Bad shopping experience -- Walgreens

[Sabrinageek]

Last week, just before I got paid, I decided that I should get back into the swing of learning how to apply makeup, learning what each thing does, trying to figure out what colors I should wear, what looks good on me, getting practice into application technique, etc..

Of course, I have very little cosmetics, and what little I do have is essentially leftover from the -last- time I dressed regularly, 8 years ago, so it was fairly old, and most likely of little use. Time to go shopping! Also, I had found a good writeup on beard covering with OTC cosmetics and wanted to make a good attempt at seeing how well it works. So, off I go to Walgreens with a text printout in my hand of specific things to buy.

I chose Walgreens thinking in terms of "It's a drugstore, it'll be cheaper." So, after work Thursday, still en drab, I walk into Walgreens and start browsing their "wall-o-cosmetics." Not long after, the girl at the cosmetics counter asks if I need help. "No thank you, I'm fine." Okay, no big deal. So I'm walking around, trying to match up products to what's on my list, enjoying myself, and another girl walks by and asks if I need help. "No thank you, I'm fine."

Shortly after, I hear some sort of "Code in Cosmetics" announced over the PA. The next thing I know, there's a guy who walks up to me, as in, within inches of me, and askes very pointedly, "What are you doing?" After my brain tried to process this.. and the shocked look on my face, I replied with the first and only thing I could think of: "Shopping." The guy walks away, and mans the cosmetics counter and begins to watch me like a hawk. The girl who -had- been at the cosmetics counter walks by and says, "They get nervous if we don't try to sell you something, so here," and points at a bottle of something-or-other and walks away.

By this time, I've got a good little stash of stuff, and I'm a bit upset but not sure what to do. So I finish up making my selections and go to the cashier, another younger guy. He then proceeds to grill me on my purchases: "For your wife?" "Is it her birthday?" etc. etc. When all is said and done, I spent nearly $50 on cosmetics. However, I was also badly shaken and very upset.

In retrospect, and by my wife's opinion, when I was confronted by the guy, I should have answered, "Leaving." and dropped my $50 of goods in his lap. However, I feel like that might have been seen as some sort of admission of guilt. While I don't feel this was discriminatory in any way in a gender sense -- nothing was brought up about TG/CD etc, I do feel that I was singled out as suspicious/criminal by virtue of being a "male" in a traditionally "female" area -- despite there being many legitimate reasons beyond CD for me having been there, as evidenced by "Your wife's birthday?"

My wife believes part of it may be that cosmetics are easily pocketable and frequently stolen, and that my behavior could've been construed as suspicious. Or that maybe that the sales staff was the focus to make sure they were really trying to "sell me something." However, I'm not sure that I agree with the store using what I consider to be "harassing" tactics to try to stop possible shoplifting. Isn't that what the security cameras and the electronic scanning things on the door are for? Shouldn't I have to attempt to leave the store before they can allege any theft?

I'm a firm believer in voting with my $$$. I also think their corporate offices should be informed of this situation. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that a letter to corporate would do any good, and seeing as Walgreens is almost ubiquitous -- (my wife gets her prescriptions there, and the store this happened at is the nearest 24 hour store for emergencies) I'm not sure that if I were to indignantly say that I would never give Walgreens my business again -nor- would I ever go that specific store again, that I could actually live up to it.

Anyways, I'm sorry for the really long post.. but I've been wanting to vent about this for a while.

Sabrina

[Karren H]

Funny, I've heard simular anouncements in other stores but never had anyone approach me.....and if they did I'd ask him his name and if I could speak to the manager!! Shopping is shopping and no one has the right to tell you you can or can't buy!!!

Love Karren

[Shelly Preston]

Consider this possibility

They see you with a list and may be wondering if you are from a rival company trying to get info on their prices
On reflection you could have said when asked if they could help gave them the list ( easy with hindsight)

But hey you dont have to give them any more custom

[Sharon]

The staff is instructed to ask customers if they need help finding something -- it's good business. But (and a big "but" here) they aren't supposed to be too obvious in watching you. I don't blame them for keeping an eye on you, if they suspected you were up to no good, but they should have been discrete about it so you wouldn't even know they were there.

I managed stores for a drug chain, way back when, and shoplifting cosmetics is a huge problem, but most companies feel it's better to have a five dollar jar of polish walk out the door than to upset and lose a paying customer. Employees, especially young assistant managers, sometimes forget that it is their job, above all else, to make the customer feel welcome and comfortable.

I'm glad you proceeded to continue through with your purchase -- maybe you taught them something. By the way, I have purchased a few items at the local Walgreens with no problem at all, but,then again, I usually just pick up what I want and move on to the next section of the store.

[Joanie]

My first reaction is that Walgreens sounds like they are run by a bunch of Nazis!

As other pointed out, they may have good reason for being careful if they have been hit hard by shoplifters. But the guy could have explained that, saying something like..."I am sorry, sir, if I seem intimidating, it's just that we have had an unfortunate rash of shoplifters of late and I am told that we have to be careful." Anyway, I hardly ever go to Walgreens here and this doesn't give me an incentive to do so now.

[Jasmine Ellis]

Funny, I've heard simular anouncements in other stores but never had anyone approach me.....and if they did I'd ask him his name and if I could speak to the manager!! Shopping is shopping and no one has the right to tell you you can or can't buy!!!

Love Karren

I seconed this no one has the right to say you can't.

[Rachel Morley]

I'm not really sure what I would have done. Probabaly said something like "look...you're in the business of selling products right?....and today, I'm in the business of buying products, now do you want my money or not?!"

I would have felt ticked off and I would have natuarally come to the same conclusion you did, that they somehow thought that because you are a man you shouldn't have been in that particular part of the store.....which of course is probably not what they were thinking at all. I agree with the others it was almost certainly about stealing.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i have found they keep coming up to you and asking to help you at walgreens

they do it alot at target too

so far i havent had your type of tough time though...i am shy about shopping in male mode for sure...i bring a list usually so that gives me confidence.

[Joy Carter]

Even if it goes no where do contact the cooperate office and tell them what happened. The staff needs to be confronted with their mistake so it never happens again. It is a well known tactic to offer help to customers it does aid in cutting down theft. But it was blatant bigotry that caused the reaction to your shopping for cosmetics.:Angry3: I just ordered clothing on the phone from a large womans ware company and the SA was really enthused about helping me with my purchase and advised me on what would look good with what. I appreciated her help and felt so at ease I spent more than I planned.:o

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Sabrina

I'm also glad you went through your puchase. Hopefully, they learned that they have nothing to worry about from a man who buys cosmetics (and they might have put two and two together and realized you're a crossdresser, so again, hopefully now they know we're pretty harmless).

However, it comes to mind that they don't have to say anything about TG/CD to be discriminating against it nonetheless. Was this an incident of discrimination? I don't feel certain.

Here's what I do feel: If teen girls are the most likely candidates for cosmetics shoplifting then you certainly don't fit that description, and that would not explain their behavior. It's probably not to hard to understand that a man looking at cosmetics might be a crossdresser and that would be a simple alternative explanation for your behavior if they picked up on you feeling nervous or something. If that was the problem, though, I agree they could have simply said so.

As for the possibility they mistook you for a competitor's employee who was researching their prices... one doesn't need to fill a handbasket to do that; however, I could imagine such an individual doing that as cover. As for the list, well, lots of shoppers have lists. Another thing is that one can find Walgreens prices online quite easily (even their prescription medications) so I think it's unlikely they thought you were researching their prices.

It's clear that they were keeping an eye on you, but the only reason for that which holds any water, for me, personally, is that they were watching you because you were male. I suppose it's not impossible that they've had crossdressers steal cosmetics (which would be very sad indeed) but either way it seems to me they were giving you such "wonderful service" because you were male.

Again, I'm glad you made the purchase. It showed them that you (and crossdressers in general if they picked up on that) can handle some scrutiny, even when it's rude and not called for; it showed them that you weren't doing anything wrong, and that (hopefully they got this one) crossdressers are pretty normal customers like anyone else.

If one or more of those things did get into their heads, then I think that's worth $50.

It's still a good idea to let the company know about the incident, though. They shouldn't be doing that.

Just my two pennies.

Hugs,
Lisa

[kathy gg]

I just wanted to chime in and say that many stores act this way...even to gg's...maybe not asking why we are making a purchase.....BUT...case in point the other evening after tennis I ran into grab some vitamins and I decided to browse the cosmetics area, Shoppers Drugmart in canada and of course I rarely get to do this with any scrutiny as I always have my daughter with me.....well the make up girl comes up asks if she can help me, i tell her jsut enjoying a browse since my daughter is not with me, she then returns to the counter......also I only have my wallet with me...no purse.....and she comes up again and asks if there was something in particular that I was looking for...I finally thought...okay find I am going to waste some of your time then...since I am not getting to enjoy a browse which is so freaking rare for me to have.....I proceed to tell her I am looking for foundation and sample at least 6 different ones, getting her help and opinions and price checking...I did find one I liked but.....

I think now that maybe the lady was bored or suspicious....but just so you know...they can be really annoying....even though i do understand it is their job....and it even happens to gg's......part of giong to a store and not a speciality make up counter.....

[dazzed]

I vote for keeping my money ,shopping where they are polite.

[Lisa Marie]

I think I would have said. Why dont you mind your own business dont worry about who im buying for. Simply stated:happy:

[vbcdgrl]

I buy all of my cosmetics from Walgreen's....on line. I settled on my personal makeup scheme by trial and error using "borrowed" stuff. My X was a MK rep for a while......another story. Anyway, since I know pretty much what I'm gonna buy, on line buying is easy. Never had any problem and their delivery is very prompt. Since the order is handled electronically, there's no explaining to do. I'm sure, if a human was to review my order, he/she would be suspicious. 5 sets of glue on nails?, 6 eyeliner pencils?, 3 bottles of makeup remover?
I suggest going to their site and view the cosmetics pages. There's color swatches and all that. Pretty easy.


Vikki

[ChristineRenee]

I'd have asked to speak to a manager. Your money is as good as everyone else's. Being a male in a traditionally female area is beside the point. You could have been shopping for your wife or SO. They shouldn't be assuming the worst in any event. Sorry to hear that you had to go through this type of 3rd degree just to purchase items for yourself from their store.:(

[Jodie_Lynn]

hmmmmm, there is a Walgreens here in town. I think tomorrow, I'm going shopping. There is a broad line between "security" and harassment.

[Teresa Amina]

I suggest going to their site and view the cosmetics pages. There's color swatches and all that. Pretty easy.

I agree here, but if I'd heard your story earlier I might have found a different on-line store. Their stuff did come in quickly, and the ability to take tons of relaxed browsing time online was nice.

[Adrienne Heels]

I would have walked out and not given them any future business.

At least at a makeup counter in a department store, the SAs treat you nicely.

[Caitlin_CD]

I had that happen to me once too at a Walgreens. I wasn't in drag but this older lady was thinking I was shoplifting when I wasn't. She does something on the PA and they are checking the bathroom which is available for the public too, at this one anyways. I was busy looking at the pantyhose when this happened, also near the cosmetics, just like you were.

I wouldn't give them business anymore if it upsets you really bad but its your call.

[Jodi]

SAbrina, I'd like to give my two cents as one who worked retail. From a story, none of us know what body language you were giving off. You shooed the clerks away two times. None of us know what tone of voice you used when you refused their help. You just might have given off all the vibes of a possible shoplifter. Your mistake was refusing the help of an SA two times. The SA's were doing their job. When you refused help the second time, you might have used a wrong tone of voice or given off the wrong vibes from being nervous. That set the bells ringing. SA's are trained to watch people that might look suspicious. If you think someone is suspicious, you are to approach them and ask them if they need more help. If you put the run on them, you are in trouble. You will be watched like a hawk.

I hate to sound crass, but the problem is not Walgreen's, but yours. When you were approached the first time, had you smiled warmly, and told them you were shopping for you, and that you needed help picking out the right stuff, I'm sure the girl would have bent over backwards for you.

How many times must we say on this board--STORES DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE BUYING!!! What they care about is what someone is trying to steal. If you act nervous, and respond with a wrong tone of voice, you will be watched by all in the store.

Take heed. When shopping, be friendly, smile, be honest, and let the SA's do their job for you.

Spent my time on the floor of New York & co and The Limited. We could spot the signs of a possible shoplifter and we never let them out of our sight.

Jodi

[lahr]

Ive bought female shoes and even nylons in department stores. Oh Sure. There were a few raised eyebrows or the funny smiles but I never had anything happen like your visit to Walgreens. Sheeesh. In the local Walgreens I have to wait for a cashier most of the time.

[Jodie_Lynn]

SAbrina, I'd like to give my two cents as one who worked retail. From a story, none of us know what body language you were giving off. You shooed the clerks away two times. None of us know what tone of voice you used when you refused their help. You just might have given off all the vibes of a possible shoplifter. Your mistake was refusing the help of an SA two times. The SA's were doing their job. When you refused help the second time, you might have used a wrong tone of voice or given off the wrong vibes from being nervous. That set the bells ringing. SA's are trained to watch people that might look suspicious. If you think someone is suspicious, you are to approach them and ask them if they need more help. If you put the run on them, you are in trouble. You will be watched like a hawk.

I hate to sound crass, but the problem is not Walgreen's, but yours. When you were approached the first time, had you smiled warmly, and told them you were shopping for you, and that you needed help picking out the right stuff, I'm sure the girl would have bent over backwards for you.

