Taking a mandatory break from CDing :(

[Alexandria]

Well some of you might remember me, most probably don't.

Anyway, the past few months I've been away from CDing. I'm moving very soon from Raleigh to Seattle with my family (my recently divorced mother and my sister) and I didn't anticipate the lack of hiding places (I'm still closeted from my ultra-religious mom), extremly tight budget, lack of car space (I'm travelling across country by car) and the stressful times ahead. I decided since I am bringing ONLY the essential things, I did a mandatory purge a few months ago (fear not, I purged half of my male wardrobe as well...take that ugly men's polo shirts!).

I've had the blues lately. It's hard dressing as my masculine self day-by-day, and it's especially hard not being able to do anything until AFTER I move at the end of October. Once in a while I'll run into a fantastic blouse at the mall or an online shop and miss the old days feeling the lovely silk on my body and primping myself up in front of the mirror for hours at a time. If anything, my biggest mistake was not keeping at least one outfit.

You all have been very kind to me and one of the most accepting groups outside my own friend circle, so I am asking if you all have any advice and words of inspiration for a gal feeling the blues?

[Holly]

Alexandria, sorry about the move and the wardrobe reduction. Often in life, we are called upon to do things for those who are important to us. If it's any help, it is a testimony to your character that you are willing to make a sacrifice in order to be a support for your mom and sister. It sounds like they are going through some difficult times as well. Congratulations to you for being there for them. Once you are moved and settled in your new location, then you can begin anew in taking care of yourself as well. Best wishes to you all.

[AmberTG]

Something to cheer you up, the Seattle area is a great area for an alternate lifestyle, better than many other areas, and they have some laws now that include non-discrimination on the basis of gender identification. The west coast is fairly progressive that way. There's also a lot of help available there for these kind of issues.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Alexandria, I feel for you. I have had my share of bad times over the last year, and there is one thing that I have learned. That "This too shall pass."
Whatever is troubling you, it will pass. No matter how bad it is.
Im sorry that you feel blue. If you want to talk feel free to e-mail me, and I will respond asap. :love:
Jennifer

[Alexandria]

Thank you all! It makes me feel quite good to know that things will be better.

Amber, I especially look forward to moving to Seattle. Your not the first person to tell me it's a fantastic place for the alternative lifestyle community. It's one of the big reasons I chose that area of the country to live in.

It'll be a little hard moving out here and trying to meet new people though. Here in Raleigh I had much support from my friends about my CDing lifestyle. If it wasn't for them, I might have never continued on this path.

But now that I will live 3000 miles away (knowing nobody and leaving all my friends behind), I'm basically having to start all over, not only rebuilding my wardrobe, but uncloseting myself toward new people.

It simply can get overwhelming knowing that there are much challenges ahead, and once in a while you have to ask "Is it worth it?". I certainly hope so.

[Jenny_TV]

Amber, I especially look forward to moving to Seattle.

Be sure to get in touch when you get here. I'm always looking for more friends in the area!

[Alexandria]

Be sure to get in touch when you get here. I'm always looking for more friends in the area!

Will do :D

[AprilMae]

I know how you feel. I'm just getting back after a long hiatus. Mostly due to just no time and I have less desire during the summer for some reason.

[pauleen]

Hey to all ,
I havent been around for awhile I,m sorry to all whom I used to chat with
I purged for all of the wrong reasons ,I thought that I could put it behind me to keep a relation ship going ,but it is like a drug ,or maybe its just a part of me that was programed before birth I dont know ,I fell off the horse ,and broke down and bought a skirt ,panty hose ,and a pair of wedges . I am trying not to let it consume my whole life like it did ,I lived slept dreamed cross dressing I put it first before anything I strived to go out but I never did .
I used to dress up for stress relief that was my cause to dress then it got more and more I couldnt wait to come home after work to dress ,I bought more ,and more shoe.s but no clothes to go with the shoes . I met a nice woman , who would wear heels for me so I thought I could buy for her to satify my needs to be with sombody who wore high heels all the time ,then in my mind I wished it were my feet in her shoes ,and here I am today .

[GypsyKaren]

Sorry to hear this Alexandria, sounds like quite a mess. We'll keep thinking of you, so try to stay in touch!

Karen