I have to be the most messed up

[Samantha Lough]

Ok here is the situation, In a previous thread I complained that I had a X who outed me and was not supportive, well now I am scared beyond belief I have started dating a friend (have known her 2 years) and she knows all about me, and I am afraid of dressing in front of her !!!!!! Go figure this just does not make sense at all. I know I have issues but this is just stupid, I finally find some one who is both accepting and supportive and I am afraid to show her. I know it sounds like I am a drama queen.

I know the answer is go ahead and do it your only dating and she is accepting but this fear in the back of my head says she will point and laugh or freak out and storm out or or or or or or.... I mean dang I spoke to my counselor about and she started Laughing at how ridiculous this is. Like I said I am screwed up.

No I did not start dating her because she is accepting it just happened one minute we were watching a movie at my place and our Kids were playing and the next we are kissing and it felt right.

OK Rant done like I said I am messed up but can still laugh at how dumb this sounds

Love Samantha

[Ellaine]

Hi Samantha Well you got the girl.... mmmmm have you any suitable photos to show her ? Would that help?

She obviously knows you are hesitant to show yourself, if she isn't giving you a hard time over it, doesn't that show she cares? And then again, she's only going to get one chance to laugh, before she's out the door.

Sooner or later, you are going to have to try trust. It's all we have.

Good Luck babe.
You'll be fine..you will.

[admirerplus GG]

Samantha,

It seems to me that what you are going through is actually very normal. You obviously care about this new woman in your life. She seems to be very special. Anyone, who has experienced rejection in the past would feel anxious about a new relationship.

Having felt first hand what it is like to be rejected, I can really feel empathy for your situation. Perhaps trying to just let go may help. Let her know how much you care about her and trust her. Expressing positive feelings may attract more positive feelings.

Good luck and enjoy the very precious experience it is to find some one special.

[Roberta Lynn]

Samantha,

It seems to me that what you are going through is actually very normal. You obviously care about this new woman in your life. She seems to be very special. Anyone, who has experienced rejection in the past would feel anxious about a new relationship.
:iagree:
You are off to a good start with this new relationship, she knows about you and she is accepting. Build on this.
You need to find out just where her comfort level with your CDing is.
Go slow, maybe a little makeup or something first.
But remember she has wants, desires and dreams too, find out what they are.
Your CDing is important to you, but don't make it the center and focal point of your relationship.:2c:

Having someone to share with is great.
Hope the best for you
:love:

[swiss_susan]

Well you seem to have all the answers already. :tongueout

Seriously though just let it happen on your own time, if and when you are comfortable.

No point in rushing.

Susan

[DonnaT]

she knows all about me
If she hasn't seen you dressed yet, then she doesn't know all about you. She doesn't know how you'll look, or how you'll act.


mmmmm have you any suitable photos to show her ? Would that help?

I agree, show her some photos.

Ask her opinions.

See if she'd like to help with anything you think you may need help with.

[pinkshelly]

I think what you are going through, and I have done this, is. She should not like and want it. Hell if your X is any indication, and she does have an impact on your present way of thinking. I have been through this, I thought if my X and most the world doesn't want this why should she (the s.o.). not stopping to think that she is accepting and loving of Shelly and me. After I relized that it has been wonderfull.
Huggs, Shelly.

[Samantha Lough]

On the front of the Book in big Letters was written " DON'T PANIC" so could not resist

[Kimberly]

Like I said I am screwed up.
It sounds to me like people have made you think that.

Please try to work up the courage to show her. It will help to make up both your minds on the situation. It won't be that messy, honestly. If she doesn't like it, then you don't have to dress for her again - but if she likes it, think of the life you'll lead!

I'm lucky to have found friends who are very supportive of my dressing, and who help me with shopping, make-up, etc. But you only find those relationships by being open. And it is a beautiful thing when two people are completely, unreservadly honest with each other. :)

Best of luck. All you have to ask yourself, is: How important is your dressing to your life. Could you exclude this person from this part of yourself if you had to? Or would it hurt you, immeasurably.

You only get one chance in this life. Take it.

[Bev06 GG]

Samantha,
Like everyone is telling you dont panic, but also dont rush into it. Take things steady. Sooner or later curiosity will get the better of her and she may well ask to see you dressed. Photo's are quite a good idea, but I'd take things at her pace. Wait until she asks.
I didn't see my partner fully dressed to start with, we did it in stages, not on purpose, thats just how it happened.
Then when I wanted to see the whole persona, I dressed him and did his makeup. For me that worked fine, but everyones different.
I can understand how you feel, afterall you will be sharing a very personal and intimate part of your life with her. You are bound to feel very vulnerable and self conscious, but she sounds like she will be very understanding and it most probably will be a heck of alot easier than you think. Take care and keep us posted.
BEVxxxx

[GG Vanya]

Samantha,

The relationship I have with my CD husband began identically to yours. Trudi's ex rejected the crossdressing and divorced her over it, after having initially "accepted" it.

When Trudi and I met, she told me straightaway about the CDing. I was amazingly "OK" with it. Yes, I was curious and she showed me pictures. However, I didn't see Trudi dressed until several months into the relationship.
We discussed it and agreed that wouldn't happen until SHE was comfy with it.

When the "debut" arrived, Trudi gave me a choice: Watching her morph, or waiting to see the final result. I chose the latter. To this day I've never watched the total transformation. I think we both prefer it that way. The 12 hours (not really, LOL, but it sure seems that long) that she's in the bathroom gives me time to "switch gears" as it were.

My advise is to simply sit down with your lady, openly discuss your issues and tell her exactly what you just told us. If she's accepting of your crossdressing and knows your history, I'd bet the paycheck she'll be totally understanding of your reservations.

[Lisa Golightly]

First time is the worse time, but if you don't do it soon the tension will just build and build till it becomes a virtual wall. Those girls who in the past had not seen the gal me I found always liked having a good rummage through my clothes and shoes... an innevitable 'try this on' would usually occur and et voila job done.

Now it is hard for me to find someone that hasn't seen me as a gal first... my life! :rolleyes:

[Robin Leigh]

I haven't got time to read the whole thread tonight, but when I first show someone Robin I say "You're allowed to giggle". Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. If they laugh, I laugh too. That generally gets rid of the nerves on both sides.

Robin

[Bev06 GG]

I haven't got time to read the whole thread tonight, but when I first show someone Robin I say "You're allowed to giggle". Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. If they laugh, I laugh too. That generally gets rid of the nerves on both sides.

Robin

Good attitude Robin. I think if we learn to laugh at ourselves people will often take us more seriously too and dont feel so uncomfortable around us.
And what a tension reliever.
BEVxxxx

[Robin Leigh]

Good attitude Robin. I think if we learn to laugh at ourselves people will often take us more seriously too and dont feel so uncomfortable around us.
And what a tension reliever.
BEVxxxx

Thanks, Bev.

It's always nicer to have people laughing with you, than at you. :) To be laughed at in the street deflates the confidence really fast. :eek:

Seriously though, much humour involves unexpected or incongrous juxtapositions, so it makes sense that a man in women's things can look funny. So when CDers can generate an overall impression of natural femininity, people don't seem to snigger at us, even if we don't necessarily pass on close inspection.

Robin