Thinking about it...

[Gooeymac]

I'm a 36 y/o admirer and i have never crossdressed in my life.
However, i must admit that the urge to dress has been getting stronger for the last year and i am now having problems controlling it. I think deep down that is why i'm here on this site, although i've never admitted it. Having read many of the threads on this site i feel inspired to experiment. I am considering experimenting with a pair of heels and underwear only at the moment.
My over-riding worry is that i will like it too much and have trouble controlling myself in the future. Surely, if i never start then i should be able to keep myself in check. True or not? Any advice or thoughts Gurls ?

Mac

[Lisa Golightly]

Oh, just do it... It's really isn't a big deal you know... So is your 'admiration' a transfer thing do you think? Do you aspire to be one of us secretly? Hmmmm?

Go have fun, and leave Mr Angst outside in the cold :)

[noname]

I really don't know what to tell you as it's probably different for everyone. For myself, I started to look into fashion and began to feel ripped off if you will at the choices guys were offered in fashion, everything colors, to fabric, and style. So for me it was more of a, I'm just as good as you are and I'm not going to be a sheep.

One thing I won't do is encourage anyone to start, simply because that is a personal choice. There are many things to take into consideration and weigh out.

[Gooeymac]

I wish it was that simple Lisa- LOL

'Noname' was closer to home though. Without going into detail, if my dressing interfered with my private/work life the 'fallout' would be astronomical! Maybe i'll stay as i am and admire you Gurls from afar. It's simpler, but probably not as much fun X

[Lisa Golightly]

A male friend of mine used to question me all the time... why did I do it? What was it like etc and I used to answer as best I could. Then one day he asked me to promise him that I wouldn't laugh and then proceeded to tell me that he had tried it that weekend... Didn't do a thing for him... nada; and he has this really big thing for stockings...

So you see, if you do and you are then you were meant to be, but if you do and you are not then a standard boy ye be ;)

[Kate Simmons]

Depends on the person Gooey. Ericka

[Helen MC]

Mac, if it feels good and it harm none other, DO IT!

Now you don't give us some vital information. If you are married, especially if you have kids, or have a serious or live-in girlfriend then there are other factors to consider. If on the other hand you are single, divorced etc and live alone then you can do as you wish.

Buy yourself some pairs of panties of the type you like and the correct size, there are sizing charts on the web and there may even be a link to one here. I would recommend buying over the Internet as it can be a bit daunting buying panties etc for the first time in a shop although in most shops it is self service and the assistants couldn't care less. You can always say they are for your wife if asked. Anyway, the Internet saves all that. Likewise with your shoes etc, buy them over the web .

Having the clothing that you want, ensure you are home alone and no callers are likely to interupt. Lock the door, draw the curtains and dress up and ENJOY!

The beauty of panties of course is that you can wear them all the time under your male trousers, as I and many others do, as long as you take sensible precautions to avoid discovery, for example don't let the tops of your panties show over the waistband of your trousers, wear your shirt , tee shirt etc OVER your knickers not tucked in to them. Use a cubicle (stall) in a public or works toilet for both types of excretory function and make sure the door is locked or bolted, I was caught out 30 years ago when the lock didn't work on the toilet door where I then worked. Over here in the UK we of course have the advantage over our American "sisters" that modern male underpants of the "slip" style are virtually identical to women's panties, being briefs in many colours and patterns, have a double gusset, elastic round the leg openings and waist and no fly in the front, so at a quick glance unless they are pink and frilly a pair of panties would not draw too much attention these days compared to 40 years ago when I started to wear my big sister's knickers and the only underwear that boys and men then had were plain white Y-Fronts or undershorts a bit like a baggier version of boxers.

Why worry about likeing it too much or not being able to control it. I get the impression that, like myself, you do not want to go outdoors en-femme or try to pass as a woman to others, so what is the problem.

If it will help, send me a PM and I will be happy to give you any hints I can from my experiences as I am 17 years older than you and have been crossdressing since I was 12. I have never had any doubts or guilt about doing so either and have never "purged" that means thrown my female clothing away either nor ever would!

Good Luck Mac, and as I say don't resist it, ENJOY IT!

[noname]

I wish it was that simple Lisa- LOL

'Noname' was closer to home though. Without going into detail, if my dressing interfered with my private/work life the 'fallout' would be astronomical! Maybe i'll stay as i am and admire you Gurls from afar. It's simpler, but probably not as much fun X

Just wanted to say, you don't have to go the full nine yards if you will. It's not too hard to find some pretty neutral clothes if you choose.

[Jasmine Ellis]

Go On Try It What Have You Got To Lose

[Amber_8281]

The worst that could happen it that you will like it and not have enought time
To do it . But you will never know unless you try.


Good Luck

Amber

:Party2:

[Sally24]

I have to admit that there is something to the maxim "The more you dress, the more that you want to dress", at least for me.

[Deanna2]

What's to control. If you don't do it, you'll never know what you have missed and will, therefore, wonder about it for evermore. If you do it and hate it, then you'll get it out of your system.

To paraphrase a promo on TV, 'If you never, never do it - you'll never, ever know'.

[Lawren]

It's an individual thing. Many try it but not all enjoy it. A very dear (gay) friend of mine used to dress up on occasion to do skits in his Improv theatre but he never did it any where else. In my case, it is like an addiction. I have tried to quit but always return. As my girlfriend says, "There are a lot of worse things that a man can do. Because you are an admirer I strongly suspect that you would very much enjoy it. I will suggest that you closely examine your reasons for being an admirer and/or for wanting to try it yourself. If your are simply attracted to or curious about the clothes and how they would feel on you, then I would say go ahead and try it. However, if you find that your attraction has a powerfull sexual stimulus, then I will strongly reccomend that you don't as it will probably only intesify those desires and may lead you to places that you don't want to go.

At any rate, the final descision is up to you. I am only trying to encourage you to consider the pros and cons very carefully.

[Karren H]

Well Mac it's up to you...but what's the difference between trying crossdressing and say trying sky diving? I mean you could like jumping out of a plane and get carried away with buying new parachutes and gear maybe your own plane?? Hehehe. Its like anything else in this life...you just need to control yourself. Everything in moderation!!


So go for it but be warned and be prepared to shell out some big bucks for a second wardrobe if you do like it!! Not a cheap hobby by any means!!

:D

Love Karren

[Maggie Kay]

I wish that I could view CD as a hobby but for me it clearly is not. When I think back to that day when I was pondering putting on a pair of panties, I remember thinking some of the same things that were said here. For some CD is a compulsion and there is a real difference between wondering what it is like to having done it. After one has done it, doing it again is very much easier. That can be good and also very bad. If your situation is such that you might have fallout from dressing, this might be the only time when you can prevent a life changing problem. Most find that when they start they cannot stop. That is to say once is all it takes. Would I change my decision that fateful day? Probably yes. Why? the problems with acceptance that family and others have given me and the self examination that CD has forced me to deal with. Could I make that decision back then? Probably not. Why? My path required my examination of the issues behind my wanting to dress in woman's clothes even only panties. Then again I was alone and had no one who had gone before to advise. If it won't leave you alone, and you can't focus on life, you too may be needing to see where CD takes you. If so, prepare yourself for quite a ride.

Kay

[KateLongman27]

As stated in other posts which stated other factors like wife, kids etc. I'm going to assume you're like me and don't have any dependancies on you.



My over-riding worry is that i will like it too much and have trouble controlling myself in the future


Why would you have trouble controlling yourself in the future?

You have and do control other addictive things like Caffiene, Alcohol etc. intake and thus they don't have control over your life, so what is the difference?

Unless the point is you're on the verge of the looking glass and you want to go through like Alice (in wonderland) but are afraid that once through you'll lose your masculinity.

Though to this point everyone is different.

Generalisations:

Work: None of their business what you do in your private life, you have a right to privacy. Only exception is if you want to come dressed as a women into work then you may have to inform them (See code of conduct).

Workmates: Only tell them if you want to, it's none of their business what you do in your private life.

Friends and family: Difficult. To tell or not to tell that is the question.

Other than those generalisations, I say just buy one dress and see how you feel.

[tekla west]

If you think you couldn't control it, then you already know the answer to that question.

[angelfire]

At first I thought I was an admirer too, but once I tried I realised how much I loved it...and I am still an admirer.

[TinaO]

I'm a 36 y/o admirer and i have never crossdressed in my life.
However, i must admit that the urge to dress has been getting stronger for the last year and i am now having problems controlling it. I think deep down that is why i'm here on this site, although i've never admitted it. Having read many of the threads on this site i feel inspired to experiment. I am considering experimenting with a pair of heels and underwear only at the moment.
My over-riding worry is that i will like it too much and have trouble controlling myself in the future. Surely, if i never start then i should be able to keep myself in check. True or not? Any advice or thoughts Gurls ?

Mac
Just go for it, you will love the feeling.

Hugs TinaO

[Phoebe Reece]

If you don't try it, you will forever be wondering what it is like and that can consume your attention almost as much as actually doing it. If you try it and don't like it - it's over with and you don't have to waste any more time on it. If, however you try it and do like it, you will be kicking yourself for not having gone ahead and tried it sooner. Quite a few crossdressers begin their dressing even later in life than you are contemplating, so don't feel you are that odd in experimenting at age 36.

Beginning crossdressing will certainly change your life. Control is an issue all crossdressers have to deal with to some degree. Finding balance between the masculine and feminine side of your life is not an easy task. Some of us have found that balance and are happy with the situation. Some have not achieved the balance they want and are unhappy.

The choice is yours. Since you are active on this forum, my bet is that sooner or later curiosity is going to get the better of you and you will soon be wearing a lot more than heels and underwear.

Good luck and have fun, whatever your choice is.

[Bev06 GG]

MMmm well not really a question anyone else can answer. You know yourself better than anyone else on here does, and it sounds like you already know the answer.
BEVxxxx

[angelfire]

For a while I was curious about a different fetish that I thought I was in to (I am not going into that though). I would fantasize about it and everything, then the day I actually tried it, found out I didn't like it at all. And that was the end of that.

[Sky]

My over-riding worry is that i will like it too much and have trouble controlling myself in the future...Any advice or thoughts Gurls ?

It's like Pringles: once you pop, you can't stop.

(Better not get into what "pop" could mean :heehee: ... let's say it's only "dress up").

[CarmenG]

Mac, if you have to ask, YOU ARE.... if you think you are, THEN YOU ARE... sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself and not us... we know where we are and i am pretty sure you know as well. if you are going to TRY... why do it..... people that try are always trying..... do it and move forward with your life. you will come up on walls and obsticles up the wahzoo so prepare yourself. we, your sisters, are here to lend you a helping hand as best we can......Life is your journey, ENJOY IT...:hugs:

[ColleenCD]

Mac,

Most of us started at an early age, driven by uncontrollable desire. You have to decide if this is controllable.

Colleen

[Gooeymac]

Thankyou so much to everybody that has taken the time to reply to this thread with advice, honesty and openness. It has been a great help to me and has certainly given me plenty to think about. I think if i'm honest then deep down i know that i probably will try it one day - when that will be i'm still not sure. I still have concerns.Based on previous life experience, i believe that once i start it will near on impossible for me to stop the process developing. Anyway, if i do then you all will be the first to know about it!

Thanks again X

[Angie G]

:OMG: just do it it's not going to end the world if you like it fine if you dont fine!
P.S. let us know how you like it :hugs:
Angie G.

[DAVIDA]

If I had a choice I would coose not to do this. The problem is, I don't have a choice, this is something that I have to do. Does anyone choose to do this , or does it choose you?

[Charleen]

I think if i'm honest then deep down i know that i probably will try it one day - when that will be i'm still not sure. I still have concerns.Based on previous life experience, i believe that once i start it will near on impossible for me to stop the process developing. Anyway, if i do then you all will be the first to know about it!

Thanks again X[/QUOTE]

I can only speak for myself, but from the time I tried on my Mom's things, that was it,. so you are probably right about stopping. I couldn't, and now won't. I'm en femme in my own way almost constantly, and couldn't be happier. As Lily emerges, I am looking forward to what's next. I have come to terms with who I am, yet vistas are still opening almost daily. you are still keeping things close to the vest though. We have no idea of your age, SO statis, what those "previous life expieriences" are. Nothing. If we knew a little more maybe we could help a little more. Nobody on this site will bite. At least not hard. To paraphrase, we're all in the same heels:heehee: . We are here to help each other. Love and xxxx, Lily

[Dee 1062]

Time will tell:)
I started at a very young age and did not even know it was Cd. older I got more I liked it.