We Are Our Own Worst Enemy

[Sandygal]

Try to explain this. For 30 years I have bought clothes for my wife on Christmas, birthdays and anniversery's I never thought twice about shopping for womans items. Now that I want to buy things for myself. I get totally nervous and hesitent about shopping. I think we become our own worst enemys. Maybe I need to go into the store with the mentality that I'm shopping for someone else and it will get easy again. Are any of you having the same thing happen?

[Wendy me]

oh dear Sandy silly you when you send out "HIM" to go shopping for fem things "HE" is shopping for someone else...."HE" is shopping for Sandy....problme solved....

[Charleen]

You answered your own question didn't you? What's fun is when you go shopping for you. After the initial nervousness, it's a dream! Bought myself some new nail polish today and spent about a half hour browsing the racks. Love and xxxx, Lily

[Janelle Young]

Wendy makes a very good point, one it took me awhile to realize. I too would get nervous when shopping until I got the mind set that I was buying things for Janelle. Janelle is female so it was right to get her female things.

[Bernadina]

I agree with everyone else. Whe I shop in male mode I'm shopping for her not him. I sometimes even ask if it doesn't fit her can it be brought back?

[ChristineRenee]

oh dear Sandy silly you when you send out "HIM" to go shopping for fem things "HE" is shopping for someone else...."HE" is shopping for Sandy....problme solved....Spot on sis!;)

[laurie_f_ca]

Perhaps this is a little off the intended thread, but here goes anyways.
Several years ago I was shopping for a pretty nightie. After I had made my choice, a disaproving sales clerk snidely asked me "Is this for you"?
"Yes", I said, It's definately for me, but my wife is going to wear it, I hope... Do you have an issue with that?"
The sales clerk was somewaht taken aback, obviously embaresed, and promptly pkg'd up my purchased for me. I left without fruther ado.
Sometimes I think it is the mood that we are in when shopping that more effects our relationships with the clerks, and what we buy. Look confident, be confident, and usallly there is not problem.

[Karren H]

NOPE!! Doesn't bother me one bit to shop for Karren's fem clothing when I'm in male mode...

Like you implied...its in our heads that this isn't right!! so just toss that notion aside and everything changes..

Love Karren

[KarenSusan]

I'll have to remember that, Laurie. That was a great comeback.

[Jennaie]

I once walked up to a cosmetic counter in dillards and the SA ask how she could help me. I told her that I was a student at Litte Miss Vera'a school for boy's who want to be girls and that next week was dress-up week. Long story short, we had fun and she loved helping me.

Once I was in JC Pennys looking at panties, the SA came up and ask if she could help, I told her what I was looking for and she helped me find them. She then ask What size? I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I wear a 5", she smiled and ask me how I managed to stay so slender. We spent the next 15 min talking about diet and excersize.

It does not have to be for anyone but you, and if your up front with the SA, they will usually tell you what days they work and to please ask for them next time you visit.

[Kimmie W]

I absolutely agree that we have the right to buy whatever makes us happy. It took me a while to lose the shame I felt when buying feminine things for myself, but once I did WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

[angelfire]

I realised the same point. Buying for someone else I feel no embarassment or shame. Buying for myself on the otherhand is a different story. I always feel embarassed when buying for myself. Even when I try to convince myself there is another reason to be buying it.

I do audio and video, and a pair of nylons can be used as light diffusers, and we were told so by our teacher that we should buy some for it. So when buying for that purpose I am fine. When buying for myself, I feel totally different, even if I try to convince myself it is for the same reason.

[Sandygal]

Angel...thats exactly the point I was trying to make.

[angelfire]

Yea. I try to psyche myself out, and in the end, ti just never works when I know its for me to wear. Guess its harder to trick yourself then you'd think.

[Sandygal]

I know how you feel Angel...Thank goodness Holloween is on the way. We have a ready made excuse when shopping. I'm making a costume. I will stop at a couple of Goodwills and find enough to keep me happy for awhile. I'm going to try some of the other gurls advice and pretend I'm shopping for Sandy and see how that works. It sounds too simple. TaTa..Sandy

[angelfire]

I have tried thinking of excuses. Shopping for a girlfriend, the light diffusers were probably the two best. I've done the 'buying a card' with it trick too. The 'shopping for a girlfriend' worked the one time I was asked. Since, I have just decided its easier to not say anything at all and just buy, and not mention anything. I used the light diffusers excuse once, and I am pretty sure the cashier didn't buy it.

But I definitely wanna get some stuff while halloween is around, cause no one is gunna question it.

[Sandygal]

And Christmas is next, love the Holidays. Lets see, one gift for you, two for me. One gift for me, awww, who am I kiding, all gifts for me. I'm going shopping for Sandy. The more I write, the braver I feel. TaTa Sandy

[Claire I]

At first I always had an excuse ready. Kind of difficult to think of a good one when you are buying a bra, or a body briefer, or false eyelashes. :happy:

I know it's tough, my heart used to pound. The important thing is to carry on like what you are doing is the most important thing in the world.

Oh, and go somewhere where no one will recognize you.

Finaly, keep doing it, it gets easier, and as a bonus you get a lot of femme chothing. :D

Claire

[Melinda G]

I think when we buy for ourselves, a certain guilt, or "do they know it's for me" feeling kicks in. Also men do not usually buy things like bras, pantyhose, high heels, and makeup for their wives and girlfriends. It's usually just lingerie.

[angelfire]

High heels is possible though as a gift.

[Bobbie cd]

Sometimes I still get wierded out buying femme clothing, but can usually get past it. Tonight I stopped at Wal-Mart and Kohl's (on the way to Lowes for some paving stones, but that's another tale entirely - LOL). Bottom line (pun intended), I bought several pairs of very nice panties at both stores, nobody blinked an eye and the cashiers at both stores rang the purchases up without any hesitation. I did get kind of nervous browsing through the panties at Wal-Mart, but I managed to put that aside, I wanted them more than I feared being stared at!

(Is there anything better than new panties? :D )

[debbie m]

When I first started shopping I would get nervous and hesitent but over time you become more confident and care less what someone else thinks.

[AmberTG]

At the local Walmart where I shop sometimes, half the people there know me and know I'm married so it's never a problem, also, I always shop in the evening when it's less busy. Funny thing, I've been stared at by people in the undies section even when it was obvious that I was with my wife because we were talking about something she was looking at. (She likes new undies too, imagine that:heehee: ) I guess some people are just wierd about guys in the woman's undies section, I'd bet it's their little problem, not mine. (Of course, it could be because she's 20 years younger then me, also, who knows)
I did get asked by a cashier one time (at a different store) if the sports bra I was buying was for me. I think she was joking, but she got me by suprise and I just didn't have a good comeback for her. I was embarassed, but I lived through it.
Amber

[Sarah cd]

I did feel nervous shopping for Sarah but then it wore off and i thought what the heck i must just get on with it and enjoy until one day i went into my reguler shop and found out one of my neighbours was at the till:eek: I had to make out the clothes are a presant for my wife who is a different size to me i think she must of guessed and i have never been back so i have to get my wife to buy for me the neves are back.

[Lisa Golightly]

The only time I felt nervous was when I was 16 and had saved up enough money to buy two complete outfits including shoes... Problem was I bought everything in the same M&S store at the same time so I arrived at the checkout with a mountain of clothes and shoes... Well two of everything including underwear. The sales assistant just looked at me as I kinda went very red.... Ah the innocence of youth. Still, kinda made everything seem small potatoes after that. ;)

[Erica007]

I used to get embarressed when shopping in the ladies section when I first started doing it. But once I had done it a few times and realised no body was taking any notice of me it became easy. Now I just walk stright into the stores and browse around all I want. Some times I think it's the women who get embarressed at me seeing what they are looking at, I have had ladies walk away to another section and come back to where they were when I have left. I have had young SA when I am paying for the items I have picked say " nice choice, somebody is very lucky" I just agree with them and think to myself, yes I am lucky.