Do GGs find lingerie sexy or ****ty?

[fionasboots]

One of the things my wife apparently told my mother-in-law while ranting about the whole CDing thing was that I have, on occasion requested that she (my wife that is) wear 'sexy' lingerie, specifically stockings, suspenders, basque, body, hold-ups, all usually in black.

Now I get the impression that they way my wife explained this, in fact the way I think she views my requests herself as well, is that I'm "forcing" her to wear this stuff and that she percieves it as ****ty or perverse in some way. I think my mother-in-law now thinks that I'm in some way trying to get her daughter to "be like me".

Now this is obviously crazy as my desire to see a GG in 'sexy' lingerie is, in my opinion a really male thing to want - I can cite many publications that would back me up on this. The fact that I would also wear such things myself is totally irrelevant :heehee:

Going back to the root problem though; my wife really does feel uncomfortable and unhappy wearing anything so 'sexy' and seems to feel that it is almost wrong in some way.

So my question is, to the GGs; is the sort of thing that blokes find 'sexy' something you would also enjoy wearing (and feel sexy), something you don't really mind, something you'd just put up with (to keep the guy happy), or something you really think is not right and would not wear.

[ Also I'll accept answers along the lines of "no way would I wear it but I love my CD partner to" ;-) ]

For the record I would guess that most GGs would only find lingerie sexy by association, e.g. an ex of mine seemed to quite enjoy wearing various things because we had a great deal of fun when she did :heehee:

[Marla S]

Well, I think you made the mistake to request it and gave her the impression to force it on her.
You probably doesn't want to be requested and forced into clothes yourself, which you don't like or which have a negative connotation for you.

CD/TVs seem to have a different view on the lingerie you described than GGs.

For us it is the ultimate feminity and if we wear it ourself it gives the strongest feadback of feminity to cover our masculinity.

A lot of GGs, besides that they just don't like this kind of clothes, seem to associate a ****ty look with it. A ****ty look may implie being a ****, or in other words an sexual object that is just there to please men. This doesn't go along with most everybodies wish to be strong, independent individuals. I guess it its no fun to have the feeling to be seen as private prostitute.

Your references to this manly desires and the "irrelevance" that you like to wear this items too, probably just underline this fear.
Not everybody is able to see the nice things of this clothes too. ;)

[stephanie B]

Hi,

Before I knew my SO was crossdressing, he asked me if I would consider wearing a basque or suspender belt (garter) and stockings when we went out. He said he got a buzz from knowing exactly what I had on under my dress or skirt. (like it was our secret).. I figured that I really couldn't refuse - why else would I have bought the lingerie and keep them in my drawer?

I often wear stockings and suspender belt under my skirt for work sometimes, so it was really no "big deal"

I have to admit to being somewhat excited at times, thinking what would my boss, or the patient think if they knew.

I have also experimented with me going out with no underwear at all with similar results.

I think "sexy" lingerie is a wonderful thing, and it makes a lovely gift from two people who love each other. (I have to admit to buying some lingerie for myself though)

And I have to say, "whats wrong with being a little '****ty' now and then"?

However, I do agree with Marla, we are not all programmed the same way - feeling ****ty can bring back memories best forgotten and it is, after all up to the individual whether or not she approves. Give her some time and space to be herself.. and if she changes her mind, she will let you know.

Love,

Stephanie

[RikkiOfLA]

During my adult lifetime, I have had several girlfriends. The most recent is my wife, whom I have been faithfully and very happily married to for the past 28 years.

Their opinions about "sexy" lingerie have varied quite a bit. Some have found it fun to wear in the bedroom on occasion; others have disliked it and found it to be embarrassing--more silly than seriously insulting. Their feelings have not been very strong about it; lingerie seems to be extremely hyped up by the media; no woman that I've known thinks it is as sexy as the Victoria's Secret catalog portrays it to be!

I've found the best approach has been gently encourage a woman to wear what she feels comfortable in, and that I might enjoy seeing her in, but never to insist that she wear anything she's uncomfortable in. But then I confess that for me, lingerie is more of an occasional fun thing than a serious fetish.

For me as for most of the women I've known, the best aphrodisiac is love. If I don't love a woman, I find myself quite impotent in her presence. While this was occasionally embarrassing to me in my young single days, it's been rather nice and reassuring to my wife. More than a few of my transgendered friends (but not all, by any means) report the same thing about themselves.

Hope this helps.

Sincerely,
Rikki

[Phyliss]

A long time ago when we used to "do it" (nothing for the past ten years, but that's another story) anytime I'd get the urge to have her wear something risque or lacy, she seemed to be a bit embarrassed about it and never really felt comfortable. Consequently any fantasy I might have conjured up never really happened the way I had planned.
If it were up to her, everybody would wear plain white cotton underwear, even me.

[CDsWifey GG]

I can only speak for myself, I don't view lingerie as "****ty" and while I have no problem with wearing it and enjoying it, if there is something I don't feel comfortable or sexy in, hubby knows not to push...I remember in particular a feathered number I didn't quite understand....back to the point tho you should always let your lady know it is entirely up to her and you don't want her doing anything she is uncomfortable with, and this includes what she wears. She probably just didnt feel comfortable enought to refuse or explain how she felt, and now she sees it as she was pushed into something she didnt want to do. A little more communication could smooth things over there, as with most things.

[Sandra]

I can only speak for myself, I don't view lingerie as "****ty" and while I have no problem with wearing it and enjoying it, if there is something I don't feel comfortable or sexy in, hubby knows not to push....

Same here :happy:

[vbcdgrl]

My X was dead set against wearing anything sexy, including her outer wear. Everything was just "too much trouble". She had worn stockings and garter belt when young and hated 'em. She had breast reduction surgery so she didn't have to wear a bra. Woe be onto me to even suggest that she wear anything "sexy". I'm not blaming her for the demise of our marriage, but, a little more flexibility on her part may have helped the situation. Oh well, now I wear the sexy lingerie myself, and, have more fun!

Vikki

[MsJanessa]

It can be both ****ty and sexy---the difference as I see it is one of degree.

[kathy gg]

Well I can't imagine a woman thinking she would be able to coast through a marriage and never have to wear one sexy/****ty/lingerie thing for her guy. I don't care how Harvard bred and fancy and sophisticated you are....most red-blooded men like to see women wear sexy stuff sometimes. That is a no-brainer and it has nothing to do with crossdressing.

I mean pick up any woman's magazine from Vogue to Cosmo and racy/sexy lingerie is sort of part of the deal if one plans on keep a guy interested.

I have known women from all walks of life and income and education brackets and most know that this is part of the deal.

I suppose if one is overweight or feels insecure with her body {and is not into a few mellowing glasses of wine} or has religious convictions or maybe grew up in a monastary then lingerie might seem innapropriate and disugsting.

But most women who are into guys will wear it. yeah, many might not like it, and I know alot of women HATE gettinig it as presents {hint-hint guys}....because really it is more for the person seeing it than for us.....but we know the scoop.

And I hve said this before, but your mom-in-law now knows WAYYY to much about yoru private life...I woudl be completely mortified if my mom or mom-in-law knew what we did in our bed room. I just gotta wonder, did your wife never have any women friends growing up? Does she have a sister or anything..I mean even on your wedding night...usually picking out the trashy lingerie for that night involves a gaggle of chicks finding the most ridiculous get up to wear for the new hubby....I just can't imagine she thinks only cd's are into seeing women in lingerie....???

[Ellaine]

Surely age is a factor in this.
Am I wrong in thinking that "****ty" underwear was most frowned upon during the war years and up to the swinging sixties? And so, older GG's are more likely to have these values? From then on non-specialist lingerie has become far prettier and sexier to the modern day, now we watch young pop stars cavort in sexy underwear as top garments and television adverts are full of sex appeal with alluring outfits to sell anything from cars to coffee. Young girls go night-clubbing wearing only sexy underwear, all along the South coast of Britain.

