What Happened After You Told Her?

[Melanie]

I'm curious to know what happened to my fellow sisters after they came out to their SO's and how they felt?,I am hoping it was mostly good of course,but life is generally not as bright as we wish it to be.
At the risk of sounding melodramatic ,I am not after pity,I am thinking that this may be of some interest to some of you..?,though I may be wrong.

I had a super relationship with my longtime GF and was on the verge of proposing,an area we won't go into here.We shared everything,were best friends and had a regular and great private life,so I thought that I'd be open and let her in on 'my world'.Big mistake!.

The woman I loved and respected who I considered intelligent and strong enough to deal with my CDing,was found to be the polar opposite.Days later if we disagreed about even the most trivial thing she would call me 'faggot'.She was clearly having a bad time with this as I reassured her how much I loved her and what she meant to me.

I thought she was slowly coming around to my side. One day after work I walked in to see her in bed with not 1,not 2 but 3 guys.I almost fainted. I became physically ill, lost 35 of my 150 lbs had little appetite and became almost suicidal as I pictured her engaged with those 3 men.It was too much for me to bear and now I have a problem trusting women sorry to say.I have been cheated on many times in my life,this being the worst.She said it was 'her way of getting back at me',I told her shooting me in the head would have been much kinder.
Suffice to say she is out of my life and we basically dislike each other very strongly,I cannot forgive this.It has left my already fraglie ego in tatters.

So there is my story as it's been almost 2 years of counselling, therapy,an emotional collapse and struggling to see promise in everyday life.I wonder if my CDing helped cause this after what she had told me?.
I know it isn't easy for a lot of us being what/who we are and sometimes think if there was a pill to stop being one that I may take it.

Life goes on so they say,I just wish it were less black.
Thanks for your time reading this,

Hugs,

Melanie :hugs:

[Vera Lynn]

At first she said she would rather me love her clothes, then love another woman

As time went on it was hot and cold as far as her acceptance

She often played along, but never really wanted me to do it

She always said she wasnt a lesbian

[Cristi]

From browsing many of the other posts on this site, I've got to say it looks like I got pretty lucky.

My wife's (girlfriend, at the time) first reaction was basically "Cool, lets go shopping!" We've been married now for over 20 years and I've never gotten negative word from her... well, not true. A few times I've gotten a "You're wearing THAT?!" kind of response when I've picked out a particularly ugly outfit (and in retrospect, she was right).

Other than that, the only 'bad' feedback I get is when she gets upset that I find all the deals and good clothes. I think she is jealous of my wardrobe more than anything else. :) but the difference is I ENJOY looking for bargains and she sees clothes shopping as a chore.

[Melanie]

Thanks Daytripper,

you are a sweetie,I suppose it is a blessing that I never married her yes,

Hugs and the best to you ,

Melanie,

:hugs:

[Shawna25]

well I haven't exactly told mine yet....I live in a very small town and am trying to figure out how to tell her without the whole town knowing.

[Jenna1561]

I came out to my wife about 6 weeks ago and so far, it's just like prior to telling her. She hasn't said anything about, declines to talk or read about it. I think she'd rather just keep it a secret and pretend it doesn't happen.

Of course for me, it has really relieved so much stress in my life. I am no longer hiding something from my best friend. I still dress as though I were closeted and don't parade it in front of her. I have even cut back on my regular look and wear more guy clothes more of the time now.

Take it slow - make it good.

That's my credo for fostering my relationship with my wife.


Jenna

[DonnaT]

My wife was fine with it mostly. Until she asked me why I enjoyed it so. I told her I was a transvestite (back in 1975). She was ok until she looked up the word in a dictionary that included in the definition a link to homosexuality. The term crossdresser wasn't in vogue back then.

[GG Vanya]

Thanks Daytripper,

you are a sweetie,I suppose it is a blessing that I never married her yes,

Hugs and the best to you ,

Melanie,

:hugs:


Melanie,

For you, I pray that my Cherokee Grandmother was right when she so often said:

Justice rides a slow but sure footed horse.

The only word I can think of to describe what this woman did to you is: EVIL

I agree with DayTripper here. There had to be MUCH more under the surface of this woman. You trusting her, no~allowing her the *privilege*~ of knowing the complete person who loved her is no excuse or reason for what she did.

