I saw a Girl out and about....

[Byllie]

If you think you see someone who is crossdressing, and I'm talking about MTF, what do you do? Log the encounter away for refrence? Or do you approach the person and ask "that personal question"? And thinking about, have you ever been approached and asked if you were CD?

[AmberTG]

I think that could be awkward for the person you ask, you would be "outing" them, and they don't know you at all. It might be different if you're at a CD friendly bar or something like that, but not in the mall.

[Joy Carter]

I saw one a couple of years ago at a car show. She was six four plus had three inch heels and to top that off her hair was piled on top of her head. There was no mistake it was guy in a sun dress. But no I'd never approach her even out of curiosity.

[Phoebe Reece]

Some CD's would be scared senseless by someone asking them "the question", so generally it is not a good idea. However, for someone like me who goes out a lot, I would welcome the opportunity to meet someone new and discuss crossdressing with them. On several occassions my friends and I have been dressed up and at restaurants or other places and someone will come up to us and say something to the effect of, "What are you guys doing dressed like that?" And we have done our best to educate them a bit about what crossdressing is all about. It has always been very good natured and a fun encounter. GG's are the only ones that seem brave enough to ask though. I haven't been asked that question by any guys - except in gay bars by very drunk guys.

[sterling12]

Would it be acceptable to kind of do a little chest-level wave and mouth the word hello or hi? I figure that this would be very non-threatening and then, that person could take it from there. If, they chose to do so.

Seems that if done discreetly, it might lead to a conversation and a possible friendship. I keep advocating for promoting contact and creating friendships in our world. It always seems a pity to have so many lonely Cd's out there! I often wonder how many of my Sista's that I might be passing every day and all the opportunity's I might be missing.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Ashley Helen]

The last girl I saw was walking past an open-air cafe I was sat in. Our eyes met and I tried to give her a smile of encouragement (but probably looked more like an idiot). I mentioned it to my wife who only saw the back view as she walked away but was complementary about the way the girl was dressed and walked.
The girl was very passable so how did I spot her? Is it a case of 'it takes one to know one'.

Helen xx

[Barb Valentine]

I'd say it all depends on where you are
In a mall "No"
In a club "Yes"

[Stephenie S]

Girls,

This seems a bit arogant to me. What gives you the right to out a perfect stranger in public? Just cause you "know" she's a crossdresser. Or you think you know.

Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. There you are at the mall, resturant, gas station, where ever, doing your best to pass unnoticed and some guy comes up to you and says, "Oh, I notice you're a crossdresser. I am too. Wanna talk about it?" GREAT! there goes your day! And what if you're wrong. She's NOT a crossdresser. Then what are you going to say? OOPS, sorry. And Believe me, there are some 6' babes in 3" heels with their hair piled high on their head. I have lived in Baltimore.

I'm sorry, but I don't think you should be doing this, ever. Here, we come together with some mutual understanding. We all know each other and why we are here.

Out in real life, I at least, want to be left alone. And I don't want to be outed by some well meaning stranger wanting to talk about pantyhose. Smile and compliment me on my outfit. Say, "Nice day, isn't it". If I want to talk I will. But no matter how rediculous I look, I probably don't want to be reminded that I'm not passing.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[KarenSusan]

I agree with Stephenie. I saw a CD the other day in a drug store. I made it a point to just glance at her and look away as I would any stranger. It is the way I would want to be treated if I was out in public and was read.

[Kate Simmons]

Nope to all questions. Ericka Kay

[Maddie]

I would nod and wink and let it go from there

walking right up would be pretty crass

if they come up to you then you have made a friend

[Lanore]

I'm with Stephenie on this one. It might be their first time out in public and I wouldn't want to add any more pressure. A simple smile will make all the differance in the world.

Lanore

[Kimberly]

There is a CDer who comes to the theatre, presenting as female (MtF), I've always been inclined to talk to her - but what to start with!? :p

"Hi! I noticed you're a crossdresser, how do you find your needs accomodated here??"

But still -- many are right in this thread: I can imagine it bloody scary to be outed, especially in the middle of a theatre foyer! (We don't have much room :()

But still, if she's happy then I'm not bothered. (I only managed to out her because of the orange skirt suit, matching heels which she was teetering on! :heehee:)

[EricaCD]

Living in NYC I see crossdressers of all degrees fairly regularly. I respond to them the same way I respond to every other person I don't know - I go about my business. If I had a reason to interact with her, or if she approached me for any reason, I would try to communicate with her exactly as I would with any other female that I did not know personally.

Erica

[Lilith Moon]

I would want to be treated as any other female, so that is how I would treat somebody I percieved as a crossdresser.

If it seemed appropriate I would give a friendly "hi" or a smile, just as I would with anybody else. It would be up to the person to broach the subject of crossdressing if that is what they wanted.

[Shelly Preston]

I once passed a CD in a shopping mall

She was witha lady who I assumed was her wife she glanced in my direction

So I gave her a friendly smile and walked on.

She look a bit scared so i would not have dreamed of increasing the pressure by stopping them

Maybe I would have engaged in small talk had it been in an elevator

[Angie G]

I would smile nod a hello and let it go if she started talking to me I would talk to her.
Angie G.

[Bernadina]

Spotted a CD yesterday in a department store. She was over dressed for where she was. A lovely violet skirt and jacket with a large matching flouncy hat and 6" heels. It would have worked well at the the Queens Garden Party. She quickly flittered from clothes rack to clothes rack.

The message I got was that she was feeling good, loved the way she was dressed but keep your distance.

[Calliope]

Eye contact - pay attention - follow intuition - watch body language - be patient.

It should be like any other chance meeting with a total stranger.

(Except your smile might be ... warmer ... )

[Marla S]

If I see a CD (???) (aproximately one time in 3 month), my first thought is: Oh, another TS.
I admit, that I find myself staring sometimes (I try to avoid.) Other than that I try to ignore it, except when the other realizes that I am a bit "different" too.
Happend only one time though. A saleslady in an department store nearby is dressed and styled in a very masculine way. I would consider her as FtM (others would vehemently deny this ;)). One day, when I was dressed feminine, we met and stared at each other for about 5 seconds, smiled and went on.

[kittypw GG]

How would you like to be treated when out crossdressed? Treat someone else the same. Simple.
:rose2:

[CaptLex]

I still think we need a secret handshake, pin or tattoo. :D

[Marla S]

Oh yeah. Please a tattoo. Right in the middle of the forehead.
Would make judgement and condemnation so much easier for all parties. :lol2:

[Wendy me]

i have seen and talked to a few of us Cd's out .... good gawd how silly are you's here???"how do you talk to a CD you see out dressed??? " omg think about it it is SO simple ... OK repeat after me.... duh.... i am a CD when i see a sister CD out if i can't be respectful of her privacy and respect her comfort zone then say nouthing.... now with out getting all stalking (no one likes that) you might simply say hello quietly ... or simply say nice shoes and smile a bit...

those of you that made the first trip out dressed think back now was meeting and greeting the public on your list??? or was it pulling together every ounce of courage to step out all you could do?? being read even by a CD could be scary on a first outing so give her space and don't push the issue.....

[Joanne_'jojo']

I would have to agree with most everyone else here. Be as respectful as you would to any other female. The character of the person you are approaching has a lot to do with the reaction as much as what you say.

I'm a pretty shy person, so if anyone was to walk directly up to me and say something like "Hi, nice shoes" I would be put off guard. I'd still be poilite but I'd feel awkward, and that's just in guy mode.
If I ever went out dressed and that happened I'd probably take off the heels and sprint for the nearest washroom.

Joanne

[CaptLex]

Oh yeah. Please a tattoo. Right in the middle of the forehead.
No, not on the forehead, silly - it would clash with the makeup. :tongueout I do want a TG symbol tattooed on the underside of my forearm, though. I think others in the know would recognize it and realize that I'm "family".

[MsJanessa]

I'm with Stephenie on this one. It might be their first time out in public and I wouldn't want to add any more pressure. A simple smile will make all the differance in the world.

Lanore

In the local mall or someother public place, I would simply smile at her then go about my business---if I was in a cd/tg friendly club I would start a conversation with the line---"You look absolutly fabulous" and see where it goes from there.

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm usually enfemme when I'm out shopping, dinning, or just walking around,if I should see someone that I thing is also a CD'er walking toward I just walk on by. If our eyes meet I just smile and move on. :love:

[Calliope]

I'm a pretty shy person, so if anyone was to walk directly up to me and say something like "Hi, nice shoes" I would be put off guard. I'd still be poilite but I'd feel awkward, and that's just in guy mode.


Yeh, I've said 'hey nice shoes' while moving on to men and women and dressers. It never hurts to compliment. What I don't do, however, is wait for a response. Let whoever you've praised enjoy the praise without feeling under pressure to earn the praise. IF they're out-going, they'll find something (appropriate) to say in return.

Oooo, it finally stopped raining. Downtown I go. Ta ta, ladies.

[Karren H]

Let them be.....probably would want it that way and probably make them feel better about their passability if you didnt say anything..

But if you see me out and about ....come on over...you can buy me a diet coke or something!! hehehe

Love Karren

[Sweet Jane]

I wouldn't approach them, instead as others have said, I'd just possibly make eye contact and then carry on my day, wishing that I had the courage to do just that.....

[Marla S]

No, not on the forehead, silly - it would clash with the makeup. :tongueout
:rolleyes: Do you apply lipstick or eye-shadow on the forehead usually (if any) ? :rolleyes:

I thought of a pink or light blue dot, respectively (hindu-like)

Forearm .... hmmmm .... that's old, we already had this. We need a more obvious stigma. :tongueout:

[CaptLex]

:rolleyes: Do you apply lipstick or eye-shadow on the forehead usually (if any) ? :rolleyes:
Lipstick or eyeshadow on the forehead? No, no, I mean it could clash with whatever colors are worn. Oh never mind. Tattoos on the forehead? Whoever heard of such a thing. :heehee:


Forearm .... hmmmm .... that's old, we already had this. We need a more obvious stigam. :tongueout:
Well, it may be passe to you, but it's classic to me - like a sailor of the past. :thumbsup:

Now, if you saw a TG symbol on my forearm, wouldn't you think we belonged to the same club?

[Marla S]

Now, if you saw a TG symbol on my forearm, wouldn't you think we belonged to the same club?
Of course, but a pair of heels or a false beard would do the trick too.

To be serious. A sign that usually is covered or is barely seen won't help much, because it will not be recognized by the folks on the street (don't want to walk around, with a lifted or strangely tisted forearm) ... where it could be helpful to make contact. For conventions or CD friendly locations I see no need for, because like-minded people meet there anyway.
Visible signs, if so popular that they are known by many people, are also known by not so friendly people and therefore easily become a stigma too.

[CaptLex]

Visible signs, if so popular that they are known by many people, are also known by not so friendly people and therefore easily become a stigma too.
Point taken - I guess it comes down to whether you'd want the general public to be aware. I still have to get a tattoo, though, so I can be a real sailor. ;)

[Phyliss]

About three weeks or so ago I happened to be in the local Lane Bryant looking at "T" shirts to wear under my work shirts now that the weather is getting cooler. Wasn't paying too much attention to the other customers, when I noted a guy coming out of one of the dressing rooms, with an arm full of clothes. I didn't approach him or say anything to him. As I was paying for my "T" shirts I overheard him asking the other S.A. if she had any "clip on" earrings. She replied that they didn't and really had no idea where to get them. I turned and said to check out the jewelry counter at Macy's as the had a whole rack of them. The girl thanked me for the information and the guy, while looking a bit surprised also thanked me for the info. Didn't say any more and just left with my purchases. Thinking about it later I figured that was a pretty cool thing that had happened. Two guys discussing where to buy earrings.
Hope he found what he was looking for.

[marcielegs]

I have to admit I gawk at them. its a huge turn on for me. But I don't see many out there to tell you the truth.

[angelfire]

I think I have seen 2-3 maybe. If that. I haven't been in a position where eye contact would be possible either.

[vbcdgrl]

Although I have been CDing for many years, I haven't been out among the "general public" enough en femme to have anyone "make" me. And, frankly, except when I go to CD friendly establishments, I haven't seen any CDs on the street, at least that I know of. If I did suspect someone as a CDer, I probably wouldn't approach them. Could be very embarrasing and humiliating.

Vikki

[Jenny Beth]

We were getting our groceries this afternoon in our little shopping center. Just as we were finishing I noticed a young couple in long gypsy style skirts. I've seen the girl around here many times, she's a local about 19 or 20 but I've never seen him. She used to dress mostly goth but I've also seen her dress sort of flappers style, this past winter I often saw her in a long cashmere coat and a felt fedora so she's certainly into changing her look. I never thought for one second that he was a crossdresser, he was not trying to look feminine since he was sporting a bit of facial hair. To me he was just making a fashion statement and I thought it was pretty cool that the two of them were just going about their business without a care in the world. It has me wondering though, whose idea was it for him to wear a skirt?

[joanlynn28]

I won't bother another crossdresser just like I wouldn't want some total stranger outing me out. As an example I was in line at a drug store a while back and I couldn't tell if the person is front of me was a man or a woman until I saw her fingernails. Then it was just okay, she is one of us.

[Melinda G]

Don't make any sudden movements, and try not to alarm the person. Slowly back away and walk rapidly in the opposite direction.:D

[deakane]

It would depend. If you could really tell the person was a CD then I might say something. Who knows maybe thats what they do it for.

If its not easy to tell and the person seems like they are just one of the masses but having a bad hair day then no I wouldn't say anything.

If I did say something to them and they were a CD then I would let them know I was as well. I think it would be eaiser on both of us that way.

[shawnaraylynn]

instead tattoos or dots why dont have like gang signs then could still be safe and noone is the wiser.:tongueout

[jenna19]

I work as a cashier for a major drug store and tonight a girl came through my till. I thought she looked very nice. I was unsure about saying anything to her though. I didn't want to cause any undue stress for her. I wonder what the rest of you would have done under these circumstances.

[Jocee]

Living in San Francisco, it is more or less a daily occurance to run into someone whom is presenting in public the gender role they prefer. I tend to leave things be, unless someone is out looking for recognition and is being ultra flamboyent and interacting (or rather overacting) with the world. The a well placed "You go, girl" is often appreciated!

[Raychel]

This happened just the other day at Payless Shoes. There was 2 women shopping in the mens sneaker area. One of them obviously was a GG, The other could have gone either way. Buut I dod notice a trace of an adams apple. No matter, We struck up a small conversation. The manly one had a very fem voice and said that the mens sneakers fit better. I of course said that whatever feels the best is what you should wear. All the while looking at the high heels the were right across the isle.

Just like talking to any other person that would have happened to be there. Afterall just because they have more courage than me to go out in public, doesn't mean I wil act any differantly around them. :thumbsup:

[Noel Chimes]

Can we reverse this a minute. Would you want someone coming up to you in the middle of a mall? Just take it in as a victory. Perhaps slowly mindsets are changing. Let's hope so.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

The best thing to do is to be polite. Although we understand them, and may want to tell them how we feel, it is best to just be polite. Unless the subject comes up then do not speak about it. They do not know who we are, and are trying to avoid embarrasing or dangerous situations.
Jennifer

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

What is really happening here is a strong desire for t girls to connect with others. I know the feeling. But I agree that approaching a stranger in the street can be off putting, even with the best of intentions.

[Rachel Morley]

If I saw another CDer in public and I was en drab I wouldn't say or do anything. If I was en femme, and they were close enough to see me then I might hold eye contact and smile at them to let them now I was a cder too rather than letting them know that I read them......although in doing what I just said I would be letting them know I read them wouldn't I? Doh! :doh: :bonk:

[Dominique Melt]

I have to go with the 'be discreet' school of thought. Unless and until the other person approaches you and broaches the subject, that person is exactly what you see -- another person in the world who most likely wishes to remain anonymous and intact. I do think that if the CDer were in a different setting, such as a party or risque sort of club, chances are that person might not mind casual conversation about CDing. But if it were I enfemme in public [and I've only been to one party as Dominique where everyone knew me], the last thing I would want is for somebody to out me. But to be perfectly honest, it really depends on who and how. I realize that sound kind of mealy mouthed, but there are always exceptions and attenuating circumstances.
My USD 0.02

[Denise01]

It has always been said that discretion is the better part of valor.

While I would love to be able to chat with another CD or TS, I would not want to be outed if some one made me, so I will not do that to any one else.

If I were femme, and another t-girl who was femme, did want to chat with me, i would naturally be pleasant and courteous, but i surely would not try to out them any more than i want them to out me.

Denise

[Joy Carter]

OMG I forgot when I was working a retail job years ago one came in and I took care of her purchases. After I rang up the sale we talked and she stared at me a little and thanked me for being kind. She then gave me a business card for an insurance co. in the area. Was I being too kind and accepting of her that I gave off the notion that I was a CD +? :o

[Sarah Rabbit]

I still think we need a secret handshake, pin or tattoo. :D

Don't go Making me link to my 'Secret Signal' thread. I'm only just NOW getting over the lack of support it received from the other members :lol: :lol:

Sarah R. :bunny:

[PaulaMea]

Being that I just joined, I wish we did have a secret signal of some sort. A while back I was at a rock concert and there were four or five girls out together (and staying close). I was envious of their tenacity and as I was noticing how fantastic they looked I realized that they probably thought I was gawking. That would have been the perfect time to signal them.... If only there was such a signal.

P

[NighttimeGirl]

If you think you see someone who is crossdressing, and I'm talking about MTF, what do you do? Log the encounter away for refrence? Or do you approach the person and ask "that personal question"? And thinking about, have you ever been approached and asked if you were CD?

wow what a question, would never approach another T girl that is intrusive, I would smile at them approvingly and let them know with a look that I do that as well, love the whole look and say nothing but mean everything type scenario.

:hugs:

[RoxieStar]

In my opinion if you feel moved to say somthing be subtle and sweet " you look very pretty today" somthing to that effect. The more positive response you give to someone the more likely you are to see more of that person. I would love to see more "girls" out and about, and I think the rest of the world needs too! Theres no need to call someone out on the subject, if you can tell your not looking at a GG the girl can probably tell and at which point you should initiate some positive conversation.
Good Luck,
R Star

[Stacie Stockman]

Maybe if more of us were out, that we wouldnt be treated as a fringe group of perverts. I wish for a sign that we could use to signal one another to say, Hey WE ARE NOT ALONE! Power comes from strength in numbers.

Too many of us do seem too skittish, to be even photographed, much less seen out in public.

[Tina Dixon]

Wow I have never seen one of us and I do mean us out and about so I don't really know what I would do but more than likely I would watch how other people react to her.

[prophet]

I would love to see someone out in a random public place. Then again I might run up to them and scare them away because it's so rare around here. Then again unless it was very obvious I doubt I would notice.

[GG Vanya]

Eye contact - pay attention - follow intuition - watch body language - be patient.

It should be like any other chance meeting with a total stranger.

(Except your smile might be ... warmer ... )


Exactly! I've told about our flamboyant CD here in this town before. I run into her quite often about town. She doesn't dress to pass. Her fetish is "can can" slips...layers and layer of them.

I make it a point to be friendly if I am in close quarters (such as the check out line) and unlike those who look away as if she's something to be shunned, I try to give her what I *think* would be a knowing smile.

This CD is legendary in this town, and I'd seen her years before I ever thought about a relationship with a crossdresser. Since moving back here, I've wanted to approach her, but will not, for fear of embarassing her.

[fionasboots]

Go up to a complete stranger (non-CD) and say "Hello I notice you're NOT a crossdresser, want to talk about it?" :lol:

Would you go up to a GG or 'normal' guy and just start talking? Nope, that sort of thing is kinda freaky.

Ideally CDs should be just treated as part of the scenery like everyone else you encounter while out and about - no staring no special treatment ... well, okay a appraising glance to convey the message "nice outfit" would be okay, surely every girl is going to appreciate that :D