Crossdressing in the Media

[Melanie R]

The link which follows is about an article in the Las Vegas Sun newspaper on Crossdressing in Las Vegas and the local Tri-Ess chapter. This is an excellent article.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/sun/2006/sep/05/566681198.html?tri-ess.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Calliope]

This is an excellent article.


I don't agree. It's loaded with bummers.

"On the Strip, tourists laugh and applaud men who dress up" - um, great start.

"They are hulking figures in the female clothing ..." Green skin, too?

"Glovinsky described the men's condition as a fetish..." Nice word. Repeated throughout the article.

"Most men are unable to cope with the condition and try to deny or suppress it until later in life." The 'condition' - very psych ward.

"'Are you gay, are you transsexual and are you nuts?'" Keeping the psych angle going.

"'It's shocking. It's devastating. It's heartbreaking,' she said of finding out your husband is a cross-dresser." Boo frickin' hoo.

"Despite protestations, Nora reaches into his bra, yanks out a flesh-toned silicone breast prosthesis and flops it on the table." 'Flops.' Real crude.

Yellow journalism.

Subtle as 1933.

Nevada must be a real hoot.

[Karren H]

Hey Mel...was chatting with Jacky yesterday who is a member of the LV chapter and she said that they were miffed that the reporter concentrated more on the wives having problems with their husbands CDing then on the Chapter or its members... Jacky if she's reading this can chime in and correct me if I'm wrong.. Guess talking about happy contented crossdressers doesn't sell news papers!! Lol

Love Karren

[Paula Thomas]

Karren - "...talking about happy contented [fill in ANYTHING here] doesn't sell news papers".

My wife and I plan on joining a local chapter of Tri-Ess (the local chapter's website looks great), and we agree with the Wives' and Crossdressers' Bill of Rights.

Love, Paula

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

This is another example of how the media does an enormous disservice to t girls. There are so many innacuracies and distortions in this piece that deconstructing it would be a monumental task.

[tekla west]

V.I.A.! = very icky article. No redeeming quality to it at all, cheep sensationalism, crass materialism, zero spiritual, or psychological focus. Wow, pretty much like Vegas itself.

Like Nora's wife, whine, whine, nag, nag. Like TD said in another post, Deal or Walk. Its your life girl, make a choice and be happy in it. In the end, sympathy sucks.

[Julogden]

The link which follows is about an article in the Las Vegas Sun newspaper on Crossdressing in Las Vegas and the local Tri-Ess chapter. This is an excellent article.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/sun/2006/sep/05/566681198.html?tri-ess.

Hugs,

Melanie
Hi Melanie,

Hon, how do you figure that's an excellent article? I think it's horrendous!

Carol:hugs:

[Melanie R]

Hi Melanie,

Hon, how do you figure that's an excellent article? I think it's horrendous!

Carol:hugs:

Carol,

Excellent was not a good word to use. I should have said this article was an excellent example of the problems we all face and not just in Las Vegas. This article shows again that this reporter and most in our society need to be educated. They see crossdressing as a fetish, a compulsion, a condition and a hobby. The reality is that because of this ignorance there is non-acceptance and condemnation. The reality is that most wives do not accept and many only tolerate. The wife that fully accepts and partcipates is rare. The local group should have insisted that they see the copy of the article before it was printed. Newspapers and other media sensatioalize to sell papers.

Hugs,

Melanie

[KateLongman27]

The link which follows is about an article in the Las Vegas Sun newspaper on Crossdressing in Las Vegas and the local Tri-Ess chapter. This is an excellent article.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/sun/2006/sep/05/566681198.html?tri-ess.

Hugs,

Melanie

It's written by Marshall Allen [can be reached at [email protected]]

Who paid this guy? That article was awful, all it did was to "slate" cross dressers, when in fact it should of been used to demystify the rumours and misunderstandings surrounding cross dressing that most people believe to be true.

One point of the women was "/...-What's this going to do to my children?../" Nothing hopefully it'll make them more accepting that people are different and its okay to be different and dress in women's clothing (and vice versa) whether you're Hetero, Bi or Gay.

Maybe they should get a better journalist to cover an article like this in the future.

[Calliope]

It's written by Marshall Allen [can be reached at [email protected]]


As much as I feel like slapping this guy, remember the editor's almighty role in prepping the piece for publication.

[SherriePall]

Sounds like my wife was there that night. By the way, Karren, were you there? Said there was a hockey player who dressed.

[Karren H]

Sounds like my wife was there that night. By the way, Karren, were you there? Said there was a hockey player who dressed.

Nope. Wasn't me.. But Jacky told me about her...I know of enough crossdressing hockey players to make up a powderpuff team!! :D. Or is the hockey playing crossdressers?? Hehe

Love Karren

[Christina Nicole]

The article does not paint a pretty picture of crossdressers. Too bad that the wife there was a typical wife of a crossdresser and the guys there were typical guys. I'm guessing that they didn't give the report much to work with, or the only good stuff was gross stuff.

It sounds like only Nora's wife was able to articulate her feelings well enough. She also sounds like the typical crossdresser's wife. Nothing new with what she says. The wife certainly deserves a say.

The crossdressers couldn't come up with a substantial reason for their dressing. The quotes from the doc are balanced including

Glovinsky described the men's condition as a fetish because initially, at least, cross-dressers derive sexual pleasure from wearing women's clothing.
and

"Donning a female's clothing, for some strange reason with these individuals, has eliminated anxiety," Glovinsky said. "And people develop habits that persist. After a while the behavior becomes self-sustaining. It doesn't provide pleasure, but it sure eliminates anxiety."

Then there is the presentation issue. For example, a hulking 6' tall 215 lbs guy with huge shoulders and a tatto does not belong in a sleeveless sundress and wearing a cute blonde Princess Di wig. That's just begging abuse. Flopping a breast form on the table is also pretty awful. These guys behaved like pigs. If they acted like ladies, maybe they would have been treated as such.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[susancheerleader]

Sorry hijack this thread. But what is "Tri-Ess?"
I hear that allot but have no clue about it.

[tekla west]

Its one of the oldest CD groups in the US. They have always been "fiercely straight" almost militantly so. The have social meetings, but tend to do it in hotel rooms and the like and not really out in public, though I've been told that is changing. Some people think of it as a "rich girls club" others as a slightly larger closet, either way you can go and check it out for yourself.

http://www.tri-ess.org

[susancheerleader]

Its one of the oldest CD groups in the US. They have always been "fiercely straight" almost militantly so. The have social meetings, but tend to do it in hotel rooms and the like and not really out in public, though I've been told that is changing. Some people think of it as a "rich girls club" others as a slightly larger closet, either way you can go and check it out for yourself.

http://www.tri-ess.org

Ahhhwww.
Thanks for the link. :)

[ReginaK]

The article doesn't surprise me at all. Nearly all of mainstream journalism paints crossdressing as some deviant, pathological, feteshistic activity where all the crossdressers are troubled, homely individuals in turbulent marriages.

There is much work to be done.

[Kieron Andrew]

Its one of the oldest CD groups in the US. They have always been "fiercely straight" almost militantly so. The have social meetings, but tend to do it in hotel rooms and the like and not really out in public, though I've been told that is changing. Some people think of it as a "rich girls club" others as a slightly larger closet, either way you can go and check it out for yourself.

http://www.tri-ess.org


The start of one of their disclaimers slight disturbed me..........

CDTRIESS is a support forum for the heterosexual crossdresser. It is a place to get answers to some of your most intimate crossdressing questions from people who have been there. It is also a place for those who have been there to help those who are new to openly expressing themselves without societies gender restrictions.

.......so if a girl expresses shes bi or gay then she doesnt qualify for support........as if we didnt have enough segregation in the world already!

[Marla S]

.......so if a girl expresses shes bi or gay then she doesnt qualify for support........as if we didnt have enough segregation in the world already!
[/COLOR][/SIZE]
You are right. But the underlying problem IMO is that even the support groups are not able to separate crossdressing from sexuality. Lame try in excluding homosexual folks. Fatal self-deception. I wouldn't want to join such a 'support'-group, because I have (had) my closet already and the prejudices are already strong enough, they don't need to be supported.

[sara_also]

Well my wife and I were invited to this meeting also. Due to other circumstances we were not able to attend.
Some of the things discribed in the news paper I did not care for, but the one thing that stood out most to me was the non approving wife of Nora.
(I do understand Nora's plight). I do wish that my wife and I would have been able to attend, because my wife is very approving, and I am sure that she would have been able to put quite a different spin on the other side of the negative spouses. My wife also read the article this morning and said that she may also make a comment regarding it. (I hope she does)
We have also been out several times here in Vegas and have never run into any problems. We usually go to the run of the mill places and not the gay or tg venues. So I once again must disagree with this being an overly conservtive town.
For all who read this article, I would hope they would understand they are written to sell papers. Anyway just my thoughts.
Sara Also

[sara_also]

:2c: I so wish I had been at the meeting (for the newpaper artical) if only to represent another side to being married to a crossdresser. I do not know Noras wife I do hope at some time we will meet so that we can talk and maybe find out where all her anger comes from. Maybe it is being married so long before finding out about his crossdressing, I on the other hand have known from the beginning. I truly believe that there are accepting wives out there.....granted they are at different levels and some take longer than others to recognize the fact that this is still their husband, dressing(at least in my husbands case) does not change who he is on the inside .......it adds to him. I have to be careful not to preach and try to reform all wives.....I just really have a problem with not accepting your husband totally if you really love him and he is basically a good man in every other area of your life.
I guess I just don't understand or I just have a truely remarkable husband and his dressing is just no big deal. :hugs:

[NatalieH]

For another style of reporting on CD issues, try the NYTimes today:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/07/fashion/07nails.html?ex=1158292800&en=69
ecc95df2023f1c&ei=5070&emc=eta1

In case there's aproblem with the link, the article is "A Safe House for the Girl Within" in the Home & Garden section. I liked it, and learned some history.

Also, on a slightly different (but relevant) topic, look in the Fashion & Style section for the article on nail polish chemicals.

Natalie

[loki_uk]

Then there is the presentation issue. For example, a hulking 6' tall 215 lbs guy with huge shoulders and a tatto does not belong in a sleeveless sundress and wearing a cute blonde Princess Di wig. That's just begging abuse. Flopping a breast form on the table is also pretty awful. These guys behaved like pigs. If they acted like ladies, maybe they would have been treated as such.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

Rubbish, I'm 6'2 and wear what I like even if it is glaringingly obvious I'm a bloke in a dress. It's bad enough nilla's thinking your a freak without the fashion police digging their oar as well

So if I want to flounce around in a Laura Ashley floral dress I will, huge shoulders or not :2c:

[Yes I am]

What constitutes "acting like a lady" anyhow? Crude humor and poor fashion sense are not exclusively male attributes.

[linnea]

Nora's wife needs a lot of help. I'll grant that she has a reason to be upset, but her behavior, especially with the bra incident at the end, is really demeaning. I think that she is trying to deny Nora's existence, but in the face of Nora and her TriEss support group all that she can do is to strike out at it. In the final analysis, the article certainly doesn't do CDs any good that I can discern.



V.I.A.! = very icky article. No redeeming quality to it at all, cheep sensationalism, crass materialism, zero spiritual, or psychological focus. Wow, pretty much like Vegas itself.

Like Nora's wife, whine, whine, nag, nag. Like TD said in another post, Deal or Walk. Its your life girl, make a choice and be happy in it. In the end, sympathy sucks.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

I agree with daytripper. The author put his spin on the article. When he made refrence to the CD's in the article, he added key words that made all of us appear a but crazy. We all know these things are not true, but I guess the author is not a CD himself. Or, maybe he is and this is his way of letting on to his secret. Maybe he had no choice but to write this article and had to make the best of it.
I agree with daytripper.
Jen

[linnea]

This is a very interesting and informative article. I would love to be able to spend weekends at a safe house like the one described in the article, just to be my ordinary, feminine self.



For another style of reporting on CD issues, try the NYTimes today:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/07/fashion/07nails.html?ex=1158292800&en=69
ecc95df2023f1c&ei=5070&emc=eta1

In case there's aproblem with the link, the article is "A Safe House for the Girl Within" in the Home & Garden section. I liked it, and learned some history.

Also, on a slightly different (but relevant) topic, look in the Fashion & Style section for the article on nail polish chemicals.

Natalie

[Rachel Morley]

Hummm.....overall this is, IMHO, not putting cders and Tri-Ess in a particularly good light. While there were a couple of OK quotes like "Donning a female's clothing, for some strange reason with these individuals, has eliminated anxiety" and "It's a way to tune out and relax," Mindy said. "I've had periods of my life when I've been under huge amounts of stress. I found it's an escape." for the most part the repeated references to "the condition" and "his fetish" were not helpful one bit. Never once did thay say it was OK for a man to want to feel feminine. :sad: As for Nora.....well, the less said the better. Overall I give it a :thumbsdn:

[Christina Nicole]

Rubbish, I'm 6'2 and wear what I like even if it is glaringingly obvious I'm a bloke in a dress. It's bad enough nilla's thinking your a freak without the fashion police digging their oar as well

So if I want to flounce around in a Laura Ashley floral dress I will, huge shoulders or not :2c:

Fine. But don't be surprised if someone, or a reporter, finds that ridiculous scene... ridiculous.


What constitutes "acting like a lady" anyhow? Crude humor and poor fashion sense are not exclusively male attributes.
There are a number of books on etiquette. It should be no secret how to act like a lady. You are correct in your observations that being female does not necessarily make one a lady. Nora, in the article, is an apt example. However, if one is crossdressed as a woman, better to act the lady than the boor. Boorish behavior always paints the oaf in a bad light.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[EricaCD]

For another style of reporting on CD issues, try the NYTimes today:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/07/fashion/07nails.html?ex=1158292800&en=69
ecc95df2023f1c&ei=5070&emc=eta1

In case there's aproblem with the link, the article is "A Safe House for the Girl Within" in the Home & Garden section. I liked it, and learned some history.

Also, on a slightly different (but relevant) topic, look in the Fashion & Style section for the article on nail polish chemicals.

Natalie

Natalie - thanks so much for bringing this article to my attention! :love: Sheesh, of all the days to not read the Times closely enough...

I found this to be one of the most interesting and enjoyable articles I have read, on any subject, in years. Best paragraph:


Mostly the guests talked and talked. “They talked about fashion, and passing, and how and if they’d told their wives or girlfriends,” said Ms. Cummings, who is divorced and has three daughters. “In those days we didn’t know where we were going.”

Wow. The more things change, the more things stay the same, eh? 45 years later and we are still discussing the same stuff. Fantastic.

Erica

[NatalieH]

Sheesh, of all the days to not read the Times closely enough...
Erica

Erica,

There's another good article on the same day, in the first section, about an mtf t/s returning to a high-school teaching job (A Not-Quite-New Teacher...). Yes, it was a good issue, may have to change their name to the TG Times!

Natalie

[ChristineRenee]

Not the most flattering portrait of crossdressing to be sure, and an article that certainly tends to be much more sympathetic of Nora's wife's negative attitude about cd'ing as opposed to being understanding of cd's in general.

Sorry to say Melanie...but I found it to be rather disappointing both in content AND intent.:(

[Sky]

[I]CDTRIESS is a support forum for the heterosexual crossdresser.[/].

.......so if a girl expresses shes bi or gay then she doesnt qualify for support........as if we didnt have enough segregation in the world already!

Not that fast. Let me add my two cents to it.

I was once invited to a Tri-Ess meeting without having a clear idea of their profile. Once there, as I got to talk to the girls, it became clear I was the only bi in the room, but still everybody was totally nice (I didn't insist too much on it either). After the meeting I emailed my contact about what happened and she made clear that, while bragging about your sexual life as a bi was not encouraged, there was no problem with a bi girl joining them. Still, I decided I didn't quite fit in the group and stopped attending, but I would never say they segregated me.

[Kieron Andrew]

sky i was only readin a disclaimer that happened to be on their very own site, so i was questioning it?

[Sky]

The link which follows is about an article in the Las Vegas Sun newspaper on Crossdressing in Las Vegas and the local Tri-Ess chapter. This is an excellent article.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/sun/2006/sep/05/566681198.html?tri-ess.

Hugs,

Melanie

Oh, no! Once again I am on the other side! I found the article interesting and tolerable, at the very least...

The thing is, can we accept that other people (be it journalists, wives or the average Joe, or Joan) have their own opinions about us, which may not (ok, often not) match ours, and take it like a man? Or should it be like a woman? Anyway, you know what I mean!

A journalist walks into some crossdressers' lives with his own perspective. He says that people laughs and applauds to professional performers in drag, and damn if it isn't true: sorry if you get mad at it but that's exactly what performers look for. Do we really want to ban female impersonators?

Then, next thing that comes to the journalist's mind is "how about their wives?" Then he interviews them and find some to be emotionally stressed. One of them says she can hardly tolerate hubby's behavior. Why is this so wrong? Can't we accept that some of our wives don't want anything to do with crossdressing? Should their opinions be banned and replaced with the "happy wife club" only? Are we really that soft, we can't accept a journalist writing that our lives -actually, the lives of those around us- are not always rosy?

Then the end of the article comes when a cd flops (or should it have been "softly placed"?) a breast form on the table. Guys (now they're guys again) roar and the penman simply takes notes. And some of us get mad at him. What did he do other than registering what was happening? Doesn't the NYT article say that the cders at Susanna also used to hunt and discuss rifles over the table? If a cd willingly crosses roles and behaves like a frat boy, so be it, but don't go whining "we are portraited in a negative way". Bash the cd who slammed her breast on the table if you don't like it. But don't shoot the messenger.

[Sky]

sky i was only readin a disclaimer that happened to be on their very own site, so i was questioning it?

No, but since you live in the UK (so I assume you never met these girls) I just wanted to tell you my real life experience with Tri-Ess, which shows that the limits are actually not so hardly drawn. :hugs:

[Yes I am]

There are a number of books on etiquette. It should be no secret how to act like a lady. You are correct in your observations that being female does not necessarily make one a lady. Nora, in the article, is an apt example. However, if one is crossdressed as a woman, better to act the lady than the boor. Boorish behavior always paints the oaf in a bad light.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

Hey, whatever floats your boat.

[Nora]

I guess I should post a response to the many comments made here on the article.

It is very easy to comment after the fact, and make statements about what transpired without having been there. How many of you who are reading this would have the nerve to even be interviewed much less leave the protection of your secret closet.

Yes, the article was poorly written and some of the statements were mistated, construed and taken out of context.

I was contacted by the reporter as part of his broad plan to write an article about support groups in Las Vegas. Our Tri-Ess chapter was to be one of many groups mentioned in the article. The more we talked the more interested he seemed to be. He subsequently asked me for permision to do an entire article on our chapter. I was assured that the article would be in good taste. We agreed to interview for the article for several reasons.

1-To increase public awareness of the Transgender community.

2- To lessen public negative stereotypes

3- To provide information about Tri-Ess and Theta Upsilon Gamma.

4- To let other Crossdressers in Las Vegas know that we have a chapter in the city and welcome their joining us.

The interview seemingly went well but the outcome left a lot to be desired, although it was not necessarilly as bad as some here have made it out to be. I suspect that as some of you mentioned there was strong editorial input to slant the article somewhat.

Several of you have critisized my wife for her comments. My question to these people is where are you and your wives. How many here are still deep in the closet, where your wife or anyone else does not have the faintest idea of your dressing.

How many wish that they had the nerve to tell their wife? How many of you wish that your wife would go out with you in public to a restaurant. I think the idiot who made a comment that my wife needs help sorely needs help himself.

Yes, my wife is not a outspoken fan of my dressing, but she knows and is in her own way very supportive. How many of your wives would agree to meet with a reporter in an open restaurant setting with five crossdressers all of whom were dressed. She is brutally honest and that in itself is not a bad thing. She is extremely helpful to new wives who come to meetings who are petrified not knowing who they are about to meet and have the stereotypical thoughts in their mind about us. You must understand that being negative in many ways can be positive. Her negativity can lead other wives to be more accepting. This has happened countless times.

When I met the reporter I also provided a ton of written material about crossdressing and Tri-Ess. I provided phone numbers and emails of experts whom he could consult and ask technical questions. He chose instead to talk to some hack psychiatrist who does not have a clue about our community. Several years ago I representeed Tri-Ess in a convention held in Las Vegas for therapists, couselors in the field of Sexuality. It was amazing how few of them understood or had any knowledge about crossdressing. One of these so called doctors could only muster a question if I "tucked" when dressing. This is what we have out there as " experts".

In your comments there was mention of Tri-Ess. Some were positive and some where negative. I suspect that those making negative comments do not have any idea about the organization. One of the basic tenets of Tri-Ess is to promote spousal understanding and striving towards a working relationship. The comments and feelings of all partners are welcomed and encouraged.

As I said there were some negatives in the article but there were postives also. I guess we all want every article published to have a glowing report about us. I know that I do. But this isnt happening. The article did not entirely put us in a bad light. It is a beginning. What we need is more of us, including our wives to be willing to talk to others . let others know about our great community, who we are and what we are dong.

I would welcome hearing from any of you out there either on the forum or email me directly at [email protected].

If anyone is interested in joining or learning more about Tri-Ess please contact me

Nora

[Noel Chimes]

First of all, where did they find this reporter? Working for some grocery store tabloid? Get serious. To me the article was so lefthanded until it could run the Daytona 500 and win by 2 laps.
Now I'm not saying that there aren't hockey players out there who live like we do because I'm sure there are. However, as I said before we come from ALL backgrounds, religions, and races. Just let us live our lives as we choose to. You don't like me in a dress, fine. That's your opinion. But opinions are like roses. And if you lean a little bit closer you see roses really smell like boo boo.

[EricaCD]

Hi Nora - and thanks for your perspective on what went into (and came out of) that article. Articles frequently take on a different tone than was originally intended, and the various posts in this thread have suggested many of the reasons. I am sorry this one did not work out (at least in my opinion), but do congratulate you for at least trying to support a balanced story. And it would be silly to blame you (or your wife) for the direction the article ultimately took.

Erica

PS: While I disagree with the basic "no gays" tenet of Tri-Ess, I certainly understand that reasonable minds can differ on that stricture given the stated mission of the group. To my mind, the better response is not to bash Tri-Ess but rather to create more, and more varied, support institutions for the CD community.

[Nora]

HI Erica:
Thank you for you understanding in your response statement. In submitting to the interview I considered the possibility of things going wrong and decided it was worth giving it a chance. I would do it again given the opportunity.

I would also like to comment on the statements made regarding Tri-Ess. It has
commonly been mentioned that Tri-Ess is anti gay or Tri-ess only permits Heterosexual crossdressers to join the organization. This has caused many venomous statements to be made against Tri-Ess.
In truth that is not correct.Yes, Tri-Ess focusses on the heterosexual crossdresser but there are provisions for the entire spectrum of the Transgender population to interact with the organization. Many of the chapters across the country have developed a working relationship with other community Transgender organizations.
Tri-Ess focusses on certain areas that are more prevalent to the Heterosexual crossdresssing community such as spousal or SO understanding and involvement. It recognizes these problems and works with the Significant others towards better understanding. One of the main fears that Wives face in dealing with our crossdressing the deep down fear and concern that we may be gay, BI or Transexual.

Your suggestion that instead of bashing Tri-Ess for its focus there should be more varied support institutions is an excellent one. Each segment of our community faces individual problems as well as the overall similarity in issues. When in discussion on these issues I like to pose an example of the person joining a book club. Say a person is a science fiction reader and locates two book clubs. One featuring only books which he is prone to read and another which has all kinds of books including the topics he favors. Which one should he choose? I personally would choose both. Get the best of both.

When I lived in New York city I was active in three uniquely different support groups. The Tri-Ess, Chi Delta Mu chapter, Crossdressers International and Femme Fever. I am proud to have belonged to all three and have made many friends in all of them.

It's time we stopped looking to bash organizations but look to the positive sides of each one.

Nora

[cd_michelle_mpls]

my comments are regarding the linked article from the LV sun, and none of the subsequent comments, FYI:

first, let me dispell a popular myth. writers do not pen articles to sell papers. newspapers do things to sell papers, but assigning one particular article with the idea it will sell more copies, is antiquated. let's pretend that a daily papers sells for 50 cents, and it sells 100,000 copies a day. what are the chances an article, one single article, will generate another 10,000 sales on a weekday? let's pretend it does. how much did the newspaper profit: $5,000. none of us would throw $5K out the window, and a newspaper wouldn't sneeze at an easy $5K in revenue, but the reality is that the paper doesn't make money on selling a few more copies through it's articles, now more than ever since most articles are available for free, before the print edition hits the stands. 99 percent of the revenue comes via advertising. (yes, selling more copies leads to increased ad rates and revenue, but one article does not a rate hike make.) in the 1950s you would have had newspapers printing articles for the purpose of selling more copies. those days are long over.

enough of the history lesson. the following are comments on the article:

i have little problem with the content of the article. what i dislike is the fact that the article focuses on one of about 1 million topics regarding gender, and even if the paper publishes other articles, many people will never see the others, so this may be the only article your typical macho man, or anyone else, reads for quite a while.

my reactions to statements in the article:

the description of the hockey player may not be the best representation of the community, but when writing a story, the most atypical representative is going to draw attention. that's a fact of life. other characterizations of the other women present would have been helpful.

By most counts, this is a city where almost anything goes. But not quite. this reinforces what i have read on travel web sites, that LV is not a GLBT vacation destination. i am not surprised to read characterizations that it is not a GLBT city. i'm sure it's not less tolerant, by and large, than most major cities, it's just not progressive, ironically.

The wives feel different levels of acceptance or anguish about their husbands' shared fetish. the article focuses on one example, which is a bit unfair, but it does pay lip service to the spectrum.

The men defy cross-dressing stereotypes. They're not gay. They don't want to become women. But they feel compelled to dress in female attire, right down to the underwear and stuffed brassieres. They can't explain it, but as they've aged they've come to accept it. absolutely true! the first sentence tells you that crossdressing is a stereotype, and explains the flaw in it. sadly this is lost in the article's emphasis on an unaccepting wife. i wish i knew why i am wired to want to be a lesbian, but i can't explain it. (i still struggle to accept it, at this point, which means i have a big damn closet.)

Glovinsky described the men's condition as a fetish because initially, at least, cross-dressers derive sexual pleasure from wearing women's clothing. for me, this statement is wrong, and likely the case for many! i may not have understood what it meant, but when i was 5 or 6, i knew, in my limited capacity, that i was a crossdresser. here's the most amazing part of my story: circa age 8, i bought a pair of pantyhose. that's a story for another day, but i did it nearly 30 years ago, yet i struggle with it today. it wasn't until years later that i started deriving sexual pleasure from crossdressing. so for me, today, it's a bit of both. i use it for sexual pleasure, but first and foremost, i am a lesbian living in a man's body.

Cross-dressers divide into two groups, he said: Those who feel they're a woman trapped in a man's body, and those like the Tri Ess group, who dress as women for psychological comfort. perhaps this is true, but i belong to both groups.

"Donning a female's clothing, for some strange reason with these individuals, has eliminated anxiety," Glovinsky said. "And people develop habits that persist. After a while the behavior becomes self-sustaining. It doesn't provide pleasure, but it sure eliminates anxiety." i would hope "strange" would be acknowledged as a poor choice of words, if glovinsky was asked to explain himself. as for his following statement, i suspect it is less than 100 percent accurate. for me, there are times that crossdressing isn't particularly a pleasure so much as it is a way to eliminate anxiety, but that is far from typical after 35 years of life, so i'm doubtful feminization will cease to be pleasurable. even if crossdressing was 111% socially acceptable, it would still be a pleasure to wear tights and a dress on a daily basis.

Most men are unable to cope with the condition and try to deny or suppress it until later in life. most men? i'm not sure about this, but didn't find the statement to be automatically inaccurate. statistical support would have been helpful.

The youngest man at this meeting is 55. my goal by 2008 is to relocate outside of minnesota. in january 2008 i will be 37. one of the cities i would consider relocating to is las vegas. this stat is disappointing, but not reason enuff to scratch it off my list.

Nora waited more than 25 years before he disclosed his cross-dressing. That was 16 years ago, and his wife's still simmering. The couple's adult children still do not know. i have no opinion on if children need to know, but i am single, never married, and thankful i never winded up marrying 10 years ago, because i know that i cannot get married without expressing michelle. i was unprepared to do so 10 years ago, and might have ended up like nora. nora is not patently different than a gay man supressing feelings to a wife, in my non-expert opinion. my past 35 years may have been difficult, but i'm grateful i didn't marry without acceptance of who i am. despite my enlightenment, i would bet against my ever being married.

Kimberly speaks up: "If there was a pill to cure this, every one of our wives would make us take it." i wish the reporter would have asked a crossdresser. i think i know the answer, but i'd like to hear the responses from those at the table. for the record, i'd take that pill in a heartbeat, and i assume many of us would, but again, another topic for another thread.

thank you for taking the time to read my comments.

[melissaabom]

Hi

The writer should have been a crossdresser.. ..someone who does not understand or has not walked in our heels or skirts..should not ,....I repeat should not be writing abouta subject he or she knows nothing about !

My two cents


Melissa

[cd_michelle_mpls]

Hi

The writer should have been a crossdresser.. ..someone who does not understand or has not walked in our heels or skirts..should not ,....I repeat should not be writing abouta subject he or she knows nothing about !
Melissa

nice idea, but impractical. if newspapers had to rely on crossdressers to write about crossdressers, rapists to write about rapists, rocket scientists to write about rocket science, your newspaper would be a lot thinner. writers are not expets, they're simply storytellers. some are better than others, some grasp subjects better than others. and while the article written for the LV Sun may not have been the best, it is by no means a representation of all facets of crossdressing. i learned things from it, and i'm better for it. without the article, i am less educated.

articles are but one story by one person. they're not intended to tell you everything. they're a stepping stone. it's up to the reader to pick up the ball and run with it, if s/he so desires, at the end of the article.

[Kristen Kelly]

I'm going to go out on a limb here. I think this article was very one sided giving the wives point of view a larger piece of the pie, but ladies listen to your wives and GF for a moment, many of the things said in the article ARE true. To often we are in the "Pink Fog" when it comes to reality, we place a large burden on our SO’s, our secret becomes theirs. I have spent the last 3 months talking with my GF since I came out to her. The conversations have been very emotional.
I read many posts and chat with many of the girls here, I am out with you and hear how the woman in your lives don’t accept you and wish this would go away, we know it won’t. There are some SO’s out there that for one reason or another do not want to talk about it, but for everyone of those there are as many CD’s that don’t give them a chance.
If we put as much work into our relationships as we do on doing our makeup, how much prettier our lives might be.