I see so many stories like this, and I often think:
If it's true that which does not kill us makes us stronger, then many of you should be Mr./Mrs. Atlas by now.

Please don't judge all women by your most unfortunate experience with one. I pray that you meet the woman who deserves you and realizes what a treasure it can be to be the SO of a crossdresser. :hugs:

[sparks]

Well sorry to hear that very traumatic story. God that musta been hell.
It's been seven years since I told my beautiful wife and We're still dealing with it. Sometimes she is handles it OK other times not so great. But on the positive side we are still very much in love with each other. Love, real love can overcome many things and for us this is just a obsticle. She will never accept it and that's fine. Maybe one day she will understand it and that's what is important to me.
How I told and why I told are personal things that I'm not ready to share with the world.

[older not wiser]

Hi Melanie, Just letting you know how horrified I was when I read your thread. My heart goes out to you. I know this may sound trite but in a way this happened for the best, the scene that you walked in on is INEXCUSABLE and downright shattering, I releived to see that you made it through(scars will heal but the thought(s) remains). Please don't gauge every GG by what happened, this would be unfair them and to you as well!!! As one of the girls said--"Tommorow is the first day of your life". You not only have friends here but sisters as well.


Love; BonnieAnne
:GE:

[Kate Simmons]

It was a "Bad day in Black Rock" the day I told my wife 30 years ago. Kay

[Marla S]

Melanie*,

it's a realy a sad story.
Mine is not all that worse and has a better ending, but nevertheless my dress-code has been the last straw to come to the conclusion that a breakup would be the best for the both of us.

My ex and me met when I've been in a phase when I tried to redirect my issues to designing "men's wear" which is not all that boring as usual. So I didn't look like most of the other guys, but have been a bit outstanding and got stares and comments (some compliments) those days too.
(This dress code has been lousy compromise I've imposed myself onto.)

Very soon after the first dating I tried to explain it to her (How to explain something you are not sure about ?). I've been absolutely scared to talk about it and felt so miserable about my issues, that I almost broke up before even comming together. Nevertheless I talked about it, and she seemed to be fine with it. This has been a big relief for me and everything seemed to work fine. We talked about it, we went shopping together, and she made me gifts. We even read books and articles about it, but that made me feel even more miserable about my CDing, and I realized for the first time that she isn't that comfortable with my dress-code as I thought.

So, I sneaked a bit back into the closet again not to bother her too much. Back in my closet somehow I got another "great idea": If I am not allowed to dress in that clothes, you are. Why you don't do it ?
It hasn't been so clear to me those days, but back in my closet I tried redirect my dress-code again ... onto her. I tried to change her style in a way I liked to see myself. Seemed to work at first too, but luckily she has been strong enough to withstand it on the long run and turned back to her own style. (If I think about it, I am still ashamed about myself that I tried it this way).

So, back and deeper into the closet I found myself ending up watching porn sites, until I became disgusted about myself completely.
Final stage depressions. Lost almost any joy, cut almost any ties, I just let myself go. Ended up that I havn't been able to work anymore (a few non CD related issues contributed too). This has been a developement that went over years. On some brighter days I wore the one or other fem item and felt completaly comfortable with it, and even dared to wear them in the presence of my ex. She didn't say anything, she tolerated it. Only when the door bell rang she told me to pull on socks over my thights or that I should vanish into my room (have to say that thights under jeans or a touch of make-up has been the only things she got to see). This has been absolutaly humiliating.
(Meanwhile I got high blood pressure and the like too)

Finally I've been kind of a zombie and sometimes looked and smelled like that, which, by right I was accused for. Needless to say that our relashionship went down with my developement.
I don't know exactly what has been the final stone, but someday at the beginning of the year a big STOP popped up in my mind, if there is something left of your life and your relationship you have to turn around right now.
I started to follow most of her suggestions, accepted that I have depressions, went to the doctor, took care for my health and appearence and the like. Almost incidental I started to enjoy my dress-code again (being depressed I almost forgott about it).
She realized and appreciated most of it, and for a short time I had the hope that we could come clother together again. But I very soon had to realize that she had some other intentions concerning my dress code. A final talk about that ended up that she insulted me, though I think it has not been her intention, but to explain herself.
I think this made the decison for the both of us easy to break up. She couldn't get a grip on my dress code and I am no human being without it.
This way the circle closed. I am styled in public now a bit more fem than those days when we met and we have a relationship that is almost as good as before we became a couple.

Though this story didn't make me afraid of another relationship or women, it made me very suspicious about the phrase "I am accepting you because I love you".
In my case it ended up in physical and psycic problems.
Now that this is over and I've come closer to myself I think I am feeling better than most of my life or maybe since ever.

* I know that I am retired, but I thought my story might be of interest for some.

[sue ellan]

a very sad thread melanie. no one should have to go through any thing like that, i don't care what it is all about. my SO has know about my crossdressing for a long time. i think what helped me in being accepted was when i asked my SO to go with me to a lane brayant store. after that it got a little easier between us. about a year ago she said i should order the catalogs that sold large ladies clothes. now i can order almost any thing that i want to. (have to watch the bank statement also) all though i have not went overboard with my ordering. when i place a order i all ways ask her if it is ok to order it. you have my :love:
sue ellan

[Karren H]

I don't know how you made it through that with your sanity, Melanie.....makes me feel lucky..

Its been a almost a year but seems like last week. I was dressed and working enfemme off site for the day when my wife called on the cell phone. "What are theses skirts doing in your closet?". SHIT. So I told her and after 30 minutes of freaking out over the phone she calmed down. We touched all the typical topics.. That was around noon. What made this event stranger was that I was dressed enfemme like all the other soccer moms out that day and my wife didn't know it...and still has never seen me dressed... After I finished up my work, changing back to drab, and drove home, by 5pm she had done some research on the web and to my surprise everything was sooo normal. And my fem clothes were neatly folded in a pile on my side of the bed. We talked numerous times about my "hobby" and more than anything she was scared to death the kids and friends would find out, we would have to move and I'd loose my job! Funny to, she's the one that told me I couldn't quite if I wanted to. She was right of coarse.

So she's still in love with the man she married though she doesn't appreciate my "hobby", no one died (ie: me), and no lawyers were enriched in the process!! Now as long as I keep it out of her face, were both happy girls..

Hope things go better for you the next go around, Melanie!!


Love Karren

[Pat >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]

When I came out to my g/f of 9 years, she was very hurt and confussed. I did do some reserch for her and that did not help either. It took her 3 monthes to love me again. She still does not still understand but I still dress when I am home alone. She does ask questions and I try to talk about it. I had a rough time growing up, we always talk about my childhood. I am not asking her to "join" me in my crossdressing life. I have been to a doctor which has helped both of us.

Pat

[Bernadina]

I told my wife about my CDing very early while dating. The next day she helped me dress and did my makeup so we could go out to a GNO together.

The key here is to tell her very very early in the relationship, before any strong commitment is made to each other. There is a lot to gain if she accepts and a little to lose if she doesn't.

[Kimberley]

For me it went badly. There were hurt feelings etc and in the end I purged. Duhhh, you would think I would know better. Anyway the purge ended with "the awakening" and I nearly went crazy. I stayed in the closet and got some good help. Eventually I just came to accept myself as being who I am and the rest of the world can go to ****. Then about 5 years ago I purged again in a fit of domestic stupidity. Early this year I came out of the purge (with a gentle nudge from my pdoc).

My wife has been unaccepting and consequently unsupportive. There have been threats of divorce but when I didnt react as expected they quickly stopped.

A while ago there may have been a crack open up when she watched Transamerica with me. I tried to explain as best I could to a novice and may have made a little bit of inroad. Time will tell.

I am eternally optimistic that things will turn around with her but if it does fall apart I know I will survive and I will be happy with myself. It wont be easy but it will be possible for Kimberley to celebrate her life anew.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Kimberly]

We had the hottest times. :)

That's what happened after I told her... then we broke up - she told me it wasn't to do with the dressing, but I have my doubts.

[lizbeth GG]

Melanie, I am so sorry you had to go through that.

I am looking forward to the day when my fiance' and I can discuss his hobby, be it just women's shoes or full on crossdressing. Maybe soon...

[Melanie]

Sisters,

all of you above,thanks so much for your comments,wishes and of course your own stories,it's so interesting to see how one's SO react to us coming out.
I definately know that being a CD has not helped 3 past realtionships and the other 3 women I told we're moderate to accepting.

Thanks again for you compassion too(sniff,sniff),

big warm hugs to all
Melanie :hugs::love:

[Melinda G]

How many times do we have to go over this? Just enjoy it, and keep it your little secret. Nine times out of ten, it is going to end badly, if you come out to anyone. Why would you want anyone to think of you that way, anyway?

[carol ehlert]

yes same thing happen to me . she left and got everything caril ehlert

[jessicaparrot]

I dated my wife for about 2 days and I told her. I thought that if she realy wanted to be with me she would accept me for me. if not no great loss only 2 day of time and a learning experence for both of us.
She accepted me for me after alot of questions and alot of talking .Now she even takes me shopping :hugs:

[Bev06 GG]

Melanie,
Im sorry to hear your news. However, I think what your girlfriend did was to bame you for her little indescrepancy. Transfering the blame and the guilt that goes with it is just a get out clause. If I had a £1 for every CD who had told me that there split up was due to their dressing I'd be on my way to becoming a millionaire, (well slight exaggeration). If she had wanted to get back at you she would have finished the relationship period. This type of behaviour is totally unacceptable and very cruel. Afterall, what harm does crossdressing do to anyone, infidellity on the other hand is very damaging and the pain she has caused you immeasurable. You deserve better.
Take care
BEVExxxx

[brun123]

When i told my gf, she was supportive yet had many questions, lots of which i was still asking myself. She now does my makeup and takes me shopping.

[CheriTV2006]

When I was first dating my ex, one night she got kinky and put a sexy blouse on me. I took this as a cue after that night mistakingly and showed her my recent polaroids the following night over a candlelight dinner in a very nice restaurant. She turned white, got upset, and marched down the street back to her apartment. We broke off for a day and then she started calling me back to get together. The issue never surfaced again until she found some new photos during our divorce 7 years later and tried to use them against me.
Cheri.

[cdwales]

i told my long term patner mow fiance after a night out with my brother and friends when after a drunken argument he decided tell me in front of two of his friends that he knew about me wearing womens underwear.i was gutted and cried all night so because she d never seen me cry before she knew there was something badly wrong.i eventually told her and she took it fairly well at first but then told me she never wants to see it ,which i find really hard because after all these years of me thinking no one knew suddenely people do know and although it has nt been mentioned since i don t think i will ever get over what happened.what really annoys me about her is that she says she understands yet whenever there is an arguement she throws it all back in my face.

[Kristen Kelly]

Thank God you didn't propose. Who knows what sort of horrors she was planning to spring on you - under the most 'ideal' circumstances.

Call me an ideological slave to base / superstructure, but dressing does not change anyone that much.

Sigh. Once someone calls you 'f***ot,' it's over.

You got out with your skin.

Now cherish it, doll; tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

I agree with daytripper, my ex-wife never knew till after our divorce, the last 3 years of my marriage was a horror story, could have convinced any jury it would have been justified homicide or self defense. You have been blessed to not have to endure prolonged pain of marriage to that she-devil. Remember people should try to work out their differences, not going one for one to try to get back.

My present GF is a wonderful sweetheart just read my posts to how she accepted what I had to tell her.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34731

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36222

[Myst]

A sad, sad story Malanie... I can only imagine the hurt that you must have gone through after such an experience. Awful. :(

BUT... the good thing is that you didn't get married and that things have ended. As bad as it was, things could have gotten much, much worse, I'm sure.

I know after I told my g/f about my crossdressing, she didn't take it well... not at first. After some months had passed, she dressed me all up... did my make-up, hair, everything... it was amazing! albeit, short-lived. She does not like what I do... which at the time wasn't even that much. These days, my desire to dress is so much stronger, but I am keeping it in the closet.

[Melanie]

[quote=cdwales;537288]i told my long term patner mow fiance after a night out with my brother and friends when after a drunken argument he decided tell me in front of two of his friends that he knew about me wearing womens underwear.


Wow how did you deal withi this?.
I believe that my younger brother had also found some of my hidden lingerie many years ago as every time we had a fight he would call me derogatory names like 'pussy' or bitch.

I think family or SO's throwing it in our faces is cruel and clearly shows that they do not understand what we are about.
It's simple really,
we just like to wear women's clothes and look pretty.
I wish it were that easy.

Thanks again for some very interesting stories sisters and your compassion of course(Bless all of you) and best of luck if you do decide to 'come out"

Big hugs,

Melanie :hugs:

[JD Jade Dream GG]

accidently posted this on another topic,
have plenty to say here! More so when I reread
what y'all have posted!



Marla, I can relate my hubby's story to yours for the mostpart.
High BP and all. The final straw/stone for me ...cheating!
His final straw...retalitory betrayal in my outing his CD'ing.
Good news is....CD.com.

Too bad we did not have the foresight to save our marriage.com
or something like quit neglecting love.com.

Karen, you are really cute en femme. Hope the missus doesn't mind
me saying so.

Can't quite read my notes inre to the first few posters names 'cept
excellent key to Bernadina?

Lets go shopping Jessica

So many are in the closet Myst

Playing is fun but a lifestyle? I just wanted to argue but forgot who posted! LOL

And STAND THE F UP

Dress Up!!!

Say "THIS is the best I ever feel and I hope you
will still like/love me" to who you want to come out to!

Not many of you actually are "feeling that good"
about who you are but "feeling great" when you are
'dressed'! Get dressed!!!!!!!!!!! Duh!!! Feel great!

I am not one to talk really, I've been in love with a CD
for years and he found someone else. Just a friend for
quite a while until.....she was not! But this one is not
gonna go away. So I will be divorced soon. Does not
feel "great" yet. Probably never will feel great. But I
will never give up the pursuit of happily ever after!

Everyone should strive to end their life
living their truest fantacy/ies. Even if they are
jaded dreams. Don't give up the ideal of having a
50th anniversary! I have 19. Staring over hoping I
live to be 95 or so now before my 50 dream comes true.
It's a goal.
It's a new plan!
Everyone should pursuit their dream!
Especially those who have not started working towards
them yet.
JD

[marcielegs]

I have to agree with Melinda G. I haven't told my wife. It's better she doesn't know.

[sophieuk]

When i chatted to my best mate emma, a GG, i said i was going to TRY and stop the dressing because of what people thought. she said " You are who you are. If some one does not like you because of the things you do, then they are not a real friend". This was so true. My wife left me about five years ago. I still stay friends, for my son etc. She said she did not mind the dressing, but deep down i know she does. Sorry to hear what you walked in to. But you must, for your self, over come this and be who tyou are. Inside, you are a loving person who has so much to give. Go out there and find some one who loves you for who you really are. there are these people out there, you just need to find them. Another friend i hav, a GG said that if she was not married, she would go oiut with me, dressing and all. She said it would be fun to dress me up and that. Dame, why she married.

love sophieuk X

[gennee]

My wife was cool and calm after I told her. She didn't ask about 'Gennee' and I didn't force the issue, either. One day she wanted to see some of my outfits. She commented that I had better clothes than she did.

Now we share each other's skirts and tops. Just today, she wore a pink pullover of mine. Funny how things work out.

Gennee

[debitv]

Melanie, I think you may want to try looking at this from a different angle.

This is a blessing in disguise. Obviously neither of you was really getting what the other thought he or she was getting. Imagine if you had waited to tell her until you were already married! Believe me, if she had done what she did after you were already married, the pain would have been ten times worse.

What she did was cruel, and if you hadn't seen that side of her before you told her, then this let you see what you were really in for if you crossed her.

I know it's hard to accept the possiblility, but this was a GOOD thing that happened to you and will make life better for you in the long run.

If they're like she is, you don't want them sharing your bed and your heart.

Best of luck,

Debitv

[AmandaM]

I told my wife two months into dating. She said, "So?". Then it was do what I want. Tell them early, then walk if they don't like it.

