Went out with lesbians to pride parade!

[JenniferMint]

My friend dragged me out to go to the pride parade yesterday. It was six lesbians and me! It was fun, being dressed as a girl, hanging out with just other girls (I'd have felt weird if I was the only guy with a group of six girls), having them call me by my girl name, etc.

I wonder if any of them thought I was a GG. Some of them have never met me since yesterday. I think I can't pass if you look at me from the front, though---my facial features look too male. :(

[Billijo49504]

How well you passed isn't important. The fact that you had a good time is important. It's wonderful they treated you like a sister....BJ

[Calliope]

Yeh, inclusion is more important than passing. Right on for you!

[tekla west]

Lesbians are our most natural association I think. And at at pride parade why would you want to pass, the idea there is to be proud in who you are and be accepted for that, celebrated for that, and enjoy it.

[steffie39]

Jennifer,

Congratulatons on your outing! :yrtw: I'm glad you had a great time!


Steffie

[Eugenie]

I envy you... I would like very much to attend the next Gay Pride in Paris (I live in France).

I almost did attend the last one. My daughter is homosexual. She and her girlfriend went to Paris on June 25. I tentatively said I would join them to support them, to which my daufghter reacted very positively (I didn't tell I would want to be "en femme" though).

When I mentionned my intention to my wife, she reacted negatively: "Do you really want to make a coming out to every one in the family?" (She said that even though I had not mentionned to her either that I intended be "en femme"). But she had read me... She's very clever...

I will try to better prepare my participation to next year's gay pride :o yet I don't want to go without telling my wife... And I would also have to do a coming out to my daughter before hand... I don't think she would appreciate seeing me appear "en femme" without warning.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Jasmine Ellis]

sounds like great fun are you going to do it again

[BeckyCath]

Lesbians are our most natural association I think. And at at pride parade why would you want to pass, the idea there is to be proud in who you are and be accepted for that, celebrated for that, and enjoy it.

Mmmmmmmm... You've not met many lesbians have you?

You wouldn't believe the ammount of transphobia in the gay and lesbian community. Yes, some are lovely, and totally accepting, but to be honest, it's my experience that lesbians really don't want us any where near them.

It's hard being a transwoman, lesbains veiw me with distrust, and men veiw me with ridicule... Gay me think i'm a woman, and don't want anything to do with me...

Rock and a hard place...

Pride marches? I try to avoid them, they only enforce the stereotyped preconception that all cross dressers, no matter what flavour are gay men. Is that how we want Joe and Joanna Public to percieve us?

Rebecca

[JenniferMint]

sounds like great fun are you going to do it again

The next time the opportunity comes up, certainly.


Mmmmmmmm... You've not met many lesbians have you?

You wouldn't believe the ammount of transphobia in the gay and lesbian community. Yes, some are lovely, and totally accepting, but to be honest, it's my experience that lesbians really don't want us any where near them.

I haven't had experiences with unaccepting lesbians, although I don't know many lesbians to begin with.

Have you had better experience with bisexual women? I have suspicions that the girl who invited me might be a latent bisexual---she says she's a lesbian, but she's had boyfriends before and she even flirted with me back before I told her I was TS (unless she already sensed it somehow o_O).

[tekla west]

Well, not living over the rainbow, but with only boots on the ground in my little San Francisco (49 square miles surrounded by reality) all I can talk about is what I know from here. But between The City and working in show-biz I know more than a few lesbians, and they are nice to me. But most everyone is nice to me, largely I think, because I'm nice to them. Its a Zen thing.

The hostility between the Lesbians and Transfolks has decreased markedly in the last five years and is now down to scattered elements. In the gay community I've never had any problem. No, they don't all stand up and applaud when I saunter in, and they have not started a holiday for the wonder that is me, but hope springs eternal. I've been accepted in every gay place I've ever been into, from NYC to LA, in Chicago, Denver, Des Moines, Twin Cities and here in SF. From the roughest leather bars to the trendiest discos. Perhaps its just me, but I find no hostility. But its been a few weeks since I was at one, things might have changed since then.

The Pride Parade here has toned way down in recent years. As more and more gay people who are professionals, middle-class, parents and all that have joined the Parade they have had a leveling effect on the overall event. Plus the rise in events like Folsom Street Fair, the Up Your Alley Fair, the HowWeird Fest, our own version of Berlin's famous Love Parade has given outlet to some of the more fringe elements and over the top stuff, so that stuffing it all into the Pride Parade is not necessary anymore.

As for how Joe Public views us, who cares? I can assure you that no thought ever goes into the planning of the Pride Parade here (over 30 years running now) as to how people in Kansas or Alabama think of us. This is by us, for us, and is us. If the good people of somewhere else don't like it, so what? They don't have to come, they don't have to participate, and they can set up any kind of parade they like too. If elements are over the top, well heck its a parade ain't it, its a kind of performance right? It does not mean they are like that 24/7 anymore than Shriners have to drive those little cars and wear that hat all the time either. Anyone who can not make that distinction is silly, and need not be worried about. I know I don't act like that - or dress like that - at the Parade. I go very demure as a matter of fact. To me its largely a nice day, a great walk, and a chance to see people in daylight I tend to only see at night.

But the Lesbians lets the transfolks march in the Dyke parade on Pink Saturday now. I'm welcome at the girl bars, and all that. Perhaps its just me, I do know how to get along with people very well and I use that ability on a constant basis. I am their guest, and I act like it. They accept me for that. Simple enough. But they dance with me, we buy drinks for each other, play pool, all that.

luv ya, kat

[JenniferMint]

Wow, I just talked to two of my friends from yesterday who know about me, and they think the new people I met just assumed I was a girl!

I don't think I pass, and some other people who know about me and have seen my pictures don't think I pass either... maybe I lucked out and the people I met saw my overall presentation as female and didn't notice the male features of my face.

Then again, maybe they mentally marked me as a crossdresser, but just didn't say anything to be polite (it was a GLBT-friendly event after all). :P I don't know.

Addendum to the above: I just saw the pictures that were taken of me that day, and I retract my "I don't think I pass" comment.

Last time I was dressed, my pictures didn't look very feminine, despite me wearing the exact same clothes as this time! I was embarassed last time though, due to it being my first time dressed, so I think it might have shown in my facial expression. Also, I was specifically posing for pictures last time. But this time, I was just hanging out with friends, and one of them took pictures of us in a more natural setting.

I think I just looked like a slightly awkward girl in those pictures. I may be getting better at presenting as a girl! And of course, normally when one sees someone who outwardly appears to be a girl, they aren't going to look for cues whether that person is actually a crossdresser, so that could explain people pegging me as female.

[noname]

Like others said, inclustion is important. I believe many cd's suffer from lonelyness. Being we can never be out and about with friends and have fun and meet people.