Explaining to Others

[susandrea]

Do you think you've ever fully explained the reason you crossdress to another person?

Do you feel you were completely understood?

Do you think it's possible?

Has your own opinion about it ever changed?

[JulieFL]

The only person in my life that knows about my "hobby" is my wife.

I've never been able to fully explain it to Her as I don't fully understand it myself:straightface:

Julie

[Melissa Ryan]

Its too hard to explain to myself let alone others! I am just happy that most of my friends and family have accepted me! They still tell me they dont understand, but in the next breath its usually something like, as long as your happy. It is to hard to fathom and relay via words to another.

[KarenSusan]

I have only told a lady I one time worked with. She asked the question "why".
Like other girls here I didn't know I could only say that it felt right.

[ArleneRaquel]

I have tried to fully explain my life style choices to a very few relatives, but I do not think that they will ever understand, certainly not fully. I feel that as long as I do no harm to others,it is perfectly right for me to live this way. If I felt otherwise I would, very reluctantly give it up. :love: From the New Woman Katrina

[fiona_libby]

I did share my experiences with a counsellor when going through a particularily troubled period of my life, although I do not think see really understood why I had the need to dress femininely. I may have to have another go at talking to someone as I continually feel the need to share my burden.
lots of love
Fiona

[Phyliss]

When I "outed" myself to my sister, I felt that I had a NEED to explain myself, but somehow the right words just wouldn't or couldn't come out. Thankfully with her help, (because of our common experiences as kids) she understood without my having to go into a long winded speech. As a matter of fact she helped me to better ubnderstand why I do what I do.
I've come to a point that my reasons are comfortable to me and I guess that's all that matters. If I was pressed to have to explain to another person why I CD, I believe I could explain myself. It might take about an hour or so of talking, but I could say the right words. Now, would the other person understand? Maybe. But at least I can offer an explaination.

[Joy Carter]

Do you think you've ever fully explained the reason you crossdress to another person?

Do you feel you were completely understood?

Do you think it's possible?

Has your own opinion about it ever changed?

I accepted myself and I have gained so much by doing so as for my opinion well I know now it wasn't about sex, but about who I really am. Explaine it ? How when I dont' know myself. My loving wife says "but you can't" I'm not too sure about that, just what is there about dressing that says I can't. We are going through a tough time right now because of it. I have put it aside all my life but now is the time I won't live for ever. I'm sorry she is conflicted over this but I can't quit now I'm happy, more than I have been in years. This can not be a hobby as some here have said, I'm a gurl and I have always known that, just now I can fully realize the dream.:thumbsup:

[Carroll]

I have had to go through the 101 questions from my mom, and and friend we used to have. (turned out to be a backstabing *itch) My wife just told a new friend of her's about me. She is a very nice girl and since she has been coming over everyday, it was cutting into my dress time so it was either tell her or make me suffer. Her reaction was...whatever. First time she saw me, all she did was smile and go about her conversation with my wife. She has yet to ask me any questions and I even encouraged her to.

[margie remojeme]

I've never explained it to others, except other crossdressers, most of whom I've chatted with on line. At this point, I have no desire to share this part of my life with anyone else, but other members of the CD/TG community

[Sharon]

I believe my friends and family understand where I am and my feelings about who and what I am. Believe me, I have had many long, drawn out conversations on this matter with my family and several of my friends and acquaintances.

One feeling I have, however, and one I haven't really explored yet, is that I think some of these people expected me to suddenly change personalities, in that I "act" more feminine than the person they had become accustomed to over the years. It's nothing I can put my finger on, but I feel as though they expected my personality to change as much as my clothing has.

[Holly]

Well, my adult kids know, a GG friend knows, and a gay couple know. My daughter thinks it's cool, my son has questions but, so far, has been afraid to ask, and my GG friend and the gay couple really don't care as long as I'm happy. The one person I've talked to the most about my CDing is my wife. She is the kindest and most compassionate person I know. Sometimes I think I did a pretty good job of explaining scrambled gender concepts to her and other times I have to wonder how well I communicated myself to her. It's a good thing she is who she is, because sometimes I'm not sure who the heck I am!

[MarilynH]

Its too hard to explain to myself let alone others!

I have to agree w/ Melissa, here. I will certainly make an honest effort of it, but, depending on who it is, my explanation could be as simple as "It's just a part of who I am."

Hugs.

[Calliope]

There's probably a literary motherlode awaitin' with this. Perhaps a compendium, certainly a very sure voice or two would be required to get it off the ground. Who knows what genius remains in the closet. Because the free market would deem such an endeavor a microscopic footnote, chances are the light of day remains out of reach. Still, with the intenet, it's possible.

[Lindsay Marie]

I have only told a lady I one time worked with. She asked the question "why".
Like other girls here I didn't know I could only say that it felt right.


That's the response I got from my mother, that and "are you gay". My response was because it makes me happy, and she seems to be satisfied with that.

[Marla S]

Do you think you've ever fully explained the reason you crossdress to another person?
Fully No. Partial YES

Do you feel you were completely understood?
Kind of, though "completely" is literally impossible. (How to make someone completely understand that you like Pepsi better than Coca Cola ?)

Do you think it's possible?
Definitely ("completely" excluded)*. It depends a lot on the flexibility of thinking by my counterpart, though.

Has your own opinion about it ever changed?
Dramatically. Almost upside down, in a way.

*The maximun you can reach is to make it comprehensible and that your counterpart understands that you act and feel like it is approriate for you.

[Lisa Golightly]

I don't think I've ever really tried, and I have no intention of ever bothering to be honest. It's just something I do, and you either swing with it or you don't.

[swiss_susan]

Since I don't really know (or care) why I enjoy it, I have never reallly tried to explain it to anyone. I just accept the fact its part of me and go with it.

Susan

[ColleenCD]

My parents learned through discovery, but never understood, the "Therapist" I was sent had no chance of understanding since I was a teen and felt like a cornered animal and I could have worked for the CIA I was so tight lipped. But of all people, my wife has full knowledge, understanding, and a level of acceptance. I'll take that all day long.

With my wife, I still doubt she will ever completely understand. Only the God who made me can fully and completely understand me.(IMHO)

Love,

Colleen

[KateW]

I don't really know why I do it, and find it very hard putting my feelings into words. I have talked to my wife at length about the subject, but never really reached any solid conclusions. As I accept who I am, I have stopped looking for answers though, and just enjoy it.

[JenniferMint]

I have a couple lesbian friends who are totally cool with my being M2F. I never really explained things to them but I guess being involved in the GLBT community, they already know about transsexuality.

(One of them said she finds me attractive... too bad she's already in a relationship)

[NikkiT]

I find it extremely difficult to explain why I dress up to people, considering that I don't even know why I do it. Me and my friends have thrown around a couple of possible explainations, but it's pretty much all speculation:

1) When I was younger, I was overweight and was made fun of a lot in school as I was unable to keep up in hockey games. This usually embarrased my father who would subsequently beat the shit out of me after a practice or a game. I've thought that perhaps I secretly wished that I was a girl when I was this age, as a girl wouldn't have to worry about playing hockey or receiving constant abuse for male inadequecies. Of course, I never considered how he would react to me being an overweight girl who could suffer from a different range of problems.

2) My mother was a woman in the most techinical definition of the word. She had short hair, never wore makeup, and wore baggy jeans and button up plaid or denim shirts - a nice butch collection of clothing. She never wore dresses or perfume, and gave out the impression of being a man. The severe lack of a feminine influence in my life combined with being overweight (and not having girls talk to me in school) might have triggered something in my mind - causing me to compensate for a lack of girlish input by turning into a girl myself. Since I didn't hang around any girls for any large amount of time, they were also very mysterious - I had no idea what they did for fun or talked about when alone. Perhaps the excitement of being around articles of women's clothing or makeup counters in the mall was stemmed from being unfamiliar with them in the first place, sort of a forbidden feeling of "You don't know what these things are! Are you sure it's safe to be around them?"

Or course, I'm the furthest thing from a psychologist and all of this is really just uneducated guessing. For all I know there's a yet to be discovered "Tran-Gland" somewhere in the body that develops during puberty, excreting frequent urges to get pretty.

[Snookums]

when I'm asked,I explain God made me this way,goes to show even God has a sense of humor,or he is a sadist.

[Susan Johnson]

tried to explain to my wife and I think she accepts that this is me and I don't know why I want to do it (and can't stop)
susan

[lexygirl]

I haven't had to explain to any on yet but if I did I couldn't tell them how.

[eleventhdr]

You either get it or you do not!

Jay Suzy!