need help

[barbra1958]

have a problem hope someone can help.my wife told me to quit dressing up because she wants this marrige to work.but i dont want to stop it is real hard to do.have not dressed in one week and it sure is driving me crazy.you see she took off about two weeks ago and went to west cost to see her sister to have fun.this is the second time she went.she told me to get rid of my dresses and under clothes.i did i put them in my car so she cant find them.i have been dressing up since i was 10yrs old.there is something about it that makes the day a hole lot better.i sure do miss it very much.what should i do about the wife?sometimes i want the marrige to work and sometimes i dont.i sure do wish someone could take to her and tell her that crossdressing is not a bad and horrilble thing.well thank you for your help ladys.barbrasugar.

[LisasTime]

Ive never been in that situation but it sounds like you will never give up.So either you lie or face divorce in which the reward will be you can dress.Sometimes its worth it especially if youre not being treated well.

[tvdonna]

Err, I think that you and your wife need to seek joint counselling. Hopefully you can find a trans-friendly marriage counsellor. I could say more, but I think that sums it up (my :2c: )

Good luck!

[Roberta Lynn]

Sorry to see you're still having problems with your wife.
You've have some good advice in the other threads you've started, have you been able to talk to your wife about crossdressing and why you enjoy it?
I noticed there two introductory threads for Barbra1958. In the first one your wife is accepting and understanding, the next one, two week later, she 'outs' you, what happened, what changed her attiude towards you? This could be the root of your problem.

There are alot of wives that don't accept crossdressing but work out a compromise with thier husbands. Hope things work out for you.
:love:

[Phoebe Reece]

Barbra, your wife seems to think that crossdressing is something you can turn on and off like a switch. It is up to you to educate her on the true nature of this part of you. She needs to understand this is as much a part of you as any physical part - such as an arm or leg. It is not something you just quit or get "cured" of. You may be able to suffer through long periods of time without actually dressing, but that will not take it out of your mind and make it go away. While your wife has the right to not want to see it herself, she has no right to deny you from dressing when she is not around.

You have been questioning whether or not you want the marriage to survive. To really answer that, you really need to know if she wants the marriage to survive. If both of you have some willingness to compromise, there is hope. However, if only one of you is willing to give on an issue, more trouble is in front of you.

[jozee]

My Ex Used To Blow A Gasket Any Time I Put On Any Of Her Things.
Hell, She Used To Blow One Every Time Things Didn't Go Her Way.
She Made My Life Miserable For Seven And A Half Years, And When
She Couln't Take It Any More, She Left. Six Months Later, She Couldn't Understand Why I Wasn't Begging Her To Come Back. That
Was 20 Yrs Ago, And I Have Spent All Those Years With A Wonderful
Woman Who Cares More About Others Than Herself And Lets Me
Dress Whenever I Want.life's Too Short To Be Miserable. Get Out
Asap!

[Kimberley]

I think there is a real shortfall of information here.

How educated is she about TG issues?
Are there concerns about children?
How long has she known about it?
Did she know before you were married?
Have you been stepping outside negotiated boundaries? Has she?
Is crossdressing interfering with sensual and sexual activities?
What has changed in the relationship?

This is a relationship issue at the least not a Xdressing one. That said, there are two sides to every story so her reasons need to be placed on the table so you can address them. The reason so far is very flimsy in my opinion.

What was stated so far is only a statement of control over the marriage not an issue of crossdressing.

If you havent already, read my post from the other day. It may very well be you and changes you are going through that have brought this on.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38070

Hugs,
Kimberley.

[Jasmine Ellis]

How long has she know about your crossdressing?

If its a long time then something has changed in your marriage. Sit with her to find out why she has change her ways about the crossdressing part of you.

The two of you got to talk. And very soon

[Florence Tidji]

only two solutions: either ou convince her it's part of you and step by step she will accept it, or it is a woman that can never accept it and the future may not be so easy unless you start a new life. :-( but I'm convince you will have to make a choice. I have never met anybody who stopped crossdressing...

[Karren H]

Well why don't you tell her that? And get a copy og the program "Secret Lives of Women maddied to Crossdressers". Was on WE last night. Very well done show..

And btw your car will be the first place she looks... Search the forum for some threads on hiding clothing...

If you can't get her to conceede some ground on this youl either have to dress behind her back somewhere or end tha marriage. Neither one is probable a good solution but that's the risks of our hobby!! Like it or not it goes with the territory...

Love Karren

[barbra1958]

one she has known for the past 30yrs.about my dressing up.i dont know why she changes her mind from mint to mint.you know i realy dont care at point in time.i am gonna do my thing wheather she likes it or not.i have to work 13 to 16 hrs a day for the job i have and when i get home all i want to do is get cleaned up and put my dress on and relax.she only has to work 4 to 5 hrs a day.that isnt nothing.she works at a food store.right now i am to the stressed point were i dont care any more.just like one lady said you cant just turn it off like a light switch it dont work like that.so i am gonna keep going keep dressing up and be happy for me weather any body likes it or not.i am gonna try this weekend to find me a nice place to go a bar or a club were they let crossdresses go to and just have fun.some were in atlanta georgia i will find one.thank you for your time and have a great day.barbra.:straightface: