to pass or not to pass that is question.

[sue ellan]

how many of you girls that go out enfem try to pass? or do you just go out enfem and enjoy yourself?

[Tracy_Victoria]

surely that one and the same, how can you not enjoy yourself if your out and people accept you in the role you present to them.

[Marla S]

For me it is neither.
As being a CD is a 24/7 thing for me and passing is out of scope, I don't try.
If I would be able to pass without tons of makeup and pads I probaly would really enjoy it and would be curious and eager to expereince this situation (no chance, so I have to live with it :sad: ).

"Substitutes" make me feel costumed and not fem, which brings me in trouble with wigs, because I don't find my male baldness very adequate and would need a wig, but I dont want to wear wig :sad:. Here I have a bit to learn and to decide, either the one way or the other.

On a every day basis, heavy styling is out of the scope too.

So I try to find the optimum of fem style and avoidance to get mocked, constantly trying to push the borders.

Here I see it as an big advantage that most woman dress casual for the every day business too. That makes it easy to "blend in".

The more elegant and feminine styles I leave for the closet or special occasions right now. But who knows what the future will bring.:D

[JoAnnDallas]

I don't really try to pass, I try to blend in and not be noticed. So I dress so that I don't stand out and that usually works for me.

[Kate Simmons]

I go out to enjoy myself enfemme as Ericka or en homme as Eric. Usually have fun either way. Ericka Kay

[Mia001]

Hi,

I only dress at home so I've never tried to pass. It's not really something I've thought about but, as I'm not into wigs and makeup anyway, I doubt I'd try to pass if I did go out.

Mark.

[gerdaberlin]

:rolleyes: trying to pass, mostly it works, with the help of sitting on and off the bike with a kiddie seat mounted on it, whenever a situation (especially young males) potentially could get bothersome!

[Emma England]

I put on makeup and wear ladies clothes.

So my efforts are definitely to attempt to pass.

However, I know that I do not though.

I still enjoy it whether I am read or not.

[Karren H]

Don't think that the two are mutually exclusive!! Yeah I try to pass but I have fun going out too. Else I wouldn't be doing this. Lol.

Another way to look at it is that I'm having fun trying to pass..but even when I don't pass....it doesn't bother me and I still have fun!!

Love Karren

[Emma England]

Karren, you would have fun in a graveyard :tongueout

[Nikki Dee]

Yeah...I try to pass...that's the fun for me...and the "buzz"..!!!...sometimes though I think it's more of a "I got away with it" feeling...now that is fun.!!
Nikki. x

[Charleen]

I dress en femme, and I don't worry about passing. I am subtle about it, and it appears that most can't make up their minds about me. Am I a butch girl, or an effeminate guy? Eiher way, I get along with the SAs. Went into Payless today looking for a type of boot I saw on-line, and the clerk was gracious, even asking me if I liked what I saw on-line. Alas, they did not have the style in stock, but she said that they were getting another shipment in tommorrow, and to please come in then. I've been called Sir and Ma'am within a half hour, and sometimes both at the same time as they to get a handle on how to address me. Most take me at face value and are nice. Try to pass? No, but if I do, it's a joy. Love and xxxx, Lily

[julie w]

I cant think of anything else I can do to improve my look when going out
I have a quality wig femme glasses work hard to stay slim and wear minimal makeup , long skirts , long earings I copy
women my age as best I can , I try to blend in and not get a second look
I think we have to face the fact that very few of us will pass a close look .

[Stephenie S]

I dress to look as nice as I can. That's about it. Pass as a GG? That would be nice too. But really, I just don't want to atract any attention. I just want to go about my life in peace and quiet. And. . . I want to look as nice as I can.

When I crawl out from under my truck all dirty from changing the muffler, I don't look as nice as I can. So I don't go out looking like that. When I arrive at the parts store to get one more muffler clamp that I forgot I don't look as nice as I can.

But when I go out, I want to look good. Pass? Probably not. Not to any real scrutiny. But I don't even want to be noticed. That's my goal.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Jenna1561]

When I dress, yes, I dress to pass, or at the very least go unnoticed. I think I do a reasonably good job of appearing as a woman.

Even when not "dressed" I wear quite a bit of women's clothes, light makeup and am growing my hair out. When like this I get quite a few "maam, oh um, err, may I help you?" from sales clerks.

So, yes I try to pass.


Jenna

[Sky]

how many of you girls that go out enfem try to pass? or do you just go out enfem and enjoy yourself?

I got another question for you (asking questions is sooooo much easier than providing answers!): what is "to pass"?

In my own book, to pass is associated with close inspection. If you can stand in front of a person looking directly at you (like a salesperson or a guy talking to you in a bar) and he/she still thinks you're a woman, congrats, you passed. And note this is not just a matter of looks and makeup -a bad body posture, guy-like waving of your hands, your voice obviously, all that can sell you in a split second even if your face was perfectly done in a beauty parlor.

On the other hand, if you are walking down the street, in a mall or in a bar, going unnoticed is what I call "to blend in". If you walk like a woman you are halfway there already, but a discreet outfit, a well done face and a bit of confidence don't hurt.

According to these (admittedly arbitrary) definitions, very, very few cds really pass. I had known one or two, and they were professional performers. Blending in is not that difficult, and yes, I always tried to blend in. (as you can see in my other posts, ageing has put a dent on my ability to achieve that and that drives me maddd !!!!)

[Ashley Helen]

If I could dress up as a female
I’m sure I would never pass
With my mini, high heels and a cleavage
And, I’m told, a pretty good ass
If I could dress up as a female
I really could take the part
Not a sweet demure little woman
But an overweight 50 plus tart

Love

Helen xx

[Jenna1561]

Sky,

According to your definitions, I mostly try to blend in. My fem voice is unpracticed and is usually what gives me away.

I was in a Best Buy a short while back, purchasing some speakers. I was at the checkout when the young lady at the register was being friendly and polite and engaging me in a light conversation. I was doing reasonably well with short one word answers, when she asked a question about who I was buying the speakers for. I responded with a statement about them being a gift for my son's birthday. About halfway through the sentence she did a double take, looking me up and down real quick then completing the transaction as though nothing were out of the ordinary. She was pleasant and professional. As I was leaving, she paid no extra attention to me and started chatting with the next customer in line.

My voice is my give-away, but otherwise, I blend in "most" of the time.


Jenna

[Bev06 GG]

surely that one and the same, how can you not enjoy yourself if your out and people accept you in the role you present to them.

Actually Tracy you can. My partner and several of my CD friends know that they'd never pass, yet they thoroughly enjoy their dressing and going out socially. Perhaps thats why they enjoy it so much because they dont really give a damn about what others think. They are totally comfortable with who they are, what they are, and what they look like regardless of other peoples opinions. I think if there is too much emphasis placed on whether or not you pass, your always going to be striving for the near impossible and never quite feeling totally comfortable with yourself. Afterall, you only have to have a bad hair day, or the makeup hasn't quite worked and people are staring at you so they must have read you and etc etc etc. I think that a totally chilled out CD whos at ease with himself is much more free to enjoy his dressing and have a good time.. Well thats my thoughts on it anyhow.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[vbcdgrl]

When I go out, I make every effort to be passable. Wig, makeup, painted nails. i've been going out to TG friendly clubs for quite a while now, but I think it's time to come out into the real world.
So, today, I decided to make it an all femme day. That includes the morning routine, doing the femme stuff (except the shaving part). Got dressed ( white cotton top, stretch denim pants, heels), then went out. Went to 2 bank ATMs, the post office, and gas station. Oh yeah, paid a utility bill by dropping the envelope in a slot at City Hall. At all of these places, there were quite a few people around. No one, M or F, paid any undo attention to me. The gas station was especially crowded, 'cause it has the best prices in town. Several people looked right at me as I stood by the car pumping gas. This boosted my confidence quite a bit.
My next bold move will be to hit the mall. Gonna wait a couple weeks 'till school starts, and go during school hours.

Vikki

[Sky]

She was pleasant and professional. As I was leaving, she paid no extra attention to me and started chatting with the next customer in line.

Jenna, I'm glad that salesperson was nice. The vast majority are. In my case, I learned a long time ago that some salespeople are nice by nature, some because they are professional and some because they really want to support you -I was once waiting in line to get a ticket at a sports arena, packed with guys, and the lady in the ticket booth went the extra mile to be nice, not because she didn't read me but because she wanted to make me feel comfortable. But every now and then you meet the proverbial jerk.

[gennee]

I try to look my best when I'm out but passing is not that important to me. Being out and about is the thrill for me.

Gennee

:Party2:

[Phoebe Reece]

I always try to look my femme best when I am going out as Phoebe. Sometimes I pass and sometimes not. It doesn't really matter. I have a good time either way. In fact, I probably have had more fun in situations where I did NOT pass. It is a great ice breaker with some groups of GG's in bars and restaurants. I sometimes get compliments that I probably wouldn't have gotten if I had not been read as a CD. Many sales people in stores will talk with you about it and be extra friendly if you are open and comfortable with yourself. It is fun to see the reaction when you smile and give a little wave to a group of teenage girls that are giggling at you from across the mall. You need to maintain a sense of humor about crossdressing if you are going to have a good time while out.

[Jennaie]

I'm sorry, what was the question?, Oh, passing. Well, although I am by far in the minority here, I don't get in the car unless I think I'm going to pass. Don't ask why, it's just the way it is for me.

[Jodi]

Passing? No. To be presentable? Yes. When I go out, I go the extra yard to dress as a gg would dress for that venue. When I feel presentable and confident, I don't worry a bit. I have been in situations where I have interacted with gg's face to face. Sometimes, I will get the smile of recognition, but not a problem. It is how you act that counts. When out and about, I consider myself an actor (actress) on stage. Everything counts on playing the part.

Jodi

[Teresa Amina]

To see how well I "passed" was one objective of my day out Saturday. Why? Just had to see how well I would do. Fairly well to judge from the comments of the others at the TG gathering I went to, and they should know I think. But going to the mall the same day was a good test, and nothing "funny" happened to make me think I was too obvious. And it was fun as well!

[Christina Nicole]

I know a GG who coaches TS ladies and serious CD ladies on femininity. She said that she goes out with her clients and follows them at a little distance to see if they get read. Often the ones who claim that they pass well get read, but don't notice the looks they get from others. Some people just are not attuned to others.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[joanlynn28]

I don't know answer this question when I give my debit card to the cashier and they say thank you sir, but when they look at me and than say thank your maam, what do you think? I'll pass on that.:heehee:

[Caitlintgsd]

Passing? Yea. Just like John Lithgow in "The World According to Garp". I just try my best and to h*ll with the teeming millions in the world who don't understand.

[Nancie64]

I love to go and have a couple of times, but I always get the feeling that the whole world is looking at me. I have a tripped planned to Vegas in a few weeks and will take all the advice I can get. My wife insists that I will be going out LaFemme when we are in Vegas. The last time we were there I went and had a makeover, I was amazed, but only went to one store, couldn't get my confidence up to hit the casinos. If someone would clue me in on how to put a picture in here I would be open for suggestions. I have it on a 31/2" floppy.:happy:

[rexy]

YES BEV YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE IT RIGHT. WHO HAS TO PASS JUST TO ENJOY BEING OUT ENFEMME. I MYSELF LOVE BEING "OUT" AND REALLY DO NOT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK, AS LONG AS I ACT LIKE A LADY.:thumbsup:

[Billie Renee]

I don't really try to pass but then I just want to be myself and be comfortable.I do wear make-up and try to dress nice and look my best but if I get read oh well I'm just being myself. love to all Billie Renee:rolleyes:

[USNguyNskirt]

This was something posted by someone else in another topic and I thought it was relevant as was my response, so I decided to repost it in here as it made more sense.Hope it makes sense.



To bring this together, we have to work hard to make the public used to see feminine dressed man and CDs in general (acceptance comes later).
This way the one side is able to dress more often and the other side is able to recognize them where ever they go, as I guess there are CDs where ever you go.
Might be easier to achieve if we don't go for the full dressing program at first, but to blend in single but obviously and visible fem items in our drab mode.



AS much as I hate to say it, you are totally right and this is ONE of the many reasons I dont wear a wig or makeup. Crossdressers were around WAAAAY before transgendered people could at least become "totally transgendered", yet they have MORE rights and have come MUCH farther than CD's. The reason I feel for this is because alot of CD's are in the closet, not vocal, or they "blend in with society. So they don't truly "exist" to society.BEsides if you are 6'4" and 300 LBs you really arent gonna blend in or "pass" that well anyways, so why even try?!?!? Im only 5'7" and 160 but I am definitely a guy in a skirt and that is EXACTLY how I portray myself, not only because thats how I am comfortable, but becasue it also helps others and maybe even myself in the future

[JenniferPaul]

At home I do what I can, perfecting make up etc. to pass when I do go out. Once I am out en femme I do not worry about it and just have fun and act as though I am feminine and I am ok and the world likes and accepts me as I am. Passing is mostly attidude. Play the role well and people will play along with the play.

Jennifer

[Melinda G]

I try to pass, and do, because I don't want to look like one of the Budweiser boys. I don't want people to say, "Hey look at that guy wearing a dress and high heels". My voice would give me away, but I don't talk to anyone when I'm out walking down the street, or window shopping.