Concessions?

[CDLauraNJ]

I'm relatively new to this forum so I appologize if this topic has been beaten to death. My wife knows about my crossdressing yet isn't tolerant at all. Just the idea of it bothers her, although I often wear panties and a camisole under my t-shirt and boxers to bed. I've also been wearing a bra under my t-shirt on many evenings. After tension had been brewing lately we had a long talk. I reiterated to her my need to dress. She understands but just doesn't want to see it. Lucky for me, tonight is her first night of class (she's going back to school), so I know I have at least four hours to dress. She knows I'll be dressing when she's at class. Part of me wants her to forget and come home early and see me dressed. We've spoken about this possibility and she says that she would probably "freak out". I really don't want to rub my crossdressing in her face so I'm just going with the status quo. I'm hoping that we can keep the communtication lines open and things will be OK. I am very glad that we can talk about the issue from time to time. I'm sure many of you are in a similar situation.

[Tracy_Victoria]

The good thing here is she knows, however that sometimes can be no easy thing. My partner is aware I'm a crossdresser, and has tried to understand this thing I call my hobby, however, dispite this we have made little if any headway since joining this forum earlier in the year. in fact if I'm honest with myself i think we have gone backwards in a way.

I love her for trying to understand this, and even for trying to accept it, but the fact of another week passing by and having made no more forward headway just drive you to dispear (and it tend to grow by the week, and increase as the months pass! it been increasingly hard since the school holidays have been on for the past six weeks in the UK, but there again I wonder if that is a reason or an excuse. it's I'm kind of sure a case holidays or not I would have just counted another six weeks off of my life list.
Ie I'm getting no younger, here.

I would suggest you don't end up in no-mans-land like I feel I have, ie I have permission (if thats the right word for it) to dress, however I have to curb my dressing to the family. though thats generally okay it doesn't stop me wanting to occationally (under the right circumstances) go the full 9.99 yards that I know full well, I can do, and therefore if i'm honest that causes an inner frustration which does not help. either me, her, or us! (also my dressing is not just wanting to sit in four walls, with just myself for company!) I read a passage in the book, my husband betty, which about summed me up, (probably the only page I've read in the book so far) basically it was under the heading of passing, and I could not have written it better myself. ie to pass, is like a badge of honnor, maybe speaking as myself, passing is acceptability, of my other self!

Talk to your wife, make your plan of acceptability from both sides, and never give up hope of her understanding and accepting, but you must also accept, than she may never be able to, dispite the best will in the world, and all the effort she can muster.

hope this make sence, just my ramblings and my :2c:

[CDLauraNJ]

Well, I agree with everything you've said, and although I crave acceptance, ultimately I have to respect my wife's wishes and feelings. I'm hoping that over time she can become more and more tolerant.

[Lee51964]

my X-wife didn't want anything to do with it

[Staci]

My wife supports me. We do have some rules. She will help with make-up but does not want to see me in a wig. Although she knows I have one and helped me decide on the color and length. My dressing is private with only her to see and know. I buy one very nice outfit a year. In between lingerie is fine and usually get an outfit for my birthday and New Years Eve. She helped measure me for my prom dress. Gives me make-up that she tries and doesn't think she looks good in it. Those are about the only rules we have. I can't ask for anything more.

[Calliope]

I reiterated to her my need to dress. She understands but just doesn't want to see it.

Maybe another woman would like to. I've gone out dancing many times (straight bars) and more than quite a few GGs are totally charmed.

[vbcdgrl]

I think a lot of GG SOs feel they have to compete with their CD hubby's "female self" for his affection. They are afraid of how good the CD might look, so don't want to see her(him).
I can imagine the mental torment the GGs go through over this whole CDing hubby or BF issue. It's really not fair!!
I hope you can work it out, but, I would not be surprised if, someday, your marriage suffers. Bit of a rant, sorry.

Vikki

[JenniferMint]

I think a lot of GG SOs feel they have to compete with their CD hubby's "female self" for his affection. They are afraid of how good the CD might look, so don't want to see her(him).

It's funny, once I started CDing, now when I look at girls in the street I can think "I'm prettier than her" or "I'm cuter than her" or "I'm sexier than her".