trying to have a life and being a cd

[jennig]

HI girls being a cd has maney bennifits as we all know. But sometimes this passion we all have gets in the way of life for example Iam single and trying to date gg,s has not been easy it seems as soon as you tell your little secert theay run the outher way. now i know many of you are married and in some cases you spouse go,s along with it but in most cases it causes problems.
my first wife left me when I let it out to her she wanted nothing to do with it and comdemed me as some sicko. I have dated some since then with no luck. So my question is how dose a single cd meet someone that at least has a open mind of us or should i just give up or dont say anything and go back in the closet and keep it a secert?. only to sneek around as we all know we will.
love
jennig:confused:

[Kimberley]

Jenni,

Don't give up. It will take time but eventually you will find someone who can see you and not your gender "issues" (for lack of a better word).

Some of the personals actually allow for TG people to specify they are TG so that way the lady knows in advance and is probably seeking someone from our community. It does happen. More than a couple of our own GG members fall into that category.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Karren H]

I thought crossdressing was just another facet of our lives......an enhancement, or an additional feature so to speak, of what others call normal male lives....

Kind of proves the saying that "If it aint broke, you don't have enough features" hehehehe


Love Karren

[avawho]

Like you I always found 99% of all women would turn tail and head for the hills as soon as I opened up and let slip the "secret"... to have a SO who is totally 100% accepting are very rare (sure wish I had one) but this forum does show they do really exist... Keep the faith, be true to yourself and DON"T give up...:love:

Cheers
Ava

[Cristi]

:2c:

Consider WHERE you are looking for a gf. If you are looking in places that attract the 'prom queens', socialites, or any populatoin that is generally more conservative you are probably risking more rejection. If you are looking in areas that tend to attract more openminded people, I'd say your odds of finding somebody that isn't phased by your interests are much better.

This is just an example of how you could look at it, so I hope I don't offend, but:

Don't: church groups, country music bars, redneck bars, er... bars :)

Do: Theater groups, sci-fi clubs, book stores.

You get the idea...

[Dana Carlton]

Believe it or not, I actually met my wife at a TG/CD friendly nightclub. So she met Dana before she met my male side. I was there with a couple of "girls". Just a night out. Wasn't even looking for a gg. I'm not saying to go to a TG/CD nightclub to find a women who is accepting. Just let things happen and you just might be surprised where you will find someone.

[danielle swenson]

All of the above great posts, To add my 2 cents....
Be true to yourself and dont lie! otherwise every relationships you seek will be based on lies. If the person can't accept you for who you are than that person is not the one you should be with.

[Han]

Alternative night clubs, be it TG friendly or Goth/Rock etc... Finding a girl that is open minded about everything in life. Somebody who themselves likes to dress up, not necessarily in a CD way, maybe in a kinky way ;) Somebody that has experienced a little more from life than most as well.

I don't like making tick lists though.

My real advice is to trust your womens intuition. Their attitude towards life and the body language they emit will let you know unconsciously.

[Lisa Golightly]

There are some really wonderful women out there who really love cd's... I've met some real angels in my time... *goes all glassy eyed*... *cough*...true, true, true... but if they don't know you or get to see you then they'll never know you're there.

Actually, I've had more offers from girls dressed as a girl than I ever did as a boy...

[JenniferMint]

Actually, I've had more offers from girls dressed as a girl than I ever did as a boy...

That reminds me: I have only ever groped another girl while dressed as a girl myself. My current female friends in real life (who initially knew me from the internet) see me dressed as a girl more than as a guy.

I feel more confident as a girl when it comes to personal relationships, and I think in general, M2F CD/TS who like girls may unconsciously project more confidence while dressed, and thus make it easier to attract girls despite there being more straight girls than lesbians.

[Melissa A.]

Well, meeting a woman any traditional way, dating for a bit, then letting her know you are a cd, and hoping she's cool with it, well...it IS honest, and couragous... and ya just might get lucky, but the odds just aren't with ya there, I must say. As hetero crossdressers, we have to face the fact that the pool of available women is shallower for us. That is just a mathematical fact. At least when you meet someone online, in some kind of alternative venue, you can be up front and get stuff like "I'm a crossdresser" out of the way. There are also alternative periodicals in most cities where you can be honest and up front about this. I know any kind of "blind" dating has it's many pitfalls, but I do know one thing: women who are anywhere from somewhat ok to enthusiastic about cding ARE out there. You may have to work harder, and travel, but ya simply can't expect one ta fall in your lap off of a barstool. Like others here have said, keep trying. Perseverence will pay off, eventually.

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[Jasmine Ellis]

one day it will come. give it time, they are out there, all you got to do is be in the right place at the right time. then its bobs your uncle, fannys your aunt

[jennig]

Thanks for the respones It is so good to know we are all in this together and can bounce things off of each outher your thoughts are a welocme addition to my life.
hugs jennig

[sandra-leigh]

Actually, I've had more offers from girls dressed as a girl than I ever did as a boy...

I haven't had any offers, but I do get more conversations! As if it is somehow safer to talk to a cross-dresser.

[Bev06 GG]

:2c:

This is just an example of how you could look at it, so I hope I don't offend, but:

Don't: church groups, country music bars, redneck bars, er... bars :)

Do: Theater groups, sci-fi clubs, book stores.

You get the idea...
Awww Cristi, Im from a church group and hey proper Christians are more accepting than most of minority groups. Im not talking religious people, Im talking people who really know God. Religion gets in the way of most things, true believers see the person inside.
Anyway in answer to the original question, I guess perseverance is the thing. I wouldn't advocate anyone going into the closet even tho that might seem the easiest thing to do on a short term basis. Long term you need someone whom you can share the real you with.
Wishing you luck
BEVxxxxxx

[Kerry Owens]

Don't limit the scope of where you can meet....there are accepting church groups, and coffee houses, libraries, clubs for people with common intrests(like mineralogy) and even the internet.
The single biggest thing is be yourself and be honest! Honesty first and everything will work out.

[julie w]

its a tough one, I told my gf about a 6months after going out with her only
after she keep pushing me ,( she thought I had a secret ) to tell her what it was we are still going out 5years now she is always teasing me about dressing up
but wont see me dressed ,

[Lawren]

Kerry and I met in a chatroom that had nothing to do with dating. As we got to know each other things fell into place. So, when I invited her to come live with me I opened up "the secret packaqe" I told her on the phone before things got too far along to stop. I wanted to give her the chance to back out and she chose not to even though she did not fully undersatnd it.
Meeting the right woman is hit or miss even without the CD issue involved. It will probably take some time but she IS out there. As time goes on and CDing gets more out in the open and society starts to accept it, it will become easier.
Hang in there and you'll find her.