The best time to tell.

[viviane]

Hello,

I wonder when someone think is the best time to tell a loved one about cross-dressing. As for relationship, I think there is an interest to pursue and no relationship whenever you feel comfortable.

I know a few people who do not know about me but if they told me they seen a picture. I would tell them it is I. Viv. They will have to deal and adjust to it.


Viviane

[Sharon]

Viviane,
If you think the relationship has a possibility of becoming a good one, meaning long term, then the earlier the better. It'll also be easier!!
Otherwise, for casual friendships, It's all up to you, depending on how far into the closet you are.
Sharon

[DonnaT]

Sharon's right. If you think, even the slightest, it is going to be a long term relationship it is best to tell as early as possible.

[genevieve_ohara]

But brace yourself....

Many of us end up revealing their CD life at the end of a relationship...because once we reveal it, the relationship ends.

No joke intended.

So be ready for it to end. And to tell yourself that the CD part was worth losing the other person. If...it is.


Love

G

[Wendy me]

i agree with G some people just are not or can not be ready to "share"this with i have been dropping hints to my wife for years (i think she knows) but she is closed minded and i do love her i want to let her meet wendy ( ithink thay would be real good girlfreinds) but i n the prossess i don't want to push her out of uor life . some things take time and somethings coast too mutch in who you hurt you have to do what is right at the time

[AnnaMaria]

I think that coming out to friends is simply a matter of the personality of the friend. If you know that the person is closed minded then you should consider not telling them but if the person has an open mind then telling them could make your friendship stronger and more long lasting.

As for telling an SO, I would have to agree with the other girls. The sooner you tell them the better off you are going to be. But, you have to be ready for the worst reaction. The person may be like my wife and accept you for who you are just simply because of their over-riding love for you, or they could tell you that you have to choose between the two. When I told my wife I had basicly decided that telling was the lesser of two evils. Either I tell her and deal with the outcome or I continue to hide it and hope that she doesn't find something that would give me away and assume that there is another woman in my like that the stuff belongs to.

No matter what you decide to do, in the long run you have to accept the fact that sooner or later someone is going to find out one way or another and there are going to be things to deal with. For me it was a matter of wanting to control the damage caused be the revelation rather than trying to repair the damage after it had been done. It is your choice and your life and in the end you have to make the choice as to who and when. Just try to be graceful and caring about it and in the end you will be able to better deal with the emotions that come with it.

huggs
anna

[Sweet Susan]

The simple truth is no matter how well you know somebody, their reaction to seeing you dolled up as a woman cannot be realistically known. They will react the way they will react. The best route is to just tell them. Expect the worst, and hope for the best. Don't even believe that they will understand. Who does? Do you?

[Marlene4a]

Viviane:

The only thing I can offer is my own experience.
You said the magic word "loved one".
By this, you must tell them. But first you must accept it yourself. I did'nt say understand, because you never will.

But do tell them.

You might want to re-read Sweet Susan's post, because I could not have said it better than her. There is a lot of wisdom in her words.

Love

[Tonia]

[QUOTE=genevieve_ohara]But brace yourself....

Many of us end up revealing their CD life at the end of a relationship...because once we reveal it, the relationship ends.

No joke intended.

So be ready for it to end. And to tell yourself that the CD part was worth losing the other person. If...it is.


Love

Well said Genevieve, Viviane I did exactly that after 23 years and now that's over I'm not looking back. And for new relationship that will be the First thing to come out no more hiding.

Love Tonia :o ;) :D

[Rachel Elizabeth]

I was too young to really understand what was "wrong with me". I got married [still am] to a great girl. Two years into the marriage, I told her that I liked the feel of women's clothing. She went ballistic. Up until 1993, she would search everywhere...the house, the car, etc....for any sign of Rachel's clothes. It was emotionally draining every time we had a confrontation. In 1993, she told me that she had done research regarding cross dressing and explained it to me. BUT...our sex relationship disappeared. We have both been celebant since then.

Now...the moral of the story is what the other girls have said:

You never know how they will accept it.
You never know what impact it will have on the relationship.
The best time to tell is before any real commitments occur, and even some times this changes.

Her mother had no problems with it [she told mom.] Amazing.

Rachel