Whats all the fuss about?

[NighttimeGirl]

Hello Girls I havent been able to get online recently as I have been at my new job all week and I have missed this place and Linda sooooo much,

Afew things I noticed over the last couple of nights away from home with relative strangers
I posted reg getting ears pierced in a prev thread, I have been with a class of 12 males this week all week, stayed in the same hotel/pub etc and really got to know each other and had a right scream,
I shave all over, my arms the lot and I also was going to do my Fluffys (eyebrows) I have been on the stare this week a lot, I always do, I look at ppl all the time and wonder if they are cd or not, I was looking around at the diff guys eyebrows, arms etc and thinking, mmmm he has plucked or shaped? no big deal, one guy had hairless arms like myself too, and I started to think that I have been too paranoid in the past, I think NO-ONE cares and the more and more I am with ppl the the more and more I think this, Have I been pre judging societys reaction because of the way I feel that society is moulded? I just dont know but I dont care now and the questions that I posted regarding ears pierced and shaping eyebrows seemed really big steps but now they seem really trivial?
P.S sorry about the long post I waffle on sometimes, but I only strive for answers if I can get them from others experience,

:hugs:

:love:

[Michelle Ellis]

I've also been more observant of people around me and what I see on tv etc... the thing I'm looking at mainly is nails, mine are getting way past the average male length and they are square. Every guy I've seen in the last week or two has short nails, rounded, and nearly cut down to nothing.

Self consciousness has a big part to play in all this I think, that's just my nature LOL So I don't know if when I hand something to someone they are looking at my nails or what I'm handing them. It's maddening!

Of course I normally wear long sleeve shirts to avoid the arm shaving thing :p But maybe we are being too paraniod, and a lot would say who the hell cares what anyone thinks anyhow. And I can't agree more, but it's a gradual thing for me, as I get older it bothers me less, and at this point I wish I could do away with it entirely! It's an unwelcome feeling, and I'd do well to be rid of it.

Waffling on hehe I can relate to that too :p

M

[NighttimeGirl]

hee hee you are right Michelle,

I have really smooth arms and sat around a table with the guys and they never looked or mentioned anything, no one noticed?

I looke at the guy opposite and he also had very smooth arms but he was blonde haired I was a little bit intoxicated at the time so I couldnt quite work out what was what?
and another guy had just one reall long finger nail, little one on his left hand?

then I looked at some of the guys eyebrows and they seemed shaped or else he was incredibly lucky

the more and more I think of it the more and more it makes sense,

I have been too self concious and I think that runs in us all, in one way or another in any walk of life,

for instance, every body had to assemble a satelite dish in the class, we had fifteen mins to do so,((yawn yawn))

I was last to do this :heehee: but when the trainer said to me "ok we will give you five extra mins" I destroyed myself!! I was thinking "oh god eveyone is waiting, everyone thinks I am useless, everyone will be talking about me and saying how crap I was, I was sweating and evrything and I started to shake like a leaf, needless to say I didnt get it done at all, I was totally embaressed, and there again is a self concious thing, if I hadnt thought about it I would have been fine, I went in today and assembled it first time in about five mins, no one was there, it was me on my own.
PARANOID!!!, and the guys even offered to help me out the day after with it so they didnt care again,
I think we can destroy ourlselves at the drop of a hat and thinking too much just aint good sometimes,

waffling on again michelle :heehee:

whats that saying?

oh yeah:

Just because you are Paranoid,
Doesnt mean they are not out to get you!!!!

:heehee:

:love:

[Kiera]

Afew things I noticed over the last couple of nights away from home with relative strangers. I posted reg getting ears pierced in a prev thread, I have been with a class of 12 males this week all week, stayed in the same hotel/pub etc and really got to know each other and had a right scream,
I shave all over, my arms the lot and I also was going to do my Fluffys (eyebrows) I have been on the stare this week a lot, I always do, I look at ppl all the time and wonder if they are cd or not, I was looking around at the diff guys eyebrows, arms etc and thinking, mmmm he has plucked or shaped? no big deal, one guy had hairless arms like myself too, and I started to think that I have been too paranoid in the past, I think NO-ONE cares and the more and more I am with ppl the the more and more I think this, Have I been pre judging societys reaction because of the way I feel that society is moulded? I just dont know but I dont care now and the questions that I posted regarding ears pierced and shaping eyebrows seemed really big steps but now they seem really trivial?


You know, I have wondering about shaving my arms too, doing my brows, and piercing my ears. The only reason I havent (everyone knows I cd) is because I think people will notice. I am still in the beginning stage of everyone knowing and while I have not had ANY negative comments made to me, most everyone has just pretended that they dont know. (I know for a fact that they do)
I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I am still unsure of what everyone does think. The people who I have spoken to about it have said that they dont care about the cding, they still see me as the same person I always was... But I guess the problem I have with that is that there is MORE to me than I have ever let them know. And except for the pics on this site noone outside my ex has ever seen me dressed.

So do you think that they would not notice? Perhaps notice but not say anything? Or will they notice and no longer think of me as the friend they have always had? Either way I am definitly going to do something about these eyebrows because I hate them this way.
kiera

[NighttimeGirl]

So do you think that they would not notice? Perhaps notice but not say anything? Or will they notice and no longer think of me as the friend they have always had? Either way I am definitly going to do something about these eyebrows because I hate them this way.
kiera

i am far from a fountain of knowledge on this Kiera (great name by the way) as you can tell I am only speaking from experience I have come accross as of late by being really anlytical about things around me.
Like I say no one noticed my arms, well if they did it wasnt obvious and no one said anyhting, before i used to wear a t shirt and within about five mins of being in a room full of ppl I would cover up or get so paranoid that I would make things worse and be totally consious, well not anymore, I am totally at ease with this and if your friends know you cd then why should it be a prob?
if it is a problem for them, then they aint very good friends in the first place, no one stopped talking to me all this week even if they did notice they warmed to me and I warmed to them and had a really good laugh, I can pull off the guy thing really well and I am somewhat of a comedian anyways in a group of ppl alwyas being able to say the right thing,((social chameleon)) always have been, but I would say on my experience to get your arms done, no real deal from ppl that care, all the close friends I have who know i cd wont stop talking to me because i shaved my armhair etc,

Besides, how do you say to a stranger or someone you know, have you shaved your arms?,

I think it would be more of a diffcult question to ask rather than answer.

You go for it Girl, if it feels right it cant be wrong :hugs:

:love:

[Scotty]

>and another guy had just one reall long finger nail, little one on his left hand?


Wow, now that CAN mean something although maybe not......

A) heard in the 80's coke users used to do this to snort with.
B) ugh, well for personal hygene.
C) Like me, it's one long fingernail not all 10, maybe a slight bit of feminization there?

Lots of things that could mean but it's intentional for sure! :) (Kinda cool too)

I've been plucking my eyebrows slowly over the last year, and not evne my family notices, it's gradual and as I do it more nobody notices, so it was me b eing self conscious, plus when I look around other people have short eybrows too!
Being blonde helps, they're hard enough to see as it is.....

[tekla west]

In fact, I don't think people notice much at all, and those who do, most likely don't care. We bring a lot of this on ourselves. We feel everyone is watching us so close, when in fact you would be lucky if they knew you were alive at all. Second, we think they care about us, when in fact, they do not. Its all about attention to detail in the first instance, and most people do not have attention to huge things, much less detail. Second, everyone has thier own problems, thier own life and all that - they are not worried about you at all.

That dears is the real magic in passing. Its not about how you look, it knowing that most people could care less.

[Lilith Moon]

With eyebrows I think it is sudden change that people notice. Plucked a little at a time will be OK. I have the opposite problem in that mine are quite sparse, but what few eyebrow hairs I do have are stiff and spikey. One of my makeup tasks is to enhance them with an eyebrow pencil.

[Michelle Ellis]

Yeah, the little pinky thing... I was told once that's a coke spoon... or other similar crap to ruin your life.

Eyebrows a little at a time, huh? hmm... *grabs the tweezers* why am I always so slow to the obvious stuff :p


Just because you are Paranoid,
Doesnt mean they are not out to get you!!!!

Boy, that one helps! :D hehe

M

[Joy Carter]

My self I'm conscious of peoples looks particularly when I'm talking to them face to face. My brother was over one night when I noticed a single hair growing out of his one nostril almost an inch long YECH! I'm sure it's because of his age and the lack of close up eyesight that he missed it. So if you run into me and expect me not to notice you shave your arms sorry I would, but I'd never mention it.:D

[Kiera]

...before i used to wear a t shirt and within about five mins of being in a room full of ppl I would cover up or get so paranoid that I would make things worse and be totally consious...if it is a problem for them, then they aint very good friends in the first place, no one stopped talking to me all this week even if they did notice they warmed to me and I warmed to them and had a really good laugh...I would say on my experience to get your arms done, no real deal from ppl that care, all the close friends I have who know i cd wont stop talking to me because i shaved my armhair etc,

Besides, how do you say to a stranger or someone you know, have you shaved your arms?,

I think it would be more of a diffcult question to ask rather than answer.

You go for it Girl, if it feels right it cant be wrong :hugs:

:love:

Thank you for the reasurance, I have been planning on getting a makeover from the lady who introduced me to selling avon, and she had told me pretty much the same thing. I simply wasnt sure if she really meant what she said or if she just wanted to see me in a skirt and make me buy more makeup...:doh: :hypnotized:
By the way Linda, do you even have facial hair? Your complexion is stunning!!! You have to tell me your secret...
kiera

[Michelle Ellis]

A little at a time eh! DOH... I only plucked maybe 10 eyebrow hairs on each side and.... :eek: :o

Thank god I have bangs and a hat! LOL Feel good tho :heehee:

Joy, I notice the little things too, so I expect everyone else will too, and it just isn't the case sometimes.

M

[Bobbie cd]

I just got my ears pierced this week. Even though I have long hair, I always wear it back in a ponytail at work, so the earrings were there for anyone to see. Only one person at work even said anything, and all he said was, "Oh,those are little motorcycles, cool!":D

I also have been shaving the hair off the back of my hands, nobody has noticed (or if they have, no one has said a word or behaved any differently towards me).

Also began a few weeks ago slowly thinning up the eyebrows.
Again, no one has seemed to notice or offered any comment at all.

I also wear my fingernails just slightly long compared to the general male population, but nothing too obvious and I do not wear polish to work. (Long nails make typing on the keyboard a real bitch anyway!)

I think Tekla and the others have it pretty much right.
Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to pay much attention to the details of anybody elses'.:2c:

[Marla GG]

I started to think that I have been too paranoid in the past, I think NO-ONE cares and the more and more I am with ppl the the more and more I think this, Have I been pre judging societys reaction because of the way I feel that society is moulded? I just dont know but I dont care now and the questions that I posted regarding ears pierced and shaping eyebrows seemed really big steps but now they seem really trivial?

Good for you Linda, you're dead right. NO ONE CARES. No one even notices. There are plenty of guys with no hair on their arms or legs (for a variety of reasons), plenty with thin eyebrows, and plenty with pierced ears. Nobody is going to make the connection between these things and you being a crossdresser, if they even notice in the first place.

The one person who will notice is your girlfriend, but as long as she likes it, you have nothing to worry about. Enjoy!

Hugs,
Marla xx

[Calliope]

From my experience, guys just don't look at each other's arms. Women, on the other hand, often spot a lot.

I've collected a lot of bemused, approving smiles from the latter this week. Gender defectors are cool.

[NighttimeGirl]

Good for you Linda, you're dead right. NO ONE CARES. No one even notices. There are plenty of guys with no hair on their arms or legs (for a variety of reasons), plenty with thin eyebrows, and plenty with pierced ears. Nobody is going to make the connection between these things and you being a crossdresser, if they even notice in the first place.

The one person who will notice is your girlfriend, but as long as she likes it, you have nothing to worry about. Enjoy!

Hugs,
Marla xx

oh yeah she will notice alright but we discussed this and it isnt just to do with being CD we both agreed anyway it is good to take care of yourself, she is encouraging me to have a all over body wax which I will go for no probs and my brows, :happy:

how does that song go?

Aint no stoppin us now!!! :heehee:

ps Kiera there is no secret, I do shave but not very often due to having Kallmans syndrome, it keeps you looking young which is a real bonus and when I shave it is really smooth, oh yeah also never ever use soap on my face, I never have just water and moisteriser and I had no probs, you should see my dad!! he is like the thing from the fantastic four!!!

twas so lucky I take after my mother

[Jasmine Ellis]

my nails are long and my wife cuts them for me to keep them looking nice