Why do some people think cross dressing = gay?

[Mistress Frillee]

Let me explain, I am not gay. I date & have sex with genetic females. ( to be gay, you have to have sex with the same gender, lets just set the record straight) I enjoy being a girl & girl things. Whats not to get?

Are these people just intimatated by cross dressing or what?

[angelfire]

I suppose people in general think that women typically date guys. Therefore, a crossdressers poses as a female, and thus they would want to have sex with guys, because they are posing as female. I dunno, thats just what I think that they think about us.

[Nyx]

Let's set the record straight: to be gay, you have to be attracted by the same gender only (your sexual life isn't the same thing as your sexual orientation). But anyways...

People think its gay because girls are usuallly into guys, and they know alot of crossdressers do this for the sexual thrill... And because when they think of crossdressing they think of drag queens, which very much *are* gay. Simple enough?

[Charleen]

Stereotypes my dear sister, stereotypes. the unwashed see someone looking femme, and assume that person likes guys. I don't care what they think! I have a feminine look at all times,even in drab- long hair, clear polished long nails, pierced ears,alot of jewelry, you get the point, and if "they" want to think me gay, I don't have a problem with that today,as they have no clue as to who I am. Love and xxxx, Lily

[sarahjan]

Stereotypes my dear sister, stereotypes. the unwashed see someone looking femme, and assume that person likes guys. I don't care what they think! I have a feminine look at all times,even in drab- long hair, clear polished long nails, pierced ears,alot of jewelry, you get the point, and if "they" want to think me gay, I don't have a problem with that today,as they have no clue as to who I am. Love and xxxx, Lily

Any time you see any TV events in the Newspaper they are listed under Gay.
The first question that appears to be asked when discovered by a wife or other family member is are you Gay?

It almost as if people want you to be Gay. Gay they can understand, they have been brian washed into "some people are like that" but crossdressing/TV call it what you will is something that hasn't tried to get main stream approval so they try to lump it in with something they do recognise.

[noname]

It probably has more to do with society and guy culture. For instance, say you have a not so manly shirt, you buds may say, dude are you gay? I think that pretty much goes for anything that is not manly it's gay. Although imo it's more about guys being homophobic and using homophobia to scare other males from what makes them even a little bit uncomfortable.

[ReginaK]

Because people are stupid and ignorant. It's that simple.

People are so quick to call you gay, yet they refuse to accept the possiblity that maybe you are a gay female and not a gay male.

[RikkiOfLA]

I think most people know about crossdressing only what they see on television and in the movies. And there--on shows like Jerry Springer, and in movies like "Birdcage," most of the crossdressers they can see ARE gay. Anyone who's ever watched Jerry Springer knows the climax of the plot of most of the Jerry Springer shows about crossdressers--where he lisps out to his poor, mortified wife, "and I'm having an affair with your brother Irving!!!"

Of course, the Jerry Springer show is scripted. But Mr. and Mrs. America don't know that! And so they assume that what they are seeing is a fair depiction of what crossdressing is really all about. Sad.

Love and respect (but not for Jerry),
Rikki

[stephanie B]

Hi,

Well, I have to agree with most of those views, I started dating a CD about seven months ago. At first, I have to admit to being a very confused gg. He opened up to me on the second date, saying he wanted me to know about it and, preferably, to accept it.

My knowledge at that time was very limited, and my first reaction was to run.

However, up to that point, I had told my friends and family that I had met a guy who was truly "different". It seemed so unfair to give up without a bit more research !

After almost 7 months together, we have a wonderful relationship - both physical and emotional...

Most girls date a guy and get a guy, I feel that I have landed a "two for one" deal. in other words, I get a new best girlfriend too !

So, Getting back to the plot, I think the answer to the question is "ignorance"

Take care all,

Stephanie x

[annekathleen]

Some crossdressers are gay.
I consider my self "bi-sexual"
As a man, I prefer sex with a woman, but
I have had sexual encounters with other men
while I was wearing mens clothes, and I have
had sexual encounters while wearing some womens
clothing, but I've never had a sexual encounter
with a man while I was entirely dressed as a woman.
It is my fantasy, though.

[Kate Simmons]

Simple minded, I guess. Can't put two scenerios together and believe everything the news media says. In other words, lemmings. Ericka Kay

[eleventhdr]

I to am in the crossdressing stage of being transgenered.

That is I like and do want to wear what is still called female clothing.

I am not a gay male.

I like girls.

But then I like them so very much that I do want to become one off them.

And then if i was one of them I very problay would either be Bi or gay female because the female sex is to be loved just oh so much simple because they are female.

And can and do exert some kind of magic over you.

This is how I do see it hmmm!

Jay Suzy.

I just might still have sex with a male while female but only to reproduce it just might be satisfying in some instances.

Later!

[LORIE H]

I am very,very Bi. I love being with men and doing all the girl things they like while being dressed. Men dont see themselves as gay or bi being with a girl like me,:hugs: :love:

[MarinaTwelve200]

Let me explain, I am not gay. I date & have sex with genetic females. ( to be gay, you have to have sex with the same gender, lets just set the record straight) I enjoy being a girl & girl things. Whats not to get?

Are these people just intimatated by cross dressing or what?

IGNORANCE! Ask a person what a gay person is and they will USUALLY say--Uhhh, thats a guy who thinks he's a girl. Something they "learned" in Junior High school from a locker room buddy who was just as ignorant as they were.---of course, gay guys dress up as girls. As an adjunct, some gay guys actually have sex with other men!

There you have the most common IDEA of what "Gay" means to most people, the primary determinant--being sexually attracted to others of the same sex, being subjicated in their minds to an external act CROSSDRESSING that only SOME gays may be involved in.---is it any wonder that a person with such beleifs equates CDing with being gay?

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

The day all people realise this will bring humanity out the of the dark ages that some still thrive in lol, Some crossdressers might be gay, but so are non crossdressing blokes, some crossdressers are bisexual, so are non crossdressing blokes, a vast majority of crossdressers are straight, so are a vast majority of blokes... so there are as many men of each sexual orientation as crossdressers. So from this we are much the same albeit we are more open minded - considerably more honest about our feelings to ourselves and all about us, as we have no secrets. Alas a majority of men do have secrets, I pity them lol...

People who dislike crossdressers basically miss-understand us more than fear us, they think we are a threat, to what - i do not understand lol, If they feel attracted to us, then I feel they should be questioning their own sexuality than be challenging ours.. sexual attractions based partly on visual attraction, and lets face it girls lol some of us are rather attractive lol, but also pheromones - the real aphrodesiac lol, so on that if a guy feels sexually arroused by a crossdresser he could possibly be a miss-directed male who on realising a gal to be a guy will go the other way, or if he feels still attracted might fear after all that he is a latent bisexual or a bisexual in denial, as he fears in his own sexuality after telling friends and loved ones he was straight and even living a straight existance too. The last option he's an all out bisexual... then girls I guess it's up to us what we want!

So people only basically fear what they cannot understand. maybe by communicating more with us, then a variety of people would then discover we are no ogres, and that a vast majority or possibly all of us are quite approachable... the biggest issue is they haven't the courage to approach us, as we have to approach the public, so there you have it.... who's the one with the problem now lol...

I figure if more people communicated with people like us, they then could start realising that actually we're simply humans living a life we are happy with, after all, lifes no reahearsal... it's simply a once round... so rather than living our lives how our wonderful society would want us to live it, we are simply living our lives more on our terms and being happy with our lot... it's our lives to live and when we leave this earth, who the heck will care how we lived our lives.... so whats the difference......

Hope in this message theres some elightenment...

[Karren H]

Well, even though I'm also straight and married and faithful, I've wondered if I was gay just because I love to dress like a chick!! So why shouldn't other people wonder the same thing.....I mean that someone that wants to look and dress and act like a girl, must want to have sex with a guy, Right??

They just don't understand you and I....Doesn't mean that I like that fact but, Hey that's life!! Wars were fought and millions killed for lack of understanding.....So what new??? hehehe

Love Karren

[Kimberly]

2 things.

First: Drag Queens
Second: Women's clothing is often used to attract men - so by dressing that way you must be wanting to attract men.

I don't get the jump in two sentances from:
"Honey, I crossdress." to:
"Are you gay?"
But people are presumtious like that.

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

if a considerable amount of people came out the closet with their secrets, they would be far more diverse than we could ever be lol, but in reality they won't because it's far more easier to pick on others, than to be open about their own secrets as that requires courage...lol ?!!! or a strong sense of positive personal conviction .....!!!!!! which the best of us have about ourselves.... and they considerably lack!!!! that's there problem not our's... after all we are totally fine with who we are...

[Penny]

It's because of Christmas when " don we now our gay apparel, fa -la- la -la- la , la -la -la -la". Ok, so I still want a new bra and panties!

[Jasmine Ellis]

Let me explain, I am not gay. I date & have sex with genetic females. ( to be gay, you have to have sex with the same gender, lets just set the record straight) I enjoy being a girl & girl things. Whats not to get?

Are these people just intimatated by cross dressing or what?


I'm not gay, I'm married and have kids. But love to dress, and go out.

[Gurly]

Certain things in this world will never change and one of them is the fact that a large percent of people who don't dress think those that do are gay. I've been dressing since I was 4 years old and have just recently come to terms with it. Gee, and it only took me 41 years!! There is enough information out there to show others that most crossdressers are not only straight but involved in hetero relationships. Unfortunately ignorance is ignorance and most of those people will NEVER be swayed, so we might as well get used to it.

[Becky Blue]

I don't think it is unreasonable for a person who does not know much about the TG scene to presume that a person who wants to dress like a girl, wants to be like a girl. Therefore wants toi sleep with men. Once a person is informed they would know that teh 2 are not connected.
Bec

[Atlanta Peach GG]

I have not read all the posts in this thread, but I wonder if someone has addressed the fact that GAY PRIDE PARADES are full of flamboyant girlie men dressed up in drag.........

yeah it is fun to watch, but THAT is what gets presented to society...........people see that and equate ALL crossdressers as being gay.........

That is how society sees it on TV and in the print media..........

If you are a Crossdresser = it must mean you are gay

Of course *I* know that is not true, I have many, many STRAIGHT CD friends who have never been with anyone but a GG while dressed.

[tekla west]

I have not read all the posts in this thread, but I wonder if someone has addressed the fact that GAY PRIDE PARADES are full of flamboyant girlie men dressed up in drag.........

yeah it is fun to watch, but THAT is what gets presented to society...........people see that and equate ALL crossdressers as being gay

Look, people go to 4th of July parades and don't expect to see the Shriners commuting in little cars and wearing a fez all the time.

Anyone who thinks Springer is anything close to "true" is finishing life at home in their spare time and need not be worried about. I know someone who was on that show twice, as two different people, 'nuf said.

[sophie1]

i'm married with kids i am most certainly not gay. i have always like women and i will continue to like women
the fact that i like to dress as got nothing to do with my sexuallity. ladies clothes are just so much nicer and colourful than mens
Sophie
XXX

[Bev06 GG]

Because people are stupid and ignorant. It's that simple.

.

I think thats a tad harsh Regina, I'd prefer to say uneducated in such things. And without wanting to sound critical in anyway shape or form, who's fault is that. If you will all hide in the closet instead of speaking out what can you expect. When I discovered crossdressing in the family, I went on the internet and educated myself. I was one of those stupid ignorant people that you talk about, and I was alittle afraid as to where it would all end up. How could I know, I'd never before come across it and it was all new to me.
I also would like to point out that some CDs like any other group in society can be Bi sexual, and do get sexual thrills out of what they do. Some even meet for sex. Unfortunately these are the ones that give you all the bad press.
We went to Pink Punters a few weeks ago and the hotel we stayed in had fallen out with a group of Crossdressers who regularly stay there. Apparently they disturbed all the other residents, were in and out of each others bedrooms all night, and left excrement all over the bed clothes. What sort of witness is that to Joe public. The sad thing is these people are in the minority, but you can understand why people get the wrong impression when those kind of things are happening.
BEVxxxx

[GG Vanya]

Let's set the record straight: to be gay, you have to be attracted by the same gender only (your sexual life isn't the same thing as your sexual orientation). But anyways...
People think its gay because girls are usuallly into guys, and they know alot of crossdressers do this for the sexual thrill... And because when they think of crossdressing they think of drag queens, which very much *are* gay. Simple enough?


Not sure what you mean by this, but (to me and I would think society in general) if sex occurs outside of the fact that there is Slot A and Tab B on the respective partners, it's bi/gay. I've heard so many times "it's just clothes" but when defending heterosexuality suddenly it's more than clothes. When the clothes are off, if you have the same equipment your partner has, it's bi/gay. Your mileage may vary, however.

Now, as to why so many equate CDing with being gay? I used to say that 90% of CDers are hetero, but lately I'm beginning to think, from the many posts I see here, it's more like 50/50.

Unfortunately, I do think shows like Jerry Springer and the DQ's in Gay Pride Parades have tilted the scales of opinion for the general public~those not educated or involved in this particular alternative lifestyle.

But, my question is this: Why sweat it? You know your own sexuality, hopefully. I love one of (I think she's the originator) Ann Landers' quotes: "It's none of my business what you think of me!" :D

[Teresa Amina]

Two females together or two males together, souls or bodies, which are gay/lesbian? If a male soul be with a female soul is it hetero if the bodies are the same sex? If a male/female soul be with a male/female soul and the bodies different is it still hetero if the trancendent nature be the same? We forget that sex is merely bodily apetite, our longing for personal connection transcends the gender of the body.

[Rachel Morley]

In the (un-educated) mainstream world, any man who gravitates towards the feminine must want to be "woman-like" and women (for the most part) are sexually attracted to men.....ergo ....a crossdresser "must be gay" :(

[Shawna25]

I think it is just stereo types in todays society...I am not gay by a long shot....I have only dated genetic females and that is all I will ever date.