big mouth biggot at the thrift

[megan163]

I was in a thrift store today in drab and was browsing and looking at bras. Anyway, all of a sudden I hear this woman say in a loud voice, "Lookng at bras...I'm sure!" I was in total shock. I just replied "and what do you care, mind your own business." I still shied away but felt really violated that some stranger would think it her place to comment on my shopping. I mean I made no comment about her own "crack-addict fashion-sense." I was really pissed. I can't believe that such small-minded biggots are out there and think they have the right to infringe on my rights. I just thought next time I'll be ready with a snappy comeback.

[uknowhoo]

:hugs: That really is a shame, Megan. I'm sorry you had to suffer an experience like that. While it is unsettling, just remember she's the one with the problem. I would say "screw her!," but she's hardly worth the effort. Take care, and better luck next time. Hugs, Tammi

[Amber_8281]

People these day. They can't mide they own manners. And leave people alone unless you want there opinion. That would piss me off to.

[ReginaW]

When I go shopping I usually go to a store where no one I know shops. Or I'll go real early in the morning when the store isn't crowded.

[angelfire]

Honestly, why do these people care? She was probably pissed cause you were gunna take the bra she wanted.

But honestly, what you buy is your business, and they have no right to tell you otherwise.

[megan163]

When I go shopping I usually go to a store where no one I know shops. Or I'll go real early in the morning when the store isn't crowded.

Good tips, I guess that's why I kind of shrunk from the confrontation. I was in a store I go to fairly often and didn't want to make a scene. Fortunately, the lingerie is kept in the back of the store and wasn't many customers nearby as it was near closing. Still, I was really shaken and upset by it.

[ReginaW]

Good tips, I guess that's why I kind of shrunk from the confrontation. I was in a store I go to fairly often and didn't want to make a scene. Fortunately, the lingerie is kept in the back of the store and wasn't many customers nearby as it was near closing. Still, I was really shaken and upset by it.
I probably would have done the same thing.

[Charleen]

Unfortunately the unwashed are out there, and think they are in charge, and have a right to do what that woman did to you. As Mr. Rogers would have put it- "Can you say idiot? I knew you could!" I think you actually did the best thing by backing off. When someone has no brain, you can't win. Love and xxxx, Lily

[crossing_over]

next time just say something like "yeah they're so cute i just couldnt resist... how do you think this one looks?" that would catch her off guard so much that she would probably be speechless

[Helen MC]

I assume she was "White Trash" (Trailer Trash). That being the case you could have said "I am shopping here because I choose to, you are shopping here because you have to" Cruel, nasty, but you would have been hitting her back with her own weapon, bigotry. In a confrontation situation, I try to use my enemy's weapon back on them.

[CindyFinalyFree]

you could have said "I am shopping here because I choose to, you are shopping here because you have to"

I now admire you that much more, Helen. I'm going to have to keep that one for my first 'negative' encounter', if it ever fits.

On another note: Personally, I don't shop thrift. From what I've gathered here, and in my own experiences, you're less likely to have someone start a 'scene' (employee or shopper) in a mid to upscale department store; Wal-mart to Jones.... It just seems people are more considerate, over all, or at least less concerned about others around them. You would think that being in a Thrift store, much as Helen subtly pointed out, the average shopper would be 'more' likely to notice you, as there's at least some level of self-conciosness about shopping there to begin with, and more awareness (suspicion?) of others around you. Besides.. are the chances you'll run accross someone who might recognize you any better or worse at thrift? I doubt it.

[Lisa Golightly]

She was sure of what? That you were looking at bras? Well then she was quite correct. I really don't pay attention to the moaning of the masses; I always feel they have enough to feel miserable about without being confronted by my laser edged wit. Think I'd have just tossed my eyes and carried on.

[Kate Simmons]

Shock value on her part, Megan. Some people get "off" by doing that. I'd have turned it around and said: "Why, yes, I'm trying to surprise my wife. Know anything about these things? What's the prettiest?" She probably got more out of what you said than she would have with something like that. Ericka

[Jasmine Ellis]

:hugs: That really is a shame, Megan. I'm sorry you had to suffer an experience like that. While it is unsettling, just remember she's the one with the problem. I would say "screw her!," but she's hardly worth the effort. Take care, and better luck next time. Hugs, Tammi

Tammi thats not lady like saying "screw her" but I do like it SO, dose that mine we can use this word also :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

[Karren H]

WOW Never had that happen and I shop in drab a lot, usually at noon when its full of women. Yeah some stare but most could care less that a guy in a business suit is shopping for dresses...

Don't know if a snappy comeback would work on someone like that, would probably go right over their head. Lol.

But you could say something like....


"Yeah bras are the greatest...you should try one someday"....or


"Well my sister just died and I'm shopping for my crippled mother who has no one else in the world to look after her...would you like the job??"


