Shy Charlotte
12-18-2004, 12:05 PM
Hey Gals, I've been on hiatus from both CDing and our illustrious cite for a couple of months, so I just wanted to give a big hug to all the new gals that I may have missed since I've been gone, as well as a sloppy lipstick smeared kiss to all the older members as well.
Back to the gist of the thread. I just recently became involved with a friend that I've known for several years now (unfortunately she's married, but I imagine that would be a separate few threads all-together).
I haven't felt the urge to go about en femme for quite some time now, perhaps due to some reconcilliation of my two halves, or perhaps after fully accepting that I was a crossdresser much of the thrill evaporated, or perhaps a little of both. I often wonder if finding a woman that's willing to be my dress up doll has also taken alot of the desire out of the whole affair of crossdressing, in that I find it was often the clothing that did it for me, not necessarily becoming a woman (plus I think that the clothes look a hell of alot better on my girlfriends rather than on me).
Despite the fact that I'm no longer as big into the whole dressing aspect as I once was, I still nod my head to the fact that it was all that I could think about for roughly two decades, which pretty much marks me as a crossdresser. It's only recently, however, thanks to the wonderful people on this site and to alot of self-discovery, that I've finally realized that it's OK to be a crossdresser, and I'm alright with being one. So after my first week or so of dating my friend, we were a little toasty after going to a nice little Pasadena speaking lounge (which is West Coast speak for an upscale bar), and my friend asked me to tell her something about myself that no-one else knew. So without hesitation (maybe due to the Korean Soju we were humming from) I told her I was a crossdresser. I gave her a confident smile, lit up a cigarette, and just waited for the fireworks to start. Lo and behold, there was just a moment of silence, then she said "Oh really? I thought I sensed something. And I thought you were going to say that you've killed somebody before or something", and we laughed a healthy laugh. And that was that. No yelling and screaming, no tears and running away, no disgust and name calling, no kung-fu fighting on the veranda, just a quiet acceptance. I felt like a weight had been taken off of my shoulders, I knew that I had started a relationship right, without any guile or subterfuge. We were about as honest as an adulterous couple could be. Hmm, well, maybe not entirely honest.... My ex girlfriend did know as well (which violated the whole "tell me something no one else knows", but that seemed like a perfect opener to get this out into the open). Admittedly I ended up discussing with her later on that my ex knew about it, and we discussed fairly briefly how she dealt with it.
I wonder if things would have been different if A. I were better/worse looking, B. if she and I hadn't known each other for a long time previously, C. if sexuality came into issue, D. if I had lived somewhere else (rather than the Liberal Left Coast), E. If she had been a different kind of person (in which case she and I probably wouldn't have been friends first. For better or for worse, she and I have been going strong for about a month since, and it hasn't become an issue in the least. Plus the fact that she and I are both getting to be amateur make-up artists gives us even more to talk about.
Is what I'm with a married woman wrong? Um, yes. Is what I did on that night wrong? Most resoundingly no. I wonder how things would have been different with my first girlfriend if I'd have told her offhand, rather than letting her find out on her own and come to her own misguided conclusions. I think that sometimes we don't give our SO's enough credit, and they can be far more understanding than we could be in similar situations.
Ta ta for now
Back to the gist of the thread. I just recently became involved with a friend that I've known for several years now (unfortunately she's married, but I imagine that would be a separate few threads all-together).
I haven't felt the urge to go about en femme for quite some time now, perhaps due to some reconcilliation of my two halves, or perhaps after fully accepting that I was a crossdresser much of the thrill evaporated, or perhaps a little of both. I often wonder if finding a woman that's willing to be my dress up doll has also taken alot of the desire out of the whole affair of crossdressing, in that I find it was often the clothing that did it for me, not necessarily becoming a woman (plus I think that the clothes look a hell of alot better on my girlfriends rather than on me).
Despite the fact that I'm no longer as big into the whole dressing aspect as I once was, I still nod my head to the fact that it was all that I could think about for roughly two decades, which pretty much marks me as a crossdresser. It's only recently, however, thanks to the wonderful people on this site and to alot of self-discovery, that I've finally realized that it's OK to be a crossdresser, and I'm alright with being one. So after my first week or so of dating my friend, we were a little toasty after going to a nice little Pasadena speaking lounge (which is West Coast speak for an upscale bar), and my friend asked me to tell her something about myself that no-one else knew. So without hesitation (maybe due to the Korean Soju we were humming from) I told her I was a crossdresser. I gave her a confident smile, lit up a cigarette, and just waited for the fireworks to start. Lo and behold, there was just a moment of silence, then she said "Oh really? I thought I sensed something. And I thought you were going to say that you've killed somebody before or something", and we laughed a healthy laugh. And that was that. No yelling and screaming, no tears and running away, no disgust and name calling, no kung-fu fighting on the veranda, just a quiet acceptance. I felt like a weight had been taken off of my shoulders, I knew that I had started a relationship right, without any guile or subterfuge. We were about as honest as an adulterous couple could be. Hmm, well, maybe not entirely honest.... My ex girlfriend did know as well (which violated the whole "tell me something no one else knows", but that seemed like a perfect opener to get this out into the open). Admittedly I ended up discussing with her later on that my ex knew about it, and we discussed fairly briefly how she dealt with it.
I wonder if things would have been different if A. I were better/worse looking, B. if she and I hadn't known each other for a long time previously, C. if sexuality came into issue, D. if I had lived somewhere else (rather than the Liberal Left Coast), E. If she had been a different kind of person (in which case she and I probably wouldn't have been friends first. For better or for worse, she and I have been going strong for about a month since, and it hasn't become an issue in the least. Plus the fact that she and I are both getting to be amateur make-up artists gives us even more to talk about.
Is what I'm with a married woman wrong? Um, yes. Is what I did on that night wrong? Most resoundingly no. I wonder how things would have been different with my first girlfriend if I'd have told her offhand, rather than letting her find out on her own and come to her own misguided conclusions. I think that sometimes we don't give our SO's enough credit, and they can be far more understanding than we could be in similar situations.
Ta ta for now