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View Full Version : Have We Always Been The Same Or Do We Evolve?



Clare
08-27-2006, 06:22 AM
Taken from another thread>>>

...I have only realized that I was TG since about 5 years ago...and yet I think now that I have probably been this way all of my life and just didn't realize it. I always thought that I was just a CD, but I also have known that I was in denial of Chrissie for many, many years. I guess you just finally get to a point after so many years that you just KNOW.Chrissie, you comments raise certain issues within me that I have always felt, accepted and igonored to varying degrees.

When I was younger back in my 20's, I thought I was just a periodic crossdresser who needed his 'fix'. I never knew why I had the 'need' to crossdress, but it just felt right. It was just a small secret part of my life that never interfered with my otherwise normal male lifestyle at the time.

During my early 30's, something changed. I began to recognise that my crossdressing was more than a passing activity. It suddenly became more serious - more frequent dressing for longer periods at a time and makeup became a very important aspect to the whole activity. Being able to 'present' as a woman became an obsession of sorts. At this time, I started to body shave regulary and wear panties and hose under my male clothing, but I still did not wear outer femme clothing as such. It was a period of rapid escalation in my crossdressing. I guess I had accepted that it was a part of me that would never go away.

Now, here I am in my 40's wearing androdgenous femme clothing in public and feeling totally comfortable in most situations. I have also learned to be receptive to my feminine traits and try to assimilate them in my life rather than reject them. Currently, the most important aspect for me is that I recognise that i'm more than just a crossdresser - I'm really transgender! (I know - lots of definitions for TG - but I'm in the spectrum somewhere!).

Looking back, I have evolved from an occassional crossdresser, to having limited acceptance, to full and open understanding of who I am as a TG person. Reading Chrissie's comments again, I wonder if I'll keep evolving to to the next level - as in TS? I don't think so as i've NEVER EVER had the feeling I am really a female within my soul. I'm certain that I've pretty much reached the plataue of my crossdressing lifestyle. The only thing left for me and my transgenderism is to come out to Family and friends and not be afraid to wear dresses and makeup in public as a normal everyday activity - which is my ultimate goal.

ChristineRenee
08-27-2006, 06:30 AM
Good post Clare. I wonder sometimes if I have "evolved" too or that I just have stopped the repression and denial that was so much a part of me for so long. I just know that Chrissie is a very significant and major part of the entire person that is me, and that I feel the need for her to be more and more an external part of the person that I am to everyone else.:happy:

GypsyKaren
08-27-2006, 06:36 AM
Hi Clare

Sounds to me like you have reached the ultimate plateau...self acceptance. Whether you go any further or not doesn't matter, the key is you're happy with yourself as is, and that's something not to many can say.

There's such a world of differance between knowing who you are and accepting who you are, to me that's the Holy Grail. I always knew I was a woman inside, but it wasn't until recently that I not only accepted it, I embraced it as well, and life has been good for me ever since. I wish you luck on whatever path you take, I'm sure it will be a good one for you.

Karen

Ms. Donna
08-27-2006, 10:28 AM
Now, here I am in my 40's wearing androdgenous femme clothing in public and feeling totally comfortable in most situations. I have also learned to be receptive to my feminine traits and try to assimilate them in my life rather than reject them. Currently, the most important aspect for me is that I recognise that i'm more than just a crossdresser - I'm really transgender! (I know - lots of definitions for TG - but I'm in the spectrum somewhere!).

You could be me - or any of us for that matter. My personal POV is that there is no thing as 'just a crossdresser'. We crossdress for a reason and that reason is tied to our transgender identity. All different degress to be sure, but at the core, we're all starting from pretty much the same place.



Looking back, I have evolved from an occassional crossdresser, to having limited acceptance, to full and open understanding of who I am as a TG person. Reading Chrissie's comments again, I wonder if I'll keep evolving to to the next level - as in TS?
Both Kimberley and I have discussed this here many times, and Karen has just stated it as well, "you have reached the ultimate plateau...self acceptance."

One does not evolve into a transsexual just as one does not become transgender. The whole thing is a discovery process. As you learn more about yourself, you continue to progress - to 'become' who you are supposed to be - until you reach that point that is who you are. The point at which you are comfortable is what is right for you. You need not try nor expect to 'go further'.

There is no reason to not live your life being true to yourself. You have taken a big step and an important one. I'm sure you'll be able continue on your journey.

Congrats Clare! :thumbsup:

Love & Stuff,
Donna



If you have found your place, that

AmberTG
08-27-2006, 12:59 PM
Not sure how to address this issue, that is exactly what I'm going through at this time, with the help of a very understanding therapist. Self acceptance is so hard when you've had low self esteem all your life because of this issue, and the cronic, clinical depression that goes with the self loathing. The small dose of anti-depressant that I take has made a world of difference in my life, I no longer feel the urge to drink and smoke pot to medicate myself against the self loathing, becides the fact that smoking pot always intensified the feelings of wanting to be a woman and the cross-dressing that went with it. Then there's the sexual fetish component of it which lowered my self esteem even more.....
Amber

Lisa Maren
08-27-2006, 10:56 PM
Ms. Donna,

I'm inclined to agree with you. It is a process of discovering our femininity, and I believe that's why we have the feeling of "being driven" to do it. It's probably why CDers end up inadvertently making their SOs uncomfortable when they begin to feel the need to do more. Deep down inside, we know that we won't be whole unless we can free up our femininity, express ourselves that way, and quit repressing ourselves. You can only be comfortable and happy with this life if you're being yourself. Anything else won't work.

Hugs,
Lisa

Kimberley
08-29-2006, 11:25 AM
Welcome to our world Clare! You definitely are not alone and both Donna and Karen have said everything I could have laid out here. Not much I could add.

There are more than a few of us in this place but we are in a minority.

:hugs:
Kimberley

Priscilla1018
08-29-2006, 11:41 AM
Hi Clare,

We all evolve all through life.At one time I thought I had a fetish for female underclothes,then I found I was a CD.From there,with much therapy I came to the realization that I was Transgender and now I know I am Transexual.Karen is so right about acceptance of yourself;the unbelievable happiness I find each day now that I am living my life as the woman I have always been is the best thing that ever happened to me.I don't know where this road will lead me but I know the next step is HRT.
Wishing you all the happiness in life.:rose2: