Intimate while dressed???

[jacob]

I have relatively accepting girlfriend, she seems to be pretty cool with me dressing but shows no signs of encouragement nor is she ever critical. However, she does seem the most uneasy or removed if I want to be intimate while wearing lingerie. Has Anyone else had a similar experience?

[linnie]

Hi jacob,

Not been in that situation, but would it help if your girlfriend was dressed in similar apparel, maybe she feels threatened as a female, with her boyfriend dressed in lovely lingerie.

Hope things work for you both,

:love: Linnie

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Jacob,
Well talk to her about it. I doubt somehow that its a case of feeling threatened, I know that this seems to be a popular opinion by some CDs but to be honest I think it will be more a case of just feeling uncomfortable with something she's not familiar with. It does seem rather strange at first because its not what we are used to. However, with the right encouragement and understanding the sky could be your limit.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Shawna25]

I am glad your g/f is accepting....if my girlfriend ever found out about my femme side I could consider our relationship over and I don't want to risk losing a good thing

[CDsWifey GG]

Hi Jacob,
Well talk to her about it. I doubt somehow that its a case of feeling threatened, I know that this seems to be a popular opinion by some CDs but to be honest I think it will be more a case of just feeling uncomfortable with something she's not familiar with. It does seem rather strange at first because its not what we are used to. However, with the right encouragement and understanding the sky could be your limit.
Take care
BEVxxxx
I agree, just ask her exactly what it is that she is feeling, and how you can help her to adjust... you may have to take baby steps with this, and be in tune enough to know when is a good time to try and when isn't.

[Tracy_Victoria]

Jacob

there are many level's of crossdresssing acceptance, and just because a SO can accept you enjoy wearing female clothes that does not mean she finds it sexually atractive on you.

you must remember she is probably not gay, and does not fancy woman, therefore she probably see your dressing as a bit of fun, but not something she wants to take in to your bedroom, ie that you and her time, not you her and your fantasy!

Personally in my own case, I'd like to be able to be is the same room as my partner dressed, it may happen it may not, but I'm happy for what we have! I personally have no desire to be Tracy in the bedroom, so it not a goal of mine however no one knows what the future holds for us, and different things affect us in different ways, and our minds, outlooks and dreams change as we grow older. therefore "Never Say Never" but be content with what you have as many of the girls in here will tell you you have far, far more than they could ever dream of happening, ie it's a rare girl that understands, and an even rarer one that want this in their bedroom.

my :2c:

[Diane Paris]

I think Bev's advice is right on target. If a woman is uncomfortable with the idea of "intimacy" when her partner is in femme attire of any kind, she must work through the issues that most any woman would encounter in this situaiton.

She will need to sort out if you are being feminine in your head when you wear femme attire, and how does she react to the fact that you may be feeling girly while being intimate.

I would think it could be confusing to a woman who is not accustomed to being intimate with a manly man, while wearing attire normally worn by a woman. It must create some confusion or inconsistency in her mine.

Taking the slow approach as Bev as suggested make sense to me.

Diane

[suchacutie]

everyone is wired differently. if your gf is really in tune with your feminine side, and if she is not wired to find that sensual, you can see that would create an issue if you pressed it. you do need to speak with her, but don't be surprised if you hear that women don't excite her that way, and that she might not be interested in "mixing modes", i.e. when you are en femme, you are a women in her mine. Hey, isn't that what you want?

so, talk with her, sort it out, but don't be surprised if she really wants a girlfriend and a male intimate.

tina

[melanieee]

Hi Jacob,
my girlfriend is ok with my cding,but in bed she wants a naked man! Fine lingerie on me did nothing for her when the sheets were rolled back, shes quite happy for me to be dressed in the bedroom but not while intimate.Im ok with that. Shes pretty good,my cding turns her on but there is a line I cant cross.... but you never know.......

[Janice Ashton]

Hi Jacob, your question raises several answers I feel? 'Being intimate with a wife or partner whlie dressed' I once had a discussion with a GG friend of mine and an opinion was raised that for a CD/TV's desired intimacy with a wife or partner creates this question in a GG's mind, Does 'He' need to raise his sexual desire by dressing (similar to watching porno movies) then want to be intimate with me,'or' does he want to be intimate with me because I arouse his sexual desire? My GG feels that it should be the woman's sexual appeal that arouses the sexual desire in the man and not that he should get sexually aroused by other means then just want a woman to relieve his sexual feelings.
I hope I explained that in some form of understandable sense.
Correct me if I am wrong but most, not all, CD/TV's find the process and application of dressing, 'narcissistic' and has a certain 'sexual conatation' (not in evryones case I might add) hence the question raised, is it a sexual lift toward intimacy. It's an interesting scenario.
Best wishes Louise

[Billie1]

I always try to remember that a relationship consists of partners being sensitive to each other's needs and desires. I deal with each occassion as it occurs. Even though my SO has had lesbian relationships in the past, our's is based on a "hetro" gender identity. I'm always mindful of that. But, sometimes we will 'bend the rules' a little bit for fun!

Be respectful, ask, and sometimes, ye shall recieve!

[Kristen Kelly]

I am glad your g/f is accepting....if my girlfriend ever found out about my femme side I could consider our relationship over and I don't want to risk losing a good thing

Give her credit I felt the same way but had to tell her for our relationship was going nowhere because I felt I was holding back from her. Read my posts to see how well thing have been going

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34731

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36222

[Bombi]

Hi I,m Bombi. I'm new. My experience is that you should never wear anything prettier than what your SO wears. My SO perfers that I don't wear lingerie when we are intimate and I accept that because she is so accepting of me. Good Luck

[janiecdbbw]

I feel that as long as you don't pressure her, support her desires,.. . keep communications open... she may realize that this can enhance the fun, not replace the fun...

[vbcdgrl]

Your g/f is obviously uncomfortable with this scene. Talk to her and see if you can find out what it is she's unhappy about. Could be, she's upset with your whole CD thing, and can't decide what to do.

Vikki

[rickie121x]

When I am dressed and with a GG, I am almost always in my Domme mode, and it is just a sexual thing with me. I couldn't imagine it any other way. For instance, my wonderful and unfortunately now long gone GGfriend seemed to really like my femme self - she bought me clothes as presents, loved to have her hand between my nylon-ed thighs, snuggled close to me in the car and when we were in public - I was in heaven!

About once every month, we would go to a party where I would be dressed as a Domme, and after "playing" with her as a submissive at the party, when we arrived home, she would be super happy to have sex while I was still in my "Domme" outfit. I didn't ever notice any reticence or other negative indication during the years we were together. And I truly loved it - for that was a pretty dynamic indicator that I was accepted in that role.

Other ladies in my life - well it didn't work out so well. Some accepted it for awhile, but eventually it was a key element in the breakup.

This "wonderful" thing, crossdressing, that I embrace as an integral part of who I am, is a double edged sword - that is a hard and bitter fact, a dilemma. And I really don't like this dilemma.

Rickie:dom: :doll: :bonk:

[Petra1]

I have relatively accepting girlfriend, she seems to be pretty cool with me dressing but shows no signs of encouragement nor is she ever critical. However, she does seem the most uneasy or removed if I want to be intimate while wearing lingerie. Has Anyone else had a similar experience?

Oh, yeah. Don't even try anymore, out of respect for her feelings. I also don't dress as much in front of her, period. Though she doesn't even flinch when I do dress.

[annekathleen]

I had one intimate experience with my (ex) wife while I was "dressed"
We came home drunk from a wedding and somehow got into the idea of dressing me up in her black and red satin and lace garters, stockings, panties, and bra, and high heels. She was dressed up in my boxer shorts.
Little role reversal here. It was fun hugging and kissing.
It was a one time and one time only, but, I did enjoy it:happy:

[lahr]

When my wife asked what I wanted for my birthday a few years ago I explained that I wanted to buy lingeree for her. We shopped for her lingeree together. Stockings, garter belts, panties The whole 9 yards. Up till that time she wasnt into lingere at all. She liked the way it looked on her and the effect it had on me. Im sure this helped her understand my wearing hose and heels during our (get togethers) Sometimes when shes in the mood for a little action she lays a pair of my heels and hose on the bed. Maybe buying her some lingeree will help your situation. Good luck.

[Jillian310]

Wifey and I ALWAYS begin fun in bed in panties. Fondling, and more, and removing each other's adds a lot of spice. Satin in bright colors has a nice impact. Wouldn't think of intimacy without being in panties.

[Marissa Mae]

My GG just found out that I like to wear heels and bra and panties etc.. since I told her a few days ago, we haven't had any time to be intimate due to our schedules. But, she is coming over tonight, and I am so hoping that she has more questions about this crossdressing thing, and may even want to see me dressed:love:

I hope she is as receptive as some of your SO's are!

[snow]

My wife and I find that me dressing has added a new side to sex life. We share many nights as girlfriends ( I sometimes wonder if she would like for me to be a true female ). Other times she likes to take control and be the male. We definately enjoy times now that she knows about my other side.

[Donna Ellis GG]

give your g/f time and dont push it on to her, talk to her and see what she wants.

[DAVIDA]

My wife and I have been intimate on occasion while I was dressed.
I even sleep with my "GIRLS" on and a nightgown, but whin it comes right down to it , she prefers ALL CLOTHING TO START FLYING!