Should I travel dressed?

[Gemma Rhodes]

Hi All.

I have a dilemma and wanted your advice. I am going to see my brother in London on Wednesday (about 170 miles from where I live) and will be travelling on the train. My brother has not met Gemma before though he has seen pics and knows that she will be coming with me on Wednesday.

My dilemma is...do I travel dressed or not. Im not under any illusions I will fool everyone but think at a first glance I can be fairly passable. Its just that a good friend of mine recently travelled to Brighton on the train dressed and I am thinking of doing the same.

I really, really want to but not sure how people will react to me.

Gemma xx

[Bev06 GG]

Well Gemma baby,
Knowing you as I do I'd say I wouldn't if I was you. What if you lose your nerve. Its a long journey girl and you'll be on your own. Plus the fact it might be alittle gentler on your bro and his partner if you break em in gradually. Well thats my thoughts anyhow.
Hope you have a great time whatever you decide to do.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Sandra]

I agree with Bev, if you brother hasn't met Gemma yet it may be better to go in drab. Also traveling to London on a train could get hot and uncomfortable and you may not arrive looking your best, I did this trip the other month it was very hot and sticky and I felt mucky and sweaty when I got there. I would change when I got there, but what ever you do have a good time.

[older not wiser]

Hi Gemma, I'm going to throw my:2c: in also, I agree with Bev and Sandra. Let the brother see Gemma at her best!!! Another time would be better to travel that distance, say in another two months when its cooler.

Love; BonnieAnne:GE:

[Tracy_Victoria]

Same here

passing for so long and with no bolt holes is kind of a silly risk you clearly don't need to take. if you want to meet your brother en-fem book a room near by dress, then go to your meeting.

Given the current situation and sercurity problems, people are being more aware of there fellow travellers and looking deeper and harder at them. only natural went some nut with a motive, wants to take himself and other on a death trip. So I don't thing this is a good idea, certainly if your not confident (Ie need to ask us) also a Man dressed as a girl, twitchy with nerves, might get mistaken for having a different cause, and it might get a bit embaressing or more.

hope this helps

[julie w]

to travel en femme you need to be very confident , although it would be easyer on a train than a plane ,

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Gemma...I work on the principle that if you have to ask...then the answer is NO.!!...have a great time whatever.!!!
Love Nikki. xxx

[annekathleen]

Just dont travel "undressed":heehee:

[cdwales]

you feminine enough for me but it s a big step maybe you should do a shorter journey first?

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Gemma

I may have the perfect solution
You don't travel dressed it may not be the best idea when meeting your brother
If all goes well.
You can travel home dressed if you feel you can cope with the stress of the long journey
Bev is correct it could be a long uncomfortable day

I would say if in any doubt dont do it

[jessicaparrot]

I would be very careful but if you feel safe and secure in your femininity just go be yourself. Most people just don't care the are just trying to get to where they are going.
:2c:

[Tina Dixon]

Gemma is much of your life now I see why not, but do what feel comfortable with and above all feel safe and be safe.

[Lisa Golightly]

If you need to ask then you're not ready.

[Phoebe Reece]

Gemma, you didn't say if this was to London and back just for the day or if it was an overnight stay.

If overnight, I would say travel to London drab and then maybe home enfemme.

If it is only a day trip with limited time, I would say either go there and back dressed femme or go there and back drab. Otherwise, you would be using up limited time in changing that could be better spent with your brother.

In any case, you should only do what you feel comfortable doing.

[Gemma Rhodes]

Gemma, you didn't say if this was to London and back just for the day or if it was an overnight stay.

If overnight, I would say travel to London drab and then maybe home enfemme.

If it is only a day trip with limited time, I would say either go there and back dressed femme or go there and back drab. Otherwise, you would be using up limited time in changing that could be better spent with your brother.

In any case, you should only do what you feel comfortable doing.

Hi Phoebe.

Im going down on the train on Wednesday and staying with my brother til the Sunday then I'll be coming back in his car as he is coming upto Grimsby.

I will be spending a lot of time as Gemma whilst I am there including going for a meal and going shopping too.

Gemma x

[Kimberly]

Hmm... The only problem I'd have with the train, would be that if you get in a 4 seater part, there will be someone looking at you for a very long time -- probably able to read you. Even in a 2 seater, with you looking at the backs of chairs, you may get someone sitting next to you for a couple of hours -- able to sus you out again.

Just be careful - and do whatever is comfortable for you. :)

[Mitzi]

Gemma..

I've ridden a local transit train from Oakland to San Francisco, a trip of some 20 minutes, en femme a couple of times. I consider myself reasonably passable, and somewhat daring, but the first time it was totally unnerving. A young boy, around 12 years old, stared at me from time to time. The adults with him didn't react at all, so I'm not sure he read me, but there was no escape until the train came to a station.

The other trips were uneventful, but the thought of being trapped loomed in my mind. Obviously I enjoyed it, otherwise I wouldn't have done it a second time.

So, Gemma, unless you have nerves of steel or feel you are totally passable, I wouldn't advise a long trip where you can't just jump off.

Mitzi

[Gemma Rhodes]

So, Gemma, unless you have nerves of steel or feel you are totally passable, I wouldn't advise a long trip where you can't just jump off.

Mitzi

Hi Mitzi.

No, Im not totally passable, at a distance maybe or a quick glance yes.

The more I think about this the more wary I am, but if I put this off now I may never do it.

[Bev06 GG]

It sounds like its make or break and obviously very important to you but I dont understand why you wont have an opportunity to do it again Gemma.
BEVxxx

[Jasmine Ellis]

there are some bad people on trains so I would say no

[Maria D]

If this is part of who you are and how you are going to choose to live a major part of your life, then yes, do it. If it's just pushing yourself or a test of the boundaries, maybe not.
You were talking before about living full time one day; I don't know how that is developing with you, but it means Gemma takes every journey, including her first one, which I know from experience is scary. I went to London from Leeds to see Dr. Reid once and it was fine (but then I do know London as I used to live in it), but the fear was strong.

Only you can decide, it's your life and you don't need our validation or decision making; you live with the concequences, not us, so choose your path as you see fit :)

Take care :)

[Gemma Rhodes]

Hi Girls,

I have re-read this thread over again and decided NOT to travel dressed as Im just not sure how I would cope if I lost my confidence. I do really want to do this as I see it as the next big step for me but am going to travel in drab taking Gemma with me in my suitcase.

Thank you all for your advice, sometimes well thought out but unless I have a sudden change of heart in the morning then I won't be travelling en-femme.

Have spoken to my brother about this too and as he will be at work when I arrive at Kings Cross I will have to get across London on the tube and the last time I travelled on the tube it was very busy, hot and sweaty and I don't think I could cope with the close up scrutiny, yet.

My time will come but I think this was hoping for too much too soon as I develop my Tlife, after all I only made my debut 10 months ago.

Once again, thank you all.


Gemma xx

[Sky]

Im going down on the train on Wednesday and staying with my brother til the Sunday then I'll be coming back in his car as he is coming upto Grimsby. I will be spending a lot of time as Gemma whilst I am there including going for a meal and going shopping too.

Yes, of course! Travel dressed! Why not? Who cares if you pass or not? It's a perfectly safe environment, safer than walking out in the street. Go for it, girl, don't be shy.

By the way, I have flown dressed (quite discreetly but dressed) in the after 9/11 wonderful world of flying, after asking and making sure that no overzealous guard was legally allowed to deny me access. Not that many people actually notices anything, most don't even look around as they walk. But of course the security check stopped when looking at my driver's license, called a supervisor, took me off the line, the supervisor asked me -nice and polite- who are you and where are you going, I didn't get mad and eventually came through among a sea of smiles. (probably sarcastic, but why should I care?). Once in the plane I sat by an elderly gentleman who looked around a couple times, said something silly about the weather (probably just wanted to hear my voice to make sure I was a guy), I answered briefly and from then on he minded his own business. When we arrived he said "have a nice day, ma'am" before leaving. That was it. The flight attendants didn't say a word, as long as you don't cause trouble they don't care if you live or die.

So you see, it's not the end of the world. Just do it. Take the jitters out of your system for good.

(Oops, I just saw your latest post, you've changed your mind. That's too bad. But don't give up, try again sometime later)

[Sam-antha]

I think you have chosen the best way.
Trains can be scary if the journey is long and the thing is crowded. there is just nowhere to go.
OK if it is not busy or you are sure of things.
London tube... not the same problem, people are too busy being themselves.
Good that brother is out when you get there, you can change and welcome him as the new sister.
Love, Huggzzes and best wishes
~Samm

[Jean GG]

How do you feel when people stare at you???

I was out to lunch recently with my niece and there was a cd sitting at the table next to us. I simply could not help looking...yet if s/he noticed...s/he was likely to be offended...buy I could not help looking.

I also wanted to protect my 14 year old niece...and the cd...because if she noticed, I know she would have made some funny remark...which then would have made my heart sink! :) jean

[Sky]

How do you feel when people stare at you???

Two ways to handle it, both easy:

a) Ignore them completely. See? They're gone. Your life goes on. So does theirs.

b) Stare back. They will look away. They weren't that tough, now were they?