She got mad, so she bedded three men?! What a BITCH! Maybe she wasn't the gem you thought she was.

[Lourie James]

I told my now wife when we were first dating. She saidthat she would like to see what I look like a a girl. We have gone on from there. This is not to say that we have a bed of roses. Now of days as I'm retired I get to dress most days. I have been wear panties all our marred life, her big complant is I have more clothes then most girls, we both do like to shop I keep my cheast
clean but she dosn't like me to shave my arm or legs.
I think i'm very lucky but if I had hide this from her I don't think she would be the same. When you wate it is like laying to her. She may try to get ues to your dressing but she must trust you.


Lori

[Melanie R]

Melanie,

IMy name is also Melanie who has been there and done that. You will survive. My first wife totally rejected me because of the dressing. She wanted a "real man". Several months after the divorce I met Peggy, my wife of 26 years and the rest is history. My story is told in Peggy's first book, My Husband Wears My Clothes, and the recent show on WE, Secret Lives of Women - Married to Crossdressers. Six years into my marriage with Peggy and two weeks before my first wife's sudden death she told me that she had made a horrible mistake in divorcing me. As she stated, "I had a real man - he just like to dress as a woman sometimes.

There are women who will accept you for who you are and not reject you for what you wear. This type of woman has to be seeking a man who is caring, sensitive and has a balance between his masculinity and femininity. This woman is one who is intelligent and eager to learn, is secure with her own femininity and is emotionally secure with herself. There are women who meet this critieria. This is not to say that you can't exist in a marriage with a woman who only tolerates your crossdressing and will not participate. Some of these women in time will come to fully accept and participate. I have seen this happen in many cases. That is why I say do not give up on your wife.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Melanie]

Gosh it's so nice to see many of you express your concern and wishing me the best for the future,
Bless you all(sniff ,sniff, reaching for the Kleenex box,lol.

Melanie I appreciate your input very much but so far I do not have a wife.I did have another GF back in the late 80's whom I lived with who participated in my dressing.She was very cool about it and bought me lingerie,what a rush it was.At the end she also cheated and said she wanted a real man' a bit like your situation,but different outcome.

I often think than women can only take so much of CDing,except in some cases,like your own.

Hugs sisters,

Melanie :hugs::love:

[martina2005]

My wife went absolutely nuts at first. She really thought I was gay. but after long talks she calmed down and eventually she asked me to obey some rules. At first I didnt and we had huge rows again, but now she just wants me not to exclude her form it and just be honest with her. But the goal post moves alot to suit her lol. Oh and also, when I look for clothes and shoes for me, I cannot look for clothes for her at the same time! Back in the U.K. we went to the Pink Punters together and had a brill time!
Martina x

[martina2005]

I have to agree with Melinda G. I haven't told my wife. It's better she doesn't know.

You just need to get over the fear Marcie! My wife is a bit sceptical, but she still tries to this day to understand and help me.

[TrannyJenny]

Im with Martina and Melinda, If you dont have to tell to your wife....Dont tell:happy:

[Tiana]

i waited till we had talked about getting married as it was not fair to live a lie and if i lost her then although it would hurt it was the right thing to do in my opinion at that time.
she took it bad to start with and thought there was a gay problem connected with it but she read some leaflets and then saw me dressed and within a few months accepted it as 'normal' and today many years later she still says what she said back then that i would not be the same person without it as it calms me and she calls it my stress reliever so that was one major thing in my life where honesty was indeed the best policy though it could have easily gone the other way and who knows where i would be now

[sybercom11]

When I told my wife several years after we got married, she first asked if I was gay. I said no I had never been really except for some experimenting and fooling around with other boys when I was in junior high.

She asked if I was bisexual. I said maybe because I do find men attractive.

She asked if I had been unfaithful, with a man that is. I said definitely not.

She did say she sort of figured this would be the case as I am so sensitive for a male, a trait that she loves very much in me. You see, my wife had had an abusive boyfriend before she met me. Apparently he was a control freak and had to boss her around. She swore that would never happen again. That, she said, was why she was attracted to me, because I was so sensitive and caring.

Still my wife said she did not want me running around in public in wigs and dresses and I said I did not have that desire. (I have put on a wig only for pictures I have posted on the Web occasionally.) She said she did not want me wearing women's nighties to bed. I said fine.

And that was it. Over the last 20 years, we have been fine. In fact, I have evolved into the role of submissive and she really loves that. She loves me shaved totally smooth and in panties. I am so so lucky. I do the housework for her and worship her orally and make her feel like a queen. I can't believe more women would not want that.

As I have posted elsewhere on this site, I still do not go out in wig and makeup and dresses and heels, but I do go around in female clothing that I can get away with and that's pretty much everything but skirts and dresses and heels.

I am so lucky that my wife does love my girlie side because I have read the horror stories here. I guess that is why I became so submissive to her; I wanted to show my appreciation each and every day.


stevie

[tv`s_wifey]

Hi melinie
i read your story, and it was terrible of what she did,
i can understand why she done it, but she did it in the wrong way.
Im married to a tv but i found out 4 months after we got married,
and just had a baby,
to be honest if he told me before we got married i would have run a mile,
although he did drop a couple of hints to me,
but i never clicked on,
we`d been together 6 months when he told me he used to dress in womens clothes but he was 17 and hadnt done it since,
so i was okay with it,
dont get me wrong i am very opened minded,
but when i was young i had to grow up knowing my mum was gay,
and it split her marriage up with my dad,
but i also found out that my dad was a cd/tv and slept with guys for fun, even though he does prefure women,
so i vowed to myself to find some one normal to take me away from all the crap,
so by the time i reached 21 i already had a child by a previouse relationship,
then i met my husband,
i was so happy that i met my night in shinning armour,
until 4 months into our marriage, i always knew something wasnt right i knew deep down he was hiding something,
it was thanks to a pizza that i found out,
the door bell rang and it was the delivery guy,
our comp was in the kitchen, so i went in to get the plates,
i looked at the screen to see a message box flashing,
so me being nosey i had a look to find a guy saying how big is your ****!!
so i looked at the whole conversation and found many sexuall things said,
so of course i went mad,
well i thought he went gay on me!!!
after i`d finished throwing up in the garden he explained to me that he was still a tv, i couldnt except it,
it was to much, i convinced myself he was bi,
all this time thinking i would have a normal life just for him to put me smack bang in the middle of it!!
also i had postnatal depression from having a baby,
so for months he was trying to convince me that he has no feeling towards guys at all,
it was one night we went out that we sat at a table that we started talking about it carmly,
and i began to except it,
i didnt understand why he needed to do it but i stood by him,
so one night he dressed up for me and i must admit i had to take over,
he looked awfull,
so from then on i brought him clothes did his make up,
or we went shopping together,
we got really close,
we started going out to tv night clubs so it was fun,
sometimes it did get to much because i wanted my handsome husband back,
it was all going smoothly, he said he was a very lucky man, that most tv`s would wish they had a wife like me,
so it gave me a boost knowing that i was perfect for him and that i pleased him,
but it all went down the drain,
i went on holiday for the first time since finding out,
when i came back i looked into history (instinct kicked in)
and found that he had been having his sexual chats with men and showing himself on cam,
not in a sexual way just as him dressed up,
i was so upset my world had come crashing down on me,
he broke his promises of no more chats,
or doing anything while i was away,
i was only gone for a week!
you see we had this pact that he wouldnt dress up while i wasnt there,
well he can,
but not go out like it, not with out me,
it wasnt that i didnt trust him,
it was so that i could keep him safe,
and that i couldnt trust him,lol
So i was ready to pack my bags, i felt after all the hard work i`d gone through to try and help him,
and i felt i wasnt perfect or enough for him to do that,
he was really sorry and because i loved so much i gave him another chance,
but i wouldnt allow him to dress up,
i just felt it was my enemy it broke my trust so much that i couldnt let it back into my life, he couldnt understand this,
i just hated it in the end,
but we moved since then to another country, and he told me one night that he needed to do it,
i had to think first, i knew it was something he had since he was five,
who was i to come along and stop it, but i was scared,
also i have this thing that i would do anything to please him,
which of course leads me to being a mug and he knows it,
so we gave the tv another chance,
im still not to sure with it, i feel that i cant really trust it,
and recently i refure his tv as another person,
and i say to him dont let her break the trust!
its like having a third person in my marriage,
two`s a company threes a crowed, that kind of thing!
i really love him but i wish sometimes that she would go away,
its hard to actually see it as him,
i know its all him, but my mind wont except it,
so i put down new rules seen as she wont go away,
i`ll help him if he dont do the chats any more, and he dosnt go out without me!
he seems happy with that,
im still a bit iffy with it, but im trying hard to let it back in my life again,
but i do put this brick wall up sometimes, to protect myself i guess,
i do the wrong thing some times when we have an arguement,
i throw things in his face like you bi tranny and i know it hurts him,
and i feel so bad after wards but its my way at getting back at him and its the wrong thing to do,
but i guess deep down i havnt got over the trust breaking thing,
im still confused sometimes that if he isnt bi then why did he do these chats, he`s tried to explain,
but it dosnt make sence they just sound like stupid excuses to me,
but i want to believe him, and i want to help him,
i love him and will do till the day i die,

