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View Full Version : Out to my Mother... WOW!



CindyFinalyFree
08-21-2006, 03:27 AM
I used to be one of those girls that came to these forums to 'live out' my desires through other's actions. As time passed (amazingly, it hasn't been all that long), I have become more comfortable with who I am, and that I'm neither a freak, nor alone. In the last month, I have come out (again... long story, read my intro post) to my gf. She has never been supportive, and that hadn't changed as I hoped it would have, after 5 years of keeping Cindy in the closet.

Well, I couldn't take it any longer. The need to 'be' me never lessons. Over time, I have managed to suppress it, but never left it behind. I don't think there's been more than a month that passed since I was 14 that I haven't dressed up at least to 'some' degree... whether it be as little as shaving my legs or wearing panty hose for a day, or dressing up in full femme, like I am at this moment. At any rate, how I am now, dressed, glancing in the mirror brings me a sense of calm, but not really a sense of completeness. I mean, I haven't had enough coaching in the make-up/clothing style department to feel confident that, if I 'tried', I could pass.

This lead me to consider who else I could turn to, since my girlfriend of 15 years will apparently not support (and most likely won't tolerate for long.... I'm prepared for her departure, if it comes to that). Without getting into too much detail, I went to my mother's house yesterday, but neglected to buff out the shine on my naturally polished nails. I decided to use this as a lead-in, and asked her what she thought of them. She said 'they're nice... did you have them done?' I said I did them myself, and then asked if they looked too femme. She said 'no', that that's how guys nails are 'supposed' to look when well groomed. --- 'Now was the moment of no turning back...' I thought to myself. I then asked, "What would you say if I said I 'wanted' them to look more feminine?" Her response came with less hesitation than I expected... "I would say it wouldn't bother me. I have several children and grandchildren, and it wouldn't bother me if one of them was gay or whatever". (I quickly interjected..) "I'm not gay, but I do like to crossdress and express my femininity from time to time". --- Now I've done it, and there's no mistaking my admission ---

We didn't really talk much more on the topic. All I could say was "That's the most supportive response I could have asked for. Thank you sooo much". Later that day, I called her and talked a bit more about "what I mentioned in the car". I told her that I wanted to find out just how 'passable' I could make myself with what ever preparation was required, and asked if she would be willing to help. To bring this story to a close, I'll just say that come my next payday, we're going shopping together!!!!!

CindyFinalyFree
08-21-2006, 03:46 AM
I just realized that the above doesn't actually indicate the nature of my situation... Coming out with crossdressing is just the beginning. During our 'shopping' trip, I plan to attempt discussion of 'why' I feel the need to crossdress, and my underlying desires to be, or at least live the role of to some extent, a woman.

So I guess I haven't 'totally' come out with her. But from her response, I have no reservations of doing so. I just wanted to test the waters so to speak.... :heehee:

Kaitlynn
08-21-2006, 03:58 AM
I learned that family members reponses never seem to be what you expected.

In my case my Father is an ex-Relate Counsellor (previously called The Marriage Guidance Council - a charitable counselling service, that now deals with all types of relationship and personal issues here in the UK), and my Mother was well known to be small minded, racist, bigoted and not the sort to talk about 'sex'.

Therefore I expected my Father to be open minded and cool about things, and I expected my Mother to throw me out of the house.

As it is, the opposite has been true. Dad is really struggling with coming to terms with my TGism, but is trying, whereas with every passing day my Mum treats me more and more like another daughter, helps me shop, has given me make-up, cuddly toys, etc etc.

It sounds like you Mum may turn out to be similar to mine, I hope that she does and that your relationship with your Mum is close as mine has become to my Mum.

Priscilla1018
08-21-2006, 06:50 AM
Congratulations Cindy.Coming out is a big step.I still have'nt come out to my Mother but the time is comming.None of my family has seen me since I shaved off my beard and made the decision to live full time as a woman two months ago.My Dad would never have understood,he died last Summer.My Mom has always been verbaly abusive and is 89;because of her being alone now I am trying to repair our relationship and am working hard at forgiving her.Time will tell,I hope she accepts as your Mom has.:rose2:

Jeannie9
08-26-2006, 11:03 PM
I'm just wondering about the statement: Girlfriend of 15 years...

I wish you the very best in whatever you chose and wherever life takes you.