Coming Out at Work

[CaptLex]

I don't want to hijack Lex's thread about coming out under the influence (COUI?) :idontknow: , so here's my report of the reaction I got at work today when the big announcement was made.

It was actually made in two parts (not my decision): Friday afternoon Administration held a meeting for department managers who were informed and asked to then pass on the information to their respective departments (my idea) but the general staff was not told (not my idea). I wanted to put an announcement in the daily staff bulletin, but Admin nixed that idea and I was told I should circulate an e-mail instead. So, what follows is (a slightly edited version of) the e-mail I sent this morning (in blue) and some of the responses I've received so far (in red):

Good morning! I hope you all had a good weekend. And I hope you all had your morning caffeine boost, as you may need it for the following announcement. If not, you can go get some . . . I'll wait. Ready? Okay, here goes:

As some of you already know, I have begun a gender transition from female to male ( you may want to take another sip of that coffee now). The purpose of this e-mail is to catch the rest of you up, and to let all know that going forward I'll be using a different version of my name (but not changing it legally) and I'm requesting that everyone refer to me as Lex (yes, as in Lex Luthor).

Thanks for your indulgence. Please call me with any questions (I think),

Lex ;)

I'M PROUD OF YOU. GOOD FOR YOU LEX! YOU GO LEX. :)

I'm proud of you. I heard the news and didn't know whether it was okay to talk to you about it. All the best. I'll talk to you later.

I like it, Lex!

Although I don't know you very well, (I don't imagine the process is easy, and I appreciate the fyi) I wish you the best--professionally and personally.

Hey Lex ~~ How brave of you.... I applaud you! It takes a very special person (male or female) to finally know what you want in life and which direction you want your life to take. Know that I wish you the very best and extraordinary days ahead.

I wish the best of luck with your decision. May this time of change go smooth for you.

Hi Lex: Welcome to the first day of your new life. I am so proud of you & I wish you all the luck in what I am sure will be a difficult transition time. Take care.

Dear Lex, I wish you all the best, for you certainly deserve it. You will always be a friend to me.

congrats to you for handling this w/humor - i'm guessing you are & have travelled a difficult path - good for you for your bravery & determination

This took guts, Lex!!! Good for you! Did you get any responses, or are some people choking on their coffee?

I have to say this is the most shocking news I've ever received on a Monday morning! You get the prize for that!! But all kidding aside, I sincerely hope that it all turns out well for you. And I'm very happy that you are able to do it because I'm sure it's the culmination of a life long desire. I imagine that the process might be difficult, but I'll pray that you have an easy time, physically and mentally. You can consider me one of your friends and have my full support!!!

Dear Lex, Many thanks for your note. I admire your courage and wish you the very best.

I wish you the best of luck in what ever you do.

As you can see, people have been really terrific. In addition to e-mail responses, my phone was ringing off the hook all morning and I got a few personal visits to my desk from others - all with the same warm, accepting and supportive sentiments. Needless to say, I feel that a huge weight has been lifted. :dance:

[Adam]

wow thats really great go lex hmm i hope when i inform people that i get a good response as that yay im so pleased for you bud :D

[NighttimeGirl]

nice lex what can you say about that?
it makes me smile and I know you must be buzzing with everybody reacting so well,

that is so cool :hugs:

:love:

[bi_weird]

congrats Lex! That's awesome that you're brave enough to do that, and ever better that your coworkers are cool with it. Best of luck with all of this!

[gennee]

That's so great to hear your coworkers are accepting and supportive, Lex. We can only hope that we hear more stories like yours in the future.

Gennee

:hugs: :Party2:

[Tina Dixon]

Had to stop in and give you my congrats:thumbsup:

[Di]

Was thinking about you today....you said ...today was the ....day......I was keeping my fingers crossed for you......i,m so happy all the positve feedback.......very brave,,,,,i'm very happy for you :Party2:

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

That's great Lex! And kudos to your co-workers.

[privateperks]

Congratulations Lex. Glad it's going so well for you man.

[GINA-CD]

I got one question, from whom did you got more supportive e-mails, from men or women? just out of curiosity.

And did you got hate-mail or aggressive ones? Did you respond to those?

I don't want to bother you or anything, just that I think handling the supportive ones must be easier than handling the non-supportive, offensive ones...

Please don't answer if you don't feel comfortable with it, I can understand.

Proud of you BTW. Good luck.

[Brianna Lovely]

Lex, how wonderful it must feel to have so many positive replies.
Although I often feel more female than male, I'm afraid I'm too old to even consider SRS. I admire you for following you Spirit and doing what is best for you.

Big Hugs,
Brianna

[Kristen Kelly]

Congratulations and best of luck in all aspects. I know how much of a difficult desision that was but the results are a wonderful relief.

[GypsyKaren]

Good for you Lex, I'm very ahppy for you. I came out at work a few months ago, and though I know a few of them snicker behind my back at me, I've gotten mostly words of support. Anyway, job well done Captain!

Karen

[Sandra]

Good for you Lex :happy:

[myMichelle]

Totally awesomme news. Way to go! (And, for whatever it's worth, I absolutely loved the fact that you were able to address this issue with a bit of humor...one of your co-workers even responded to that.) Now tell us: how much rum did you drink before you left for work Monday? lol

[noname]

Congrads Lex. Glad to hear you had the support of management and coworkers. I did get a kick out of how you mentioned Lex Luthor. Somehow he comes to mind every time I hear the name Lex. Anyway, Glad to hear it went so well.

[CaptLex]

Thanks, boys and girls. It's encouraging to see that it's not always bad news for us, isn't it?

Good point, Michelle . . . alas, the rum is always gone. :heehee:


I got one question, from whom did you got more supportive e-mails, from men or women? just out of curiosity. And did you got hate-mail or aggressive ones? Did you respond to those?

I don't want to bother you or anything, just that I think handling the supportive ones must be easier than handling the non-supportive, offensive ones...
Good point, Gina - it would be easier to respond to the positive feedback than the negative. Fortunately, so far I haven't received any negative responses, so I suspect that those that may have a problem with it are keeping it to themselves (which is fine with me). Of course, the firm said they would remind those at the management meeting what the firm policy is on harassment and discrimination toward anyone based on race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, etc., so I suspect this may help me out.

I received about equal responses from males and females, but the curious thing is that all the females responded either via e-mail or telephone, while all the men dropped by my desk to tell me personally. I don't know if that's just coincidental or if there's some significance. Either way, people have been great and I'm very relieved.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

TI received about equal responses from males and females, but the curious thing is that all the females responded either via e-mail or telephone, while all the men dropped by my desk to tell me personally. I don't know if that's just coincidental or if there's some significance.

The guys just wanted to give you a friendly punch on the shoulder. :D

[Puer]

Hi Lex,

Just wanted to add my congratulations. I'm glad the responses have been so positive.

Cheers,
Puer

[Ms. Donna]

Busy Monday for us both it would seem!

Major congrats to you my friend and I'm so glad you have the support of your co-workers. Very cool indeed!

Methinks we'll have to do lunch and catch up a bit! ;)

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Kimberly]

Congrats!

I love it when this side of being out is shown - the accepting side.

It's not all death-threats and yobs yelling abuse at you! :)

[Patsy Stone GG]

Huge congratulations Lex, definitely brave and definitely cool. :D

Pssst.....I've got some rum left - don't tell everyone, it's just for you and me....

[Holly]

Lex, I could not be happier for you. It must be quite a burden off your mind. Your co-workers are to be congratulated as well. You're most fortunate to work in such an environment. Kudos, kiddo!

[kittypw GG]

You know I've always said that if you are a great coworker, a good friend, caring partner and confidant in yourself then people will respond positively to that regardless of your sexual or gender orientation. The fact that you got mostly positive responses speaks volumes about your character and your relationships with co-workers. The others don't really matter for they have their own issues. The hardest part is just getting it out in the open. You have done that now and the work relationships will only get better from here on out. Your place of employment should get a high five for being so sensitive to your situation. So happy for you! :hugs:

[CaptLex]

You know I've always said that if you are a great coworker, a good friend, caring partner and confidant in yourself then people will respond positively to that regardless of your sexual or gender orientation. The fact that you got mostly positive responses speaks volumes about your character and your relationships with co-workers. The others don't really matter for they have their own issues. The hardest part is just getting it out in the open. You have done that now and the work relationships will only get better from here on out. Your place of employment should get a high five for being so sensitive to your situation. So happy for you! :hugs:
Thanks, Kitty. I agree that your own attitude and self-confidence (or lack of it) can determine how other people respond to this kind of thing. A lot of people have said they were afraid to approach me on the subject because they didn't know if it was something I was open to talking about. They were relieved when I brought up the subject first. For example, I joined a big bunch of co-workers in the cafeteria at lunch time and let them ask me whatever they wanted (within reason). They said when they saw me calm, happy and relaxed about it, it made it easier for them to see how this is really a good thing and that they were comfortable with it, because I am. Most people have told me that they can see I'm still the same person - just happier, so I think that makes people more receptive and accepting. :happy: