i want to tell my parents

[officegirlcd]

hi im 21 years old and have been crossdressing now for 11 years. ever time im alone in the house i get dressed. i want to be dressed all the time when i get home but i dont have enough courage to tell my mum and dad i dress as a woman. Can any one give me any advise please

thanks emma

[Tina Dixon]

Your 21, move out and get your own place and be dressed all the time:thumbsup:

[CheriTV2006]

Hi Officegirl, I was in the same situation at your age. I would carefully evaluate/anticipate your parents likely emotional outcome to this saying you under the same roof with them. Would this add stress to your mutual relationship with them, depending on their attitudes you might forsee? And would you be comfortable with on a day-to-day basis with them in the long-run? Otherwise, this can be resolved just by moving out. Hugs, Cheri.

[CheriTV2006]

Hi Officegirl, I forgot to mention, in my own case, I had been dressing after hours, door locked, when I lived in the family home with my Mom for about two years. I knew this would be too much for her if I told her, so I didn't because I she did not need the extra stress and I felt my needs were not strong enough to possibly do this full time in a family atmosphere. Anyway, she found my hidden wardrobe and we ended up in a highly emotional crossfire for a few days and could not be honest with at all making up every story on the planet. Anyway, I moved out. It was a good catalyst since I began renting my own apartments from then on. However I don't think she needed to find out about my cd'ing and I never intended her to know. Cheri.

[Kimberly]

I was in your situation a few months ago... I told them - but it didn't fulfill my wish... to dress as I pleased around the house.

My Dad has had problems with my crossdressing since I came out to him, and so I haven't been able to go about the house when he's around. It's kept me in my room most of the time, (which in turn creates some great cabin fever... :beatup:)

So, telling them doesn't automatically give you more freedom. Possibly the opposite. Though I don't live in fear of a surprise arrival home anymore - because all can be explained!

[windycissy]

Your 21, move out and get your own place and be dressed all the time:thumbsup:

Tina got it right. Sooner or later you're going to have to spread your wings and make it on your own. Make it sooner. Sooner or later you're probably going to want to share your feelings with your parents. Make it later. You will be in a much better position to tell them if you are supporting yourself and not dependent on their approval.

[Shiny]

I wouldn't say a word to anybody! Just save your money then quietly move to your own place.

[Emma England]

Others have suggested to move out.

However, in my area, people on average wages can not afford to buy a first home. House prices have shot up with all the wealthy Londoners moving down to Devon.

Being 21 means you are an adult now. Ideally, your parents should respect your wishes to make your own decisions. Life is not that simple. :(

[Jasmine Ellis]

21 and still home

[Lisa Maren]

I'm 34 and living back at home with my parents. I sold my condo a few months back so that it could be possible for me to attend graduate school and become a psychologist. It was necessary because I can't do full-time grad school and keep up a job to pay the mortgage.

I knew what moving back in here might mean, but here I am.

Hugs,
Lisa

[Lauren B]

I'm 34 and living back at home with my parents. I sold my condo a few months back so that it could be possible for me to attend graduate school and become a psychologist. It was necessary because I can't do full-time grad school and keep up a job to pay the mortgage.

I knew what moving back in here might mean, but here I am.

Hugs,
Lisa

You too, huh?

I moved back in with parents last fall after my separation, to save money so I can go to grad school without having to worry myself sick over money. It definitely hasn't been easy, but it'll be worth it in the end.

[Sakura Kinomoto]

Well it seems that the only way to get dressed like you want is to have your own place.I drees up when I am alone,I wish I could do it in front of my parents without casing any incidents.I am almost 30,and I havent being able to move anywhere because Mexico City is a very expensive place to live.

However,I dont see my parents that much,so I have a little more time for myself.Still,it would be nice if I could afford a place to live.However the right choice is not to tell your parents because you might drop a smart bomb,your parents will freak out if you tell the truth,and might not understand it.

It is so frustrating to hide what you like mostly because rejection from your parents and maybe even your family.There are some things that are incredible personal,like croosdressing.If you are able to move,then that is where your freedom begins.:eek: :eek:

[Annesah]

I agree with Sakura to an extent, but tell them. You are young and so are they, relatively speaking. Lots of time to adjust and understand. There is also the love component which is always a compensating factor. There is a risk but I think it minimal. Brace yourself and go. Think of the freedom you will have! Win or lose on this one; you will still be beter off. Best wishes. Annie

[Bev06 GG]

Difficult one and as many have already pointed out, its no guarantee that you will have the freedom you so desire. I have found Dads to be the ones who have the problems with it, mums generally seem to be more accepting of anything that their offspring throw at them.
We are always reading about unaccepting GGs but by far the worst are other men when it comes to acceptance, unless of course they are crossdressers themselves.
I'd look into the possibility of getting your own place, I know its more expensive nowadays for youngsters to fly the nest, but it seems to be a good option if you want to live your life as you want to.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Gunda]

Hi,
I'm kind of in the same predicament as Sakura-chan and Jasmine are. Expensive to get my own place in my city and it's far cheaper living at home while I go to grad school. Of course I'd love my own place tommorow if I could, but I'm sacrificing privacy for financial reasons until I get out of school.

Best,
Gunda

[Debbie GG]

I agree with several of the others. Unless you are sure your parents will be accepting (and how can you be sure until you tell them?), I would hold off. You wouldn't actually have to move out but you should be sure you have that option. Knowing nothing about your parents...some people have been known to throw their children out of the house for behavior they disapprove of. I guess I am thinking mostly of young girls who get pregnant without getting married. Not something I usually think of as a paralell behavior to dressing but in this case I think it fits. If your parents really disapprove they may tell you to make other living arrangements if you want to continue dressing. I think it would be very hard to hide your wardrobe, etc. from other people while you are living in their house. They might do a search and destroy mission while you are out.

Hopefully your parents will be accepting. Just be prepared to have other living arrangements in case things don't go well.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Debbie GG

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hi Office girl..

The home is where the heart is, so i have been told.. question is whose heart lol, well I personally believe it's for the hearts of those who live there. If you cannot be yourself in your own home, then how can you call it home.

Whether you mention you Crossdress to anyone, or whether you don't isn't that important, as the truth of the matter is that if you are close to your family anyway, they will already read between the preverbial lines and realise there's something different about you, and maybe they cannot place exactly what it is, this in turn can lead to incorrect assumptions which in turn could actually be worse than the actual truth. Sometimes it's better to out the truth, than to let a secret remain one. If you can see what I mean!!!!

They say love is unconditional, a mothers love to a son, or a fathers love to the daughter... If your parents truelly love you, then they will love you for being honest, or they might be shocked.. the truth is that If they hear the revelation of your dressing from someone else finding out, and they get to be second in line instead of first... how do you think they will feel then. I was in that position lol, however in my case they were not overally surprised!!! needless to say.

You may be always looking for the right time, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is never a good time to tell your parents that you crossdress.. It's not when you tell them, maybe it's more how you tell them is more important. IF you feel closer to your father then tell him when you feel comfortable to tell him, if it's your mother your closer to then tell her... If she truelly loves you she'll pull through. She might get upset but thats to be expected.. as immediate assumption is that if you crossdress, then you must be gay, so if you're not gay, then you will have to convince her that she really has nothing to worry about... and you can explain about your feelings, though you still would love a wife and kids one day, she might ease up then and realise you are straight after all, and she'll still land up with possibly grand children out of you... as most mothers hope this of their offspring ok.. I was in the position of convincing my mother and she got over it quickly! she realised I was still very much her son, just unique one..lol so i dress now and spend time with my parents as I am a carer for my elderly father anyway, and i take him out days for days out, whilst I am dressed at the time... He's happy as he confessed he would love to have had a daughter, but he never could find the formula lol, little did he realise that he had a latent daughter waiting to come out of his son... so he was happy completely with me... so you can convince people, you simply have to be fully aware of your feelings, then the next step is to convince them... that's if you wish to stay at home..

Or moving out, and making your own life is the next move... totally up to you..


All the very best for your future..


Wish you well


Melissa

[Charleen]

You'ved been advised to get your own place, and if that is an option, go for it. Don't know about your parents, but my Dad flipped out when I came home from college with hair below the collar in '69. Finally had to move out for a while as he said he didn't raise a girl! He finally relented after much nagging from my Mom and let me move back in after a month. Can't even begin to imagine what his reaction would have been to me dressed! or even the thought of it! What ever you decide, I wish you the best. Love and xxxx, Lily

[racquel]

I suggest telling the one you are closest to and letting that one tell their mate.Come halloween you can show them who you are when you get dressed foe a "party".:heehee: