How many of you wish you would get caught by your SO

[Bev06 GG]

I know that there are many of you on this site who are completely in the closet to your SOs. I was just wondering tho, how many of you take risks in a bid to be caught out, because in your heart of hearts you desperately want her to find out but just dont have the nerve to tell her to her face.
I only ask because Ive spoken to a few CDs of late, who leave tell tale signs around the house in the hope that it will eventually spark off a conversation, that would help them to confess all.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[heathr1]

Not actually wished I'd get caught, but with my only long term girlfriend, who I'm no longer seeing, I told her outright and she was great about it:happy:

With other partners who I was not with long, I've dropped hints such as complimenting on their clothes/hair/make-up and even occasionally having a go at doing their make-up for them.

This was not the reason why things did not work out though.

[Sarah Rabbit]

My S.O. knows, as does my family. But my S.O. does not want to tell her family..Sometimes I wish they would find out, just so I can relax and get on with life..Unfortunately, leaving tell tale signs around their houses is a little hard to explain:happy:

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Byllie]

Already got caught; and as long as you're honest and upfrint, things have a chance of going well.

[Toyah]

Rosanne knows all about my dressing but not so much about my pictures, she wont take any and does not like seeing them. I do leave bits and bobs around for my Mum to find I am sure she would be accepting but I guess she has enough to cope with dad.

[Jessica1]

My wife found out about my femme alter - ego about a year-and-a-half ago. It was hard going somewhat at first but she has "met me halfway," so to speak; she likes to hang out w/ Jessica now and is even planning a femme getaway sometime soon for my b-day (what a woman)! Anyway, to answer your question, yes I would sometimes leave a site or two up on the computer (or an article of my femme clothing out) from time to time to see what her response would be. At first she didn't really notice (she and I both have a bit of ADD from working in film/tv industry I suspect) but eventually she put two and two together. My main regret was that I was not upfront with her sooner about this issue but I am SO glad that it is out in the open now! :happy:

[Eugenie]

I was doing it very often after I had told my SO about my X-dressing even though she had stated clearly that she tolerated it but that she didn't want to see me.

It was stronger than my desire to be nice to her, I couldn't resist the temptation to take risks, that was part of the excitement. I know it was a stupid and selfish thing to do but the urge was too strong. It was ridiculous as I very well knew what would be the effect, and she caught me a few times... She would get cross at me, of course. But nothing would stop my foolish behavior.

I have now completely stopped doing it. I try hard to hide my x-dressing from her, not because she would protest, but because I have finally interiorised the fact that I was hurting her feelings very badly.

Eugenie (not proud of her past behavior):o

[Joy Carter]

My wife is the sweetest woman but she stated "I don't want it". "I can't handle it". So Joy is in the closet and I respect my wife and her feelings. But she knows I'm planning to go clubbing the fall and winter so I guess it's a hotel then off to socialize with my sisters.:o

[ColleenCD]

Bev,

I was upfront with my wife when we married, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She reverts to small talk to avoid it. I asked her to read My Husband Wears My Clothes, which she did. Her fear was that I would transition. I told her no chance of that happening, I just like the clothes and fem things. I also asked her to watch the WE show Secret Lives of Women - Married to a Crossdresser. She didn't want to see it.

She hasn't seen me fully dressed, but I'm not trying to make her see Colleen either.

Colleen

[Becky Blue]

Well I have heard some stories of how girls get caught and in some cases they clearly want to get caught. Some seem to go out of their way taking huge chances.

[loki_uk]

I'd love to, but I'd struggle to explain the inevitable why ?, and anyway I think my missus in her heart already knows well either I read to much into things or it seems that way

I thinks it worse if you've previously semi come out it's gone badly and then you've denied everything when been asked, I mean I know women like their to change it's in your nature to try but do you ever change if your shocked by something would you years later come round to accepting it ?

[sparks]

Maybe subconsiously I did at first. Lord knows I'm a coward. Than I hid everything. It didn't matter either way. There was/is always an uncomfortable distance with anything Cd.

[Miss Vicki]

I have been married for almost 30 years.I mentioned my hobby to her 3 months after marriage. She did not want to accept it. She then caught me in pantyhose one day and went crazy. Then a couple of years later she found my stash nd then she drew the line. She does not want a crossdresser in her life. Thus I am in the closet. DEEP in the closet. I do wish that I was more patient in finding a spouse those many years ago. Maybe I would have found one that would have been accepting of my desires and we could be up front with each other. Hindsite is 20/20.
The answer to your question is YES. I did drop hints to my wife and I wanted to be caught so that our lives could progress. It did not go as I wanted. At least she did not shout it to everyone or divorce me. I still love her very much. I just wish that this part of me could be a part of US.

[Kate Simmons]

Makes me wonder Bev how some can "get away" with it for so long. I concealed it from my wife for two years but finally told her. She didn't like it and kept trying to "fix" me over the years but at least I didn't have the mental stress of hiding it. That was 30 years ago and now we are apart. In such a close relationship as marriage or living together, it's damn near impossible to cover yourself 100% of the time. The mental strain alone must be terrible. That's probably why some wish the SO would "catch" them as they want to tell them, but want to spare their feelings at the same time. It could be potentially mentally and physically damaging. Ericka Kay

[Kittptcd]

Many years ago my wife offered and helped me dress for a Haloween party. We had a great night out and it was fun for all. After a few weeks had passed I asked her if I could dress again but she was not good with it.

So to this day I still keep Kitt hidden from her because she is not comfortable with it. If it isn't enjoable for her then I would not enjoy it either. At times we mention it but it is just not her thing.

That was quite a few years ago. A few weeks ago I was showering and I decided to put on some lipstick and the wife walked in on me. She was not amused.So I realize that I need to keep things on the QT and remain discreet.

I think she is aware of my passion and just lets me take my times to myself and after all these years almost 50 of dressing I am at peace with what ever times I get.

I still worry at times that I have put everything away so as not to get her upset and sometimes rushing around we all leave a tell tale sign. It is a touchy situation for many of us but we all know what is best for our spouses and girlfriends. If and when the time is right we will all know it.

One thing thirty plus years of marriage has taught me it is give and take and we are still best friends but we do have lines that we never cross.

Have fun enjoy and be at comfortable with yourself and you situations every one is different and only we know what is right for each of us.

Huggs Kitt

[Angie G]

I never got cougt a few times I forgot to put something away that she found and asked about.
We were talking one day I told her it's not fair girl can wear skirts in hot weather but guys can't so she let me wear one of her skirtsthe rest history
Now I have a lot of female things :hugs:
Angie G.

[Tina Dixon]

I was trying to work up the nerve to tell my wife about my dressing, but she found pictures on the computer instead, truthfully I don't think either way is easy.

[Marla S]

I was just wondering tho, how many of you take risks in a bid to be caught out, because in your heart of hearts you desperately want her to find out but just dont have the nerve to tell her to her face.

I only ask because Ive spoken to a few CDs of late, who leave tell tale signs around the house in the hope that it will eventually spark off a conversation, that would help them to confess all.
Take care
BEVxxxx

Can't speak for all, but if you rationalized and trained yourself that it would not a good idea to be out, the wish of getting caught is a "way" to come out if you don't have enough self-esteem (I'd say most CDs usually lack self-esteem).
Leaving some signs is a bit like to talk about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and you get almost the same reaction - "I've seen nothing":whistling: or hysteria.

[Wendy me]

how intresting ... my wife knows abought my dressing we still need to get things going on that i never got cought fully dressed ... been busted for forgetting things .... i have wanted to have her meet Wendy .... just every time i try to plan it something happens to mess it up.... so yes i think that getting cought would be like a good thingy .... but if my wife knows that i dress then could i get cought?? or would it be a unexpected meeting of the outher girl in our lifes???? but yes it would be so dame cool to get this long over due meeting over with........

[Bev06 GG]

Thank you girls for all of your answers. Very interesting and informative but also quite disturbing. Its a shame that some of you have to go thru everything that you do just sos that you can have some You time.
Take care
BEVxxx

[Karren H]

Well even before she knew the answer was Hell No!! Yeah I took chances but not to try to get caught!! More a thrill thingy I think. To try not to get caught. LOL.

Getting caught is highly over rated in my opinion. Hehe


Love Karren

[Tracy_Victoria]

I know that there are many of you on this site who are completely in the closet to your SOs. I was just wondering tho, how many of you take risks in a bid to be caught out, because in your heart of hearts you desperately want her to find out but just dont have the nerve to tell her to her face.
I only ask because Ive spoken to a few CDs of late, who leave tell tale signs around the house in the hope that it will eventually spark off a conversation, that would help them to confess all.
Take care
BEVxxxx

I've never really left tell tale signs around the house delibrately but I do miss things and Raksha notices them more than most, I suppose the good thing is she is aware of my dressing, but I suppose the bad things is bar telling me what I have done wrong, thats as far as the convasation goes.

[joanlynn28]

Subconsciencely I wanted to get caught so that I could be out in the open and seek the consueling that I always wanted to have to see if I am really just a crossdresser or transgendered. Well it has just been over a year since I was discovered by my wife about my long held secret. Sure I was almost caught in the act about a half a dozen times, but it wasn't until my wife discovered a wig adverdisment that I had left in my day planner. Sure *I told her I would seek consuling to stop, but this is something I can't stop, after 35 years this is an intrigal part of me. I scene numermous pyschologists, therapists, and spent 28 days in a inpatient treatment hospital and have come to the conclusion that yes, I am transgendered. And I am going to lose my home, family, etc to become the person that I must be. Finding my true self I no longer have to hide behind the fake male persona normal society has inflicted upon me. Yes I can now be happy and I am glad that I am free now to be all that I can be. It is just too bad that my soon to be exwife doesn't have an open mind to except me as I am. I was born to be a girl and a girl I will be in my givin time. I just wish that I hadn't waited so long and would have been honest to my wife from the beginning about my thoughts. Yes she always had a suspion about me, the long finger nails, finding woman's close at my house, certain comments I have made. In closiing those of you out there in relationships be honest with you significant other and tell them the truth.

[Bobbie14]

It's not so much that I wanted to get caught, but I didn't want to have to hide it, either. I've worn panties most of my married life (over 30 years), and it started by letting her see me wearing her panties at first; she wasn't too happy about that, not so much because I was wearing panties, but was wearing HER panties. So I started buying my own, and put them in the wash along with my other clothes. She does the wash (although I've volunteered for years LOL), so she sees my things (the washable ones, anyway) and rarely comments on it. Once in a while when I make a more radical change, such as about two years ago when I started wearing mostly panties with ruffles all around them (I love my panties as feminine as possible!), she made a couple of comments, but not necessarily negative or positive. So putting my pretty things (lingerie mostly) in the wash is my way of telling her without having to tell her.

Some things, though, I'm not comfortable with her seeing -- my silicone breast forms, for example. They stay well hidden in the bottom of my panty drawer most of the time. But I know she's seen them in there once or twice when she was doing some "unauthorized" reorganizing in the bedroom. She didn't say anything, however, and neither did I. Some things we just don't talk about it, and have both more or less accepted it that way.

[Jennifer Soames]

My wife knows and likestoindulge me occasionally. I think getting caught sounds good but the trauma you risk is not worth it. Be open, honest and upfront. Don't exchange your fears for her tears.

Bye:heehee:

[Janice Ashton]

It was easy for me I came out to my wife and she divorced me . Ho Hum!!

[brina_cd]

I was entirely an "underdresser" at the time, no outerwear in my stash, though I did have water baloons in my bras a few times. Got real good at taking my bra and stockings off in the car on the way home so I wouldn't get caught wearing them.

Anyway, I got "the ultimatum" and purged. Some times I feel like I'm about to burst, usually at times of high stress (like money problems because I just found out that on eof my vehicles needs a new cylinder head...). Funny how those urges come out at times when I want to escape my "normal existence..."

- Brina

[Raychel]

My wife knows of my dressing, Although she has never seen me fully dressed. Maybe if she were to walk in on me sometime the would eliminate the out of sight, out of mind issues that we have.

I am not sure that would help, but I would definitly be more in the open with her. But overall I do not wish to be caught, or chance the reprocusions that being caught could have.

[Bonnie D]

I'm still in stealth and have never done anything hoping my SO would find out. I've made a few mistakes in the past but noticed before she did. If she finds out on her own then fine I can start looking for another place to live and then I won't have to hide so much. This hiding is becoming more stressful the older I get.

Bonnie

[Lotte L]

Dear Bev,

Despite I told my wife Anna i'm CD its still no subject to be spoken, she sweeps it under the carpet. With little things I try to put it on the agenda again, but she ignores. If she suspects my toenails have nailpolish on than she gives me my privacy and goes out of the bathroom. Sometimes I try to be caught but even that doesnt work.

Lotte

[barbra1958]

getting seen by your wife is some times a pain in rear end.first she tells your its ok with her then the next thing she tells you not to do it anymore she dont like it.now how do you deal with this.mine told me this and just two days ago she moved out and left me hanging.can some one tell me how to deal with this bunch of bull.my email is barbrasugar@hotmail.com.please no hate full emails thanks.

[cindianna_jones]

I know that there are many of you on this site who are completely in the closet to your SOs. I was just wondering tho, how many of you take risks in a bid to be caught out, because in your heart of hearts you desperately want her to find out but just dont have the nerve to tell her to her face.
I only ask because Ive spoken to a few CDs of late, who leave tell tale signs around the house in the hope that it will eventually spark off a conversation, that would help them to confess all.
Take care
BEVxxxx

I tried to keep it a secret. Because, I knew that once the secret was out, there would be no holding me back. The secret was the only thing that kept my other self at bay. But it was bound to come out and it did. And the rest as they say, is history.

Cindi

[dee296y]

i have not been caugth, -rather caught out. ie clothes moved, make up used. it is not very nice as my wife does not wish to get involved

[Myst]

I've only ever told of my crossdressing to one person... my girlfriend. At the time, my dressing wasn't a big thing. It was only something that I would enjoy on occasion; and it was only pantyhose, panties and bras that I was into.

