind me looking for affairs and that she would much prefer that than seeing me x-dressing. This was confirmed recently when she discovered that I had told a GG friend of ours about my x-dressing. She stated that she would have prefered to see me having an affair with her rather than sharing that "secret" with her.

I think her idea that having affairs is preferable to x-dressing is linked to the traditional view that seeking partners for a male is a proof of his masculine virility, something rather accepted in the French culture, while X-dressing is just the opposite and poorly accepted...

I dont buy that idea at all. In fact, from as early as I can recall, I was a lousy male in that respect... I need tenderness more than conquests. Even though I've had affairs, they were always with women I highly respected and they lasted for years. When they stopped I kept excellent friendly relations with them.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[noname]

About telkla's comment, I have to say that my wife has clearly told me that she didn't mind me looking for affairs and that she would much prefer that than seeing me x-dressing.

Shocking. I've thought of that though. From posts here it seems many gg are more upset about cd'ing that an affair.

My wife accepts it as long as it's low key, which is what I am anyway. So far everything has been pretty cool.

[Misty_cder]

I am a very lucky gal to have a wife who accepts, and helps with, my dressing. I first told her about my dressing while we were dating. She asked a few questions about why do I do it, and that was the end of it. Over time, she started helping me select items what were more approprate for my frame. The only request she has made is to not dress when our dauther could see me. Given all the support my wife has given me, accommodating her request is the least I can do for her.

[Joy Carter]

Without going into it she is in denyal about it as she is with a lot of other things. At this point I'm satisfied with under dressing just validates my transgendered feelings about my self. But I want to go out with others and get to know others like me. It has been so great to be here meeting others and making friends. My wifes is so wonderful about many things and I'm totaly understanding of her feelings on the subject. I'm with her till the end and we agree on that. She just dosen't want to see me dressed.:happy:

[rosiegurl]

thankfully, i have to say my SO is 100% accepting with it. she loves to see me dressed.

in fact, I would say at times, she is more accepting than I am *grins* she's always commenting on taking me out somewhere, but I am way to chicken at the moment, except on dark nights for a drive *chuckles*

[Eugenie]

Shocking. I've thought of that though. From posts here it seems many gg are more upset about cd'ing that an affair.


Maybe I should have given some background. My wife and I lived through the "happy sixties" period: Hippies and flower power (no drugs for us though). A time of sexual freedom where open mariage and wife swapping was rather common if not frequent. All this was pretty much killed by the apparition of AIDS...

So for us, and given that background, having an affair, be it my wife or me, doesn't have the same meaning as it may have for others. We find nothing shocking about it, providing it is done with mutual consent.

While my x-dressing is seen by her as me losing my masculinity, something she resents.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[EricaCD]

If mine wishes to do so, she can express her own opinion on the subject.

Erica

Added: And so she did :) (HeleneGG)

[CDLauraNJ]

When I initially told my wife, almost five years ago, I tried to turn her on to some of the support groups. She wanted no part of it and was afraid that they were going to try to manipulate her into accepting my crossdressing. Currently her acceptance varies day to day. Some days I can go shopping with her and make comments about how I like this and that and it's like we are two girls out having fun. Other times she will just say "You are freaking me out". When we are able to have candid conversations she tells me that she hates it but she loves me and that it is something that we will just work through. My problems is that I often feel that I am "pushing the envelope" and someday she will have had enough. Of course the easy anwser is to not push the envelope but I also have the need to dress and feel validated just like everyone else. I'm sure a lot of you go through the same dillemna.

[Annette_boy]

Hi Ladys

my late wife about Annette befort we were Married and was very cool and accepting about it we wore matching nighties on our wedding night and were best girl friends
I was also her devoted slavegirl and She my loving Mistress but thats another story
we hac 30 wonderful years before she passes away and she is at peace now
Love and Huggs
Annette

[SherryLynn GG]

Shocking. I've thought of that though. From posts here it seems many gg are more upset about cd'ing that an affair.

My wife accepts it as long as it's low key, which is what I am anyway. So far everything has been pretty cool.

Id have to say id much rather my hubby wear a skirt as cheat on me...I'll leave him if he cheats.

[HeleneGG]

I'm working on acceptance. Most days, I'm okay with the dressing, we talk about it casually and we've done a lot of window shopping and some in-person shopping together. I'm working very hard on seeing this as part of the person I married--and the reason my spouse has always been interested in a lot of the things that interest me (you know, traditionally girly stuff), part of the reason we're still together after 18 years. Some days, though, I still get a knee-jerk, fingers-in-the-ears, la-la-la, "I can't hear you!!" reaction when I try to think about it.

We're working on it together-which is what the whole marriage thing is about, right?

[Megan72]

One of the lucky ones here, my Wife is accepting of my lifestyle, as long as I am faithful. That is an easy requirment for me.

[adora]

I guess that I am one the lucky girls that has a SO who is more than accepting...she is encouraging in every sense of the word. Annette is helpful with wardrobe (she just surprised me with a lovely lilac bolero), helpful with makeup and always flattering with praise for my appearance.

There are times that Anette asks me to dress, be it for a party with freinds or just intimate times at home alone.

Yes, adora is a very lucky girl.

[tammie]

Hi Everyone: My SO knew quite a while ago that I wear women's panties every day. She also knows I have more, slips bras pantiegirdles etc. But she doesn't like it or want to see them, or me in them. Our situation is that we R in a long term relationship without the benefit/complication of marriage. I told her if she is uneasy or unwilling to accept me then she should say goodbye.

Since I am generous and loving and tolerant of her various little quirks (yes we all have them) she is willing to put up with me wearing panties but not more. I have tried to get her to wear my panties, she won't. I have worn hers once, I got yelled at for it. She knows if she doesn't want to see things she won't like, to not open my drawers or go thru my closet. She has opened my mail (package) with a new pantiegirdle and flipped out. She has read my email as well, something I would never do to another person. That is where we R at now.

To Debbie GG, I am also an amatuer operator. On another forum I discovered a rather high percentage of CDs R engineers and amateurs. Another large segment is in high stress types of careers IE law enforcement public safety, military. Perhaps its something that appeals to our brain processes.

[lahr]

Whem i'm in hose and heels my wife is cool with it. I mean to tell ya she enjoyes it as much as me, perhaps its because she has has a (shoe thing) herself..about 70 pairs. Uusually we both wear stockings and stilettos during sex. What a mind blower. This really enhances the overall experience. Twice she has helped me shop for mini skits, garter belts, panties ect but she becomes uneasy if I dress fully en femme in her presence.

[Eugenie]

Id have to say id much rather my hubby wear a skirt as cheat on me...I'll leave him if he cheats.

Just for information, I'm not cheating on my wife when I had an affair: I always told her. And when she was still interested in sex (which is unfortunatelly no longer the case), she would tell me if she had an affair.

As I said, we're "part of the Happy sixties generation"...

Now, if I was to have an affair and not tell her, that she wouldn't accept.

Actually, it makes me feel bad that I have to hide my x-dressing from her and not be open about it. She knows but prefers not to speak about it and it makes her feel bad to see me dressed. So that's why I have to hide.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Sarah Rabbit]

Although my Wife is accepting of Sarah and I have told my family, she has not told anyone in her family. I suspect she feels embarressed (in the eyes of her family) that she is married to a Crossdresser (feeling that in their eyes, she can not do better) Perhaps like some other GG's, she may feel it would be better for an affair to be made 'Public' than HIS 'Crossdressing'

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Lila GG]

My husband's crossdressing is something we both participate in, have fun with, and that in many ways brings us closer together.

Him having an affair would pretty much be the opposite (at least for me); and would undermine everything that is important in our relationship, including honesty, trust, monogamy... we weren't born yet in the sixties, and I can't imagine him ever "asking" to get involved physically with another woman (or man), but my answer would most definitely be no.

Lila

[tekla west]

Aside from the entire 60s deal, its not that uncommon for couples getting up there in age to have the man still have the urge and equipment while the woman has pretty much got over it all. At that point lots of men have affairs, or even take a younger mistress which is OK with the wife, as long as she continues to be kept in the style to which she has become acustomed to. At any rate, its not uncommon, nor is a uniquely 60s deal.

[CDBarbie]

My wife also somewhat accepts it. She has known for 25 years that something was up so when I came out to her totally, it was not a shock. She occasionally buys me things, we even shop togather. I do love to shop for clothes, Lingerie and shoes. Still, she sometimes tries to wish it away. She still has not seen "Barbie" totally en femme, and does not want to yet. It is a good start though.

