I told my girlfriend!

[StephanieCD]

Hey all!
I haven't posted much lately - been going through a tremendous amount of personal life stuff :(

An interesting thing, though - because of somehting going on in my life I've been forced to move and, thusly, reevaluate me relationship. As we were having the "why won't you see me if you move away" discussion my GF got real emotional thinking it was her... when I really think I just need some space to sort out my CD stuff - I've been a codependant relationship junky my whole life.

So I told her about my CDing!

Oh my God that was emotional...

She didn't have much to say - I answered the newbie questions all in one breath. And now she's taking her time thinking of things to talk about. But she still wants to see me and I get mixed feelings. I'm afraid I need space to work this stuff out but acceptance would feel real nice. It'd be unfair to invite her "in" if I'm not sure how I'd react, right? What if she tries to accept me and I still end up not wanting to see her - is that fair? If? If? If?

Felt nice to get it off my chest but now... it's not like we're married - but she'd go that far while I don't think I can... it's not fair to expect her to accept me if I feel that way - even if she wants to try. What if she thinks accepting me is a way to win my eternal commitment and it's not? Ya know? I just don't know - there's so much fear involved.

*sigh*

[Julie York]

Good luck Stephanie. Tricky situation. You have two conflicts. The problem is knowing which one it is that is really causing the problem. Is it really CD or is that not the real issue behind all this?
Ask yourself this. "If she fully accepted and loved what I am and do, right now.....Would I want to marry her?" Then you have your answer.

[Sweet Susan]

You're in for an emotional experience beyond what you've had in the past. If she does accept you and crossdressing, it will be wonderful. However, if you don't want to be as close to her as you have been, it could be that you may wish you had never told her. What is it about her that really causes you to back away from her? Untying that knot could be crucial. Oh, hell, I'm not a pyschologist! But I do know that making love or having sex with a woman while en femme is fantastic. You might want to try that! Wow! What other doors could we open?

[Ashleigh]

Stephanie, just remember that you don't have to rush into anything. Take your time and think things through. Look deep inside and most of all, follow your heart.

[DonnaT]

I've been forced to move and, thusly, reevaluate me relationship. As we were having the "why won't you see me if you move away" discussion my GF got real emotional thinking it was her... when I really think I just need some space to sort out my CD stuff - I've been a codependant relationship junky my whole life.

Seems to me you need to put aside your worry on the CDing issue. That is, if you were not a CD would you still want a relationship with your GF

Is there something about her that you don't see yourself in a long term relationship?

Are you simply afraid of making a commitment?

You need to be honest with yourself so you can be honest with her, for her sake. And if you can't or don't see yourelf in a long term commitment, explain it to her, without bring the CDing into the discussion.

The "It's me, not you" line is not enough.

[Sharon]

Stephanie,
Just be sure you don't shut your GF out while you think things out. The way she reacts may well help you consider how much she means to you. And also -- the reverse is also true!
Good luck and try not to freak out too much now that you've opened up to her.
Sharon

[Wenda]

The other girls have given you good advice. Don't assume what her reaction will be and don't imply emotions on her. Typically, she is concerned that you may continue to 'drift' towards your femme self, and eventually become someone that she does not know or understand. Try to clearly and objectively identify the real issues. Pick the issues that count, and the issues you can win. let the others go. Big opportunity. good luck, luv, Wenda.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Hugs Stephanie :)

kew

[Wendy me]

stephanie wish i hade the answer for you but for most of my life has been a lie to my family freinds and mostly to my slefe........before you get in too deep and have to clean up your past ..........fix it now while you can........the longer the more damage controll you have to do