One step at a time

[fionasboots]

Again, this is another thread in continuation of the 'fun' I've been having recently (see http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36516).

My wife now *does* want to see me again, just talked to her now and she is nervous and scared about me coming back home (after the business trip) but she said she wants a hug :hugs:

She still gets a bit upset about the whole CDing thing though she is making jokes about it every now and then (she texted me to say I had wouldn't be able to bring certain things through airport security, like bottles of water ... or any makeup ;-) )

At the moment she is still a bit wary of anything that might encourage me to dress and has said on a few occasions she wants me to stop shaving my legs. I have done this for now and will wait to discuss things with her before doing anything else.

I don't think she has fully grasped what I have done in the past yet, she does seem to have accepted that I am still me but this other part she has not come to terms with yet.

Compared to how things were a few weeks ago, where we are now is a miraculous improvement.

I now must remember to keep myself in check with what I do and what I say and try to help my wife understand what this is all about. This is going to take a long time I think, but it *will* be worth it in the end :D

Thank you all again for the immense amount of support and advice :love:

[sparks]

God bless and help the two of you!

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Fiona

Nice to hear you have some good news.

Just remember to go slow and not rush things.
Sounds like there is a lot of hope for you both.

[swiss_susan]

good to hear things are getting better hun,

I hope it continues like this,

Susan

[Kate Simmons]

Glad things seem to be working out for you, Fiona. I hope it continues. All my best.:love: Kay

[Deborah_UK]

Fiona,

So pleased for you.

I'm glad I was wrong that the time apart would make things worse, it seems that absence has made her heart grow fonder.

Good news indeed.

:thumbsup:

Debs

[fionasboots]

Fiona,

So pleased for you.

I'm glad I was wrong that the time apart would make things worse, it seems that absence has made her heart grow fonder.


I think that has been more by good luck than anything else, I may still have been better to stay there instead of leaving on my business trip.




Good news indeed.

:thumbsup:

Debs

Yes, 'tis good news and I am really pleased and looking forward to getting back to see my wife and son (hoping desperately that I don't get caught up in any of the problems in UK airports, just want to get home safe and sound and as quickly as possible).

[Jasmine Ellis]

fingers crossed for you

[fionasboots]

Thanks all for crossed fingers and messages of support :love:

Things are certainly looking up although I think there is going to have to be alot of talking and I still need to be able to explain myself a bit better.

When I talked to my wife last night she said she had a 'list' of things to discuss and wanted to set boundaries. This is good in that she's wanting to move forward although I do think there could be some things in the list that are going to be difficult, in other words serious restrictions on my dressing.

But, like I say, one step at a time I guess; it's my fault that I didn't explain things properly and dropped a huge bombshell so any reaction my wife has is probably perfectly justified and it's up to me to understand what she wants and feels and to try and explain myself to her as best I can.

I suppose I have to bridge the gap between what I find acceptable to do/talk about here and what she is comfortable with. This is going to be a big gap I think; even worse that I could actually talk to my friends here in the UK that know and they seemed happy with going out round London and all sorts of stuff that I'd LOVE to do ... but that is likely years off (if ever) with my wife.

Anyway, I'm flying back home early Thursday morning, back in UK by lunchtime :D I probably will be offline then for a while ... wish me luck ... oh you already did, thanks again :love:

[Robin Leigh]

When I talked to my wife last night she said she had a 'list' of things to discuss and wanted to set boundaries. This is good in that she's wanting to move forward although I do think there could be some things in the list that are going to be difficult, in other words serious restrictions on my dressing.
That does sound promising. Making a list probably means she's been doing some serious thinking about the issues, not just being all emotional and overly influenced by her & your parents' attitudes.

I suggest that you put together some material to educate her about CDing. As you mentioned several days ago, just setting her loose on the internet TG sites is probably a very bad idea. Even this site may give her the wrong idea. Give her something to read as a jumping-off point for her questions. Would she read such things directly off the computer? Printing such info out may lead to a little paranoia, but it would give you the most control over what material she encounters.

Good luck, Fiona. (I've been reading your saga since you first told your wife.)

[Sandra]

When I talked to my wife last night she said she had a 'list' of things to discuss and wanted to set boundaries. This is good in that she's wanting to move forward although I do think there could be some things in the list that are going to be difficult, in other words serious restrictions on my dressing.



This does sound a lot better, she has had time to think and is trying to sort things out, once again though it ain't going to be easy for either of you, the boundaries in time may be widenedand the serious restrictions on your dressing are better than not being able to dress at all.

Take it slow with her and good luck.

[Dragster]

First an apology Fiona and everyone else. I just posted this in your other thread when I intended to post it here, so you might see it twice. Dohhhh!

Tomorrow's Thursday Fiona, I wish you all the luck in the world. Whatever you do, keep talking to your wife. From what I've read, you obviously still love one another dearly, and that's the platform you need to build on.
I'm going through a similar scenario (see http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=37222 (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=37222) ). It is not so traumatic for us, but many of the emotions we are experiencing are the same for you and your wife. I'll keep you all here informed of my progress (we started almost 20 years ago, and I reopened the dialogue in April 2005, when I bought "My Husband Betty" for us both to read), and I'll follow yours. If either of us find the magic formula for acceptance, we can share it! You never know, we may meet sometime, Preston's not too far from Knutsford, where we live. But I think it may be dangerous to let our wives meet just yet, they may gang up on us, unless they just find it therapeutic to share experiences. I'm not sure mine is yet ready to talk to ANYONE else (even in the anonymity of the 'net) about my CDing, and that may be why she's finding it very difficult, and why progress is so slow. We still love one another and want to be with one another for the rest of our lives, so there's our foundation for the future. The rest, we still have to work out.

Good luck tomorrow, I'm sure you'll find a way. I've heard of so many now who've started with what seem like "draconian" restrictions on their dressing, which have relaxed as time goes on, and wives have realised that there really is nothing to worry about. Hope you find the same.

Tony