So like i said melenie i can see why she would go with another man she probably thought she needed a real man, im not saying you aint,
because you still are,
but some times its hard to see my husband as a man,
its worse when i see this 6ft bloke buying himself frock,
i felt sometimes walking off with a normal man, but thats only because my husband can get a bit heartless and insensative sometimes,
and seems he dosnt care of what i feel and want,
its his way of pretecting himself, but i would never go off with another man or do what that girl did,
its a shame you had to see that,
she should of just walked away, like i should of, but im in to deep with love to walk,
also it isnt that easy because im only 25 and have two children,
you did all the right things so dont blame your self, im not saying she was right, far from it, she did the worst thing possible.
you told her how much she ment to you and how much you loved her,
i guess if my husband showed me more of his loving, sensative, caring side then maybe i could except it better.

I would like to say to all the tv/cd/ts/tg`s out there that if you have a partner,
no matter how long you have been with them,
tell them your secret, marriage is all about sharing, and no secrets, partner ship should be seen as one,
if they lay down rules dont break them be fair,
and DONT by all means break their trust, if you want them to except it then be there for them aswell,
if they cant except it, then they are not the one for you,
i might not be happy with it but i wont stop it,
and if they wont to ask alot of questions, let them,
answer them as best as possible,
they will feel that their not enough for you to be doing it,
comfort them tell them why you love them and how specail they are,
they will need to hear these things,
it will make it easier on you aswell,
alot of women feel intimadated by porn because they think you want the pornstars instead of them,
its the same when it comes to tv`s,
what can it give you that we cant,
i know what it is, but alot of women dont.
and dont push them out.
sorry this is so long and thanks for reading. it might not make alot of sence to some of you.xxxxxx:love:

[Melanie R]

Im with Martina and Melinda, If you dont have to tell to your wife....Dont tell:happy:

Why would you try to keep this important part of who you are from your wife? Eventually she will find out and any trust in the relationship is damaged. Keeping this part of you a secret is the height of selfishness.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Tommie Rae]

I first told my wife about 20 years ago, and she became very depressed. Turns out that depression runs in her family and with therapy and medication she is finally back to being normal. We went through several years of counselling and she could never accept it. This past January we had a huge argument about it, she left for four days, came back, and we have tried to just be normal. I do not buy or wear any obvious female clothes. She says the thing that worries her most is that the cross-dressing will always be there. I told her that is probably true. I did not promise to quit, because I know better, but I have been trying to be the real guy she married. Any dressing I do is when I know she will be gone for quite some time, and even then I keep it to a minimum. In some ways I'm glad she knows - she also told her best friend about it and it didn't bother me at all. In other ways I wish I had stayed in the closet and not caused her so much pain. Isn't it funny how much trouble we will go through to protect the people we love from things we think will hurt them?

[Snookums]

When I first met my SO I asked her what her thoughts were on crossdressing,these are her exact words.
Crossdressing is better than being a pedophile,rapist,meth head,or ignorant.
She has no problem with it,but sometimes she gets concerned for my safety when I go out in heels and jeans,wish it was safe enough here to go out in shorts,pantyhose,and heels.