Cured of Crossdressing !

[Marla S]

Well, seems like today a foggy thought (feeling) I took around with me a long time formed into words (sorry, a bit lengthy).

Preface:
This afternoon I felt like having a dark Hefeweizen (beer) and some coffee in the pub next door, 'cause it would be a nice evening to sit outdoors.
So, I took a shower (forgot shaving facial hair), french manicured my nails, dressed in some nice undies, black tights, fem-style pullover, jeans and sneakers, ear-ring, necklace, bracelet. Doing my makeup I realized I didn't shave ... arghh ... do I have to ? So, I first applied some eyeshadow, mascara and did my brows to give me some time to think about shaving.
Ooops, my makeup didn't look bad with one-day-beard. No shaving, what about some lipstick (more of a skin tone than red)... looks ok.
Took my purse and off I went to the pub.

Main:
Sitting in front of the pub quite a few people passed by. Almost every kind of people. Women, men, tall, small, black, white etc. I took the time to watch for their style an appearence. I saw men with feminine facial features and/or figure, women with more masculine ones. I saw women dressed interesting, good, cultivated, elgant, very feminine, or decent casual, but I also saw women dressed thoughtless, scuffy, without taste, boring (the minority though). Almost the same for men but the thoughtless, scuffy, without taste, boring dressed have been the majority here. The only ones that didn't pass by have been really good dressed men and trans folks.

Nevertheless, this study blured the male/female category which was replaced by the category well-styled/not-so-well-styled.

Than it became pretty obvious for me.
Why did I bother about male and female clothes, feminine and masculine traits ? All I want is to style and behave in a way that is appropriate for me and that I believe is the best way to express my personality.

It is not my fault that some of traits I think are desirable for me are usually ascribed to women and some of the less desirable ones to men.

It's not my fault that most of the clothes I like and find appropriate for myself are labeled "women's wear". As it is not my fault that some others I like too (few, indeed) are labeled "men's wear".

I didn't make this classification, I just want to dress appropriate for myself.

So I think for me there are no male or female clothes anymore but only those I like and those I don't like, independend if the place I bought them is labeled "men's department" or "women's department".

In this sense I am "cured of crossdressing" as I just dress appropriate to express my personality (or for comfort).

Trivial, but another big step for me.

Thanks for reading this far !!!

[Bernice]

Well, it's about time! Congratulations on your milestone of personal growth and self-acceptance.

Imagine if we were all exactly alike? How boring would that be?

I don't make the cultural classifications either. I just want to dress appropriate for myself, and not be attacked for doing what feels right.

Now if we could just explain this to the 6*10^9 other people on this planet, we'll all get along much better. :hugs:

[tekla west]

as someone who has spent 30+ years working in nightclubs, please forgive me, but great thought that began with beer, are somehow in suspect. Perhaps that just me, but............................................... .........

[Marla S]

as someone who has spent 30+ years working in nightclubs, please forgive me, but great thought that began with beer, are somehow in suspect. Perhaps that just me, but............................................... .........
I assure you it has been just one beer and the thought formed into words when the glass still wasn't empty.
I am man enough to keep a clear mind with this alcohol load, and I am woman enough to forgive.:hugs:
So don't worry, as a so called CD I am used to prejudices.

[Marla S]

Bernice, thanks a lot for your words. Means a lot :hugs:


Now if we could just explain this to the 6*10^9 other people on this planet, we'll all get along much better. :hugs:

Well as the feeling formed into words it will be more easy, though not all to easy I guess.

:love:

[Kate Simmons]

You're definately in touch with yourself Marla. I feel the same way. Ericka

[Calliope]

[...] the category well-styled/not-so-well-styled.



Maela,

I can dig a metanarrative when I see one ... you're on to something.

[Ginagirl]

Hi Marla,

Sometimes I don't shave either, but still put on some makeup and it's pretty good. It's not as femine a look, but yet it is definitely a softer look that I happen to like. So even if I don't get to shave I still do makeup. I think I look better with it then w/o it. I think people notice, but no one ever says anything - I think it's kinda neutral and not offensive to anyone. People just kinda look and think - whatever - hopefully, he looks good.

Anyway, I'm happy for you, that you have found a way to accept you!! That's great and next time your out - throw one back for me -

[Marla S]

Hello Ladies !!!

Bernice, Ericka, Day Tripper, and Ginagirl again thanks a lot for your replies and warm words. Can't express how much it meant for me. :love:
It is encouraging and helps to build up self-esteem. Something a lot of us urgently need a bigger portion thereof.

Tekla, thanks a lot for your reply too, I honestly appreciated it, though I had to falsify it. It is good to be sceptical and justified to scrutinize thoughts, theories, "verities", and prejudices.
IMO this is the only way to learn and to find a way out of the vicious circle of prejudices, shame, guilt and our innermost feelings, and to avoid incest of thoughts. Scrutinize any seemingly obvious issues ! Things ar not always like they seem to be.

This way this forum helped me a lot for my personal growth. Every post I've read contributed to it, independend if I agreed to it or not, if it was about a happy incident or a sad one, posted by a MTF, FTM or GG (special thanks for being here), and if the thread was closed for some reason or not.

I hope my personal insight is not just a bubble that will burst soon. Though I still have to learn a lot, maybe now is the right time to retire from this forum.
Due to the recent incidents I think I can't contribute to this forum any further as I probably would immediately be banned anyway and as this post might be deleted.
No question by a newbie can't be so stupid or naive that it deserves a rude, biased, insulting response as it got (especially compared to the infantilism thread).
If you have arguments argue and teach. If you don't have arguments it is sometimes better to say nothing.
This behavior is completely out of my understanding of honor. A fair fight is ok, but that kind of "support" I can get on the street too and it is probably less offensive.

Cheer up Ladies, there still is a longer way to go than I thought.
I am still a crossdresser and proud of it and with my limited skills will try my best to make this world a littel bit more accepting and less biased, with other means.

Maybe I will fall of my cloud very soon and have to beg to become a member again. If, I will creep back with the head up.

Take care
My best wishes
I will have all of you in my mind.

:love: :love: :love:

[Byllie]

Sometimes I don't shave either, but still put on some makeup and it's pretty good. It's not as femine a look, but yet it is definitely a softer look that I happen to like.

I have a beard and wear makeup (shadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick) because it looks good. I also try to keep my beard short and well trimmed; lately being more careful of the edges.

[Tina Dixon]

You made some good points here, why can't we just dress the way we want in stead of men and womens, may be fashion will take us there some day?