She seemed upset at first, then tried to accept it. She even dressed me up once! But that was it... that was as far as she wanted to go with it... although she was quite aware of my desire. I still kept my panties, but would never let her see it.

One time, when she was away, I dressed up and she later found out what I had been up to and mad was an understatement! She was furious! It was something that she would often bring up at her couselling appointments.

I got rid of all my stuff after that inicident and told her that my phase was over, which it was for sometime. No real desire for it anymore, but now its back, and its more than just wanting to wear bras and panties... now I want full outfits, make-up... the whole thing! I would like to tell her and have some fun with her dressed up as Myst, but I know it is something that I have to keep hidden.

I do however tend to catch myself giving away small hints, but nothing that she has ever noticed or commented on. Maybe in a way, I do want to tell, but just too affraid to?

-Myst-

[wifeofsissy GG]

I'm glad my husband told me instead of him surprising me. I love cake, but like it one piece at a time. I'm fully supportive of him and love to play with him, but I wouldn't of liked to "walk in on him as dressed". I remember years ago, before he came out.......I had found a pair on nylons hidden in the closet.....I was so hurt, I thougth he was cheating on me, I confronted him but he denied it (of course). A whole year went buy until he came out and told be he liked to CD. I was so relieved, cause all those little things I kept finding.....nylons, makeup than didn't belong to me (thougth I was going crazy) All the suspicions were answered at that moment. We wasn't cheating on me.......all along, he was just trying to be "himself"...........now he can and we can just enjoy our lives together and have fun.:love:

[TrannyJenny]

I REALLY want to share my dressing preferences with my wife , but I think the risk is too high, as someone said in another post, 9 of 10 confessions of this kind will end awfull

[Marla S]

9 of 10 confessions of this kind will end awfull
That's the problem. But if you don't tell and she find's out, it's likely that it becomes 10 out of 10 :straightface:

[Randee]

As a kid alone in the house mincing around in my sister's dancewear, I was scared to death that I would be caught zipped up in her leotards and tights and unable to free myself. I thought it would be the end of the world if someone walked in on me while I was enjoing myself sliding around in her silky undies under tights and a leotard. Many years later I ofund myself wearing a turtleneck leotard and tights to sleep in during the winter months in front of my parents and it was no big deal. I wonder if it would have been so bad to get caught back then. Sure I would have been sternly scolded and punished for wearing my sister's clothes. But it may have ended with mom getting me my own leotard and tights outfit to wear when I pleased and the mystery would have been a thing of the past.

[Tina]

Bev, I think there are a lot of excellent opinions and statements in these
replies. I especially liked Kitt and Karrens comments. Sometimes I think it
is a shame to have to find some alone time to dress and be comfortable with it.

I think this does, in most cases, put some strains on a relationship.

My wife knows but I don't dress that often and I don't overwhelm her with it.

I hope this helps and I enjoyed reading these replies.

Take care,

Tina

[gail price]

Yes i wish my wife would catch me and then i hope i could let her understand what i am so she could accept me as Gail. (dream on!!!)

[christie]

It would be easier to bring up, but she has caught me before and the results were not pretty. So yes and no.

Christie

[Billijo49504]

I wonder if my wife knows I like to dress in womans clothes. Gee, We spent over$600 at Lane Bryant in the last month. I've got skirts and tops hanging behind the bathroom door. And the other day, I asked her to help me straighten my bra in back, cuz with my bad arm, I couldn't reach. Yes, I guess she knows.<LOL>...BJ

[Gemma Rhodes]

I know that there are many of you on this site who are completely in the closet to your SOs. I was just wondering tho, how many of you take risks in a bid to be caught out, because in your heart of hearts you desperately want her to find out but just dont have the nerve to tell her to her face.
I only ask because Ive spoken to a few CDs of late, who leave tell tale signs around the house in the hope that it will eventually spark off a conversation, that would help them to confess all.
Take care
BEVxxxx

Hi Bev,

Well, I just wish I had an SO to tell. Although I am "out" to my family and best friends now I still wish I had an SO to share this with and who would love me for the person I am. :cry:

[ElleCD]

Mixed feelings. I hate keeping secrets form her. If she caught me it would take the responsibility of telling her from me. I am taking more risks to pursue where I want to go with being Elle but not deliberately to get caught. The potential consequences of discovery could be horrible so I am doing my best to keep things secret. The irony is I can't really know what her reaction would be and so the angst, fear and limitations (I don't have guilt any more) may be unnecessay. Nothing is perfect.

[Katiegirl]

My wife caught me out in the late 1970's, and I have now been seperated and divorced for 25 years. We do however still keep in contact.

I did not try and give her hints she found out by accident.

My second wife never found out about my crossdressing, we divorced over another issue.

:straightface: