melissacd
08-15-2006, 06:56 AM
The Cuteness of Being Feminine
I am often totally swept away and overwhelmed by the cuteness of femininity. I will be minding my own business when I see a photograph, a painting, a figurine, a woman walk by, an advertisement on television or in a magazine and then it hits me - I want to be cute too. Being a male within our society is very limiting and constraining. Our choices of expression are extremely limited by comparison to the vast array of ways that women can project themselves. While many men are quite okay with this limitation, as a male to female cross dresser, I am not.
I have spent a lifetime of repression, guilt, soul searching and rejection trying to reach a level of understanding about the whys and wherefores of this thing that I want and love to do and that society suggests that I cannot and should not do. I desire the right to do something that biological women take for granted; I want to be cute too. I want to be cute in the same way as woman; feminine-cute, sexy-cute, sassy-cute, playful-cute or just plain old darn cute. What could be better than that?
When I was younger I used to put down the frivolity of women’s fashion. Today I realize that I was projecting my anger at not being able to be cute too. As I grow older and wiser I have come to realize that an important part of life is expressing whom we are. For some of us that expression takes the form of riding a motorcycle, playing hockey, climbing mountains, drinking with the boys; for others, such as myself, an important mode of expression is finding ways to be cute. Creating a feminine illusion is a way to achieve that.
As bizarre to some as this may seem, I get a great sense of satisfaction and pleasure from looking my feminine best and striving for that cuteness I so adore. I spend a great deal of time looking around for ideas and items that I believe will bring me closer and closer to my own personal standard of cuteness. I have become convinced, after looking at thousands of pictures of other cross dressers, that when done tastefully, a male can achieve the same level of cuteness as a biological female. As I experiment more I realize that with some work and refinement I too can achieve that wonderful goal. Seeing that others have achieved this encourages me to forge ahead.
While many feel that passing is the ultimate goal, as I ponder, play and experiment I am starting to realize that developing a personal style, sanding off the rough edges and creating a cute feminine illusion is a more important goal. If I can achieve a look that makes me feel cute and confident I believe being passable becomes less of an issue as I move out of the closet and into public spaces. I believe this to be true of so many things in life; confidence helps dispel rejection and instead creates curiosity. Now I am not saying that this is true in all contexts, however, I suspect this is a truism much of the time. If you are confident, disarming, charming and most importantly cute then I expect for the most part the public will either be curious about us or ignore us and get on with their lives. That thought has helped me to start becoming less nervous about doing this and helps dispel some of my fears of discovery by people I know. I am hoping that as I develop my style and confidence that I will reach a point where it will not matter to me anymore who knows. What they will be seeing is a more real and authentic me.
I know that so many of us have whined and complained about the unfairness of society, but that whimpering will change nothing. I feel that as more and more male to female cuties are seen walking about in the world there will develop a natural level of acceptance of what and who we are. We will start to be seen as normal males who also enjoy feminine modes of expression, no less a male than any other male, just perhaps somewhat cuter.
I am often totally swept away and overwhelmed by the cuteness of femininity. I will be minding my own business when I see a photograph, a painting, a figurine, a woman walk by, an advertisement on television or in a magazine and then it hits me - I want to be cute too. Being a male within our society is very limiting and constraining. Our choices of expression are extremely limited by comparison to the vast array of ways that women can project themselves. While many men are quite okay with this limitation, as a male to female cross dresser, I am not.
I have spent a lifetime of repression, guilt, soul searching and rejection trying to reach a level of understanding about the whys and wherefores of this thing that I want and love to do and that society suggests that I cannot and should not do. I desire the right to do something that biological women take for granted; I want to be cute too. I want to be cute in the same way as woman; feminine-cute, sexy-cute, sassy-cute, playful-cute or just plain old darn cute. What could be better than that?
When I was younger I used to put down the frivolity of women’s fashion. Today I realize that I was projecting my anger at not being able to be cute too. As I grow older and wiser I have come to realize that an important part of life is expressing whom we are. For some of us that expression takes the form of riding a motorcycle, playing hockey, climbing mountains, drinking with the boys; for others, such as myself, an important mode of expression is finding ways to be cute. Creating a feminine illusion is a way to achieve that.
As bizarre to some as this may seem, I get a great sense of satisfaction and pleasure from looking my feminine best and striving for that cuteness I so adore. I spend a great deal of time looking around for ideas and items that I believe will bring me closer and closer to my own personal standard of cuteness. I have become convinced, after looking at thousands of pictures of other cross dressers, that when done tastefully, a male can achieve the same level of cuteness as a biological female. As I experiment more I realize that with some work and refinement I too can achieve that wonderful goal. Seeing that others have achieved this encourages me to forge ahead.
While many feel that passing is the ultimate goal, as I ponder, play and experiment I am starting to realize that developing a personal style, sanding off the rough edges and creating a cute feminine illusion is a more important goal. If I can achieve a look that makes me feel cute and confident I believe being passable becomes less of an issue as I move out of the closet and into public spaces. I believe this to be true of so many things in life; confidence helps dispel rejection and instead creates curiosity. Now I am not saying that this is true in all contexts, however, I suspect this is a truism much of the time. If you are confident, disarming, charming and most importantly cute then I expect for the most part the public will either be curious about us or ignore us and get on with their lives. That thought has helped me to start becoming less nervous about doing this and helps dispel some of my fears of discovery by people I know. I am hoping that as I develop my style and confidence that I will reach a point where it will not matter to me anymore who knows. What they will be seeing is a more real and authentic me.
I know that so many of us have whined and complained about the unfairness of society, but that whimpering will change nothing. I feel that as more and more male to female cuties are seen walking about in the world there will develop a natural level of acceptance of what and who we are. We will start to be seen as normal males who also enjoy feminine modes of expression, no less a male than any other male, just perhaps somewhat cuter.