Photo paranoia anyone?

[Julie York]

I'm just curious. If most of you (I assume) haven't come out in the 'real' world, aren't you worried someone might see your photo on your website or whatever and know who you are?
I would be.
And yes I know you will say "What were they doing on that website?" but they could be CD or Cd admirers. Either way there's no reason why they wouldn't blab if they weren't exposed themselves..

[KayleighTV_UK]

I think i know what your saying here..

I work for a 'very' high profile company, am always at rather large shows all over the uk (i work in the peformance motor trade, parts manafacture) and am known by a LOT of people.. im seen at a 4 day show by .. well, thousands...

Now i know what you mean.. one of those people may know who i am from my pics, might have come across me somewhere.. or could even be someone from here?? or a chat room???

The problem is, you never know..

Dosent really scare me though, i am what i am.. i dont really care what anyone else thinks about me, does not stop me doing my job, or make me any different!

But yes, i do understand...

[Wendy me]

hell for a long time i was scared to know who i was let alone anyone else
but yes some would bouther me for shure....some not

[MonaSmith]

I have been pretty specific about the things in my profile. My location, birthday, where I work and the photo would make it possible to be found out by work colleagues or friends, but I don't think that it will happen. I will out myself sooner or later anyway so it is just the first step in an ongoing process.

I also wouldn't feel too comfortable not showing/telling the truth on this forum, as that is the whole reason for me to be here. This is the one place, at the moment, where I don't have to hide my true self.

[Chrissycd]

my picture about three months ago, I'll admit that it concerned me, but it was more liberating than anything I've done in years, and now, I couldn't care less if somebody "important" found out. If their minds are too small to accept me for who I am, they can go jump in a lake. I've got a life to live, honey!
:)
Chrissy

[Julie York]

Thanks for the replies. I am not alone then. (Ha!)
Just to wobble this thread a little, I have noticed as a newcomer that there seems to be a syndrome I call 'self outing'. You can start a new thread if it gets interesting. Like for example posting a thousand pictures of yourself on the internet, is half a glance at self outing..
But here I have noticed a tendancy for 'girls' to leave themselves wide open to being found out and then seem surprised and scared at someone reacting.
Just to parody it a bit (forgive me I am doing it with the right spirit..)
"I went out with my men pals last night and someone noticed I was wearing nail varnish on my toes........two inch nail extensions and stockings and suspenders under my tight lycra ballet dress. I think they suspect I am a CD! oh GOD! What will I do? Shall I come clean?"etc etc etc

[MonaSmith]

Yep, that's me, not the sussies obviously, but the nail thing for sure. I guess it's a little attempt at pushing the envelope? I find it's fun to mess with people a wee bit, but of course it could well rebound back on you.

Though maybe it's also a kind of attempt at slowly coming out? Like if they work it out for themselves it might not seem so bizarre when one finally comes clean oneself?

I dunno, I'm babbling now, why shouldn't I have pretty nails anyway?!? :p
Yup, I'm getting like that too. It has come to the point where any more changes that I make to myself are going to show more and more in my drab persona. It's like coming out in steps. It is now easy to deflect/explain the inquiries about my nails and I have now started saying, to anyone who will listen to me, that I am thinking of getting my beard lasered off because I hate having to shave for work everyday. So if and when I do it, none of my friends will be surprised. A pre-emptive strike if you will.

[MonaSmith]

It would seem that Mona and myself have the same conniving minds! ;) I prefer to think of it as forward thinking, lol. It seems that we were born within a couple of weeks of each other, maybe there is something to this astrology stuff after all!

[Julie York]

Is it just me seeing this or what? Look at this way..(But put your male head on to see it clearly and forget you know the complexity of CD TV TS etc. You're a big hairy bloke right? Der, I'll have a beer. )

One of your male friends, who you've knocked about with for years, drinking, womanising, going to footbal matches etc, starts to grow his fingernails, neh he even comes out to THE PUB! with women's false nails, then next week you notice this rugged chap you knew has plucked his eyebrows....and THEN your beer swilling chap buddy mate (who now has girls eyebrows , girls hands and seems to be favouring floaty shirts) says he want to have his beard lasored?

I'm surprised your ears haven't been burned off with all the speculation about you amongst your friends. They're probably waiting for you to announce you are GAY! Because...I mean....(belch, have another beer)...what else can it be?

(Again, this is all meant in the right spirit.)

[Amelie]

Very good question Julie York. I don't have anyone to hid from. I don't really know that many people and the ones I do know, have seen Amelie. I did put a picture up for the opposite reasons. I am looking for old friends I had in NYC. So I posted pics, hoping some of them would recognise me. I have also done this on other sites, but I can not find them, they are drifters and are tough to find.
I think some here might be trying to out themselves gently. Instead of coming right out, a picture is placed here where someone they know can see them. Then they will be out, without making the first step. This is only my theory.

Mona this is very smart, the pre-emptive strike.
I had a friend when I was a teen. he told me the same thing. He said act crazy and bizzare now, so when you get older and want to do something out of the ordinary, people will think it is because you are already strange. It won't be much of a shock to people, they'll just put it down as part of you're being strange. I have lived my life on this theory and it works just fine. if I do anything people don't like, they say, it's just Amelie being strange again.
It's best to start this while young.
Amelie

[Fiona K]

INteresting thread Julie,
I have just plucked up the courage to post an avatar that is me, I guess all the get outs that have been mentioned regarding peiple finding out have been going through my mind.

Also the nails hair etc, well i'm a bit older and will have been married for 20 years in March so laser may be out, still I'm holding my own on the shaving front! My wife has always known I hate body hair, unfortunatly it is only recently she has found out what is behind it, at least in part.

As for self-outing I hope not, she knows now and that has been traumatic enough, the photo is more an indication of how comfortable when I am en-femme and here on this site with so many friends.

Fiona
XX

[MonaSmith]

One of your male friends, who you've knocked about with for years, drinking, womanising, going to footbal matches etc, starts to grow his fingernails, neh he even comes out to THE PUB! with women's false nails, then next week you notice this rugged chap you knew has plucked his eyebrows....and THEN your beer swilling chap buddy mate (who now has girls eyebrows , girls hands and seems to be favouring floaty shirts) says he want to have his beard lasored?

I'm surprised your ears haven't been burned off with all the speculation about you amongst your friends. They're probably waiting for you to announce you are GAY! Because...I mean....(belch, have another beer)...what else can it be?

(Again, this is all meant in the right spirit.) Lol, Julie, I never thought of it like that.
The thing with me is, I have never been a part of the drinking culture, as I have never drunk alcohol, and most of my friends don't follow football or any of that stuff. You have to be forward thinking about these things and make sure you break them in gently. I'm sure a few of my friends think I'm a bit 'fruity', lol, but most of them have known me long enough not to care either way. One of my friends and I even flirt quite a bit, all in fun of course. I think that if I did come out, to my friends at least, I wouldn't lose most of them. Maybe a couple of the more macho ones, but not the ones who genuinely love me for who I am.

[Amelie]

Fiona,,Fiona,,,Fiona, You are so beautiful. I really love your new avatar.
I know for you this was a big step. I am so glad to meet, Pretty Fiona.
Love Amelie

[Fiona K]

Oh Amelie!
I am really blushing now!!
Love
Fiona :o

[SilkenPrincess]

[QUOTE=Amelie]Fiona,,Fiona,,,Fiona, You are so beautiful.
I agree with Amelie!
Love,
SilkenPrincess

[MonaSmith]

I have always been of the attitude that if two people are into each other, then whatever they get up to together is completely cool, and no-one elses business. Be that two guys, two girls, a guy and a girl, a guy and a TS, or whatever.
Whenever the question of my sexuality comes up all my friends know (as I have been teling them for years) that I fall in love with a person, not a gender. I have fallen in love with both men and women in the past and see no reason to try and restrict my emotions any more than I already do.

[Sweet Susan]

This is easily one of the more interesting threads I've seen, yet. And there have been some good ones. The exposure threat is real. I've been outed, and it cost me my job. Fortunately, it didn't go any farther than my supervisor, and I have no idea who gave him the pictures, but they were taken off of the internet. He wouldn't tell me who gave them to him, and I've since not heard anything about it, but I did lose my job because of the pictures. I've since been very careful about releasing photos.

[Julie York]

This is getting interesting.
I have been running through a few things in my head and I sort of worked out I could tell pretty much all my genuine close friends who I have known for years and they wouldnt have a problem (other than pain from laughing). I mean, everyone has a kink here and there, bondage, shoes, feet, breasts, etc etc and so I could just say, well I have a 'thing' about womens clothes. as long as you don't want to go and embarrass them by doing it in public, it would be o.k. with them.
Your situation is almost the other way round. You're flashing signals a mile high and yet daren't speak the words.

I just saw a picture of your nails Mona on the other thread. What do your friends and work colleges think you are if not a CD? Eddie Izzards greatest fan?
LOL.

Great nails too.

[Julie York]

And a quick Och Aye to Fiona . Woohooooo!

Now see that's what I want to look like.

[MonaSmith]

I just saw a picture of your nails Mona on the other thread. What do your friends and work colleges think you are if not a CD? Eddie Izzards greatest fan?
LOL.Lol, I don't know what they think. They have never said anything to my face, and working for the government, if anyone had a problem with it they would be the ones facing the sack, thanks to the equal opportunities legislation. I always just say that I like them like that and that is usually the end of it.

Thanks for the compliment, Julie.

[Julie York]

Anyway, I couldn't care less if anyone thinks I'm "gay". It's not a concept I subscribe to, as my mates are well aware of.

I have always been of the attitude that if two people are into each other, then whatever they get up to together is completely cool, and no-one elses business. Be that two guys, two girls, a guy and a girl, a guy and a TS, or whatever. (UNQUOTE ALLISON)

Yeah I agree. I was only using the gay thing as a cliche reference.

(Wow this gets better? So it's not only O.K. for me to wear womens clothes and get an erotic thrill...I can find cross dressers a turn on too? oooooh.! You mean I'm not a raging pervert after all? ) But anyway let's not mess up this thread. It's a good one.

[Fiona K]

And a quick Och Aye to Fiona . Woohooooo!

Now see that's what I want to look like.

Blush! Thanks Julie,
Fiona
xx

[genevieve_ohara]

Fiona, you are stunning!

Great hair, great makeup, Fabulous look!

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Love

G

[Julie York]

O.K. went too far. OOps. I was just kidding around.

[Amelie]

I'm just curious. If most of you (I assume) haven't come out in the 'real' world, aren't you worried someone might see your photo on your website or whatever and know who you are?
I would be.
And yes I know you will say "What were they doing on that website?" but they could be CD or Cd admirers. Either way there's no reason why they wouldn't blab if they weren't exposed themselves..

They might not just be admirers. They could be blackmailers. Think about it. If someone with ill intent on his brain, would probably go to this site, gays sites, fetish sites looking for someone he recognises. He might get lucky and find someone, someone who is in the closet. He might not get be able to get anything with the blackmail, but he would "blab" the victims secret to others.
There are people out there with evil on the mind, they can very easily be here. Cds who are in the closet should be cautious.
Amelie

[christine55]

Your posting a "alias" avatar was certainly not due to any nervousness about not being pretty enough. Fiona, you are gorgeous.
Hugs, Christine

[MonaSmith]

They might not just be admirers. They could be blackmailers. Think about it. If someone with ill intent on his brain, would probably go to this site, gays sites, fetish sites looking for someone he recognises. He might get lucky and find someone, someone who is in the closet. He might not get be able to get anything with the blackmail, but he would "blab" the victims secret to others.
There are people out there with evil on the mind, they can very easily be here. Cds who are in the closet should be cautious.
AmelieI think that the chances of anyone I know finding this site, out of the millions that exist, are quite remote. Heck, I only found it a few weeks ago and I AM a crossdresser! Not only that but unless someone was looking for me specifically, it is unlikely that they would be arsed to go through all the crossdressing sites and all the personal profiles on those sites just to find little old me.
I think that it is fairly safe, and anyway, if the worst came to the worst I would be outed, and then I could get on with my life withthe fear of being outed gone from my life. I'd rather do it on my terms, but if that's not an option, I'd deal with it, and anyway now I know where I could go for support should it ever happen that way. I'd burden all you ladies with my angst,lol.

[Amelie]

I know the chances are slim to none, but like the title of this thread says "Paranoid". There are some Cds here very fearful of being outed.
If these bad guys are like me, they will have lots of time on there hands. They can google any type of site they want, and just lurk when they find some. I know this would be extremely rare, but it can be possible, especially when people put pics and there profiles tell of their jobs and where they live. This makes it a little easier for the bad guy to zero in. But still it would be rare that someone can be found out this way.
Also, if they found someone from their area, they can join the forum to gather more info on the CD, through PMing.
Amelie

PS-Did I mention that I am paranoid myself.

[MonaSmith]

PS-Did I mention that I am paranoid myself.
Well, you don't sound it, lol.

I do understand that the risk is there, and that there are a lot of nasty people out there just waiting to take advantage of us (?), and I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly a few months ago. But I have come to a point where it matters to me less and less, as the two parts of me become more integrated together. If I am going to get to where I want to be sooner or later it will come out. Now, I prefer it to be later but if not, C'est la vie.

Life is risk, you just have to know how far past your limits you can comfortably push. Right now I want to push (albeit slowly).

And anyway I don't need to be paranoid anymore, now that I have my tinfoil hat. :D

[Amelie]

And anyway I don't need to be paranoid anymore, now that I have my tinfoil hat. :D[/QUOTE]

HA,,Lol
Amelie

[Sweet Susan]

Whoa! Check out that Fiona K! Wow! Between her and Mona, I'm thinking those UK gals know something we don't.

[MonaSmith]

Whoa! Check out that Fiona K! Wow! Between her and Mona, I'm thinking those UK gals know something we don't.
As ever you are too sweet, Susan.

Thank you.

I put it down to a poor diet and miserable weather, it gives you an inner glow, lol.

[Tristen Cox]

I'm not worried that anyone will see me here, plain and simple. If they do oh well I've spent too long hiding and afraid about someone seeing me dressed the way I love to be.

Fiona stop blushing so much!:p You know you're beautiful, accept it! :D

Love
T

[Vickie-CD]

I hope old friends I have lost touch with does see my picture, maybe they will contact me.
Vickie

[SatinSarah]

Great thread - because you are so right. We are a contradiction, but that is the thrill perhaps. I haven't come out (other than my wife) and I would love to feel good enough to go out dressed and pass. But I don't. So this is the next best thing - safe amongst other CDers who won't laugh (indeed so supportive). The chances of being spotted by a non CDer who may be passing this site must be pretty remote, so I take the risk in the knowledge that this forum is so nice when I am feeling girly just to browse or post. I actually enjoy taking photos and trying to get my look right, so it would be a shame not to share!

[SatinSarah]

You look great Fiona. You have the perfect look and without needing too much make-up. I am jealous if this is your first picture and post with a new avitar. More please if you are this gorgeous.

[Wendy me]

thay can see in here?????????every one has something to hide or show

[Fiona K]

Fiona, you are stunning!

Great hair, great makeup, Fabulous look!

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Love

G

Thank you Genevieve,
Still need to work on the make-up though, can't get the eyes right
Love
Fiona

[Fiona K]

I think that the chances of anyone I know finding this site, out of the millions that exist, are quite remote. Heck, I only found it a few weeks ago and I AM a crossdresser! Not only that but unless someone was looking for me specifically, it is unlikely that they would be arsed to go through all the crossdressing sites and all the personal profiles on those sites just to find little old me.
I think that it is fairly safe, and anyway, if the worst came to the worst I would be outed, and then I could get on with my life withthe fear of being outed gone from my life. I'd rather do it on my terms, but if that's not an option, I'd deal with it, and anyway now I know where I could go for support should it ever happen that way. I'd burden all you ladies with my angst,lol.

I know what you mean Mona,
I only found this site a few months ago
The chances fo finding a "target" must be tiny
Fiona

[Fiona K]

Christine, Susan, Sarah
You're really too kind, thank you. I have never had so many complements, you have all given a slightly nervous girl a big lift, thank you.

As for the looks Susan, I'm with Mona on the explanation, that and a particular lack of Sun in Scotland, even in the summer.

The great Billy Connoly put it best: "The Scots aren't white, we're pale blue, it takes 2 weeks in the Summer in Benidorm (in Southern Spain)to get to white"

love to all
Fiona

[Jeanette H]

The only person I'm really worried about being "found out" by is my mother, and I can't quite see her surfing the internet for tranny sites. Also, how recognisable are we when dressed? A few weeks ago I showed pictures of myself en femme to a therapist I'm seeing, and his first reaction was sheer surprise: "You look really different!" Bear in mind that not only do we know what our drab selves look like, but we have a practised eye for wigs, makeup, and other elements of disguise. It's not that easy for the average person to see through them.

[Sharon]

Fiona,
I complemented your new avatar in another thread a day or two ago, but just in case it got missed -- it's stunning! Congratulations!

I'm not too worried about being "caught" here. I've come to the point where, although I don't intend on coming out to any more people, I'm not going to deny it if discovered. Realistically though, I would be stunned if anyone recognized me, even if they were to happen upon the forums.

[Paula A]

well I'm not worried about being found out by my family, I sometimes think it would be easier than telling them, especially my wife. BTW I'm thinking of doing so after the hollidays are over. the reason I say it would be easier to be "found out" than telling them is because I'm chicken.

Found out by my employer, Its my brother in-law's company and here is what I have to say to that. I was looking for a job when I came here and I'll be looking for one when I leave, what's the difference.

I don't think it would really hurt from my soccer team mates, we have been through a lot together and besides, and I'm a fair player.

The one place it could hurt would be with my coaching. it would suck to lose that, but I don't think that would happen, Its a private club and I have great support from my players and their parents.

BTW: Fionia, Fantastic to see you.

[Fiona K]

Paula, Sharon thanks again!

Paula,
I know where you're cominf from but having just recenlty come out to my wife, telling her ein a controlled environment was traumatic enough, her finding out on the web (with pictures) probably would have ended things.

I know what you mean about coaching though, From the age of 7 through to 35 I was a member of the Scout Association, if it had come out while I was a Scout leader then I'd have been finished.

Good luck if you decide to break the news to her
Love
Fiona

[Paula A]

Fiona;
I think your right on the money, she'll be even more upset if she found out through some other way other than metelling her. I'm still chicken, thanks for the luck.

But what the heck, I just got cought at the office a co-worker saw the site I had hidded on the bottom of my tool bar and I had an emery board on my chair - Oh well.

I know what you mean about the scouting organisation, I could have gotten ugly not being "morally straight".

[chippertu]

that's a beautiful quoe from anais nin. thanks. do you remember where you found it?

[Vallari]

The thought of someone recognizing and blackmailing me is often on my mind, but then I remember that I'm out to most of the people I know, including some of my family. The only real problem would be if someone in my family who didnt know found out right now, but then I could just use the famous excuse - "What are you doing at these sites anyways?". :o