Love Karren

[julie w]

just think of where you are shopping ,it tends to attract not the most classy
of women , the best thing to say is something to degrade her politely
I had a begger ask me for cash and when I didnt give him any he said I know you are
not a real women . yes and I have lots of money and you are a begger!
If he had given me a complement I may have given him something .
so dont let people like that bother you ,

[nishababe]

What a nasty bigoted woman !!

I would say to her

'' I am buying my wife a surprise present and i dont really think that it is any of your business as to how I spend my own money in this shop .

If you have an issue we shall go and see the manager of this store about what I can and cant buy here ''

I said something similar to a woman in a shop making comments to me and she was gone in a flash ,with a bright red face .

Shops do not like people making comments to other shoppers that will prevent a sale ,they are there to make money ,not judgements .

Love Nishababe

[EricaCD]

Just tell her that her boyfriend (husband if she is wearing a ring) was too shy to go bra shopping on his own, and you were helping him out.

[pinkshelly]

Loved Kerren's come back. I think I would have gone and had a little talk with the manager. If I was here manager I would have let her go if i could or a really big write up.
Still like Karren's come back the best.
Huggs, Shelly.

[lahr]

I know how you feel. I had a similar problem while trying to buy P hose at a walgreens. That stupid cashier humiliated me in front of other customers. I wanted to say something but I was too stunned I walked out and Walgreens has seen the last of my panty hose lingeree wearing butt!.......Lahr.

[myMichelle]

Wow...a lot of fantastic advice here. (Special thanks to Karren for her usual interjection of humor!) There is still one thing left--and I think it's very important:

No matter what happens, never let it stop your shopping trips...what was it the cowboys used to say about getting thrown off a horse? You've gotta get right back in the saddle again!

[sparks]

YEs you are right it was nasty thing for the wench to say. On the other hand some women feel they rightly have ownership on the lingerie thing. Kinda of you really don't belong here and feel they feel violated or threatened.
As I ear all to often here "It's only clothes" I still sometime don't get why there is such a gender driven concern over clothes. A person has the right to feel confortable in whatever they want to wear.
Now if you heaping up the sexy ones and leaving the plain white granny bras than shame on ya. Share!

[DebbieThomas]

trouble witch! I shop alot in male mode, only afew times I have had someone say anything to me. all three times happen at my local GW, first time a lady says loud enough for half the store to hear "you know this is the ladies department" me "really I hadnt noticed" smiled went back to shopping. pretty sure I seen smoke coming out of her ears :Angry3: one other time two ladies kind of followed me around the store watching me. they were close enough I could hear one say "I cant believe a guy is buying womens clothes" other one told her to stop and drop it. but the other one couldnt she ended up going to the manager, not sure what was said but by the look on her face it wasnt what she wanted to hear :heehee: sad some ppl think the world revolves around them. after I had paid for what I had gotten the manager came to me an asked "I hope there wasnt a problem" me "not on my end" him "ok you have a nice day and please come back" they know me there and wouldnt want to lose my business. I always seem to spend more than I had planned to :jumping:

[Carlacd]

Tammi and Jasmine, i would of told her to to F*** off, and also showed her that she was number one in my eyes.:eek:

Sorry you had such a bad time Megan.:sad:

[Shiny]

Yeah, I have had some pretty bad comments from women over the years. Like children in the schoolyard they can be exceedingly cruel! Too bad you can't punch 'em out! Notice how they always hide behind their gender when they insult men.

I wonder what would happen if a 220 lb. cross dresser punched out a snippy broad?? Would that constitute a cat-fight?? But you know what I mean!

[Myst]

Its people like this woman that make me so nervous about going out shopping in the first place...

I've been to several stores recently to look for bras, well, just because I really want one, but always leave empty-handed, or with something that I didn't even want in the first palce, like another pair of jeans... guy jeans, that is..

I applaud your reaction, Megan... at least you stood up to her. :thumbsup: I know I would have run out of there in a second and fretted for days afterwards!

[Dragster]

Another suggestion...Look her in the eye and say "Yes I am, but I can't seem to find one in my size. Could you help me find a 42DD in sexy black on this rack please?" Than wait for the reaction!

Tony

[Wendi]

I would never say anything to a person like that. Sounds she would have loved to cause a bigger scene because she is probably a low life and that's what they like to do because they have no class or manners. Next time I'd just "wink" and move on. ;

[Sarah Rabbit]

I do not know if it is in the same vein or not, but my experince was judt as annoying..I was in a video shop with my S.O. looking at the Ex-Rentals for sale. This woman came up to us and said "That is a good girlie movie" referring to a movie my S.O. had picked up. I replied "I have a few good girly movies already" (Like 'The Goodbye Girl' 'Pretty Woman' 'While you were Sleeping' etc.etc) The woman replied with a sarcastic tone "I bet you have a few girly movies" , I am sure she was reffering to 'Porn'. Does she assume every male on the planet has a collection of porn. The more I thought about it, the more I became annoyed:mad:

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Melissa A.]

Any answer works here, whether it's "mind your own &*%(#$@ business", or something funny that puts someone like that in their place. The important thing is to not be shy about responding quickly and decisively.

If you let dumb asses know they can't hurt or embarrass you, it ruins all their fun.

If that fails, act psychotic and scare the &^%* out of 'em.:D

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[Sky]

Good tips, I guess that's why I kind of shrunk from the confrontation. I was in a store I go to fairly often and didn't want to make a scene. Fortunately, the lingerie is kept in the back of the store and wasn't many customers nearby as it was near closing. Still, I was really shaken and upset by it.

Sorry but I can't agree on "shopping when the store is empty" as a good tip. That would imply that you agree what you were doing was wrong and deserved some sort of punishment. It didn't. I have shopped in drab and in drag, and yes, every now and then you hear or see something negative. Ignore them and go on shopping. Or, if you are in confrontational mood (sometimes I am) talk back and, if possible, be even more brazen and open about what you're doing. Grab the darn bra and ask the bigot "what do you think, am I a 34 D?" But whatever you do, please don't shy away again. Don't make they feel they were right, because they weren't.

[Melissa A.]

Sorry but I can't agree on "shopping when the store is empty" as a good tip. That would imply that you agree what you were doing was wrong and deserved some sort of punishment. It didn't. I have shopped in drab and in drag, and yes, every now and then you hear or see something negative. Ignore them and go on shopping. Or, if you are in confrontational mood (sometimes I am) talk back and, if possible, be even more brazen and open about what you're doing. Grab the darn bra and ask the bigot "what do you think, am I a 34 D?" But whatever you do, please don't shy away again. Don't make they feel they were right, because they weren't.

Couldn't agree more. I understand the fear completely, as I used to be that way. We all are at some time. It's not a race, but keep shopping and ya WILL lose being afraid, and feel entitled, as a consumer, to buy whatever the hell ya want to buy. Who the heck are they, anyway? And why should ya care about what they think?

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[FROCKYHORROR]

What do these people think they gain by acting like that? Its none of their ffing business,"yes you're right miss i am looking at the Bras, well done,very clever,God you're so perceptive how'd you do it, its amazing, well i hold my hands up, you've found me out,now F**k off and leave me alone", oooo i wish i was there.

[gennee]

WOW Never had that happen and I shop in drab a lot, usually at noon when its full of women. Yeah some stare but most could care less that a guy in a business suit is shopping for dresses...

Don't know if a snappy comeback would work on someone like that, would probably go right over their head. Lol.

But you could say something like....


"Yeah bras are the greatest...you should try one someday"....or


"Well my sister just died and I'm shopping for my crippled mother who has no one else in the world to look after her...would you like the job??"


Love Karren


Never happened to me either, Karen. Wouldn't care what they thought. It's none of their business. I viewed some of your albums. You look stunning and you coordinate everything so well. You look great as a brunette.

Gennee

:love: :doll:

[Zelda Noe]

Megan:

It always comes as a shocker, whenever people are rude in public, whether or not you are in drab or infemme. I might have responded with anger, maybe? not sure, depends on how humiliated I felt at the time. Thankfully the only two times I have ever been in public infemme, I did not have anyone make rude comments, at least any I could hear.

Try this idea...take a couple of your very best "infemme" photos with you...either wallet or pocket size shots. Trim the photos down to size and put them in a sports card small plastic sleeve for protection. Like you would put a baseball card in.

Then when anyone gives you looks or speaks anything...simply take out your photo and promote yourself...ask them "what do you think?"...blow them away as they try to figure it all out. Based on their immediate response, either walk away or continue the conversation.

Just a thought...

Dandy

[Jodi]

I learned years ago that "you are only humiliated if you allow yourself to be". Remember, it takes balls to be a crossdresser.

Jodi

[Helen MC]

I used to buy at a Charity Shop, as we call a Thrift Shop over here. I didn't have such a nasty experience, far from it. To begin with I was very careful not to stand out and used the line "for my girlfriend" when I bought anything. The manageress however sussed me but in a very helpful and kind way. One day I was in the shop alone and had found a nice brown pleated skirt in my size. I brought it to the counter and she smiled and said "You can try it on in the cubicle there if you like" , and she told me that she had quite a few TV customers and she was sympathetic. From then on until the shop closed when the area was demolished and re-developed into a Shopping Mall a few years later I had many happy purchases . The manageress would look out items she thought would suit me . I was very sorry when she retried when the shop closed .