How to come out to relatives

[ArleneRaquel]

Last Tuesday August 22 while visiting relatives in New Jersery I come down to breakfast totally enfemme shorts, top, bra, panties, Red Wig, unisex glasses,and complete makeup with my legs completely shaved. Needless to stay it caused quite a stir, but after a long talk on who and what I was all about they seemed to accept it. But evidently their youngest son called the next relatives that I was going to visit for a couple of days and a few hours later I received a call from my female cousin that it would be better that I didn't come, you see their youngest daughter, age 20, had just come down with a severe summer fever, and their were concerned that I would get ill. I had told my first group of relatives, another female cousin and her husband,and that I had planned to arrive enfemme at her sister's home. As I said, the son who walked in unannounced, he lives away from home, but has his own key, called ahead and snitched. I feel a made a terrible mistake, but I also feel betrayed and now I don't known what to do.-----Sorry for the long story Can anyone offer any help or suggestions ? THANKS !! !:love:

[ArleneRaquel]

They had no idea. I did it on a impulse. For about three weeks I had been enfemme 24 - 7, shopping,doing yard work, and so on,and I just couldn't bare not being enfemme for a week or more, the only time that I could be enfeeme was while in bed, so over night ( Monday night - Tuesday morning ) I just decided to do it. I often doing things that way. Carole and Dave seemed to accept, in fact we went shopping, dining, and bowling ( something I have not done in at 10 years ! ) all while I was enfeeme, and he was going to drive to my other relatives home while I was " Katrina Maureen ", Now I am somewhat depressed. Thanks ! !:love:

[Julogden]

Last Tuesday August 22 while visiting relatives in New Jersery I come down to breakfast totally enfemme shorts, top, bra, panties, Red Wig, unisex glasses,and complete makeup with my legs completely shaved. Needless to stay it caused quite a stir, but after a long talk on who and what I was all about they seemed to accept it. But evidently their youngest son called the next relatives that I was going to visit for a couple of days and a few hours later I received a call from my female cousin that it would be better that I didn't come, you see their youngest daughter, age 20, had just come down with a severe summer fever, and their were concerned that I would get ill. I had told my first group of relatives, another female cousin and her husband,and that I had planned to arrive enfemme at her sister's home. As I said, the son who walked in unannounced, he lives away from home, but has his own key, called ahead and snitched. I feel a made a terrible mistake, but I also feel betrayed and now I don't known what to do.-----Sorry for the long story Can anyone offer any help or suggestions ? THANKS !! !:love:

Hi Katrina,

Sorry to hear that some of your relatives aren't welcoming you any more.

Well, it's pretty hard to say what you should do without a lot more info on who you are, what you want to do and why you dress, among other things.

Are you a TS and intend to transition or live full time? If so, then I guess you did what had to be done, might have been a better idea to ease into telling relatives, but that's water over the dam now.

If you don't intend to live full time, then maybe dressing as a man when visiting relatives would mend fences, but this is all just speculation, only you know who you are and what you plan on doing long-term.

You know your relatives and we don't, obviously, so it's pretty much impossible for a stranger to suggest specifics of how to deal with them without more to go on.

Hang in there!

Carol:hugs:

[ArleneRaquel]

Therelatives that I came out to are very conservative, polically and socially, so coming out to them first was very ignorant on my part. But surprisingly they were accepting, or appeared to be, it was her more " liberal " sister that "told" me not to visit, and she said it in a very firm manner.:love:

[KirstyChibiMoon]

yeah i can relate---
my family is very mixed about my dressing as a girl--:p
i think though it is best if they all at least know ahead of time about it... surprises usaully arnt the best way to go.
:eek:
i certainly dont agree that it should make any difference if ur a TS or a CD.... some seem to think its ok if your a TS and not ok if ur a TS... i know im much happier as a girl!
:love:
here's a pic of me on my last birthday (july 19th 2006)
with my big sister and 5 of her 7 kids :)

[GG Vanya]

Katrina

Envision this:

I am a guest in relatives' home. I am into BDSM and they do not know. I get up and dress in my :dom: attire, total leather outfit, leather bustier, thigh high boots, complete with a flogger or whip, dangling a few handcuffs from my belt, and come strutting down the stairs for breakfast.:eek:

What reaction would you expect? My attire is no more of a stretch than yours is/was to someone unfamiliar with alternative lifestyles. I'm sure they felt violated, in their own home, as I would if you did that in my home as a guest, ~and I'm fully accepting of the CD lifestyle.

The operative word here is "guest".

From your follow up posts, it's evident that you realize the crashing out of the closet was a bad choice. Now comes damage control. Rather than be angry that someone snitched on you, resulting in being un- invited to other relatives' home, take responsibility for your actions and act accordingly. I'd suggest an apology, backed up with an offer of explanation and information.:happy:

I wish you well.

P.S. What you perceived to be acceptance by Carole and Dave could very well have been their attempt to be gracious and make the best of a bad situation.

[ArleneRaquel]

You are correct, I should not have been so self - centered about having to be enfemme 24 - 7. I hope that I can repair the damage that I have done. Next time I will look before I leap, in other words I will consult with the wonderful gals that are using this forum. Thank you again, an :love:

[julie w]

please lets not kid ourselves most people will not accept us as cd or tg
so unless you are in transition
I would not tell you friends etc .as you cant go back in the closet once out

[ArleneRaquel]

please lets not kid ourselves most people will not accept us as cd or tg
so unless you are in transition
I would not tell you friends etc .as you cant go back in the closet once out

That is very sound advice and so true. But I should try to make peace, after all I am the one that caused all this trouble. I did impose on them. Again thank you very much, talk soon ?:love:

[mollytyler]

My first outing to a relative was my sister Jillian. She was way supportive of the whole issue and started then grooming me to be her little sister. Attached is a pic of me at age 15 when I came out to her.

[Melanie R]

please lets not kid ourselves most people will not accept us as cd or tg
so unless you are in transition
I would not tell you friends etc .as you cant go back in the closet once out

Julie,

I can tell you from personal experience after being seen by many relatives, friends, neighbors, etc who saw me on the WE television documentary that if you are loved unconditionally that you will be accepted for who you are. If not you do not need these people in your life as I told one cousin who would not accept Melanie.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Kate Simmons]

Well Katrina, you did have a captive audience after all. Now you know what some presidential aides feel like when the President makes a speech and ad libs. They are probably swallowing their tongues or in this case their whole breakfast. What were they going to do anyway? You do have gonads though, gotta hand you that. The problem is the fallout which you now know. It's like a ship Captain with torpedoes coming towards him and he shouts: "Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes". It's okay until the torpedoes hit. Then you have to deal with casualties, a wrecked ship, and freaken sharks. Get my point? Hope things go well with you. In all my years of CDing though , even now that I do it openly, what you had the guts to do truely amazes me. BTW, Vanya, I would love it if you came down to breakfast dressed like that (and you know how fussy I am). Ericka Kay

[immike]

I wquld be scared to death to come out to family,friends,relatives.I would not
want to think of the expression on mothers face if I came downstairs dressed
in one of her beautiful short skirtsuits,and a silky white blouse,suntan pantyhose&black heels/w a blonde wig&make-up perfectly done.I'm quite fortunate to be wearing mothers clothes right now.I love to wear her skirts&
blouses&heels.I purchase underwear&pantyhose out of the womens catalogs
I receive at home,so I can try on mothers dresses&shoes,dress slacks,etc.
A TG Guy

[Sarah Rabbit]

BTW, Vanya, I would love it if you came down to breakfast dressed like that (and you know how fussy I am). Ericka Kay
I was going to say something like that,but did not want a:slap:or a :Punch:

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Melinda G]

Even we don't understand what we do and why. How can we expect others to understand something the rest of the world considers a little wierd. Keep it to yourself.

[Charleen]

I don't rightly know, but I do know it ain't the way you did it. It's done, and what's done, done. I like Melanie's answer. Works for me.
Love and xxxx, Lily:hugs: