Sex with a CD

[wifeofsissy GG]

N/a

[Jodie_Lynn]

perhaps, if you told your husband what you just told us?

Show him that support and understanding is a two way street and that he needs to do his part.

[QZ2]

It's impossible to speak for your husband but there are things you also need to take into consideration while both giving and receiving the love and support you both need.

Your husband is a CD. He sometimes lives the role of a woman, both in outward appearance and inside feelings. He is making love to you sometimes as a woman and apparently enjoying it. If you ask, no, insist that he leaves that role and make love to you as a man he may not be able to do it, just because you asked him. It has to be his idea, his male emotions, that give him the desire (and ability) to be a proper man lover to you.

Somehow you might be able to plant the seed that will grow into his own volition to have sex with you as a man as you need and desire. You can respond differently to him in his different roles, encourage his male love making with rewards. You can figure out what they might be.

Be sensitive of his very mixed up feelings. Demonstrate that sensitivity and talk about it. He may grow to show you that same sensitivity. In the meantime keep loving him for what he is.

I wish for your happiness. Love, Susie

[Julogden]

I agree with Jodie-Lynn, show him the message that you just posted, it is quite eloquent, and, in my opinion, you're not asking for anything that you shouldn't expect from your spouse.

My wife never even tried to accept me, and we ended up getting a divorce, so I can't imagine someone not being willing to give you what you ask for when you're being so incredibly supportive.

:hugs:Carol

[suzy]

Good post! Great question! Thanks!

My wife supports me in my CD'ing and has done many of the same things that you described doing for your CD husband. She helps me apply make up, she buys me clothes, and encourages me to dress up. But she did tell me early on that she would be supportive of my needs as long as long as I supported her needs and that was also that I didn't dress 24/7 and was a "man" part of the time. She enjoys being romanced, (as I do) and I enjoy romancing her. Sex is great dressed up or not.

Being manly is a very easy thing for me to do. I have the best of both worlds and I am very happy and contented. I agree with the other ladies, you need to talk with him, explain to him exactly what you explained to us, and things should work out fine. Try again!:hugs:

[GG Vanya]

It's impossible to speak for your husband but there are things you also need to take into consideration while both giving and receiving the love and support you both need.

Your husband is a CD. He sometimes lives the role of a woman, both in outward appearance and inside feelings. He is making love to you sometimes as a woman and apparently enjoying it. If you ask, no, insist that he leaves that role and make love to you as a man he may not be able to do it, just because you asked him. It has to be his idea, his male emotions, that give him the desire (and ability) to be a proper man lover to you.

Somehow you might be able to plant the seed that will grow into his own volition to have sex with you as a man as you need and desire. You can respond differently to him in his different roles, encourage his male love making with rewards. You can figure out what they might be.

Be sensitive of his very mixed up feelings. Demonstrate that sensitivity and talk about it. He may grow to show you that same sensitivity. In the meantime keep loving him for what he is.

I wish for your happiness. Love, Susie



Isn't she already doing this?

WifeofSissy, I commend you for your support. If you hang around, I think you'll find that you're one of the rare ones, to have found out after marriage, and somehow (through communication with your husband, or self education) arrived at your present state of acceptance. Your husband should acknowledge to you how fortunate he is.

My husband often refers to the newly "out" CD as experiencing the "pink fog". Some others call it the kid in the candy store syndrome. In either case, the relief of not having to hide "her" from you anymore results in over enthusiasm. Perhaps this is what you're experiencing with your husband now.

Obviously the two of you are able to communicate. Otherwise you'd have most likely run screaming for the hills. You wouldn't be the first by the way~many women do even with great communication skills with their CD significant other.

The answer to your current dissatisfaction with your sex life is talking to him. Remember, *you* have rights too. In fact, if they were not negotiated when you first were told about his crossdressing, now would be a good time to establish boundaries~the operative word being "negotiate".

Men communicate differently than we do. Hinting around usually doesn't get the results we need, so be specific. You could even state your desires jokingly: Hey you! Where's my man? "Take me to bed now or lose me forever!" (line from Officer And A Gentleman, if I remember correctly.) The "talk" with him doesn't need to be all serious. Trudi (my CD husband) and I have gotten through some rough spots and/or embarassing moments by using humor.

You could also encourage "him" to show up in your boudoir by surprising him with sexy MALE sleep apparel. I find silk smoking jackets and lounge wear for men *very* sexy. :D

You will find many GG's here willing to advise and/or support you, or simply be an ear when you need one. We even have a GG ONLY section where we can discuss issues specific to being partnered to a CD, in private. Tamara GG can help you with the process of becoming a member there, as can Di GG, Sage GG, and ack I can't remember the others' proper screen names.:o

Just remember, loving a CD doesn't mean it has to be serious all the time.
Mine and Trudi's creed is: If it ain't fun why are we doing it?

I also welcome you to PM me if you wish to.

Oh, and welcome to our twisted lil corner of the cyber universe. :hugs:

[Nike]

the Meg Ryan character in Top Gun told "Goose" I think was his name, "Take me now or lose me forever".

A GREAT line. maybe I'll borrow it later. :devil:

p.s. She also did the fake orgasm in the restaurant in When Harry Met Sally.

[tekla west]

I have no trouble anymore with the integration of my differing parts. To expect someone else to be GGG for you I think they least you could do is return the favor once in a while. I know GGs who get turned on by CD, but far and away more girls are turned on by either (or both) the well dressed suit and tie, with every hair in place, or the rough boy leather and ripped sleeve tight fitting T-shirt showing off the upper arms and shoulders with a black leather coat, or that construction worker tight butt jeans and work-shirt with the (original) Miami Vice next day beard shadow.

From time to time I do formal events (the dress code is called 'opera blacks') better known as a tux - black tie and all that, shoes like mirrors. If you know how to wear one (see any early James Bond film, or sit with a bunch of girls and watch The Sting when Redford and Newman walk in in their tuxes - not a dry seat in the house) you can get your hands on more bumper than an auto repair shop guy.

Gosh, (I'm going to sound like a real guy here) for the right piece of a** I'd dress like Elmer Fudd or a Navy Officer (living in a navy town I know it drives a lot of girls nuts - see: An Officer and a Gentleman if you doubt it) if that is what she wanted. I had a woman once who wanted me to dress as a classic pirate (and no CaptLex i dont have her number anymore) and basically plunder her. She didn't have to ask twice.

To the degree that its costume (and all clothing is costume) what does it matter what costume you have to wear so long as you get the dance at the ball?

[CaptLex]

From time to time I do formal events (the dress code is called 'opera blacks') better known as a tux - black tie and all that, shoes like mirrors. If you know how to wear one (see any early James Bond film, or sit with a bunch of girls and watch The Sting when Redford and Newman walk in in their tuxes - not a dry seat in the house) you can get your hands on more bumper than an auto repair shop guy.
I think my favorite is Humphrey Bogart's tux in Casablanca, but yeah, I know what you're saying. :happy:


Gosh, (I'm going to sound like a real guy here) for the right piece of a** I'd dress like Elmer Fudd
LOL! :heehee:


or a Navy Officer (living in a navy town I know it drives a lot of girls nuts - see: An Officer and a Gentleman if you doubt it) if that is what she wanted.
Mmmm . . . now you're talkin' my language. Love a man in a naval uniform! :D


I had a woman once who wanted me to dress as a classic pirate (and no CaptLex i dont have her number anymore) and basically plunder her. She didn't have to ask twice.
LOL - actually, it's not her number I'm interested in right now. :eek:


To the degree that its costume (and all clothing is costume) what does it matter what costume you have to wear so long as you get the dance at the ball?
Good point - I like your thinking. :thumbsup:

[wifeofsissy GG]

Maybe I should get him to join the Navy and when he comes home from graduation with his naval uniform on.......I jump on him an rape him.....lol. In the Navy......that's the place you wanna be in the Navy!!!! LOL. You guys are the best!!!

What's better than a Navy Uniform? I LEATHER Navy uniform.....LOL. Chow

[tekla west]

I don't know what it is about those Navy dress whites, but if you have an Army Officer, Air Force officer, and a Navy Officer standing side by side the Army and Air Force guys are going to be talking sports to each other while the Navy guy is knee deep in babes. I see it all the time. Olive drab or blue can never beat the dress whites.

But, to your question dear. You have as much right as he does to be humored, catered to, & dressed for. Love is a two-way street after all. And he does not have to 'stop dressing' he just needs to dress in a different outfit now and again. He needs to use some of that imagination on you once in a while too and not just his other self. True that.

[nikisbest]

I have a very supportive wife, but I have never had sex with her while dressed. Sure I have worn panties and had to take them off, but never worn anything else. He needs to count his blessings. And he needs to be kissing your feet and EVERYTHING else. You are a great wife, I will thank you for him.
Niki

[Dragster]

Wifeofsissy, your husband's an incredibly lucky guy/gyrl to have a wife like you. I'd give my right arm for my wife to have a similar attitude to CDing as you have. I'd happily be the man she married 95% of the time, just to have the remaining 5% en-femme with her support. If he doesn't appreciate you for what you do for him, and recognise that you have needs too, then he doesn't deserve you, and shouldn't be surprised if you go looking for someone else who does. Show him my post, and refer him to my recent thread "The long and winding road to acceptance". I love my wife dearly, but she is not showing a glimmer of acceptance on the CD front, 20 years after I first told her about me. Maybe he'll realise how lucky he is.

All the best
Tony

[Carlacd]

Your husband is truely a lucky man. But i think we as cd's do tend to go over board with the dressing. Like a little kid in a candy shop. we don't realize how good we have/had it until we screw things up. Give him a kick in the butt, maybe he'll wake up. Even though my wife is not very accepting , i am allowed one day a year to be dressed while we make love, and that day is my birthday, all other times, she wants her man. Maybe you can compromise on times he is allowed to dress if at all while in Your bed.

[rosiegurl]

thinking of many different ways to say this, and still not sure it's gonna come out right *grins*

your Man is a very lucky Man to have a woman like you, and he should appreciate that. he should also appreciate the fact that you married the Man, not the CD (guessing from your post it was after you married he came out) and he should respect that.

I don't think insisting works very well, but let him know even though you accept and love the CD in him, you also love the Man in him, and want to be with the man sometimes.

been a Man doesn't make him less of a CD, and vice versa, been a CD doesn't make him any less of a man. sometimes, I think we need to be reminded of that, especially in the initial throes of stepping out of the closet and going buck wild with it *grins*

[Fionax]

You don't say how long you have both been married, or how long it is since your man made love to you as a MAN, but I have a lurking feeling that he has got to the stage where he can no longer get into action unless he is dressed! So I doubt that hints or subtle suggestions, or straight talking will get the desired result, he needs re-programming somehow.

It is unfair because of all the wonderful support that you have given him, but to get him aroused means that you will have to make the fore play when he is in guy mode. That is n't romantic, but it just might remind him of how good it used to be.

Fiona

[Jasmine Ellis]

Your a dear. you have supported heartwarmingly to her for a long time so I would sit and talk saying what you just told us,

[sissy stacy]

(curtsey)

Your husband is in fact lucky to have you, wifeofsissy. If you read enough of the threads here, you will find a few cases where it was a disaster when the husband told the wife about dressing after the trip to the altar, in some cases a few years after the trip to the altar. Your husband is lucky that not only do you accept him, you play with him when he becomes a girl.

i have always told GFs early on about sissy stacy. My current GF knows, aceepts and even plays with sissy stacy. We do sex with me or with both of us dressed, or even with her literally playing the guy (i may be pushing it here, so i'll stop with that line). We enjoy all of that. I do have to get the dress and petticoats off, and just leave th underwear, since petticoats and flouncy skirts might get in the way (teeheeeheee).

Still my GF made it clear to me when she learned aabout sissy stacy, that there would be frequent times when she just wanted to do boy-girl sex like most couples supposedly do. This did not come as a surprise to me, but i did ask her what about me being without body hair (except for what's on top of my head, that is). That was OK with her.

It's all in keeping each other informed and being up front and honest. A relationship with all that often works pretty good.

(curtsey)

-sissy s.

[Carol A]

Hello wifeofsissy,
I can fully relate to your post as the wife and I just had that same talk only two weeks ago. She loves me very much and like you supports me with her whole heart. In fact she told me if I was going to do it (dress) do it proper and lady like at all times. Yes the sex was and is wonderful as she has never been made love to by another women but like you she has told me she would like her husband around now and again and have love with a man, you get the picture. Yes as much as I love to dress a full 24/7 she does have a point and I had to agree. I guess the real truth was I was thinging about my needs and not her. You make a very good point. :hugs:

[Melissa Ryan]

I think your right! I love my girl, not just coz she accepts me, but coz I love her. So Yes, I should give more to her, I'll be back in a tic ok?!.........:D

[STEFANIE1]

i think he should make love to u as a man more often than as a woman.he should be thankful he found you.however,i also think u might consider bringing an other "man" into the bedroom to be withthe both of you,you and your best girlfriend!!

[lizbeth GG]

Hi wifeofsissy. I'm fianceof(I think)sissy.

I go into all the details in the intro section, but this is one of my fears. When/If Mr. lizbeth finds out that I know his secret, will he want to dress during sex? I could handle him in heels, because that's the only thing I know for a fact that he owns, but I couldn't have sex with him en femme.

At least I know he doesn't need women's clothing to be turned on...