fionasboots
08-25-2006, 03:58 PM
This came up as part of another thread http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38426
From what my wife has said it sounds like she told her mother quite a bit of what might be considered our private life after I had come clean about the CDing and she could find nowhere else to turn for support.
This is obviously not the ideal situation as mothers are always going to be biased since they wish to protect their children, and daughters in particular I guess. Also there are things that should just be private.
Anyway, the question was asked; why did your wife not confide in anyone else? The answer is sadly very simple, there is no-one that my wife would consider a good friend with whom she could trust with something like this. There are some people she works with that probably would have be able to deal with it but she won't take the risk of telling them in case it gets out (she works at the nursery, could be damaging).
There hasn't been anyone though that she'd trust or talk to about anything even remotely personal though, apart from her mother. Up until now I assume that anything really personal has not been passed onto her either.
My wife has always been like this for as long as I've known her; she is not out-going generally and has always been pretty insecure and never really had a great deal of self esteem. In all honesty I've never really fully understood this since I can't see what there is about her that would make her feel so low; she looks good, she is VERY good at her job (okay it doesn't pay well but that's not her fault), she is organised, is a fantastic mother to our son and so on.
Before I dropped the bombshell this was a problem that we sort of skirted round I suppose, now that my wife needs support and also a great deal of inner strength to deal with everything I think it is going to be a major issue. And I really don't know what to do about it :(
Is it something I have done wrong during the time we have been married? Is it something about me that has kept or made my wife more insecure? Will dealing with the CDing help in some way to give my wife more confidence and independance, possibly because she may now be forced to talk to friends to get support?
For anyone that has gone through feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem what helped? What triggered it?
Like I say, I don't really understand, maybe this is because I do have a bit of an ego (though I wouldn't necassarily admit it even to myself) or maybe I'm just naive and really don't notice the things that would otherwise trample my self-esteem.
Okay, I've wittered on long enough and it's late, apologies if the above makes no sense!
From what my wife has said it sounds like she told her mother quite a bit of what might be considered our private life after I had come clean about the CDing and she could find nowhere else to turn for support.
This is obviously not the ideal situation as mothers are always going to be biased since they wish to protect their children, and daughters in particular I guess. Also there are things that should just be private.
Anyway, the question was asked; why did your wife not confide in anyone else? The answer is sadly very simple, there is no-one that my wife would consider a good friend with whom she could trust with something like this. There are some people she works with that probably would have be able to deal with it but she won't take the risk of telling them in case it gets out (she works at the nursery, could be damaging).
There hasn't been anyone though that she'd trust or talk to about anything even remotely personal though, apart from her mother. Up until now I assume that anything really personal has not been passed onto her either.
My wife has always been like this for as long as I've known her; she is not out-going generally and has always been pretty insecure and never really had a great deal of self esteem. In all honesty I've never really fully understood this since I can't see what there is about her that would make her feel so low; she looks good, she is VERY good at her job (okay it doesn't pay well but that's not her fault), she is organised, is a fantastic mother to our son and so on.
Before I dropped the bombshell this was a problem that we sort of skirted round I suppose, now that my wife needs support and also a great deal of inner strength to deal with everything I think it is going to be a major issue. And I really don't know what to do about it :(
Is it something I have done wrong during the time we have been married? Is it something about me that has kept or made my wife more insecure? Will dealing with the CDing help in some way to give my wife more confidence and independance, possibly because she may now be forced to talk to friends to get support?
For anyone that has gone through feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem what helped? What triggered it?
Like I say, I don't really understand, maybe this is because I do have a bit of an ego (though I wouldn't necassarily admit it even to myself) or maybe I'm just naive and really don't notice the things that would otherwise trample my self-esteem.
Okay, I've wittered on long enough and it's late, apologies if the above makes no sense!