Please wish me luck

[Rachel Ann]

On Sunday, I am coming out for the first time to a RL non-TG (GG) friend. I already sent her a long letter but don't really know her reaction yet. I chose her because she has been a dear friend, and my spiritual adviser, for over 20 years.

There just had to be SOMEBODY outside our world. I am blessed with many friends, and they and my family are hip enough to at least try to be supportive. But at the end of the day, it would be selfish of me to put them through those changes. Especially my son.

So Ann gets the brass ring. (Rachel Ann has her second name in honor of her, and of my sister, also an Ann.)

Oh yes - I will also need your thoughts (and prayers, if you do that) on Wednesday, I am going to the pretrial settlement conference with my soon-to-be-ex, Pallas. Us, our lawyers, a judge and a court stenographer. Nothing less than my entire future is at stake!

Your needy friend

[Sharon]

Rachel Ann,
Yes, you certainly will be in my thoughts both days.
I'm sure everything will go wonderfully Sunday. Your friend sounds like a true friend who has already accepted you for who you are. You're just introducing her to another facet.
Wednesday will come and go and no matter how things turn out, I'm sure you'll do fine. Just try to relax and not put so much pressure on yourself.
Love,
Sharon

[Stephanie Brooks]

Rachel Ann,

My thoughts tomorrow and on Wednesday will be with you!!!!!!!!! Good luck!!!!!!!!

My girl buddy "Blade" has known of Stephanie for most of our 14 year friendship. When we first met, I'd not yet ventured out in the real world, and had no femme name. I took Blade's middle name for my middle name - Ann. :p

May your friend Ann come to accept Rachel Ann.

On the divorce, may the short and long term pains - financial and emotional - be minimal.

*HUGS*

[paulaN]

Wish you the best of luck on both days. you,re gona need it on wed. for sure.

[DonnaT]

Here's hoping and praying that all goes well for you.

Your letter to Ann has opened the door, and she hasn't shut it if she is still willing to meet. That's a good sign!

[Pauline Wendy]

Rachel

I wish you all the very best, and look forward to hearing what a success it was!

Love
Wendy

[Tristen Cox]

On Sunday, I am coming out for the first time to a RL non-TG (GG) friend. I already sent her a long letter but don't really know her reaction yet. I chose her because she has been a dear friend, and my spiritual adviser, for over 20 years.

There just had to be SOMEBODY outside our world. I am blessed with many friends, and they and my family are hip enough to at least try to be supportive. But at the end of the day, it would be selfish of me to put them through those changes. Especially my son.

So Ann gets the brass ring. (Rachel Ann has her second name in honor of her, and of my sister, also an Ann.)

Oh yes - I will also need your thoughts (and prayers, if you do that) on Wednesday, I am going to the pretrial settlement conference with my soon-to-be-ex, Pallas. Us, our lawyers, a judge and a court stenographer. Nothing less than my entire future is at stake!

Your needy friend

Rachel best wishes for you today (Sun) and my prayers and love to you for a successful outcome Wednesday. I'll be with you in spirit. May this finally be the end of your worries..and good luck my friend.

*hugs*.. big big *hugs*
Tristen

[Rachel Ann]

Thank you all for your loving support <3.

Well, I had my (2 hours on the phone) coming-out talk with Ann today. I had sent her a long letter in advance. She is the Ann in whose honor I chose my second name. (And I think that she was not just flattered, but honored, by that.) We have been close for over 20 years, and she is my spiritual advisor. It would have been better in person, but she lives too far away.

There was some unnecessary anxiety on my part about her reaction because I was not sure of her reaction to my letter - a critical email from her went astray when Norton decided that it was spam.

She was wonderfully supportive and agreed that this was something I needed a LOT. She had known about Rachel for a number of years but I had never connected dressing (which I thought of as a perversion on my part) to knowing Rachel on a psychic level.

Now that I know what transgender means, and that I am that, I am SO relieved that this is a real thing. I have all of my sisters here to thank for that! This is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

Ironically, she congratulated me on my courage. I never thought of it as courage, just as following my dream. :)

The only negative was that she thought that my picture looked like a guy in a dress. HOWEVER I chose her to come out to because I knew I should count on her 100% honesty, and I know that however sweet you all are, the rule in our world is to NEVER say anything negative about a girl's looks. Also, the fact that she has known me for so long as a boy had to influence her perception. I'll hit her again in 6 months when I have worked my way up some.

On the positive side, she said that I have great legs (I am very vain about that) and that Joanna is VERY PRETTY.

At the end of the day, I just HAD to come out to at least one person in Real Life. I chose well. :) I have many wonderful friends, and they and my family are all hip enough to be supportive - but I see no need to put them through those changes. Especially my son. It would be selfish on my part.

One thing that came up that I had not thought of before. A lot of things that I would like in life depend on some other person. But NOBODY can ever take this away from me!

So thank you and God bless you, my dear friend Ann. And all of you.

Further update on Wednesday afternoon on the bigger deal, my property settlement conference, upon which nothing less than my entire future is at stake *eek*.

Love hugs kisses

Rachel Ann xxx

[babe4life]

Dear Rachel Ann,

WOW. That is just so wonderful! And yes, you do have stunning legs ;)

Congratulations. I am SO happy for you. You really deserve a wonderful RL friend too to share this with.

Much love,
Vicky

[Stephanie Brooks]

Congratulations Rachel Ann! I'm glad things went well for you. :D

Sunday down, Wednesday to go...

[Tamara Croft]

You have stunning legs??? ooOOooohh.... show me pics :) I bet you are so relieved that it went so well with your friend. If there were more people like that in this world... it would be a much better place.

Tamara x

P.S. Pics...... lemme seeeeeee :p

[Rachel Ann]

You have stunning legs??? ooOOooohh.... show me pics :)
I hope so, I am very vain about them!

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3443

[Sharon]

Congratulations Rachel Ann! It's wonderful confiding with those closest to us, isn't it? :)
Wednesday will be a breeze compared with this. On Sunday, you were taking a step at the beginning your new life; on Wednesday, no matter what happens, you'll just be closing the book on your old life.

That sounds pretty sappy doesn't it? But I really believe it!

Love,
Sharon

[Jen_TGCD]

Well, I had my (2 hours on the phone) coming-out talk with Ann today.

Ironically, she congratulated me on my courage. I never thought of it as courage, just as following my dream. :)

The only negative was that she said that my picture looked like a guy in a dress. HOWEVER I chose her to come out to because I knew I should count on her 100% honesty

One thing that came out that I had not thought of before. A lot of things that I would like in life depend on some other person. But NOBODY can ever take this away from me!
Rachel Ann xxxWell... congratulations to you! Another step on your journey! Glad it went well, Rachel!!!

Courage is a big part of being transgender. The mantra you always hear in this community is: It takes balls to be a crossdresser! And it's true. None of us chose to have all this conflict in our lives but it takes courage to accept it and make it a natural part of our lives. Plus, it takes an extraordinary amount of courage and confidence to share this with others.

Now, I disagree that you look like a guy in a dress. You do look like a crossdresser, yes! (And a happy one, at that!!!) We just don't have the right hormones and bodies to look completely female. The most we can hope for is to look attactive, proud and confident and maybe blend in when we are out and about. The important thing, though, is to be free of gender limitations and enjoy this life, as it is!

And, yes... CDing is a very personal expression of who you are. It's generally a very introverted activity that we deal with by ourselves. You are right... no one can take it away from you... ever. You have made it to this point in your life... we can help and encourage... but it's still all about YOU!!! And you have chosen to share it with someone else. Congratulations, once again! http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

Take care... and know that we are hoping that all goes well with this next challenge! :)

[Julie]

Rachel Ann I'm so happy things went well for you. Long may the progress continue.

JJ

[AnnaMaria]

Rachel,

I am happy and encouraged to hear about your personal triumph. It makes my day when I hear about one of us girls that has been excepted by a peer or close friend. It makes me realize that not all the people in the world have been infected by the hatred that is so prevelent in our society.

As for wednesday, all I can say is good luck. I just went through the same thing in "01 so I know the emotional drain that it can have on a girl. I can only hope that your experience in more amicable than mine was. My prayers are with you.

huggs
anna

[Rachel Ann]

Courage is a big part of being transgender. The mantra you always hear in this community is: It takes balls to be a crossdresser! And it's true.
I shared your responses with Ann, who is glad that I have all of you! Her note included "P.S. 'It takes balls to be a crossdresser!' Love it!!"

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Congrats and Big Hugs Rachel Ann:)

kew

[Rachel Ann]

Oh yes - I will also need your thoughts (and prayers, if you do that) on Wednesday, I am going to the pretrial settlement conference with my soon-to-be-ex, Pallas. Us, our lawyers, a judge and a court stenographer. Nothing less than my entire future is at stake!
Thank you ALL.

She didn't show and her lawyer got a continuance until April. Some sort of conference with professional mediator to be scheduled in Jan or Feb.

For various reasons, which I'm not up to going in to right now, this more or less ruins me.

I'm beginning to wonder about my lawyer but there is no changing horses now.

Rick is taking the day to just be infuriated. Tomorrow we will start thinking of what to do. I don't think he's going to be up to taking me to I Love It tonight and I am not going to push it.

Love

[Tristen Cox]

Thank you ALL.

She didn't show and her lawyer got a continuance until April. Some sort of conference with professional mediator to be scheduled in Jan or Feb.

For various reasons, which I'm not up to going in to right now, this more or less ruins me.

I'm beginning to wonder about my lawyer but there is no changing horses now.

Rick is taking the day to just be infuriated. Tomorrow we will start thinking of what to do. I don't think he's going to be up to taking me to I Love It tonight and I am not going to push it.

Love

:( Rachel I'm so sorry that happened really, was hoping it would be over for you after everything you've already been through. When or if you want to vent off some steam your friend is here to listen. You're doing your best and I admire your strength. When you can, get out of there and try to get your mind off things for a bit. It's not much but you may feel a little better for awhile. My heart goes out to you, and my shoulder's here to lean on.

Love you
T

[Stephanie Brooks]

So sorry Rachel Ann. :(

I imagine you've searched the California Code and divorce procedures in the Golden State, and are as armed as practicable wrt how to protect yourself, yes?

Good luck Lady! Hope things aren't as bad as they seem. And screw the %*$#^, I'd go out anyway. Gotta still live.

[Stephanie Brooks]

Rachel,

Please forgive my indiscretion in my prior response. My reaction was a bit more lower brain, and therefore a bit less considered. Troubles notwithstanding, you may not consider your soon-to-be exwife to be horrible; not being able to live with someone doesn't necessarily translate to them being a shrew (or other 5 letter nouns).

[Sharon]

Rachel,

Please forgive my indiscretion in my prior response. My reaction was a bit more lower brain, and therefore a bit less considered. Troubles notwithstanding, you may not consider your soon-to-be exwife to be horrible; not being able to live with someone doesn't necessarily translate to them being a shrew (or other 5 letter nouns).

Ahhh..., there's the Stephanie we love. :)

Just hang in there Rachel Ann. I don't know what else to say to you, but you'll be in my thoughts through to the end.

[Ashleigh]

Rachel, congrats on the deal with Ann. I think it is absolutely wonderful. As far as the other trial you're experiencing, we are hurting with you. Wish I knew what to say to help ease things. Just keep close. We are here for you when you need us.

[Rachel Ann]

Rachel,
Please forgive my indiscretion in my prior response. My reaction was a bit more lower brain, and therefore a bit less considered. Troubles notwithstanding, you may not consider your soon-to-be exwife to be horrible; not being able to live with someone doesn't necessarily translate to them being a shrew (or other 5 letter nouns).
Stephanie, how thoughful of you!. However you need not apologize in this case. Shrew - even virago - is putting it mildly.

Up until it became obvious that we weren't going to make it, I admit that there was plenty of blame to go around. However her conduct since I started to try to work out a settlement on the house (over 2 years now) has been appalling.

I never hated her but I will if she succeeds at her present tactics. Basically she is wrangling delay after delay (the legal system makes that easy) in hopes that my creditors will levy liens on the property. Her thinking is: even if I must pay the money, Rick won't get it.

She could have gotten away for a lot less money had she been willing to negotiate something reasonable a year ago, and I could have settled most of my debts for pennies on the dollar. However, she doesn't mind if she gets hurt as long as I get hurt worse. She has become totally psycho about this.

This shouldn't have needed to involve lawyers - we aren't married and we have no children together. It's just the house. Every time I tried to talk to her she would start yelling and screaming and sometimes throw things. If I wrote something down for her she would tear it up and throw the pieces at me. At one point we agreed on a trusted friend to act as a mediator. After a little while she started yelling and screaming at him, so he left.

She has also done some incredibly vicious personal stuff but I don't need to go in to it here. She wants me to end up homeless and penniless, and to lose all of my posessions. She just might accomplish that. I am also starting to have my doubts about my lawyer but it's too late to do anything about that now.

She is also trying to starve me out. I expect that her next move will be to cut off my health insurance (I have been paying the premiums as a domestic partner on her group plan at her work). My only income is a private disability benefit that doesn't quite cover food, medical and gas.

I can't start the process of applying for SSI and MediCal until this is over because you can't have any money at all, or get any, while you are doing that. (The process takes about a year).

I resolved to take the high road in this, not airing dirty linen to RL friends, not to say anything negative about her personally, and not forcing any of our friends to choose between us. This doesn't seem to have done me any particular good, and she is having tons o' fun doing all three. However I am going to try to stick to my resolution for the time being.

I'm still sort of in shock over this. After a nice nap, Rick took me to I Love It, though, that was nice. :)

So, Stephanie, please feel free to call her anything you like.

Love

[Wendy me]

my hart goes out to you .....so manny hold on to fight to the end like thay are at war i have freinds that foght over stupid things till thay bouth lost every thing........
years ago while "he" was a real asshole my wife wanted a diviorce i said you can have everything.......we struggled through still together (the girl is a saint)
i hope you can be strohg through it all my thoughts and prayers will be for you in this troubling time

be strong , be safe ,try to be sane
huge huggs to you

[Tristen Cox]

Sorry to be bitter but after seeing what this is doing to you Rachel, I just hope that she gets what she deserves... nothing