[mskilmer]

My wife and I had an epiphany about 5 years ago ... we realized we LOVE each other and will always be together. EVERYTHING else is secondary, and we've had an incredible time exploring each others fantasies. She loves going out with me en femme and shopping with me ... it's actually brought us closer together!

[Melanie R]

My wife is Melanie's number one supporter. Watch the documentary "Secret Lives of WOmen - Married to Crossdressers" on August 15 at 9 PM CST and hear her describe how she has come to acceptance of my crossdressing.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Marla GG]

I'm a little unusual in that I was looking to date a CD when I met my Angel. I've always been drawn to gender-gifted people, though it took me a long time to realize it. We've been married for 3 1/2 years now, and we are both enjoying Angel's femme side more every day. I have often said that I would never want to be with a "regular" guy again.

All things considered though, I don't know how long I would continue to love it if my hubby was not as considerate of my needs as he is. If he lied to me about his dressing, spent money we couldn't afford, continuously pushed my boundaries (not that I have many), spent more time on the internet than with me, and made me worry that he was going to go out and hook up with men....well, I would turn unaccepting in a hurry. :rolleyes:

Love, Marla xx

[GiGi GG]

Bri and I have been married for 2 years, known each other for a bit over 3 years. I used to think it fun that when I kissed him good-bye, and might have gotten lipstick on his lips, and tried to wipe it off, that he would say that he doesn't mind... and one night when 'in the throes' he asked me to put lipstick on him... and it went from there - mostly with my blessing and encouragement. There were moments of jealousy, which Bri laughs as whenever I mention it.. but all in all, things are great.

Now, I love the feeling of his silkies when we go to bed... the touchy-feely of his softness and hardness, all at the same time... Brianna knows that I don't like comming home from work and finding him dressed - I don't care if he dresses when I'm not home, as he works from home, I just don't want to come home to Brianna - unless she's in a French Maid outfit and the house is spot-less:hugs:

Just before we met, I weighed about 60# more than I do, and still had many of the larger sized clothing that I kept meaning to donate, but never got around to it... Brianna discovered that many items worked for her, and it' still funny to see her in stuff that was once part of my wardrobe :heehee:

Do I ask Bri to dress?? Well, I guess that I get concerned if she doesn't in a week or so... and ask if everything is OK, and if she wants to dress it's ok... We have some nights when it works, and I do get turned on by Bri and the 'girl-talk' that it inspires. I am bi-sexual, so that also let's the fantasies fly, and the role-play can be really awesome... Bri gives a good lap-dance, in case you're wondering...:D

We are also involved in the Swinger Lifestlye, so cheating is not an issue, as we always play together and choose our friends together. Bri stays home when we play (but we tell her all about it later, hehe)

I love both my best friends :heehee:

Gigi - Brianna's Wife

[Sandra]

Nigella is a Cder 24/7 has know male clothing at all, I think that shows how much I accept her CDing :happy:

[Jasmine Ellis]

I told my wife about two weeks ago, we have gone out to buy clothes and also sits with me when I'm on here which she's going to join very soon as soon as we get her an e-mail address set up.

[Mistress_Thorny]

As rosie said before I am 100% accepting of his wanting to dress. I knew before we got together so there was no suprise element involved and I think that is a big thing. I knew what I was getting before I committed to him.

Now do I understand it all? absolutely not. But then there is many things I don't understand about him and this is just one of many. But it is a part of him and I love all of him even those parts I don't understand.

I wish I understood more and that is one of the reasons I am here. To learn more about what makes him tick and how I can be more involved in it.

I wish you peace
MT

[Mary Jane]

My wife is not fully accepting but she does tolerate my dressing better than a few years ago. I only dress when she is away from the house.

[Tanya83]

My wife has known of my "Special interests" since before we married. 10 years next month. She's never really had a problem with it but then I really didn't act on my desires as much as I do now. I think she may be having mixed feelings about it. I purposely was a bit careless with my hiding and she has come to me with what she found and she's expressed concern about just how far I would plan to go. I really can't answer that. Right now I'm satisfied with just wearing panties, stockings and heels on occasion in private. I told her that I have no desire to go out fully dressed as a woman (Which I don't).
She's not naive and does realize that another ten years could go by and I may just want to be "Tanya" full time. I think she might be having a problem with that right now.
I'm so envious of some of the posters wifes that contribute and participate! Maybe some day for me.