Balance M/F

[Kahlan51]

Hi: I have noticed a lot of threads and discussion about the exciting world of dressing en femme but seem to pick up on a general sense of dissatisfaction with male dress, hence the expression dressed up in "drab ". I seemed to have struck a balance between my male and female side both in dressing and outlook. I have fabulous clothes in both male and female apparel and enjoy both. I think I look more attractive as a women and love to dressup. I wonder how many others feel this balance and how they have arrived there. I am married and my wife is supportive that helps a lot. Love to hear from you about this. Love Kahlan

[claireswife-gg]

Just a bit of history, DrAG = dressed as a girl, DrAB = dressed as a boy.

But yes, Claire hates dressing as a boy now that she's been let out of the closet at home.

[gennee]

Hi, Kahlan. I have found the balance with my male and female side. I enjoy both and feel that nurturing my feminine side has made me complete.

Gennee


:happy:

[kittypw GG]

My husband has a very bad fashion sense with either male atire or female. I guess that is sort of a balance? LOL Seriously, I desire that balance that you have achieved. You are both male and female so to be happy and content I would think that you should embrace and enjoy both. I guess that is what we are going for. Otherwise innerconflict is all you have to look forward to. I like what Peggy R. says. Her husband is not two people and she always sees her husband what ever he is wearing. Both sides should be nurtured because they are one and the same not independant of eachother. :hugs:
:rose2:

[Marla S]

For me "CDing" is a 24/7 job and I am a GM. So I try not to pretend that I am a women*; I couldn't, 'cause nobody would believe me. I try to be authentic, which excludes padding and breast forms for me (wig ?, I am not decided yet, as wigs would be the right prosthesis for male baldness. More a question of vanity than of fem or male).
I almost never wear only drab or fem, it's almost always a mixture and balance of both. Something very feminine I contrast with something more masculine and the other way round. In cases when I wear only women's labeld clothes, as now, it is indeed more casual drab (a bit feminized), because quite a lot women's labeld clothes are almost drab like. (Some of my clothes that are labeled men's wear look indeed more feminine then some of my fem clothes).
For me this is the best choice, as I can do this 24/7 without bothering too much (still some restrictions with shoes and skirts though), feel fem enough (better said: feel to be closer to myself) and I think I look better than with tons of makeup and the like.

How did it come ?
Well, I think one thing that had a big impact was they day when I realized that the woman I could build with hormones, cosmetic surgery, and the like would probably feel as uncomfortable in her skin as the boy convicted to wear drab only. 6.1 feet, big hands, big feet, big head, broad shoulders, male baldness started early in my life, and a male voice is nothing that could be changed and nothing a woman would be happy about. (I probably would have changed the closet only). Without hormones and surgery I can't achieve more than a man in dress look, or the look of a caricature of a woman.
The goal of an 24/7 integration into my life and these physical restrictions made me rather to evolve and integrate my more fem traits into a GM's life, than trying to deny my male self. I think it is the right choice for me.



*Just for the fun of it or to improve and push my style I doll up sometimes at home, of course. But my image in the mirror most of the time tells me, that this should stay at home :D .

[Angie G]

Hi Kahlan welcome to the family when my wife and I step out I go as male and dress nice but no tie I have nice male thing but I'd sooner wear girls things execpt for work it is fem undies when dressed drab. I hate mens pants
I'll take a skirt eneytime. :hugs:
Angie G.

[Kate Simmons]

Your talking to the original balance babe, Hon. I enjoy both sides of myself but tend to "deviate" once in a while. Sometimes, I get the notion to be "Eric" who is me as Ericka dressed as a guy. Sometimes I'll blur that a little and become Kay who is a girly girl who likes to dress in guy clothes. Whatever the case, I enjoy being who I am which is the main thing.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Calliope]

I try to be authentic, which excludes pading and breast forms for me (wig ?, I am not decided yet, as wigs are the right prosthesis for male baldness).


I also favor the natural look - I cannot dig padding coming between my skin and my lovely clothes. I confess I am blessed with superlong hair, and it's in good shape, and that has contributed greatly to my general confidence. I acknowledge, for a lot of gals here, the wig is the paramount touch.

[rickie121x]

I am always perfectly balanced, as on a beam with Drag on one extreme and Drab on the other. It is just that my pivot point moves from one side to the other... hehe :heehee: Were I to have a choice of being other than what I am, there would be no question... However this notion of choice is but a figment of imagination, to be enjoyed now and then - but only as a light hearted trip of fancy.

[Melanie R]

I enjoy both my femininity and masculinity and try to be the best woman and man. I wish more CD's could also enjoy their masculinity. Here in Houston in our Tri-Ess chapter on the Friday before our regular Saturday night meeting we have "Boys R Us". Over the past 18 years since this was started our CD members and some wives get together to celebrate our masculinity. We attend baseball games, rodeos, eat at restuarants. This has been also an excellent way for new wives to meet others in the group while they are adjusting to their husband's dressing and seeing others.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Karren H]

Best of both genders, when and where I wish......

Love Karren

[AmberTG]

Hey Karren, nice new avatar! With cleavage like that, how well do you manage in drab?:heehee:
I tend to rather be wearing fem clothes, even if it's shorts or jeans and a tank top. I need to use padding to have any female shape, though I'd rather have my own.
Amber

[Josie]

I've been thinking more of cd'ing lately and not enough about man things. Soon I'll be able to satisfy my dressing desires and hopefully spend the time I need on man things. By man things I mean the handyman jobs around the house. That would make my lovely wife happy.

[Holly O'Niell]

I enjoy both my femininity and masculinity and try to be the best woman and man. I wish more CD's could also enjoy their masculinity. Here in Houston in our Tri-Ess chapter on the Friday before our regular Saturday night meeting we have "Boys R Us". Over the past 18 years since this was started our CD members and some wives get together to celebrate our masculinity. We attend baseball games, rodeos, eat at restuarants. This has been also an excellent way for new wives to meet others in the group while they are adjusting to their husband's dressing and seeing others.

Hugs,

Melanie

I could not agree more than the above. I also enjoy my male side of dressing and because of this a few years ago,(well, one of the reasons), I had to (voluntarily) give up my position as organiser of meetings, dinners etc. here in Edinburgh, Scotland.
I would organise a meeting for a few weeks ahead, arrange for maybe 6 to 12 members to meet, then on the night have absolutely no inclination to dress.
I would do so to begin with but could not enjoy it. I went a few times in male attire but this made some of the other members uncomfortable. I would have been more than happy (as would my wife) to have met members in the traditional way, sadly, for their own reasons, few were willing to do this.
Holly.

[JenniferMint]

There's this really nice lesbian girl I know whom I have a crush on. I fantasize about getting into a relationship with her, and then given she likes girls, I'd make myself 100% girl for her, even to the point of SRS if she so desires.

It's just a fantasy, though. I don't even know if she would like me in a romantic way.

(I'm M2F, kind of androgynous, don't really care about my male identity but use it a lot since it's easier)

[Casey Morgan]

For me, achieving balance is a concept that is at best inaccurate. What I strive for could best be called wholeness, completeness, or oneness. Personally, trying to keep things in balance often requires me to artificially divide myself into diametrically opposed concepts (male/female, introverted/extroverted, serious/frivolous, etc.) and worry if one of those is suffering at the expense of the other.

Wholeness requires only that I'm happy with myself at this particular moment. If I'm not happy then I can examine why not and find a solution that isn't so bound up in restoring one particular set of balancing concepts. Sometimes an effect can be felt in one area while the cause lies somewhere else completely.

[Alexandria]

This is something I've been thinking about lately. Before I started crossdressing, I never gave my male wardrobe so much as a second look. In fact, I hated my male wardrobe, it was just so boring compared to feminine clothing.

But more and more, I am improving my masculine appearence and filling up my male clothing with better looking stuff. Clothes that give me just as much, if not more satisfaction than womens clothing, and I have been getting a lot of compliments.

Just a few days ago actually, while in drab, one of my best friends (who I haven't seen in a few months) remarked that I looked "Much hotter" than the last time she saw me. What can I say, I was flattered :happy: .

I suppose crossdressing has given me a much better appreciation for my appearence in both the masculine and feminine aspects.

[bgirl]

With the exception of pantyhose, I am generally one or the other. Half dressed feels incomplete to me. Some unisex things work. Maybe I'm a unisexual.

[Lisa Golightly]

I'm as balanced as Ghengis Khan in a frock :)

[ReginaK]

Balance isn't for me. "Drab" is a fitting word, because that's exactly what it is to me. For me, masculinity is a beast behind me i'm doing my best to run away from while femininity is that goal that's always just out of reach.

[Janereed]

Its a difficult one,


Ive found more recently, that my male and only visable public side, is sliding horribly. I cant afford to buy clothes for 2 people, and its been the male side missing out. I havnt bought a male item of clothing for at least a year.

Where as Ive bought several outfits and numerous bras and undies for my femm side. I just have to make a concious effort to buy some junk for male me, as horribly ugly as it may be.

[Kaitlynn]

I was a 'rocker' as a guy and am a 'rock chick'/boho as a girl, so I would guess that could be called balance.

[Bridget]

Okay, so I'm not the only person here who balances things. It's not too terrible on your wallet, because guys honestly don't need too much variety in their wardrobe. Much of male fashion remains more or less similar. However, it's more of a 66 female to 33 male balance in my closet.

But I dress better as a male now than I did when I was closeted. I don't wear as much loose or baggy clothing. And I'm not so terrified to drop over 100 dollars on a single piece of clothing, male or female. (It still hurts me in the wallet/purse, though)