confused about hubby's CD

[MarleneGG]

Hello, now lets see if i did this correctly.
I am new and hubby is a cross dresser. we have been together for 8 years in sept. and there are days that i like it and days i wish he wouldn't do it
WHAT WRONG WITH ME.
MarleneCC

[SherriePall]

Marlene -- welcome to the forum. I'm sure that you will soon have some responses from other GG's who have either the same feelings as you or have gone through that. My wife is stuck in the "I wish he wouldn't do it" stage. The only time I think she likes it is when she needs some fashion or make-up advice. And I'm still learning!

[Rebecca Petersen]

Absolutely nothing.

[suzy]

Hi Marlene,

From the tidbit of information provided, I can't see anything wrong with either of you??? I have to ask.... why do you ask?

Sometimes my wife enjoys it when I dress up and sometimes she'd rather have her male husband next to her....I like it that way too.....

Isn't life great?!!:love:

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Marlene

:welcom: to the forum

I think you feeling are normal. It's a lot to take in at first and most of society thinks were are all wierd.

It will take a little getting used to but if you read a lot of the thread you will find you are not alone

[rosiegurl]

there's nothing wrong with you *smiles* if CD's were perfectly understood and accepted, there would be no need for forums like this one.

the only thing I would say, without knowing your husband, is there is nothing intrinsicly wrong with CDing, anymore than there is if you decided to wear mens pants one day, or a mans shirt. for a lot, it is just about the clothes and the feelings in expressing that side of them physically

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Love...nothing wrong with you at all...my wife is very accepting and supportive...and sees all the fun in my being TG...but there are times when she just wants the guy she married...to look like the guy she married.!!!..No problem...it's about respecting each other's feelings.
Nikki. x

[MarleneGG]

You all may no him he goes by carroll in here

[Lisa Golightly]

...there are days that i like it and days i wish he wouldn't do it

I think an awful lot of cd's on this site would echo that sentiment... Somedays I like it, others I wish I didn't do it...

[Rachel Morley]

I am new and hubby is a cross dresser. we have been together for 8 years in sept. and there are days that i like it and days i wish he wouldn't do it. WHAT WRONG WITH ME?
Absolutely nothing at all. Here's a link to something my wife Marla GG wrote about just that. It's called "Now I Like It, Now I Don't - Understanding the Acceptance Pendulum" and it ended up being posted on the UK Beaumont Society's website. Here's the link. I'm absolutely certain you'll fiind this helpful.

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/wobs/pendulum.html

Take care
Angel

[Melanie R]

Marlene,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Most wives have their days when they only want their "man". My wife of 25 years and 10 months has known about Melanie for 25 years and 9 months. After all these years she is able to see beyond the clothing. I am her husband and her man regardless of what I am wearing.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Ellaine]

Hi Marlene I think the first thing is to stop beating yourself up. And that goes for both of you. There is no right and wrong, there is just whatever you two work out. Honesty and openness are essential, so tell him how you really feel. Love doesn't have to suffer if you can work together to give each other as much as you can.

Have a drink and talk nice, :)

Hugs Ellaine Very best wishes.

[ChristineRenee]

Hi. Love...nothing wrong with you at all...my wife is very accepting and supportive...and sees all the fun in my being TG...but there are times when she just wants the guy she married...to look like the guy she married.!!!..No problem...it's about respecting each other's feelings.
Nikki. xNikki's post here pretty much summed up our situation as well. There are times when my wife just wants to "see" her man...even if he is TG with a lot of woman inside of him. Your mixed feelings and emotions are completely normal and understandable. It isn't any easier to be married to someone who CD's...and especially if they are TG or TS....than it is for the CD,TG,TS person themself. As Nikki said...it is about respecting each other's feelings.

[Kate Simmons]

Same answer as Rebecca. Absolutely nothing wrong with you, Hon. Ericka Kay

[Kimberley]

Welcome Marlene.

First, there is NOTHING wrong with EITHER OF YOU!!!

Like most people the binary gender (male and female) is all you know or cared to know. Now you are faced with a challenge to that and of course it can be upsetting and in many ways. The best thing you can do is talk to your other half and let him/her know what you like and dont like, when and where. Negotiate acceptable boundaries for both of you. This is critical in my opinion.

You probably dont like surprises so maybe a phone call a half hour before you come home will help?

Just keep the lines of communication wide open both ways. We are generally sensitive people but we have also felt a lifetime of discrimination so we may not always be forthcoming in the beginning. Have patience and lots of love!

:hugs:
Kimberley

[dazzed]

Nothing dear.Iv been married to the same lady for 30 odd years.Some days we dont even like each other, most days we do.

[mskilmer]

Heck ... I cross dress and sometimes even I get tired of it! Life's too short ... just relax and try to enjoy it. Multi-faceted people are often the most interesting, I think.

[racquel]

Nothing wrong with you dear,and you are at the right place to ask questions.The gg's will be along shortly to discuss the issue and to probably invite you to their form where you may open up even more in a safe understanding environment.
Although I would love to give you a :hugs:

[Carroll]

Hello, now lets see if i did this correctly.
I am new and hubby is a cross dresser. we have been together for 8 years in sept. and there are days that i like it and days i wish he wouldn't do it
WHAT WRONG WITH ME.
MarleneCC

There is nothing wrong with you. Most GG's feel this way. As you read the post here you will find out some GG's make us CD's choice between them and cding and others that prefer to have a CD around all the time.

HAY WAIT...I AlREADY TOLD YOU THAT A WHILE AGO.....remember, we were in the car talking about it LOL

Yes ladies, MarleneGG is my wife, just bear with her as she learns the ropes around here!

Carroll

[Sage GG]

Welcome:wave:

What you are talking about is completely normal ( not my favorite word)things in life change. Love will make it all work out.

[Francine]

Absolutely nothing wrong.

And if you have "days where you like it".. you're more supportive than my wife, who knows Francine exist.. but has never her seen her and has no desire to.

Anyway, welcome to forum.

Francine

[Calliope]

[...] there are days that i like it and days i wish he wouldn't do it WHAT WRONG WITH ME.


I just picked up a copy of The Female Brain (by Louann Brizendine) and I read about M hormones imposing an inclination towards static emotion whereas F hormones impose emotional volatility, so maybe what you are experiencing is simply natural (under duress of accepting the new / unusual).

Feel better? Here's hoping so.

The good news is GGs are better multi-taskers than men - although, to be fair, Fourier (utopian socialist) deduced as much in the 1800s. Women probably deduced as much by 80 Million BC.

[Deanna2]

Nothing wrong with either of you.

Perhaps you should ask 'why' there are some occasions you don't like it. And there are occasions when your partner realises that you are not always comfortable with it and he shouldn't wear femme gear.

All partners have expectations of each other. What each wants doesn't always coincide with what the other wants at the same time.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Marlene
Everyone is different. I found MarlaGGs now I like it now I dont pretty helpful, but it didn't particularly apply to my own situation. I love the Crossdressing and once we'de established just where my partner was going with it, we were free to really enjoy the diversity etc that it brought to our relationship.
However, I too have days when I just want my partner to be the man I fell in love with, why shouldn't I. Im a woman and I like having my man dressed as a man and putting his arms around me and whispering in my ear, dya fancy going to bed. I like to see him in his boxers, his shirt and tie, his suits etc. I like him rolling over in bed and drawing close to me. I love to see him running up and down a football field playing with the lads, afterall thats how I met him and how I was first attracted.

My partner is a pretty thoughtful guy and I would say mostly considers my feelings but Ive noticed when he's dressed he is definitely less attentive of me, and more absorbed in the dressisng. Now Im not saying that he's being selfish, nor does he ignore me, infact quite the contrary I am involved all the way. But, there are days when I need his attentions to be focused on me and not on Jay, there are days when we need to look at other things like finances, kids, car MOTs, holidays, you know all the normal run of the mill things in life. There are also days when I want to take the kids out, or go do the shopping, or visit my mum, and I prefer to do these things with him not her. When he's Jay he wants to escape from all of that and enjoy who he is. I hope that doesn't sound too selfish, but in answer to your question, I dont think theres anything wrong with you at all, infact I'd say your pretty normal. There are only one or two GGs on here who's partners dress 24/7, most of us like the balance.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Karren H]

Doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you, Marlene... Your response to his crossdressing is just how you feel...and it appears that your torn between the two extremes.. at least for his sake you didn't swing all the way to rejection and I suspect that over time you and he can work this out.. Just takes time to get used to the fact that the man you married is a little different than you thought!

Love Karren

[kittypw GG]

I love the Crossdressing and once we'de established just where my partner was going with it, we were free to really enjoy the diversity etc that it brought to our relationship.

There are only one or two GGs on here who's partners dress 24/7, most of us like the balance.
Take care
BEVxxxx

I think that Bev has said it the best.

Fear is behind your confusion (and mine for that matter). It takes a lot of communication on both parts to get to a point where things balance out. It takes trust that you are both being honest about your feelings. Expect that your hubby's wish to crossdress will by far exceed your wish to participate but you don't have to give up all of your desires just to keep him happy. Keep the communication lines open. Remember it is a partnership and your common goal is to have mutual satisfaction. If that is not the goal then you are swimming against the current and you will most definately wear out and drown.

Your feelings are very normal. Your partner should be glad that you are even asking the question. It shows that you are trying and that is sometimes all it takes.

Welcome to the forum, you have much in common with many of us gg's. Hope to see you in the gg's private section of this universe. :hugs:

[cindyxdresser]

well does he dress everyday?i dont think you really should be expected to be in the mood to see him all feminised ,looking like a girl all of the time.You are and a good person for being openminded and accepting it all,and need to be as open with him as possible,let him know your thoughts and feelings about everything .i am single so i dont have to worry ,but i do to friends homes and i always tell them that i want to be feminine and always ask if it is ok first.you could ask him to let you know before doing it and explain how you dont always like it .He should care how you feel about everything,so you dont get mad.Both of you need to take into consideration of the others feelings and make it as enjoyable for both,and if you prefer that he dress masculine he should not dress up so you dont get upset.I had a girlfriend living with me once who i told ,she was ok with it ,even picked out outfits and did my hair and makeup,but i began doing it too much ,thinking only of myself,and she began having problems with it and soon didnt want me to do it ,eventually forbid me from doing it at all.I dont want to see this happen to you two.So talk with him and let him know your feelings,and if you want to dress him up then go all out