How many times must we say on this board--STORES DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE BUYING!!! What they care about is what someone is trying to steal. If you act nervous, and respond with a wrong tone of voice, you will be watched by all in the store.
Take heed. When shopping, be friendly, smile, be honest, and let the SA's do their job for you.

Spent my time on the floor of New York & co and The Limited. We could spot the signs of a possible shoplifter and we never let them out of our sight.

Jodi



Gee, so the next time I'm shopping, I'm required to tell the clerk who I'm shopping for and what I want to buy? And I better watch my body language, and don't even think about being nervous. Or maybe depressed, or preoccupied, or emotionally distraught.....

What if, our heroine HAD been shopping for her S/O, after having a terrible fight, and was just looking for a peace offering? Should she be required to tell that to the clerk as well?



There are ways to surveil someone WITHOUT getting up in their face about it, and until a store posts a sign that states: ALL CUSTOMERS MUST ACCEPT ASSISTANCE FROM A SALES CLERK, I will side with the customer on this one.

Having worked retail myself, along with in store security AND Law Enforcement, I can appreciate the stores need to secure their merchandise, but cannot condone thug tactics to do so.

In the stores I worked, surveillance was to be lowkey and unobtrusive where possible. Else the store guard might just walk up to someone and announce loudly "Hey Shoplifter! Put that back!" Imagine not only the loss of business, but the lawsuit that could be brought for public slander, embarrasment, emotional trauma, etc, etc.



Spent my time on the floor of New York & co and The Limited. We could spot the signs of a possible shoplifter and we never let them out of our sight. And how many times were your suspicions confirmed? 1%? 10%? 50%?

[Helen MC]

Maybe things are different over here in the UK. We are more insular and do not as a whole like touchy-feely over involved Shop Assistants. Our self-service stores are mostly just that, you pick your goods from the shelf, hanger, display etc, put them in your basket or trolley and take them to the check-out and a disinterested till operator rings them through without comment. We do have Security of course, both overt- butch looking guys and even similar women in quasi Police Uniforms- and covert, the phoney shopper who blends in with the rest of the customers but is on the lookout for shoplifters. I would add that I have no time for shoplifters , who are simply thieves!

In the circumstances detailed by Sabrina I would have put the basket down, and quietly walked out never to return. Hit them where it hurts, in the till.

I don't use makeup, not my scene and I don't go outdooors en-femme. I have however bought makeup as a present for female friends and have never had any problems.

Perhaps some of the problem, apart from any anti CD bigotry ingrained in shop staff, is that many CDs, even if in male clothing at the time, are nervous and self- conscous when shopping for female items and their body language gives off a bad vibe which is picked up by the staff. I have found when buying panties and other female clothing at a store, and I personally prefer to shop over the Internet and in the past I used Mail Order catalogs, it is useful to know what you want in advance, the style, size etc. Have a cover story if asked, "For the wife, g/f, sister, mother" it's what they expect and want to hear, it reassures the poor litlle dears. DON'T fondle the merchandise! Such behaviour screams "pervert!" and is likely to attract the attention of Security and get you ejected from the store. Wait till you get home to intimately examine that pair of panties or bra or slip etc. Don't stand too near to women buying goods especially lingerie/underwear for the same reasons. It disturbs them and they may call Security.

There is a thin line between staff in a store actually assisting the Customer and their interfering and intimidating them. Here in Britain we seem to like a greater distance between shopper and assistant and generally we like them to remain quietly in the background and only come over when asked by the shopper. WE not THEY make the first move. Some American owned retail organisations have had to modify their approach when they found that the more "in your face" attitude which was acceptable in the USA met with consumer resistance and a fall in sales here in the UK. As an aside it is the same in the workplace. UK workers like to keep their work and home life separate and do not generally like the "one big happy family" ideas of some American employers and will shun such events as Works Picnics, BBQs etc, especially if they are expected to attend in their own leisure time! We also prefer the older vertical Hierarchical structure where a Manager or Supervisor is a "Boss" and not a "Colleague" and there are clearly defined lines of demarcation.

[Scotty]

I like your wifes idea, that's how I am - businesses tend to forget that you and I are customers - we are right - or we don't shop there, period!

It's their responsibility to ensure nobody is stealing anything but once tha'ts covered - and you weren't - they may find it weird or funny but YOU are still the customer purchasing thigns.

Wal-mart and other stores are getting to be like Ft Knox, try to find good help, t ry to find something out of season - all they want is yoru money and don't question them.

Screw that, I am sooooooo old fashioned and will leave in a heartbeat at bad service....and I'll let it be known why I'm leaving.

[Sabrinageek]

SAbrina, I'd like to give my two cents as one who worked retail. From a story, none of us know what body language you were giving off. You shooed the clerks away two times. None of us know what tone of voice you used when you refused their help.

Okay, clarification. I apologize for that. While doing all of this, I was friendly and polite to the SA's. Again, I have absolutely no problem with the SA's that approached me. All of them were friendly and polite. Also, I have shopped for myself before en drab, I am used to it, and was not nervous about it. If anything, I had on the "absent-minded" look of someone trying to find something -- again, the SA's did their job in trying to help. However, I prefer to browse and find things on my own. However, when not dressed, I do understand that I can present a certain look -- I'm a short and stocky person.. 5'8" and over 200lbs.. (not gonna tell ya how far over.. ;) But however, I tried to make my manner as pleasant and friendly as possible, including chuckling at the second SA's comments about "We have to try to sell you something.. here!"

As to the rest of your comments, while I understand the retail point of view, watching me is one thing. Pointedly and rudely demanding to know what I'm doing is another. If nothing else, had I truly been a shoplifter, wouldn't that tip me off? Wouldn't it allow me to get rid of anything I might have and leave? The fact that I continued shopping after that, and that my behavior did not change from before or after should've been a tipoff that I had no intention of running off. As someone earlier said, even if I was suspicious in some way, shouldn't they have been more discreet in their manner?


In the stores I worked, surveillance was to be lowkey and unobtrusive where possible. Else the store guard might just walk up to someone and announce loudly "Hey Shoplifter! Put that back!" Imagine not only the loss of business, but the lawsuit that could be brought for public slander, embarrasment, emotional trauma, etc, etc.

Oh wait, Jodie-Lynn's post probably sums it up better than I ever could.


Maybe things are different over here in the UK. We are more insular and do not as a whole like touchy-feely over involved Shop Assistants

Exactly. I also prefer to have a bit of space when I'm shopping. If I need assistance, I have no problems seeking it out. I get just as frustrated at Best Buy when 5 different guys all ask if I need help finding a certain DVD. Of course, they all work on commission.. but I suspect that Women's SA's are probably even more insistent on "helping." Unfortunately, I suspect that being seen as "stand-offish" and refusing help could be seen as suspicious. I cannot change how I'm perceived, insofar as how others see me, other than of course, mannerisms, mood, etc. I accept that I have no control if people perceive me as suspicious, criminal, and so on. Mistakes do happen, and frankly, I'd rather they catch a real shoplifter and inconvenience me than the other way around. However, my question is "What is correct/proper/ethical behavior in that sort of situation?"

Sabrina

[Kimberly]

Sounds rubbish!! Better not shop there again. :(

[Kate Simmons]

I'd have met them "head on" and challenged why they called for a "code" in cosmetics. I'd demand to know why so many people were so interested in me being there. Then again Ericka (or Richard) is no pushover and I don't get intimidated easily. I usually try to turn the tables on the other guy. I figure my money is just as green as the next guy (or girl) and I owe an explanation to no one. The guy who asked you about your wife may have been nervous and just trying to start a conversation. Just ignore the idiots and shopping will be okay. Ericka

[Atlanta Peach GG]

In this age of "self check-outs" I vote for some place like Walmart........they are too busy to be breathing down your neck asking if they can "help you".........

I think Walmart may be cheaper too with their cosmetics. After you select what you want go up to their "self check out"..........

Sabrina, that is a terrible experience, and I am afraid I would have left my basket of/arm load of make up at the counter and say that you will be taking your business elsewhere. That's just terrible on what happened and I am sorry you had to go though it. :sad:

[Sabrinageek]

In this age of "self check-outs" I vote for some place like Walmart........they are too busy to be breathing down your neck asking if they can "help you".........

I think Walmart may be cheaper too with their cosmetics. After you select what you want go up to their "self check out"..........


Ironically, that's pretty much what my wife more or less told me when I first told her the story.. "Why'd you go to Walgreens? Wal-Mart's cheaper!" and of course, I've -never- been approached by anyone at Wal-Mart trying to help me. So maybe that is the answer. I do know that my second makeup purchase (mascara, a couple eyeliner pencils, etc.) ended up being from Wal-Mart.. and it was a much easier and happier experience for me.

Sabrina

[julie w]

you have to admit it is unusual for a guy to buy a lot of make up without
a list or help .If you want to browse try walmart if I buy from shoppers etc
drab I usually know what I want and will let the sales girl get it for me if she wants