[Joanie]

Sexy==wife wearing it in the bedroom and around the house.

****ty==wife wearing it out to the finest restaurant (assuming they would even let you in!)

[claireswife-gg]

I can only speak for myself...

I have to say it depends on my mood. If I'm in a "I feel comfortable with my cellulite count" days, sure, I'll dress up. I find it sexy, both on me and on Claire. I prefer the classier stuff, not so much into the plastic or feathery stuff. Nice black lingerie :) What I never understood though was the male fascination with nurses uniforms... LOL. :D

[fionasboots]

All good advice/opinions as usual and I think I agree entirely with StephenieB's approach, this is sort of what I thought the average GG would think - generally not a big deal but can be fun.

Before anyone gets too carried away with the whole "****ty" image, the sort of lingerie I'm talking about here is more akin to Marks & Spencers rather than Ann Summers ... I'm not sure how to translate this into appropriate stores for the US, sorry!

I suppose this comes back to degree as Janessa put it; buying something from Ann Summers usually implies you have a pretty clear idea of what you're likely to be getting upto later, M&S means you just want something comfortable, elegant, and with no actual intent on being ****ty. Sort of sexy business-woman look ... I'm really not explaining this well am I, sorry!

Yes, Kathy, you're right the mother in law does knom too much about this, and no, there are no close friends that my wife has, no gaggle of girls to choose the lingerie for the wedding (my wife did a pretty good job herself).

I think this is the cause of alot of the problems here; my wife simply does not have any friends that she would call close (or even close-ish). Me, I'll talk to anyone and can be quite trusting (or stupid/naive maybe) so while I can't claim any life-long soul-mate type friends I certainly have enough that I could call on should I need a heart to heart.

My wife has no-one, not one single person that she would think of as a good friend to talk about this. She is very insecure and has pretty low self-esteem. I try to help with this and try and encourage her to go out with the girls from work and enjoy herself but she finds this hard to do.

And really this is probably going off onto another thread!


I can only speak for myself...

I have to say it depends on my mood. If I'm in a "I feel comfortable with my cellulite count" days, sure, I'll dress up. I find it sexy, both on me and on Claire. I prefer the classier stuff, not so much into the plastic or feathery stuff. Nice black lingerie :) What I never understood though was the male fascination with nurses uniforms... LOL. :D

Okay, I've never really understood the nurses (or really any) uniform thing and it's certainly never done anything for me. However, years ago a friend of mine, who was a nurse did suggest that the uniform AND the promise that underneath would be black stockings and suspenders certainly could explain it.

And since the standard uniform does seem to come complete with black hoisery it's probably natural for any red-blooded male to imagine anything other than a pair of cotton granny-knickers and tights so thick they are almost leggings!

Hmmm, maybe it's some sort of Pavlovian response? :heehee:

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Fiona,

Yes to both, I find it very sexy and sometimes abit ****ty. However, I dont think theres anything wrong with either of those two descriptions. I love to be abit ****ty for my partner from time to time, and dI love it even more when he is ****ty for me. Naughty but nice
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Kera_Efflorescence]

Surely age is a factor in this.
Am I wrong in thinking that "****ty" underwear was most frowned upon during the war years and up to the swinging sixties? And so, older GG's are more likely to have these values? From then on non-specialist lingerie has become far prettier and sexier to the modern day, now we watch young pop stars cavort in sexy underwear as top garments and television adverts are full of sex appeal with alluring outfits to sell anything from cars to coffee. Young girls go night-clubbing wearing only sexy underwear, all along the South coast of Britain.

I dunno about that. Most of my GG friends (college age) don't really like sexy lingerie. Maybe a little bit once in a while, or occasionally for a guy's sake, but anything beyond a little bit of lace seems unappealing to them. It may not be "disapproval," exactly, but it's certainly not the enjoyment that crossdressers usually experience.

On the other hand, the GGs I hang out with are very much not preppy, ultra femme, wear-makeup-everyday sorts, and I'm sure that changes things.